Requests
by Mystic83
Summary: PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE IN CHAPTER 1. A series of KL oneshots based off of one sentence drabbles I've created over the past year.
1. Whisper

**Author's Note: Please understand that this is going to be a group of one-shots thrown together as chapters. I posted the opening for requests on my LJ account (if you're interested, the LJ name's hackaddict), and these are the results. None of the chapters are intentionally related so don't take them to be. Thank you.**

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_They say the gods whisper the name of the one you belong to at the very moment in which you cross into the dreamworld, but as Kara found herself falling asleep on the eve of her engagement announcement, she wished they had been a little more specific on which Adama that was supposed to be. _

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They say the gods whisper the name of the one you belong to at the very moment in which you cross into the dreamworld, but as Kara found herself falling asleep on the eve of her engagement announcement, she wished they had been a little more specific on which Adama that was supposed to be.

There hadn't always been this confusion.

From the day she met Zak, she knew he was the one for her. He understood every inch of her from her temper to her toes. She had risked everything to be with him. He was a student, after all.

Amazingly, for the first time in her life, it had worked out. The gods had given her a gift.

The first time she met Lee, she was a nervous wreck, and it turned out to be well-founded. The bastard looked down his nose at her, the cocky flight instructor who seduced her student, his baby brother, into an illicit affair. The first second Zak left them alone, he was asking her what her intentions were. It was laughable.

For some reason, his protectiveness endeared him to her.

They got over that first bump rather quickly once they figured out they were practically the same person in all the ways that mattered. Kara actually started looking forward to Lee's visits.

Things were going smoothly. She was in love with an amazing man and somehow, along the way, she had gotten one of the best friends a girl could have in the form of his brother. That was the reason she insisted they wait until Lee's next visit to tell him the good news.

It was supposed to be nice, a small quiet dinner at their favorite bar on Picon. Lee wasn't supposed to be late. Zak wasn't supposed to get called to that stupid last minute class. Kara wasn't supposed to be five drinks into the night by the time Lee finally showed.

He hadn't hesitated to catch up with her drink wise as he started telling the ridiculous story as to how his Raptor from the docked Atlantia ended up in a ravine twenty miles from where it was supposed to be. When he got to the part about his co-pilot accidentally pushing him into one of the rivers heading into the city because she saw a bee land on his shoulder, Kara thought she was going to die from laughing.

It was weird how the dynamic shifted with the absence of Zak. Sure, she and Lee had always joked around with one another, but there had never been this need to touch before. It was small at first, a brush of hands as he handed her the beer he bought, a loving pat when she said something patronizing, a slap upside the head when he said something stupid.

Then it escalated. He was telling her the story about the first time he ended up in the brig, and she reached out to lay her hand on top of his. A bit of foam off her beer ended up on her nose, and Lee didn't hesitate to fix that. She flicked a peanut at his head, and when he winced in pain, she leaned forward to brush a kiss against the reddened skin to make it better.

It all culminated in a guy coming over to try to buy Kara a drink, and in response Lee seamlessly slid his arm around her… and kept it there. Things would have been fine. Kara could have dealt with it if the guy hadn't come back.

"You know, a guy could get the wrong idea from the way you're acting."

Kara could feel Lee's arm stiffen as she turned to look at the obviously intoxicated man. "Excuse me?"

"You've been staring at me all night, begging me to come over, and then when I do, this bastard gets all protective. That makes you a tease in my book."

His stool scrapped against the floor as Lee pushed to his feet. Kara's eyes went wide. "Lee, no."

He glanced at her a moment before taking a step to put himself toe to toe with this asshole. "You apologize right now."

"Or what?"

Lee stared at him a moment and then his right fist was making contact with the other man's face. "Or that, you jackass."

Things would have been fine if it just ended there, but it turned out the intoxicated man was not by himself. Before Kara knew what was happening, two men had jumped on Lee. She had no other choice but to join in.

It only took them a minute to start having fun. They started moving together as a team. The other guys didn't stand a chance.

When they got bored, Lee took out his wallet and slammed enough money down onto the bar to cover the damages. The bartender smirked at him and invited them to come back again.

Lee put his arm around Kara as they stepped out into the hot summer night air, and Kara didn't pause to think how wrong it was as she slipped her arms around his waist.

Walking down the street, Kara laughingly pointed out that she never got into fights when his brother was around. Lee reminded her that Zak was not the fighting kind of man.

Kara felt Lee's head tilt down and was surprise to realize he was sniffing her hair. "Lee Adama, you're drunk."

"Kara Thrace, so are you."

"Touché," she muttered with a small giggle.

They walked along the streets in silence, and Kara knew there was something definitely wrong about this. She just couldn't put her finger on what that was. In reality, this was what Zak had always wanted. He wanted the woman he loved to be close with his big brother. He wanted them to bond.

"This is nice," Kara whispered, tightening her arms a little.

"Yeah."

Their agreement hung in the air between them, and Kara found herself wondering if there was more to it than what was on the surface. Because this was nice. _Too_ nice. Nice in a way that things shouldn't be nice. Nice in a you're about to frak you life up yet again, Kara Thrace way.

Lee let out a deep sigh and ran his hands along the goosebumps on her arm. "You know, if things were different, Kara…"

His voice trailed off, and Kara knew he was keeping himself in check. He was giving her a way out of whatever they were on the edge of. Too bad she was too foolish and drunk to take it. "If things were different?"

"If things were different, you'd be the type of girl I would move heaven and earth to have."

Her feet faltered as his words sunk in. She looked up to see him wince. He knew he had just crossed a line he shouldn't have. The only problem was Kara didn't really know whether that was a bad thing. She waited until he peeked on eye hesitantly open before answering. "Lee, I-"

"Hey, wait up you two!"

Kara was proud at herself for not springing from Lee's arm the second she heard Zak's voice. Instead she took a calm step back and waited patiently until he got near. "What happened to that stupid class?" she asked as he pulled her into a quick kiss.

"Ended early," Zak said. He let go of Kara after a moment to look at his brother. "Thanks for looking after my girl."

"Anytime," Lee said, shuffling his feet back and forth.

"We had fun," Kara said. "Lee let me get into a bar fight."

"Frak, I knew you were a bad influence," Zak teased, throwing his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

Lee gave him a small smile before yawning. "Listen. I'm about beat. I'm just going to head back onto campus and pass out for the night."

"I just got here!" Zak protested.

"Let him go," Kara whispered. "He's been complaining all night of a headache. I think he was just being nice, staying out this long with me."

"Fine." Zak stepped away from Kara to give his brother a hug but quickly returned to her side.

Kara's eyes met Lee's for only a fraction of a second, and then she was giving him a small wave and he was walking away.

"Did I miss something?" Zak asked.

Kara looked up at him and smiled. "No, not really. Listen, I'm kind of tired to. Let's just go back to the apartment."

Zak gave her a small nod. He knew when it was wise to not ask questions.

"I waited to tell him," Kara whispered, looping her hand in his.

Zak smiled. "Good. I want to see my big brother's face when he finds out I'm getting married."

They walked the rest of the way home in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

And so Kara was here, laying in bed beside the man she had agreed to marry with the beginnings of slumber tingling the back of her head, wondering if the gods were trying to be cruel or if they really just enjoyed fraking with her.

As she fell asleep, the images in her head cleared and for a brief second she saw a man standing before her. Her mind tried desperately to cling to the picture so she would remember it in the morning. Like always it faded with the silent whisper of his name.


	2. Smirk

_Lee smirked at Kara, "There's only one condition and that is you have to wait sixty seconds before firing the gun; if you can do that, you win."

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Lee didn't know how it got to this point. One minute, they were working together to iron out the new flight schedules now that the pilots were being all mixed up between Galactica and Pegasus. The next, he was pulling her down the corridors towards the firing range. She had looked a little too tense, and for some reason, he was reminded of the way she smiled when they found time for target practice months ago when that Cylon Virus took hold.

She didn't protest when he shoved her into the empty range. That was the sign that his instincts were right. She needed this.

Kara walked over to the firearms locker and punched in the code. "Are we officially off-shift yet?"

Lee looked down at his watch. Technically, they had been off for over an hour now, but the flight schedule wasn't done. He looked up to see her smirking at him. "Why do you want to know?"

Kara's smile simply widened as she reached into the back of the locker and started shoving things around. After a few seconds, she pulled back with a cry of triumph. A full bottle of the Chief's illegal brew was in her hand. "Off-shift means we can have a little fun for once. Maybe pull that stick out of your ass a few inches while no one's looking."

Lee simply shook his head and grabbed the bottle out of her hands. He should protest, but he just wasn't in the mood to play the responsible one. Upending the bottle for a quick drink, he did his best not to wince at the burn.

Kara waited for him to recover before trading him a loaded gun for the bottle. She fought down her own discomfort at the roughly made alcohol before growling at Lee, "How are we going to do this?"

"Shot by shot. Loser takes a drink."

Kara grinned. "You really are hiding a bad boy deep inside that by-the-book exterior, aren't you?"

"I used to have a reputation," Lee reminded her.

Kara's mind flew back to the stories Zak had told her and the ones she picked up at Academy, and she nodded. He was right. There had been quite a few things he was known for back in the day. "Shot one," she said before aiming the gun and firing.

Lee laughed when the shot only hit the shoulder of the target. "Kara, you're not even trying."

She simply arched an eyebrow at him before hopping up on the counter. "Maybe I'm just thirsty, Apollo."

Lee rolled his eyes before firing off his own shot straight to the heart. "Happy to oblige, Captain."

They started trading off, shot for shot, in more ways than one. Lee lost count of how many times he lost halfway through the bottle. Instead, he surrendered to the appreciation of how talented Galen Tyrol was. Whatever he did to that homemade still, it churned out alcohol that could take away all thoughts of metal mother frakers and the need to just keep pushing on. In the end, Lee knew that was what the Fleet needed. More than the hope of finding Earth or the desire to rebuild life, right now they just needed to forget the lengths to which they had been pushed.

He wasn't sure who started the betting portion of their little contest, but start it did.

Before Lee could blink, he owed Kara over two dozen cigars, the handful of chocolates he was hoarding, and he had promised not to rope her into helping with the flight schedules for the rest of the month. Kara owed him… well, she owed him nothing really. She hadn't offered him anything he really wanted, at least not yet

She had asked him a few times what was on his mind when she noticed how quiet he was being, but he simply shook off her questions and pushed her to fire the next shot. He wasn't ready to let her in on what the alcohol was doing to his head. Instead, he took the opportunity to drag his eyes over the length of her body as she squared for her shot. He was doing that more often these days.

Watching her had become his secret hobby. It let him pick up subtle nuisances he had never known before. For instance, she always rubbed her fingers along her lips when she had a good hand in triad. She only teased the Chief when she did something to her Viper and knew it needed fixed. She only took a swing at you, whether it be physical or emotional, if you were dangerously close to making her think too hard about things better left alone. He loved that about her.

"That's ten," Kara said, pointing at the target in glee. "I have kicked your ass ten times in a row."

Lee watched her do a little dance and decided now was the time. His head was still cloudy from the last nine shots that all hopes of keeping himself in check were out the window. It was now or never if he didn't want his conscience to win out.

He got up from his seat on the opposite end of the range and swaggered over to stand nose to nose with her. Without breaking eye contact, he reached behind her to grab the bottle of booze off the counter and took a long taste. He could feel Kara's eyes on him. That little bit of attention burned a lot more than the alcohol currently working its way to the pit of his stomach. He pulled the bottle away from his lips and offered it to her. Smiling, she took a drink and then turned to place it back on the counter.

Lee licked his lips and let his eyes drift down to her backside. "I have a wager to make."

Kara turned to look at him and smirked when she noticed where his eyes had been. "Finally, you're getting into the game. What do you have that I can still win?"

"Two words. Performance evals."

Kara's eyes lit up. "The ones I have to do with Colonel Tigh next week?"

"The very same," Lee whispered. He was all too aware that they were completely in each other's personal space. They had been doing that a lot lately. "I'm offering to do them for you. I know the pilots just as well as you do so it shouldn't be a problem to switch if I lose."

"And if you win?"

"If I win, then the slate goes back to zero."

Kara narrowed her eyes. "What do I have to do?"

"Just get a clean head shot."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Agreed," Kara said as fast as she could.

Lee smiled. He had been counting on the fact that she would have agreed to just about anything to get out of those lengthy meetings with Tigh. She turned to take aim, and that was when Lee put his real plan into action.

Kara stiffened as she felt Lee step a few inches closer to her body. She had expected him to back off and give her room to take the shot. Her heart fluttered a brief second as she felt him lightly nuzzle her shoulder. She shut her eyes and swore to herself. This wasn't happening. She had had just a little too much ambrosia and now she was imagining things. She saw his hands moving at the corner of her eye and waited for him to reach for the bottle since that was obviously the whole reason he was crowding her so effectively.

A small moan fell from her lips when his hands rested on her hips instead of the counter. She could feel him shift her body to help her square up and realized this was all part of the game. Shrugging off his rather effective diversionary tactic, Kara brought the gun up to eye level. She could play this game.

"Wait."

Lee's breath teased the side of her neck as his words came out in a husky whisper. Kara felt her hands falter a little as she had to fight the desire churning in the pit of her stomach. She twisted her head to look at him

Lee smirked at Kara, "There's only one condition and that is you have to wait sixty seconds before firing the gun; if you can do that, you win."

"Sixty seconds and that's it? No performance evaluations?" She shook her head and turned back to take aim. "Done."

"I'm going to be counting," Lee teased. "If you only make it to fifty-nine, you lose."

Kara decided she was going to wait for two minutes just to be certain. It couldn't be that hard, could it?

Lee started counting out loud, the sound slightly muffled by her hair. His right hand started to move at ten. Kara felt it slid over the bone of her hip and slowly caress the soft skin around her scars from Caprica. At fifteen, his hand retreated back to the middle of her stomach.

"Lee." His name spilled from her lips, and she wasn't sure if it was a question or simply a reminder to herself.

"Forty five to go," he reminded her and started counting again.

Kara didn't have it in her heart to tell him that he was counting awfully slow.

His hand dipped into the waistband of her pants and started inching further. By twenty, he was tickling the skin right above the edge of her briefs. Kara bit her lip and tried to keep her hands from shaking. She needed to focus. Lee didn't have the balls to finish whatever he was playing at. He was just trying to distract her again.

As his hand moved underneath her briefs, she felt his teeth nibble lightly on her ear. "That's cheating," she whispered, trying to hold back the giggle that was on the tip of her tongue for some reason. Her head was still in a haze from all that alcohol.

"Nope," Lee answered. "_This _is cheating."

His hand slid the last few inches into her briefs and rubbed her folds in a deliciously slow move. Kara almost dropped the gun. "What are you-"

"Twenty-nine," Lee reminded her. "Thirty. Performance evals, Kara."

Lee felt her back straighten up as she tried to keep her focus on the target and not on the way he was teasing her. He silently thanked the gods that she hated Tigh so much. It was probably the only thing that could keep her distracted enough to forget what she was letting him do to her body. Her breathing quickened along with the motions of his hand, and he found himself fighting the urge to pull her body into his.

Kara lowered her aim a few inches. She should be fighting this. Her head was telling her to fight this. Lee was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know he was doing it to her. He would regret whatever this was in the morning. He didn't want to win the bet that bad.

His callused hands continued to toy with her senses, and she stumbled back a step almost as if she knew that was what he wanted. This time Lee couldn't hold back the groan on the tip of his tongue as her backside ground into his growing erection. She really had no clue what she was doing to him simply by being there.

"Forty," he whispered as he slipped one finger inside her before quickly taking it back. He heard her whimper slightly and fought the urge to tease her even more. She deserved it for the way she's been messing with his head for weeks. Then again, teasing might make her snap out of whatever haze he had her in, and he wanted to finish this. "Forty-one."

Kara felt her knees weaken as Lee responded to her silent plea and, parting her again, slid his finger exactly where she wanted it. She felt her feet inch apart further to give him better access, and he rewarded her by curving his touch to increase the tension. His free hand crept inside her tanks and cupped her breast through the material of her sports bra. A curse fell from her lips. She should have changed into that damn hooded zip she usually wore. Things would be so much easier if she was wearing it. She forgot about making things easier as Lee's hand pushed down the faded material of her bra.

Lee bit the side of her neck lightly as he made small circles around her areola in the same soft, slow pace as the finger he still had deep inside her. Kara let out a small moan, and that was all the encouragement he needed. He slid another finger into her body and started a firm rhythm, working her towards the edge he knew was so close.

"Oh gods," she hissed as his fingers simultaneously closed around her nipple and hit a spot inside her so delicious she had to fight back a scream. The pace was agonizingly slow, and a little voice in the back of her head told her that it was too slow.

"Fifty," he murmured against her skin.

Kara couldn't remember why that number was important right now. It had something to do with why he was doing what he was doing. She couldn't figure it out. All she knew was it meant he wasn't going to stop.

Her hips started twisting against his touch as if they had a mind of her own. Lee bit back the urge to push this further as she fraked the hell out of his hand, her hips bucking and a series of small pants coming from her lips. He hoped to gods this wasn't another one of his dreams that left him in a rather awkward position in the morning.

Kara whimpered as he moved his hand out to torment her for a moment before pushing two fingers back into her. Lee wished he could see her face right now. It would do his self-esteem wonders to see Kara losing control and knowing it was all because of him. He had always wanted to make her scream.

"Lee."

Her name fell from his lips and caused him to stop in his tracks. It was the first time she acknowledged that she knew it was him waging this war on her senses. He half believed the alcohol would have dulled her senses too much. "Kara," he panted in her ear, dragging his fingertips along her moistened skin before inching his way back inside in a steady rhythm that was rapidly becoming familiar. "Fifty-five." His movements sped up. "Fifty-six."

Kara's vision went white as she lost control. She slammed herself mercilessly into him when the orgasm took hold and let out a deep scream. His fingers only slowed slightly, still pushing as she worked her way through the sudden release.

Lee stilled his fingers just as her walls finally relaxed and leaned in to whisper, "Sixty."

Kara reacted on instinct, lifting the gun to fire off the round. She hardly even aimed.

Lee barely registered her shot before he heard the gun clatter to the floor and felt her body twisting in his arms. Her hands pulled his head towards her, and the result was a crushing, consuming kiss that stole his breath away. He could feel her kick off her boots even as her fingers tightened in his hair. Her teeth tugged at his bottom lip, demanding entrance, and he found, like everything else, he could not deny her. Her tongue eased away the small pain her bite had left behind, and Lee stopped fighting the urge to define whatever this was.

They were indefinable.

The kiss ended as quickly as it began, and Lee wondered if reality had just slammed home. He felt her grip his tanks for a moment before she was shoving him away. Her hands flew up to her swollen lips, and their eyes locked in surprise. They were both panting, searching for the breath that Lee knew was never going to come back, not after what they had just done. He was always going to be grasping to get his bearings from now on.

Kara broke first, dropping her eyes to the floor, and the guilt hit him like a brick wall. She was right. He _could _be a real prick sometimes. Lee was about to apologize for taking advantage of her when her hands moved to the waist of her pants. He stared in awe as she slid the old cotton sweats to the ground and carefully stepped out of them. She hopped up to sit on the counter, knocking the almost empty bottle and his gun onto the floor with a loud smack. The noise didn't faze her. She reached out and curved her fingers in the loops of his pants, pulling him close to her. He smiled when he felt her fumbling to undo the buttons. That cool Starbuck façade had disappeared somewhere along the way.

Kara was still staring at him when she finally accomplished her goal. Smirking in a way that told Lee there _was _a little Starbuck left in her after all, she shoved his pants down as far as she could, being sure to take his underwear along with it.

The cool air brushed against his hot skin as he was finally freed from the constrictive fabric. Kara eyes dropped down, and Lee watched the tip of her tongue dart out to lick her lips slowly. That was all it took for the last of his control to snap. "Kara," he growled, picking her up off the counter.

Kara didn't even have time to answer, to tell him that whatever he wanted to do was okay, to let him know that if he didn't get inside her this very second, she was going to scream. His fingers pushed the crotch of her briefs to the side, and he was sliding himself into her with an appreciative groan. Her legs tightened around his waist, pulling him a few more inches deeper. Lee whispered her name again as he slowly drew himself out and then plunged back inside of her.

Her hands cupped his face, and she managed to growl "harder" before she was pulling him into another one of those consuming kisses that made him forget how this was all-sorts of wrong.

Kara felt him respond to her request almost immediately. Her back slammed back into the counter, and she used it as leverage to move against his thrusts. She was going to have bruises in the morning, and for some reason, she didn't care. Feeling herself lose control, Kara pulled her lips away from his in order to bite down hard on the soft skin of his neck as her second orgasm took over.

She came hard and fast, tightening herself against him, but Lee's thrusts didn't stop. In fact, if anything, they became more forceful.

He groaned with each movement as whatever this was shifted into something more primal. He had tricked and teased his way into pleasing her, and now he was fighting to possess her. He wanted to see her moan, feel her body begging his. He wanted to know that he wasn't crazy to want this.

"I'm with you, Lee," she whispered against him, her heels digging into his spine as she held on for dear life. She could already feel herself on edge again. "Oh gods, I'm with you." Her nails dug into his back as she moved herself against him, pushing, pulling, until she felt him snap.

Lee thrust himself as deep as he could and let himself lose the last bit of control. She shattered around him with a force that had been missing the previous times, and Lee had to fight to keep them upright.

Kara's hands came out to brace herself against the counter while they fought for air. She hadn't even noticed she stopped breathing. He pulled himself slowly out of her, and she fought the urge to beg him to come back.

Lee felt his senses finally returning the second he broke contact. Most of the alcohol had been burnt out of his system in his hurry to devour her completely. His face flushed as he realized he hadn't even taken the time to push off his pants. They were simply pooled at his knees. His eyes trailed the length of her body. There were red marks on her hips where his hands were still holding her, and he could see that her underwear was completely ruined. Yet another thing he hadn't had time to take off. He had just pushed them to the side like some barbarian with only one thing on his mind.

Kara dipped her head back for a moment, and Lee tried to figure out if she had just passed out on him. Luckily, she pulled back up after a few seconds and smirked.

"What's so funny?" he asked, finally setting her back down on the ground.

Kara reached down to pull Lee's pants back up, and Lee smiled at the small show of affection as she buttoned them up. After a moment, she smirked again before sliding her arms around him again and pulling him into a quick kiss. "You put up a valiant, valiant effort, Adama, but nobody beats the master."

Lee pulled back to give her a look of confusion.

Kara's hands moved to tilt his gaze to the target behind her. "Bullseye, Lee," she whispered while leaning in to lick where her teeth had marked him earlier. "In more ways than one."


	3. Ring

_Lee was never sure if Kara came to him in the middle night out of love or loneliness until the day she slipped into his bunk and her left hand brushed against him without the noticeable feel of cool metal on warm skin.

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_

Lee was never sure if Kara came to him in the middle night out of love or loneliness until the day she slipped into his bunk and her left hand brushed against him without the noticeable feel of cool metal on warm skin.

This had started out as a way for her to cope with going to Caprica and coming home with the Arrow and a fading memory of the ex-pyramid player who gave his life to save her from the farms.

Lee had seen Kara lose it before, but it had never been this bad. Somehow he knew if she hadn't had him down on the surface of Kobol, she wouldn't have made it through. She would have done something stupid and given up her life for the greater good. He could still remember that look of desolation that came across her face when they sat shoulder to shoulder under the stars of Kobol, cleaning their guns. She didn't really talk a lot, and Lee wasn't going to push her. Pushing only made her lash out.

By the time they returned to the Fleet, her hardened shell was back in place to cover her pain. Lee could still see right through the brave facade. She was just biding her time. The second she thought he and the Old Man were okay on their own, she would be doing something stupid like a suicide Viper run straight into a basestar.

Kara was always crazy like that.

Lee made it through two hours of ignoring her twisting and turning in the bunkroom that first night before he gave up pretending like he didn't care. He slid into her bunk, and without a word, he held her until the crying stopped.

He must have done something right that night because the next night she didn't even attempt to sleep in her bed. She just pulled open his curtain and demanded he scoot over.

The following morning, Lee used what little pull he had as the CAG to gather the senior officers that bunked with him and Kara. "Listen up, people! Starbuck's going to be sharing my bunk with me. If I hear one of you giving her shit or even mentioning it, your asses will be mine." Lee shot them a knowing look before stepping out of the room. He had flight schedules to run through.

They didn't speak much during the day. They were too busy in their roles as Starbuck and Apollo. At night, the masks disappeared and they didn't have to pretend that they were okay. They could be vulnerable.

That was when the words finally came.

It started out as the little things. Lee would tell Kara how he was worried his pilots were getting too sloppy, and she would give him suggestions about how to keep the little frakers in line. When that felt comfortable, they moved into the harder topics. She would give him glimpses into what the farms were like and how having Anders there had made it a little easier. He would explain what it had been like to see his father getting shot and knowing he may never get out of the brig cell to say goodbye.

It wasn't an answer to their problems, but it gave Lee an idea about where he could begin.

Lee spent the little amount of free time he had coming up with ways to give Kara purpose in the Fleet. He kept throwing requests for remedial classes for some of the pilots he worried about and made sure to keep every class of nuggets full. He didn't want her to think for a second that she wasn't a vital part of this Fleet.

Lee's greatest fear was that she would just slip away, right through his fingers and out into space.

He never told her that.

There was one topic they never breeched at night, and it was the most obvious one. Lee never asked Kara why she kept coming to his bunk even after the nightmares stopped.

Because they did.

Even though they didn't know it, the nightmares stopped the second she finally finished telling him what happened to her on Caprica. She had reconciled herself to the sacrifice Samuel Anders had made for her, and she finally understood the importance of that small, significant gesture.

Lee had been running late after one of his CAP assignments the night he finally found out the nightmares were gone. The Chief needed his opinion on whether a few wrecked Vipers could be used in Kara's flight instruction classes so he had put in a few extra hours. Lee knew he couldn't shrug his responsibilities this time, so when he got to the bunkroom and found Kara already fast asleep, he was relieved. For one agonizing second, he had imagined her thrashing in bed, trying to find peace without his help.

The reality was a lot better. She looked so peaceful sleeping there that Lee couldn't bear to slide into the bed for fear of waking her. He sat down on the metal floor by his bunk and just watched her sleep. Something pulled at his heart from deep inside. She had slowly and surely become his world over the past year.

He probably would have sat there all night if she hadn't turned over to blink at him in a sleepy haze. Lee felt himself smile as his name fell from her lips and she asked him what he was doing. "Nothing. I was just taking off my boots," he lied.

"Come to bed," she said, moving towards the wall of the bunk.

Lee slid out of his flight suit as quick as he could and got under the covers with her. It was only until after he had settled in with his arm tucked tightly around her that he realized she hadn't stirred once. There was no heart wrenching whimper or worrying twist of the body. There was no sign that she had been doing anything but dreaming happily away of a time before the Cylons destroyed their lives.

He knew that he should tell Kara that she wasn't having nightmares anymore, but he couldn't stand the thought of losing this one little piece of her that he had all to himself. So he held his tongue and hoped she would forgive him when the time came.

Time seemed to speed up once he knew that Kara was going to be all right. The Pegasus came to the Fleet, and things got hard again. He almost died, but Kara was there for him when it mattered.

Lee had been given a data recording of the ship comms that day as a get-well present from his pilots. At first, he didn't understand why he would want a permanent reminder of the sound of his ship blowing up and the dead echo of the comm channel he refused to use. Hot Dog had just given him a funny look and told him he needed to listen to the thirty-ninth minute. Curious, he had gone down to the planning room right away in order to listen to the recording. His face filled with confusion as Kara's voice filled the empty room.

"Listen to me, Dee. If you do not get a Raptor out there to Apollo's position within the next ten seconds, I will personally rip your head off your body when I come back to Galactica. Lee is not allowed to die."

Yea, Kara was definitely one of the main reasons he was still alive today. Lee still had no clue how she hacked into Galactica's comm channels from her Pegasus Viper. Her threat to Dee's life was appreciated, though, as a sign that she really was back to normal.

In the end, he was almost glad the Blackbird blew up because without that moment, he probably would have lost these nights of solid sleep. They were still stationed on the Pegasus so Lee didn't have enough pull to keep the pilots from talking about the two children of William Adama who also shared the same bed. The consequence of that was instead of coming back to the bunkroom to find Kara already sleeping on his pillow, he came home to an empty bunk.

It only stayed empty for an hour or two, just long enough for it to be safe to move without anyone noticing. He would be just drifting off to sleep when a soft arm would come around his waist as Kara spooned herself against him.

Things were different, though, and they both knew it. Kara had stopped coming to him at night because she needed him a long time ago. Now she came because she thought he needed her.

She was right.

They started to confess to each other at night again. Lee told her what it was like to be floating helpless in space, and she told him what it was like to be stuck in a Viper when she knew he was floating helpless in space. She helped Lee understand why he had given up his will to live for those precious few seconds and why she was happy to know he had failed. Lee apologized for breaking her bird, and she forgave him under one condition. He had to help her build a new stealth ship the first second they got.

So life had continued on like always.

Until tonight.

Until she slipped into the bunk and Zak's engagement ring was no longer on her hand.

His fingers threaded in hers as he held her hand up to his lips. She didn't need to say what this meant. He already knew.


	4. World

_The world stood before them with its proper water supply and fruitful vegetation, but as Kara watched the civilians begin to settle, she couldn't help but ask Lee, "So, do you want to steal a Raptor and fly until we find a world that's a little less perfect and a lot more interesting?"_

* * *

The world stood before them with its proper water supply and fruitful vegetation, but as Kara watched the civilians begin to settle, she couldn't help but ask Lee, "So, do you want to steal a Raptor and fly until we find a world that's a little less perfect and a lot more interesting?" 

Hearing the shakiness behind the cocky tone of voice, Lee walked over to the co-pilot's seat and sat down. "Tell me what's wrong, Kara."

She sighed and kicked her feet up onto the control board. "It's nothing. I guess I just got used to constantly being on the run. It was comforting."

"This place could be comforting, too, if you give it time."

Kara nodded, but Lee had a feeling she was just humoring him. He could understand where she was coming from. It was hard to make the shift from constantly running for your life every second of every day to just sitting around and wondering whether building homes or raising crops was your new life calling. Things were especially hard for people like Kara. Her heart was in the skies, but in about a month, the skies were going to be off-limits. The Fleet had to keep a low profile if they wanted to avoid the Cylons' attention.

"Things are changing already," Kara whispered. The sadness in her voice was almost tangible.

Lee let out a deep breath and settled into the chair. He had nowhere to be right now. "Like what?"

"For starters, just this morning, Hot Dog asked me if I wanted to find a nice little farm to settle down on with him."

"And you said?"

Kara twisted to look at Lee. "No."

He smiled. "Good."

"Seriously, though, Lee. Things are going to be different. The Old Man's up there in the skies, and he's not going to come down unless they kill him. Roslin needs you and I on the planet. Helo's halfway down the road to becoming a hermit now that Sharon's died. The nuggets I trained so hard to keep alive are just casting their wings aside without a second thought in order to settle this place. It's almost like flying meant nothing to them. The Chief's getting married. Cally's all pregnant. Tigh's stopped drinking. Zarek's stopped covertly terrorizing all of us. Roslin is actually talking about instilling that ridiculous repopulation program thing, and I cannot for the life of me understand why these people aren't unhappy."

"It seems like you've covered all the bases," Lee said, looking over at her.

"Almost." Kara turned back to stare at the forest through the Raptor's window. "That's the worst part of all of them. You and I are the one thing in my life that hasn't changed yet. It's taken us a long time to get to the point we're at. I think it would kill me if that were to change."

Lee reached across the distance between the two pilots' seats and grasped her hand. "It won't."

"How can you be sure?"

"I don't know. I just know that it won't."

Kara hadn't even realized her eyes were pooling with tears until one started its slow descent down her cheek. Sniffing, she pushed it away and decided it was time for a safer topic. "I miss flying."

Lee squeezed her hand. "I'm sure we can work something out to fix that. Besides, there are better things to do than fly."

Kara shot him a look of disbelief. "Like what?"

"Like pyramid." Lee knew she missed that part of her life. "Or painting." Kara still wasn't smiling. Lee didn't like that. "Or there's always fraking. Hot Dog did offer you a rather comfy life."

Kara chuckled. "I'd rather settle down on a farm with Tigh."

"Wow. You really hate Constanza that much?"

"He's the pain in my side that won't go away." Kara waited a moment before adding, "But he was a good pilot."

There was a soft beep from the back of the Raptor to indicate there was a comm call coming through. "I should get that," Lee stated.

"Yeah. You really should. Roslin probably wants to ask you to be the poster child for her baby program." Kara smirked. "Lee Adama, encouraging procreation across the Fleet since the Cylon holocaust. It has a ring to it."

Lee twisted in the seat to gently smack her upside the head. "Very funny."

"I thought so," Kara insisted, settling back into her seat.

A few minutes passed by and whomever was trying to contact them didn't make a second attempt. Kara figured that was a good sign. This was the first moment of peace she had been given since they found this stupid planet. The fact that it was with Lee was just too good to be true. "You know, I might not say no if _you_ ask me to settle down on a farm," she pointed out.

"I was saving that little surprise for your birthday," he teased.

Kara smiled, and she felt his grip on her hand tighten. "Just make sure we have room for a painting studio. I am not giving up my art for you."

"I would never ask you to," Lee hissed, playfully acting shocked that she could think such a thing. He waited a moment before tugging on her hand.

Kara let him pull her out of her seat and into his lap. She felt his arms come around her waist and smiled.

"So tell me about this more interesting planet of imperfection we're going to find," Lee whispered.

Halfway through her description, Kara decided that maybe Lee was right. Maybe they didn't have to change if they didn't want to. Maybe they could have it like this forever.


	5. King

"_Full colors," Kara said, throwing down the cards, and Lee couldn't help but smirk, "We're playing by Earth rules so those are two Kings, a Queen, an eight, and a nine, Kara, making you a big fat loser."

* * *

_

Lee studied her over the top of the cards in his hand. She looked confident in the hand she had been dealt, but then again when didn't she? "I heard you got called in for questioning this morning," he said, throwing a few coins into the center of the bed.

Kara sighed and stretched her feet out along the bunk. Her toes skimmed Lee's knee. "They wanted me to tell the story about what happened at Ragnor again."

"The idiots haven't gotten past that yet?" Lee asked shaking his head.

"Tell me about it. You and I are going to be locked up in this cell for the next five years at the rate they're going."

Lee laughed. "That's a little overly dramatic. They did say as soon as we pass those blood tests, they would move us to a more humane holding facility. Personally, I'm hoping that means no more glass walls."

Kara nodded and took the time to wave at the guards standing outside the cell. "I think the blond one wants to frak me."

"I think we already have enough trouble as it is," Lee said, hoping he was keeping his jealousy in check. When Kara's smirk widened, he realized he hadn't done that good of a job. "Are you betting?"

"I see your thirty cubits and raise you one night of peace and quiet."

"Call," Lee said, throwing the last of his cubits into the pot. His cell was next to hers and in the dead of the night, he could hear every word she said. "Although I think a night of peace and quiet from you is worth a heck of a lot more than 200 cubits."

Kara rolled her eyes and shifted her body so that her feet lay in Lee's lap. His right hand reached down without thought to start rubbing it. "So how long do you really think this is going to take?"

"Well, we found Earth about five months ago. You and I have been down here two trying to convince them that we're not escaped mental patients or terrorists. Once we get them to accept the whole Ragnor thing, we can skip right to New Caprica and then our discovery of Earth. If we summarize, I think you and I can be out of here by the end of the month."

"Cock-eyed optimist," Kara growled, shaking her head. "They still think we're from jars."

"I think they called it Mars."

"Whatever." A commotion in the hall outside their cell drew their attention away from the game. It was shift change. "There goes my man," Kara said, blowing the blond guard a goodbye kiss.

"Seriously, Kara, for someone who's going completely stir crazy, you are asking for trouble."

Kara watched the guard until he was out of sight before turning back to Lee. "But did you hear him talk? He has the cute little accent that sounds like he's from Tauron. What do they call it here?"

"British," Lee answered, "and he sounds like fraking Baltar."

Kara's face wrinkled in disgust. "That's not funny."

"I thought it was," Lee smirked.

Kara moved her foot to kick him playfully in the groin before setting it down on his thigh again. "Do you think the Old Man misses us?"

"I think he's enjoying the vacation."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Okay," Lee said, pushing her feet away so he could sit up straight. "I'm all in."

"All in with what?" she asked, gesturing to the empty mattress beside him.

"All in with I'll do one thing that you want me to do in order to piss off our guards, but only one."

"Even if that means openly fraking me in front of the guards so they have to stand around with blue balls until the next shift change?"

Lee raised his eyebrow at her. Why did he get the feeling she had been cooking up that particular plot for quite a while now? "A bet's a bet, I guess."

Kara's smile grew even though Lee wasn't sure that was possible. "All right. I accept your all in, and I'll meet you with the promise of not lying to the doctors so that you end up naked in front of a bunch of nurses again."

Lee shook his head. He was still mad at her for that one. "Show 'em."

"Full colors," Kara said, throwing down the cards, and Lee couldn't help but smirk, "We're playing by Earth rules so those are two Kings, a Queen, an eight, and a nine, Kara, making you a big fat loser."

Kara's smile immediately turned into a pout, and Lee tossed his two pairs to the side. He crawled across the pot sitting in the middle of the bunk and kept moving until he was nearly on top of her. "Don't worry," he whispered, leaning in to trail a line of kisses down the side of her neck. "I'll still frak you for the guards."


	6. View

_The secret of their relationship was always in plain view for anyone who took the time to look- Lee never asked for more than Kara was willing to give and Kara refused to treat Lee as anything more than what he was.

* * *

_

Kara rested her back against the heavy metal hatchway and tried to catch her breath. She could feel the vibrations as the Cylon got closer to her target. Her eyes drifted across the room to the man currently looking her up and down. She could feel his eyes settled on the trail of blood dripping from the gash in her head before moving to notice the way her bottom lip was already swelling past all the cuts and bruises on her arms down and finally resting where her thigh had been cut open. He wasn't worried about the fact that she was injured. He was simply checking for damages.

She had to admit he was the last person she thought she'd be with in the end.

"Do you have it in you to finish this, Major?" Lee said, slow and careful.

Kara's eyes narrowed at his words. She took a moment to look him over the way he had just done to her. His left eye was swollen, and there was a trickle of blood coming from his nose. It was broken. His right arm was resting against his abdomen. Kara figured that meant he had at least a couple broken ribs that needed stabilizing. All in all, he was no worse than she. "Do you?" she spit back, looking into his eyes in defiance.

"I always get the job done."

"That's right. Even when you don't mean to. You just can't help it," Kara said, her face breaking into a harsh smile. Lee hadn't even known there was such a thing until now.

The pounding in the corridor got louder.

"They're getting closer," Kara whispered.

Lee nodded. Silently, he pulled out his two side arms and clipped in fresh cartridges. They didn't have much time left. Now was the time to say their final words to one another, to validate why they were doing what they were doing.

Too bad he had no desire to say a word to the woman sitting across from him.

She was the last person he ever wanted to be with.

Things hadn't always been this way. Once upon a time, he had actually thought he might grow to love her. Looking back, those first few months after the attack were almost too good to be true. He had been adrift in more ways than one when the Twelve Colonies were destroyed and he found himself stranded on Galactica. Some crazy form of healing had come over him when he accepted the CAG position and forced himself to start living again.

Lee wasn't stupid. He knew that it was because of Kara that he was able to keep fighting. She had woken up something inside of him that had died years ago with Zak and just recently with Gianne and his unborn child. She proved that there were some things in life worth fighting for.

He had changed for the better during those first months, and everyone noticed the reason why. It was clear in the way he and Kara morphed into one.

Before he showed up on Galactica, he was Apollo, the son of the great Commander Adama, and she was Starbuck, the best damn pilot who couldn't seem to get her head on straight. They were good in their own right.

But together… together they were _great_. They were Starbuck and Apollo. They were one entity, one single being that defied description or definition. They were as gods.

People claimed they couldn't understand how it happened, but it was actually quite simple. The secret of their relationship was always in plain view for anyone who took the time to look- Lee never asked for more than Kara was willing to give and Kara refused to treat Lee as anything more than what he was.

It was unfortunate that the very give and take which made them so great would also become their downfall.

For six months, they existed in this flawed relationship of thinking they were stable. Then the bottom fell out.

Kara was hung up on Anders. That was fine by Lee. He had his own issues. Things would have been all right if only Lee had broken his half of the agreement while she stuck firm to hers.

He demanded more than she was willing to give. They had been teetering on the edge of something big since the second he walked back into her life. It could have been a love that would surpass all loves like some of his more gutsy pilots bet on. It could have just been a partnership in the sky that defied the odds like some of the CIC staff believed. Or they could have just had the most important connection in the world, the bond of being family. Whatever it was between them, Lee saw it. He felt it. He wanted her to admit it. He demanded she acknowledge it.

She wasn't ready.

He pushed her, and she wasn't ready.

Things just got worse from there.

"Lee."

Her voice pulled him away from his memories. She sounded unlike herself. She sounded fragile. If she wanted reassurance that they were going to make it out of this one alive, she was looking to the wrong man. Lee knew they were going to die.

"What is it, Kara?"

"I keep remembering the day you got promoted to Commander."

Lee shifted. He remembered that day, too. That was the day they reached the point of no return. "What about it?"

"You promised me that we'd be okay. I believed you so much that if someone had said five years from that moment I would be sitting here hating the fact that we are going to die together, I would have punched them out. Because you promised and I believed you back then."

"Can we not talk about it?"

Kara desperately wanted to scream that no, they could not _not_ talk about it because this was it. The pounding was even closer now. They didn't have much time left.

Kara's mind went back to the day she made the mistake that put them in this horrible place. It was a month after Pegasus and Galactica returned to save the people stranded on New Caprica, nineteen months after Lee foolishly promised they were going to be okay and then cut her out of his life. Looking back, she still couldn't say why she did it.

They had been ignoring each other for weeks, both content in their separate lives. Kara had Anders. Lee had Dee. They weren't supposed to get restless.

She wasn't even supposed to be on Pegasus that day. It had been a last minute adjustment by the Admiral. She was to deliver some classified documents to the Commander and then she was free to return to the ship.

Then Lee had looked at her in a way that reminded her of how close they used to be, back when the end of the world was still fresh, back when they still had hope that they were going to find freedom one day.

The memory tore into her, and she lashed out with her words. Words quickly turned into screams. Screams turned into fists. Fists turned into an all-out brawl.

By the time she got her senses back, Lee was fraking her up against the wall of his office.

That was what really felt familiar. The sensation of fraking without feeling was like am empty shell, covering up mistakes and lies. It was not who they were but what they are. Every inch of their beings were hollow.

They didn't speak for weeks.

Kara broke first. For some reason, she had a sense of responsibility to who she and Lee had once been. So she went to him.

The discussion they had that day had been the final nail in the coffin. They had a decision to make. They had to decide if what they had become was big enough to risk breaking colonial law. They had to decided if they were willing to sacrifice their happiness in order to hang on to what they had once been. Kara had wondered if the memories of the past could stop this downward slope they were stuck on.

In the end, it wasn't enough. The last remnants of the great Starbuck and Apollo were gone. They were two separate entities.

They both chose to sacrifice their happiness to do what was right.

Kara was absentmindedly clicking the safety of her gun on and off when Lee finally spoke to her again. "If you had known, would you have changed anything?"

Kara closed her eyes and focused on the banging of the hatch behind her. The Cylon was at the door. She knew what was appropriate to say in a time like this. _Yes, I would have changed everything. I wouldn't have let our friendship go to shit. I would have tried harder. I wouldn't have let us screw everything up._ She could say those words, but they would be a lie. "I don't regret one thing."

For one year, she had hated him like no other man. People she loved had joked that she and Lee were like two planets destined to collide and destroy the world. They were right. No matter how deluded she let herself become, she should have seen it coming.

Life went on for both of them as their hatred for one another and the mistakes they made festered inside. Lee thought that his life had hit rock bottom the day he got word that Kara was in sickbay. He dropped everything he was doing and got on the first Raptor shuttle to Galactica. He only paused to reassure his wife that he loved her and he promised he would return. Dee had believed him. If Kara had been there to witness that moment, she would have laughed in Dee's face. Lee Adama never kept his promises.

Lee heard the call to arms over the shipwide comm system. The Cylons had caught up to them. He knew his place was on the Pegasus, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him his crew was capable of protecting the Fleet without his presence. He was too wrapped up in his worry about what was happening in Galactica's sickbay to understand how bad the fight really was.

The casualties started rolling in, and just as Cottle finally declared everything had gone perfect with Kara's operation, Lee got word that the fight was over.

Even though he hated to leave before he was allowed to step into the post-operating room, Lee knew his place was with his crew while they determined how heavy their losses were. He made it halfway to the hangar bay when he heard the page summoning him to his father's office.

William Adama had been blunt as always. He told Lee that during the fight between the ships, there had been a covert attack on Pegasus. A Cylon agent had opened fire on the CIC. The machine had killed a senior staff member and several Marines before turning the gun on themselves.

His father didn't even have to say the words for Lee to know who the senior staff member was. He could feel it in his bones.

His wife was dead.

For the first time in his life, Lee was glad for the hardened shell he had formed within himself. He thanked his father for telling him and made his way back to his ship.

From that point on, Lee threw himself into answering the questions about how and why this type of thing could happen right under his nose. He went days, weeks, without sleeping, spending his time just studying the reports that were written up about the incident. No one understood what he was looking for. The Cylon murdered had died by his own hand. There was no crime to investigate, no killer to unmask.

Maybe it was because of his emotional connection to the victim or maybe he just felt a duty to insure the safety of the people who worked under his command. Either way, Lee followed his gut. There was something that didn't add up. It took him a year to figure out what that was.

The Cylon had to have access to the CIC to take the shot that killed Dee. Long ago, Lee had established the policy of keeping the CIC doors sealed during battle. If someone wanted access to the inside, they had to have the commanding officer's approval. Only a select few of his crew knew the codes that would open the door. Aaron Doral was definitely not one of those people. That little detail was what finally caused Lee to realize just how deep of trouble his ship was in.

Someone had let Doral into the CIC, and it was someone he trusted.

Kara finally shifted away from the sealed hatch as the pressure finally got too much. She turned to see the metal had dented in around her body. Reality was finally starting to sink in. This was it. This was the moment for which she had been waiting the past fifty-seven days.

The Cylon who had killed her husband and the rest of the civilians on the shuttle that day was here on the Prometheus. It was only inches away.

No one had believed Lee when he insisted there was another traitor in their midst. The Fleet had been tested and retested over the six years they were running from the Cylons. Every toaster had been identified and flushed from their systems. There was no way someone could have aided Doral. Everyone simply brushed off Lee's warning as the delusions of a man mourning the death of his wife.

It wasn't until the accident that Kara started believing him.

The crew said that the shuttle carrying Anders and the rest of his team had a malfunction. Kara knew they were just taking the easy out. She had checked that Raptor from top to bottom when she heard her husband was helping out with the negotiations to end the freighter strike that was holding their food supplies hostage. The Raptor was flawless. Nothing could have malfunctioned so that meant something had made it malfunction.

Kara brought her idea to the Admiral, but he told her there wasn't time for an investigation. The Fleet was on the verge of finding the thirteenth planet. They needed to stay focused. She explained that if the Admiral wanted focus, he was going to have to let her take care of this problem. Then she would focus for him.

It had taken her almost two months to figure out who was behind the death of her husband. It had taken her two hours to track down the dead pilot who had been shuttling Anders and his team when the Raptor malfunctioned.

Kara wasn't surprised to see Lee beside her when she moved to take out the Cylon. Everyone thought Lee had given up his fight to prove that Dee's death was bigger than they thought. Kara knew better. Lee was too stubborn to let things go. It was the one thing she hadn't grown to hate about him.

"She's getting cocky," Kara said, staring at the hatch as the hinges started to snap.

"She has a right to be. I counted at least ten Centurions with her."

"I counted twelve," Kara corrected. "Still doesn't mean she has a right to be so confident."

A spark ignited near the hatch, and Kara saw the claw of a Centurion start to tear away the metal. They had two minutes tops.

It was odd. She had really thought she would have nothing to say to Lee now that it was the end. She thought the anger and resentment would be enough to keep her quiet.

"Did you… did you get my message yesterday?"

Lee nodded. "I was going to come over to Galactica anyway. I had a feeling this was how things were going to play out and I wanted to tell her I loved her one last time." Lee wiped the blood out of his eyes and trained his gun on the nearly broken hatch. "Thank you for letting me say goodbye to our daughter."

Kara had to lean back against the wall to keep herself steady. The pain was only now starting to hit home. "Are you worried about what's going to happen to her when we're gone?"

"Diana will be fine," Lee reassured her. "She has her grandfather to watch after her for at least a little while."

A thought suddenly occurred to Kara. "I asked Karl to bring her to you if I didn't come back."

"I'm not coming back either," Lee pointed out even though they both knew that was what she had just implied. He felt like he needed to say it out right. "I think Helo's smart enough to know you would have wanted him to look after our daughter. He'll take good care of her."

"I know."

The hatch flew back into the room, and Kara could just make out the silhouette of Margaret Edmondson as she stood in the corridor. "Lee?"

"Yes, Kara?"

"I always knew it would end with you and I."

"Me, too."


	7. Ice

Lee trailed the ice cube along the reddened skin of her arm - _Shouldn't it be his brother's responsibility to take care of Kara when she decided to make a social statement on her skin?_- and tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped as a small moan fell from her lips.

* * *

Lee was teaching a military tactics class as a favor for an old classmate when he first ran into her. He was at the grocery store, picking up some food to get him through the next week, when he caught sight of a familiar crop of short blond hair. It took him a second to pull his focus away from her to see where she had come from. Rolling his eyes, he tightened his grip on the bag of food and started jogging to catch up with her.

Tattoo parlors and Kara Thrace only came together when something was wrong.

"Kara!"

The sound of his voice made her pause, and Lee was happy to see her scowl turn up into a smile when she recognized who had called out. "What the frak are you doing here, Adama?"

"Teaching a few of Long's classes while he's on his honeymoon." Lee fell into line beside her as she started walking. "So, your arm?"

Kara glanced down at the bandaged on the inside of her forearm. "Yeah, my arm."

"You want to tell me what that's about?"

"It's not new," Kara said as way of explanation. "I got it a few days ago."

"Really? I talked to Zak yesterday, asked how you were doing. He didn't mention anything."

Kara glanced around the street before letting out a sigh. "Can we not do this in the open? My new apartment's a few blocks from here."

Lee wasn't really sure what she was talking about, but he knew that tone when he heard it. Kara only got serious when she was about to slug you or cry. Lee wished he could say it was the former.

Kara locked the door behind him the second they were both in the apartment. Lee found himself wondering what exactly she was trying to keep out. He was about to ask her when he realized she had already scurried away. He shook his head and chuckled softly. Same old Kara, thinking she could run from anything that made her uncomfortable.

Lee's eyes wandered the apartment before finally resting on the small bag Kara had set on the kitchen counter before rushing out of sight. His curiosity got the better of him after only a few seconds, and he walked over to the bag in order to slowly explore its contents.

"How's life been treating you?" Kara asked as she reentered the room.

Lee looked up to see she had changed out of her normal military-issue cargos and slipped into sweats. "Gooey ice cubes, Kara?" he exclaimed, ignoring her question completely.

Kara let out a laugh. "You know, if you were on Sagittaron, I could cut off your hand for going through my things."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Maybe about twenty centuries ago."

"I'd make it happen," Kara laughed. She sat down on one of the kitchen stools and took the 'gooey' ice cube tray out of his hand. "They're for the tattoo, Lee. It's been itching out of control since I got it, and I just can't concentrate. I went back to the parlor to see if they had anything."

"And they gave you gooey ice cubes?"

"Popper… that's the guy who gave me the tattoo… he said it's this weird mix of ointment and lotion and some kind of cooling agent, all watered down and mixed together to create itch relieving goodness. The guy swears by it."

"So you put this stuff on your arm and the sting goes away?"

"If I can stop from shaking, yeah, that's how it's supposed to work."

Lee's eyes narrowed. "Shaking?"

"I told you. It really fraking itches."

Lee suddenly noticed Kara's knees _were_ shaking, and he realized she was fighting to keep her hands off the bandage on her arm. "Let me do it."

Kara's face lit up in confusion. "Huh?"

"Let me take the gooey ice cube and rub it on your poor itching skin before you snap," Lee said, clearly mocking her predicament.

"Frak you."

"Frak you…" Lee prodded.

"Frak you, you insensitive son of a bitch," Kara continued. She glared at him for a moment before holding out her arm in invitation.

Lee's fingers gently pulled at the adhesive keeping the gauze in place and was happy to see she wasn't tensing up. He knew firsthand how crappy an impulse to get marked could be. He had learned the hard way that Academy nuggets, ambrosia, and a rather manipulative flight instructor should not be mixed. Lee's eyes flicked up to look at Kara, and he smiled.

"What?"

"You remind me of my flight instructor in Academy," Lee said before turning his attention back to the job at hand. He picked up one of the cubes and snuck another glance at the ink-stained skin on her arm. "Bona fiscalia?"

"It's from the ancient language of Kobol." Lee didn't respond. He knew if he stayed silent, she'd keep explaining. "It means public property."

Lee trailed the ice cube along the reddened skin of her arm - _Shouldn't it be his brother's responsibility to take care of Kara when she decided to make a social statement on her skin?_- and tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped as a small moan fell from her lips. "Why public property?"

"Just something someone said to me the other day." Kara closed her eyes and bit down on her lip. "Gods, that feels good."

Lee paused the small circles he was making on her arm and waited until she looked over at him. "Public property?"

"My reputation finally caught up to me." Kara sighed. "I've been called worse things than a slut who'll put out to any man who gives her a second glance."

Lee stared down at the tattoo for a few seconds before it finally hit him why such a random comment would send her on a tailspin that ended with a permanent alteration to her appearance. "Zak always did have a temper."

Kara shrugged. "I know he didn't mean it."

Lee shook off her defense of his baby brother. "No, I taught him better than that."

"He was just angry. We met an old friend I had in Academy, and let's just say Karl started in on some of the wilder experiences we shared. Zak wasn't happy."

"The Major incident?"

Kara nodded. She wasn't surprised Lee knew about what happened between herself and Major Lake. He had been in the Academy at the same time she was, and it was the chief gossip for well over two months.

Lee's fingers brushed against soft skin, and he felt Kara wince. Looking down, he realized the cube was completely melted. "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Kara said, pulling away.

"Zak will come around, Kara. He loves you," Lee pointed out, wondering why Kara always seemed to end up ducking her head in shame whenever he was around.

"I know."

Sighing, Lee stood up and reached for his bag. "I think you're over the worst of it. You should be able to handle the rest of the recuperation on your own."

"Thanks," Kara said.

Lee was halfway to the door when he heard her call out his name. Turning, he saw a sight he found himself thinking of more and more these days. Kara was sitting on the kitchen stool, smirking at him in that way that said she knew something he didn't. "Yes?"

"What's in the bag, Adama?"

"Dinner," Lee said simply.

"Got enough for two?"

Lee shook his head and started walking back into the kitchen. If Kara wanted his company, who was he to refuse? Besides, maybe his presence would help kill the time before Zak realized what an idiot he was. When Lee was finished unpacking the bag of groceries, he chanced a glance over at her. She was smirking again like always.

"So seriously, Adama, how's life been treating you?"


	8. Eye

_For his twenty-fifth, twenty-eighth, twenty-ninth, thirty-second, thirty-third, and forty-fifth birthday, Kara's present to Lee was a big, black eye.

* * *

_

For his twenty-fifth, twenty-eighth, twenty-ninth, thirty-second, thirty-third, and forty-fifth birthday, Kara's present to Lee was a big, black eye.

Each one was different. Each one was given to him for a different reasoning.

The first came when he was at this shady little bar on Picon that Kara liked to think of as hers. She was having a particular bad day. Her nuggets had reached the point of rebellion when they started wondering what this brash, blonde woman knew that could do them any good. She was going to have to pull another all-nighter where she forced them to fly sims until they got it right. She was cranky. She was cranky and tired and honestly just wanted to drink her beer in peace before she went home.

That was why when a cute man came over to her and offered to buy her a drink she said no. Kara rarely said no to men that looked like that, but she could just tell that he was going to be a handful. Besides, she didn't want to deal with the stress of finding a way to get him out of her apartment in the morning.

He persisted, giving her some lame line about having a little brother in one of her classes, and she got mad. She asked him balls-out if he was trying to get her in bed, and the cute guy actually blushed. Kara smiled smugly. She knew she hadn't been wrong. The guy walked away, and she went back to her beer.

A few seconds later, she felt a hand on her arm. She reacted on instinct, swinging to take the punch. She felt good about knocking this guy down a few pegs until she saw he was clutching her jacket in his hand.

"It fell off your chair. I didn't want you to forget it," the man said, throwing it into her face. "Sorry. I shouldn't have bothered."

Once he was gone, Kara chuckled. That pissed off look on his face had been priceless. She would actually feel bad if he wasn't so obviously intoxicated.

To this day, Kara still maintained that she was right to hit him. After all, she didn't know he was _Lee_ then

His twenty-eighth and twenty-ninth birthdays, she would like to forget. Both times she had taken a swing at him because something he said hit home.

The first time he was calling her a slut in the middle of the hangar bay. She wouldn't even realize it was his birthday until she was on the surface of Caprica with too much time on her hands and no way to get home.

The second time they were on the surface of New Caprica. She was helping some of the civilians settle in to their new life, and Lee was planetside to talk with Laura Roslin about her school. As always, they started their conversation with pleasantries and that turned into an all-out fight.

The argument hit its climax when she threw out some comment about his fraking a Petty Officer. Lee told her that she needed to stop being jealous of how his life was going and start respecting that she wasn't the center of it anymore. Kara lashed out in anger, and the punch sealed her decision to leave Galactica. She couldn't be around Lee anymore.

His thirty-second birthday was rather quiet compared to others. Kara had offered to do whatever he wanted to celebrate so they ended up on Pegasus's observation deck, watching the stars.

Lee had waited for the right moment and then started talking. He told her that when he was younger, he had imagined how his life would go and it turned out nothing like that little child's dream. He talked about the girl of his dreams who he had planned on marrying. Kara knew immediately she was nothing like that woman. However, it wasn't until he started listing her faults that she gave in to the urge to lash out.

Lee hit the deck hard, and Kara took the time to tell him to frak off forever before she began stomping down the corridor. He caught up to her almost immediately and pushed her against the wall.

"Fraking let go of me, Adama."

"You didn't let me finish," Lee hissed, tightening his grip on her arms.

"I think you said all the important things."

"Not even close." Lee took a deep breath and began talking again. "How about I admire all those stupid faults _you_ think you have and that I'm glad my life didn't turn out like I expected? How about the fact that I am so crazy in love with you that it hurts? My life is more amazing than I could have ever imagined because you're a part of it, Kara." Lee threw up his hands. "I mean, frak me, Kara. I was going to ask you to marry me if you would have given me a chance!"

Her eyes had widened as her heart started pounding. Needless to say, she spent most of the afternoon kissing away his bruises.

Exactly one year later, she was giving birth to their son. Lee earned the punch that time. He was out on CAP when her water broke, and he almost missed the whole thing.

His forty-fifth birthday was the best day of his life. They finally found the thirteenth colony.

When Lee told Kara, she got mad almost immediately. He knew how much she wanted to settle down with their children, and he had promised not to tease her about how soft she had gotten. It was a cruel joke to be playing on her even if it was his birthday.

The punch made him hit the ground, and Lee started laughing. Kara could feel the anger slip away as she wondered when her husband had lost his mind.

"I'm glad to see some things aren't going to change now that the running for our lives thing is over."

It took Kara a second to figure out what he meant. "Oh frak. You were serious?"

Lee just kept on laughing. Life was good.


	9. Promise

"_I made a promise to myself when I stepped on this ship two years ago not to take advantage of your vulnerability," Lee whispered before pulling Kara into his arms with a laugh, "but you always said my word was worth shit, didn't you?"

* * *

_

Lee felt the Raptor shake as they made their approach to Galactica. Things had turned to chaos since the Battle of New Caprica. He barely had time to sleep, let alone think about visiting his father. There were so many changes to make. Every day he got a handful of new personnel that he had to either train or retrain. Pegasus had major repairs needing to be done to its shields and starboard launch. There were newly-manufactured ships to inspect and endless amounts of paperwork to sign. Not to mention his new temporary deck chief was three months pregnant and dying to find a replacement so she could get back to her husband and son on Galactica.

Then there was his favorite part, the nasty process of selecting a new XO to serve under him.

The day he told Dee that she wasn't really fit for the job anymore was one he didn't want to remember. Their argument was the worst one they had ever had. In retrospect, this was probably because it was the first time Lee told her nothing but the truth. Their quarrel ended with her flinging her wedding ring in his face and storming out of the room. Lee bent down to pick up the thin gold band and hated the fact that he knew the argument was only half-finished while Dee was still blissfully ignorant of the problem.

He would never forget the look on her face when she came back later that night to ask for her ring back and he refused. It was time to stop lying.

Lee heard the voice of Galactica's comms officer as they were cleared for landing and wondered where Dee had ended up. He had gotten word that she denied a transfer to Galactica, effectively resigning her post completely. Lee figured she probably found a nice job on one of the freighters or luxury ships, taking and transferring comm calls.

If he was being honest, he really didn't care where Dee ended up. That was how bad their last fight had been. There were things she said that she could never take back, no matter how much she pleaded that she loved him. They couldn't _just go back _even if Lee wanted to.

The Raptor entered the launch tunnel, and Lee sighed, glancing over at Racetrack. The Lieutenant had volunteered to pilot over to Pegasus and pick him up in her spare time. She had jokingly admitted that everyone missed seeing his pretty face over on the Bucket.

Lee let out a deep sigh and shut his eyes for what was probably going to be the last moment's peace he would get for a while. He had spoken with his father numerous times over the past few months as they ironed out the consequences of the mission to save their family on New Caprica. It started out with brisk exchanges of information on casualties and ways the other ship can help repair the damage, but that shifted. By the last few calls, they only spoke about official business for a few minutes before talking about the lives of those that had finally returned to the Fleet.

It had taken Lee five months to work up the courage to ask about her.

His father paused a moment before asking if Lee could clear his schedule to come to Galactica the next day. Like always, Lee's mind instantly shifted to the assumption that something was wrong, and he quickly agreed. He called in a few favors, and here he was with two full shifts of downtime.

Lee and his father both knew his reasons for staying on Pegasus for so long. Adama had been the one to warn Lee about how fragile Kara was right now. He hadn't gone into much detail, but Lee figured it had something to do with Anders. It seemed like since the day she returned from Caprica that second time, everything in Kara's life had to do with that ex-pyramid player

It had pained Lee to stay away, but he knew it was what she needed. Kara wanted her old life back, and she had to do it on her own terms. Plus, Lee didn't really fancy having to help her come up with a way to fit Sam into a life that wasn't made for married couples. He loved her, but even he had limits.

There was a slight hiss as the Raptor evened out pressure and pulled to a stop in the middle of Galactica's hangar bay.

This was it.

* * *

Kara bit her bottom lip as she waited patiently for the Raptor to finish docking. She had run all the way from her quarters to the hangar bay the second she heard they were on approach.

The Old Man had told her the night before that Lee was planning on making a visit to his old home, and Kara couldn't hold her smile in. Adama knew she had been trying so hard to get her old life back for the past five months she'd been on board Galactica. She started with the simple things: staking her claim on her old bunk, winning that Top Gun mug back from Kat fair and square, reasserting her authority at the triad tables.

Then there were the hard things. She spoke to William Adama about the emotions that had sent her to Caprica in the first place all those months ago. She apologized to Helo for telling him that Sharon was his own problem and she just wanted to move on with her life. She explained to Colonel Tigh that she was the one who always raided his alcohol stash when he was on shift in the CIC.

Still, none of those things were exceptionally hard when they were compared to facing up to what she had done to herself.

Kara had let herself be blinded by the desire to have a normal life, to love and be loved. She had let herself believe that the gods wanted her to be happy with Sam, and it had hurt her to realize she was wrong.

They had been married for two months when the Cylons occupied New Caprica. Kara had been so wrapped up with the plans to form the resistance that she didn't notice something was wrong until it was too late. She came home one day to find Leoben waiting for her. Like always, she hit first and asked questions later.

However, this time, the answers _did _come in time.

Anders had agreed to go to the work camps the toasters had set up. He explained how tired he was of fighting the Cylons. He figured this was the best option they had right now. Kara could feel her heart freeze up almost immediately and fought to keep herself from losing the contents of her stomach. She shut her eyes for a moment and when they opened, she was determined to show Sam how stupid he was being.

An hour of arguing later, Sam had packed up his things and left the tent but not before begging her to come with him. That had been what hurt the most. He had loved her for well over a year of his life, and he still couldn't understand that asking her to come with him to that camp was like asking her to go back to one of those farms. She would rather die.

When Galactica and Pegasus returned to fight for their freedom, Kara had fought hard to get her people to safety. She had personally evacuated a dozen of those work camps before the Cylons realized what was happening. They hit the thirteenth camp with all their fire power just as Kara and her team reached it.

It was only by chance that she came across Sam's body in the wreckage.

When she first came on board Galactica, she went straight to the Old Man. Adama sat with her for hours while she told him every little thing they had done wrong in their relationship. She told him of the regret she felt for pulling him off of Caprica and into this hellhole of a life, for giving up her wings to try to make a go of it, for not trying harder to get him to stay with her in the city. Adama told her that it was going to take time. Se would have the space to properly mourn the man she had married if she wanted to move past it. He assured her that no one was going to push her back into the life she had once lived unless that was what she wanted.

That night she decided she didn't need to be pushed. She _wanted_ that old life back, and she wanted it back now.

Adama helped her stay smart about it. She fixed the small things while she was still raw over losing her husband. Slowly the pain drifted away, and she tackled repairing the relationships she had broken by moving to the surface.

There was only one relationship left to repair, and if she was being honest, it was the most important.

She couldn't be Starbuck if she didn't have her Apollo at her side.

He was the one thing she missed the most when she was on New Caprica. She hated the way they had left things. Adama had been keeping her updated on how Lee was doing the past five months, and there were several times he had to deny her request to be transferred to Pegasus. He explained that having her on his son's ship wouldn't help ease Lee's burden even if she had developed an amazing talent at filling out paperwork.

It was odd. She was nervous. Kara Thrace was nervous about one man making a small trip to his father's ship in his spare time. She nervously played with the dog tags hanging around her neck.

A part of her wondered why Lee had stayed away for five months. She knew he was busy, but he was the commander of a battlestar. He could have ordered up a Raptor at any time, day or night, and been over here in a matter of minutes. No one would have looked twice.

He had stayed away for a reason, and something told her that reason was her.

Kara's stomach dropped out as the Raptor was moved into the hangar bay. She could feel her heart speed up and started bouncing on the balls of her feet to keep calm. She hoped to the gods that he didn't ignore her. She would take anything, a punch, a hug, a wicked glare, whatever. She needed something to cling to.

* * *

Racetrack smiled and pulled the headset out of her ear. "Word from Tyrol is you have a small welcoming party waiting for you, sir."

"Define small," Lee said as he got to his feet.

"One person," Racetrack replied. She knew she should probably tell Lee that it wasn't who he thought it was, but a girl had to get her fun wherever she could these days.

Lee nodded and gave her shoulder a pat as he pushed past her to the open ramp. He hadn't expected anyone but his father to meet him. After all, the Old Man was the only one who knew about this historic visit.

His eyes scanned the hangar. His father was nowhere to be seen. Lee felt the confusion set in and was about to ask Racetrack what the frak was going on when his eyes caught on the woman standing at the bottom of the ramp.

He felt his heart speed up as he finally saw it with his own eyes. Kara had made it through the destruction of New Caprica. She really was alive and well.

There was a vulnerability to the way she was standing there, staring at him. He had expected that. What he had not expected was the look of hope in her eyes. Her face light up in a smile he thought he would never see again, and he suddenly wondered if he had gotten it all wrong by staying away this long.

The memory of just how much he had missed her hit him like a brick wall. He glanced around the hangar bay to make sure no one was watching before taking the last few steps towards her. He knew that he should probably keep his distance. There had been reports of what the Cylons did to her on New Caprica, and he couldn't be sure how much that had damaged her.

Still, he needed this. He needed her.

Her smile widened as he let his eyes roam her face. "I made a promise to myself when I stepped on this ship two years ago not to take advantage of your vulnerability," Lee whispered before pulling Kara into his arms with a laugh, "but you always said my word was worth shit, didn't you?"

Kara didn't respond. She just tightened her arms around him and let him pick her right up off the floor. She gave Racetrack a small wink as the ECO walked down the ramp and then pushed the rest of the world away. From now, her world consisted of just her and Lee. Frak everything else. None of it mattered. All that mattered was Lee was here and he wasn't mad at her or ashamed of her or burdened by her.

"Why did you stay away so long?" she finally whispered in his ear.

Lee pulled back to give her a strange look. "You were settling in. I didn't want to burden you and Sam." Kara's face drained of color, and Lee wondered what he had done wrong.

"You… you haven't…" Kara's voice trailed off as she pulled away from his hold. Lee hated the way the sudden pain in her eyes looked so familiar. "No one told you?"

"Told me what?"

"Sam died on New Caprica."

Lee's eyes went wide as he realized how stupid he had been. His father had been hinting that things were different now that the Fleet was back together, that good people had lost the ones they loved, but until now Lee had just been too dense to realize his father was talking about Anders. He swore under his breath. Why had he thought forbidding anyone to speak to him about Kara or her pyramid husband was a smart idea? Why hadn't he thought to ask if Sam made it through the fight? "I'm sorry, Kara. I didn't know."

Kara nodded and, after a moment, seemed to recollect herself. "It's okay. Your father told me how busy you've been. I'm sure keeping up with the changes in my life wasn't your top priority."

"I should have known," Lee insisted.

"What would that have accomplished? You have your own life, Lee, and I have mine. We made that decision a long time ago."

"It was a stupid decision, one I wish I could take back."

Silence filled the gap between them, and Lee wondered how they could go from being so happy to see one another to reverting back to the awkward struggle of figuring out where to go next.

"How are you coping?" Lee finally asked.

"It hurt at first, but I'm doing okay now." Kara shrugged. "There was a lot that went wrong between us before he died."

"Will you tell me about it?"

Kara glanced around the hangar bay before nodding. "When we're alone." She let out a sigh. "Let's get the rest of the awkward topics out of the way. How's the wife?"

Now it was Lee's turn to look confused. Obviously he wasn't the only one to avoid certain aspects of Fleet gossip. "Dee and I haven't been married since the Fleet was reassembled. I don't even know where she is these days."

"What happened?"

"We had a nasty fight that kind of made some things clear."

"Like?"

Lee sighed. How could he explain this to Kara? "She said some things that made me realize I had never really known her."

They fell into silence again, and Lee decided he need to stop holding back on her.

"I could handle most of what she said about me because it was true. I didn't handle things the right way. But it was when she started attacking you that I realized whatever we had had was over."

"She attacked me?"

"She thought because you were back in the Fleet I was going to go running back to being… how did she put it again?" Lee smirked as he remembered his ex-wife's words. "Your bitch."

Kara burst out laughing immediately. "She didn't!"

"She did."

"Gods, I wish I had that kind of control over you."

"You do," Lee said softly, looking down at his hands. "The fact that you don't know it only makes it more true."

"I thought you hated me," Kara confessed.

Lee shook his head. "Not possible."

"But the way we said goodbye when I left for New Caprica…"

"I was an idiot."

"Oh."

"I miss you, Kara."

Kara felt her cheeks blush, and her eyes fell to the ground. "I miss you , too, Lee."

Lee waited for her to look back up at him before asking, "Do you think…"

"I honestly don't know," she whispered, "but I'd really like to try."

Lee nodded. That was good enough for him. "So, I heard the Old Man found a rather talented artist to paint him a new masterpiece for the walls of his office."

Kara's face filled with embarrassment. "I don't know if I'd say masterpiece."

Lee held out his hand to her. "Why don't you show it to me and I'll be the judge?"

She slid her hand into his and led the way to where they both knew the Old Man would be waiting.

They were far from being fixed, but it was definitely a start.


	10. Precious

_Lee's heart caught in his chest as he came off a long day in the CIC of his battlestar to find Kara tangled in the sheets of his bed just where he left her._

* * *

Lee's heart caught in his chest as he came off a long day in the CIC of his battlestar to find Kara tangled in the sheets of his bed just where he left her.

It had been a long day for her. The Admiral had assigned her the task of evaluating the crews of both Pegasus and Galactica in order to bring each ship to its optimal arrangement. She had spent over ten hours of ferrying herself from one ship to the other.

She almost walked straight into Lee a few hours earlier while she was trying to figure out if she had been down to the engine room on Pegasus or if it had been Galactica. Lee dropped the reports in his hand to keep her from falling down. She looked completely exhausted. Lee had watched her get progressively worse throughout the day, but he didn't realize how bad it had gotten until she asked him what he was doing on Galactica.

Lee wasn't sure how it happened, but after a few minutes of juggling questions and strange looks, he managed to lead Kara down to his quarters. He laid her down and told her that she was to take a break. She fought him at first, but Lee was insistent. He only had to sit on the edge of his bed for a few minutes before she was snoring away.

Smiling, Lee walked over to his desk and requested a line to Galactica Actual. He explained the situation to his father and told him that Kara would be spending the night over on Pegasus. She could resume her job in the morning. The Old Man didn't hesitate to agree.

Before leaving, he tucked the blankets around her body and leaned down to give the top of her head a kiss.

No one in the CIC even noticed he had stepped away for half an hour, and Lee tried to keep it that way. He didn't want to explain why Galactica's CAG was currently asleep in his bed. The crew would tease him to no end.

And _that _was the sole reason why he was standing in the door to his private quarters, watching Kara sleep. No one on the ship knew she was here so he had no choice but to gather a few blankets and spend the night on the couch. The crew would start talking if their Commander slept in some random quarters for a one night.

Lee was reaching into the dresser by his bed when his eyes caught on a pile of clothing on the floor. He bent down to confirm what he already knew. They were definitely the clothes of a woman, and there was only one woman who had access to his quarters these days.

"Frak me," Lee said, looking up to see he was right. Small glimpses of ivory skin peeked out at him from where the covers bunched up.

Kara Thrace was naked in his bed.

"Frak me," he repeated, standing up. He started to frantically search for those blankets. He needed to get out of here before he started wondering why she had taken off her clothes in the few hours he had left her alone. He was pretty sure she hadn't meant to do it, considering what a mess their relationship was right now.

"Lee?"

Her voice was hesitant, and that's what made Lee turn.

"Would you come to bed?"

Lee felt his whole body freeze up. Did she just ask him… oh frak. "Do you know where you are, Kara?" he asked hesitantly after a few tense moments of silence.

Kara's head popped up. She took a quick look at her surroundings before slamming her head back into the pillow. "I'm in your fraking quarters," she mumbled. "And I'm too tired to be arguing with you."

Lee sat down on the edge of the bed, and Kara shifted to mold her body against him almost immediately. It was like his body heat was a magnet to her. Lee placed a hand on her hip and leaned down close to her ear. "I think I'm going to go sleep on the couch."

She shifted and popped an eye open to look at him. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Because you decided at some point that you didn't need clothes to sleep."

"It got hot."

"I'm not judging," Lee laughed.

Kara twisted her body so that her back was against the mattress. Lee tried not to notice how low the sheet was drifting down. "I'm cold now."

"You're not wearing clothes. They're on the floor, by the way, should you wake up and want to put them on."

"No," she said.

Lee watched her look of determination slowly shift into a peaceful grin. She was asleep again. He let out a long sigh before getting to his feet. He tried to change into his sweats as quickly as possible, but his eyes kept drifting to Kara. She was teasing the hell out of him right now and she wasn't even conscious. That had to be a whole new level for her.

However it was only when Lee started wondering if he could feasibly tug down the sheet a little farther and get away with it that he knew he had to put some distance between himself and Kara. Lee chose to forget about blankets and simply threw himself down on the couch in his office. She was going to kill him in the morning.

He tossed and turned for an hour before he could even start thinking of sleep as an option. How Kara had worked him up so well without even trying was beyond him.

"Lee?"

Lee slowly opened one eye and saw Kara leaning against the doorway of his bedroom, the notorious sheet tucked tightly around her body. A feeling of gratitude passed through his body as he realized he must have finally fallen asleep. Then Kara narrowed her eyes at him and he realized the gods were still torturing him.

"Listen. I know you're trying to be all noble, but I am _naked_ in your _bed_, Lee. That did not magically happen. I am tired, but I'm not that tired. Now would you come to bed before I get really mad?"

Lee opened his other eye and watched her huff and turn back into his bedroom. It only took him a few seconds to leap off the couch and jog into his bedroom. Kara was already laying with her head on his pillow.

Lee slid his sweats off his body and glided across the bed to gather her in his arms. "I thought you were mad."

"I was," Kara whispered. She turned her head to brush a soft kiss across his chest. "Then I realized that being mad meant never again sneaking over here to spend the night with you. I kind of changed my mind."

Lee smiled and tightened his arms around her. "We're going to have to tell my father about this eventually."

"Yeah, but it's nice just having this to ourselves for a bit."

"Yeah," Lee sighed. "We should probably tell him before the wedding, though."

He could feel Kara's smile against his skin. "That's still on?"

"Come on. A little fight can't stop two people as stubborn as you and I."

Kara pushed herself up to lean across his body. Her hand dug around in the nightstand until she felt the small ring of metal. Smiling, she slipped it on her finger. "Let's tell him tomorrow. I want to start wearing this."

"Agreed."

Kara's face twisted in a large yawn as she snuggled back into his side. She rested her left hand against his chest, and her breathing naturally shifted to the rhythm of his heart. Lee loved it when she tuned herself into him.

The silence of his quarters was heavy, but it no longer weighed down on Lee. He could feel Kara drifting off to sleep again.

It wasn't long before he joined her.


	11. Attention

_"Attention on deck, the CAG has finally gotten the stick out of his ass," Kara screamed when Lee showed up at the annual strip triad game she set up._

* * *

"Attention on deck, the CAG has finally gotten the stick out of his ass," Kara screamed when Lee showed up at the annual strip triad game she set up.

Everyone burst out laughing at the comment, and it only got louder when they saw the annoyed look on their CAG's face. The group was small. Besides Kara, it was only Helo, Racetrack, Showboat, and Stinger. Things were tense now that the two battlestars were attempting to work together, and so Kara decided it was time to bring out her ace in the hole.

Showboat leaned over to Helo. "I thought this thing was by invitation only, Karl."

Helo gave her a look of disbelief. "Come on, 'Boat. If you think for one second Lee Adama wasn't the first person Starbuck invited to this thing, you're completely oblivious."

"Did I miss anything?" Lee asked as he sat down.

"Just Stinger and Showboat losing a couple of shoes to me," Kara answered.

Lee nodded and motioned to be dealt it. The room got silent as everyone focused in on their cards, but eventually Kara felt the need to break the silence. "I thought you had somewhere to be, Captain."

"This is more tempting than a night of performance reviews with the XO."

Kara winced. "I think playing this game with the boys from the galley is better than spending quality time with Tigh."

"They're not nearly as cute," Lee said, smiling to Racetrack who sat across from him.

Racetrack laughed and threw her cards down. "Damn Adama charm. I fold." She pulled off her sweatshirt and threw it into the pile on the table.

"Nice table cloth," Lee said, fingering the dingy red material as the rest of the players made their bests.

"It was going to be part of the museum," Kara said. "I figured it might help set the atmosphere."

Lee nodded and threw in a handful of cubits. "I call."

Everyone laid down there hands, and it was rather apparent that Starbuck had them again with four on a run. Groaning, a chorus of shoes hit the table. Kara's eyes kept hold of Lee's so she was the only one to see the small smirk on his face when he slid the top black tank off his body. She raised her eyebrow at him, and he only shrugged. Kara fought back the urge to tell Showboat _this _was why she invited the CAG to their game. He wasn't afraid to use the gifts the gods gave him to gain an advantage. One more bad hand and the other tank would be off. Then it would be fun to see if Showboat and Racetrack could keep their heads in the game. She would have no problem, of course, seeing as how she had become immune to Lee years earlier.

Okay, if she was being honest with herself, she was only partially immune. But that was more than others, right?

"We need to pour the CAG a drink and welcome him properly to this game," Helo pointed out, reaching for the bottle of ambrosia in the middle of the table. Stinger got up to grab an empty glass.

"Isn't it against colonial law for CAGs to drink?" Showboat teased.

Kara spoke at the same moment Lee did.

"He can handle it."

"I can handle it."

The table laughed again, and the next hand begun.

Ten hands later, Kara was ready to admit this was one of the better strip triad games she had played. It was too bad Stinger had gotten called back to the Pegasus after the third hand. He missed the fact that Racetrack was down to her bra and underwear, and Showboat was even worse off. She had been playing the last two hands with her bare chest pressed against Helo. She said that her breasts seemed to be distracting the boys so it was only fair she kept them hidden behind Helo until she really needed them.

Kara's eyes scanned the two men still at the table and decided the women didn't have it that bad, either. Helo had gotten a few bad hands in a row and was now leaning back in only his skivvies and socks. Kara found it hilarious that he refused to give up the socks because his feet were cold.

Her focus turned to Lee as he raised the stakes yet again. He seemed to be the only one keeping up with her. Still wearing his pants and both his socks, he matched Kara with her two tanks and underwear. Kara was pretty sure he had been going shot for shot with her, too, because every time he caught her staring he gave her a smile. A smile was not the look of worry she usually received.

The phone in the pilot's break room started ringing, and Kara threw in her own handful of cubits before going to answer. The table watched her growl a few words, and then the handset was slammed down.

"Something wrong, Starbuck?" Showboat asked.

"Yeah. That was Hot Dog. He says that word about our little game has gotten around to the XO. Tigh might be paying the bunkrooms a little visit to see who's not accounted for."

"Frak," Helo said, slamming down his cards. He grabbed his tanks from the middle of the table and slid them on before handing Racetrack hers.

"I know. It was just getting good," Racetrack laughed.

Showboat moved to retrieve her clothing. "I should be getting back to the Pegasus anyway. I think the last Raptor shuttle is leaving in a few minutes. It was a good game, Thrace."

"I don't know how to throw a bad one," Kara quipped. She gave the others a small wink as they stepped into the corridor before turning back to Lee. He hadn't moved. "Lee?"

"Let's finish the hand."

Kara's eyes went wide as a smile teased the corners of her mouth. She was happy to see Lee acting like his old self. She hadn't seen him smile since before the Blackbird incident. "Awfully cocky there. Think you have me beat?"

"I know I have you beat."

Kara slipped into the chair next to him and grabbed her cards. "Fine then. What are you planning on betting me seeing as you already have all your money in the pot?"

"You name it, Kara," Lee said. He honestly didn't care. Queens high yellow was one of the better hands in triad. She'd have to pull a miracle to beat it.

Kara watched her opponent for a moment as she tried to think what he had to offer her. Seeing as how he was the CAG and she was just the flight instructor, there wasn't a lot of things he could do for her professionally. And personally she felt like she was doing just fine on her own. There was only one real thing she took joy in these days, which was why she felt the urge to make him blush as it fought to overtake her sensibility. Or maybe that was just the ambrosia. "How about a kiss?"

Lee's eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's what you want from me?"

Kara let her eyes run over his bare chest before meeting his gaze. "At the moment."

"Fine," Lee agreed. He watched Kara throw the last of her cigars into the pile before laying down his cards. "Queens high yellow."

Kara let him sit there for a moment before letting out a laugh. "Full colors!" she squealed, slapping her cards down to do a little dance.

Lee's mouth dropped open. "That's not possible."

"Oh it is," Kara sang as she got to her feet to continue the victory dance. She was halfway through it when she felt Lee's hands around her waist. Before she could blink, he had yanked her down to sit on his lap. Kara yelped slightly as he shifted his knees to settle her in. His hands came up around her waist and stayed there.

It took her a moment to realize what he was doing and by then it was too late to tell him that he didn't really have to kiss her.

Kara had always thought of Lee as a good boy. He did what you asked of him and took his responsibilities very seriously. He was top of his class in both the Academy and War College. He was one of the youngest captains in the Fleet.

But a good boy _did not_ kiss like this.

She had expected a playful melding of lips, something that would make her giggle because she was Kara kissing Lee. She did not expect to feel his teeth lightly nibbling on her bottom lip until she opened her mouth to him. She did not expect the urge to run her fingers through his hair as the kiss turned a little more feral. It was like Lee was trying to consume every bit of who she was. A moan slipped from her lips as his tongue began a teasing dance with hers. It sounded dangerously like his name.

Just as Kara decided she was going to pass out from the heat between them, it was over. Lee pulled back from her but not before dropping a few, chaste kisses onto her now closed lips.

Smiling, he reached out to tuck a loose hair behind her ears. "Was that good enough for you, Kara?"

The sudden reminder that it had all been part of the hand she won made Kara snap back. Her back bumped the table, and she heard a small clatter as cubits hit the floor. "Frak," she hissed, dropping down to start picking them up. She could feel Lee's eyes firmly on her ass as she gathered the small pieces of metal. He was most definitely drunk if he was opening gawking at her, she decided. Her hands closed around a tank that had fallen along with the cubits, and she realized it was Lee's. "Put this back on," she growled, throwing it in his face.

Lee laughed but did as she asked. Kara had to be awfully drunk if she was still parading around the room in her tanks and skivvies now that the game was over. Not that he didn't appreciate her little lapse in memory.

Kara slid under the table to grab the last few cubits just as the hatch slid open. Her body froze as she heard the voice of the XO.

"Captain Adama, what do you think you are doing?"

"I'm off-shift, Colonel," Lee said calmly. "I was just unwinding a little."

"Did you forget the evaluations we are supposed to be doing?"

Kara slapped her hand over her mouth as she heard Lee lie and say he completely forgot. Giggling would not help the situation.

"Well, I have been working on them for hours now. There's only a few left and when one of your pilots mentioned you were down here, I figured I'd hand them over to you."

"Yes, sir."

"Now that I'm here though and see from the looks of this table that you've been playing triad and are probably extremely tired, I've decided to help you finish them."

Kara winced. She hoped to gods Lee could get through those evaluations fast. She did not want to be hiding under this table in her underwear all night. Her knee would start to cramp. Tigh and Lee started discussing what she could only assume was the paperwork he had been handed, but after only a minute, she heard the familiar sound of frustration in Tigh's voice. "Is there something wrong, Captain?"

"No, sir. Why do you ask?"

"You keep shifting around like you're uncomfortable or something."

Kara watched Lee's legs tense, and it was then that she finally saw the problem. Lee had gotten rather excited during the little kiss they shared, and now he has a rather big problem.

"I'm fine, sir," Lee insisted.

A deliciously wicked idea popped into Kara's head. She would have just shrugged it off if it wasn't accompanied with the realization that the kiss they had shared had benefited Lee just as much as Kara. That wasn't exactly fair.

Smiling to herself, Kara carefully moved to sit between Lee's feet. She slid her hands up the legs of his pants and stifled a giggle as she felt him tense. Her fingers slowly slid his zipper down, taking the time to really let him adjust to what she was about to do. When she heard a few stuttering noises from outside the tablecloth, she decided she might as well see how far she could push this. Reaching into his open fly, she pulled his cock into her hand. She could practically see his face as he fought the urge to scream at her. This was going to be oh so fun.

She waited until Tigh asked Lee his opinion on a particular pilot's aptitude before she leaned in to lightly lick the tip of his erection. She waited a second before continuing on down his shaft. His hand came down to push her head away, and she ducked to the right just in time.

"Captain?"

"I'm fine. The knee that got banged up when the Blackbird exploded has been acting up all day. It's making me twitchy."

_I'll give him twitchy_. She slid her hands around the base of his erection, making a circle with her thumb and index finger on both hands, and slowly pumped up and down a few times. This time she knew he wasn't going to push her away. He couldn't 'twitch' again for at least a few seconds.

Kara leaned her mouth in and let her breath hit his already hot skin. She could feel him tensing and wondered if maybe she was asking for more trouble than she could handle. Then again, Starbuck had never backed down from a challenge in her life.

Licking her lips, she started at the bottom of his shaft and began to lick upwards. She let her tongue take a leisurely inventory of his skin as her hands reached into his pants to cup his balls. A small hissing noise made her pause a second to smile.

"Another twitch?"

Kara didn't hear Lee respond so she could only assume he had nodded. She finished her teasing journey up and down the length of his cock. It was time to start the main event. She ran her tongue in a few small circles around the tip before taking it into her mouth.

Lee's knees jerked to hit the bottom of the table, and he did his best to cover it up. "How many more pilots do we have, Colonel?"

"Only two."

"And how long will that take?"

"Antsy to get somewhere?"

"I told you I was unwinding, sir. I was about to go hit my rack when you came in."

"We'll only be a few more minutes."

Kara heard Lee thank the gods under his breath, and she chuckled. The sensation made Lee's cock twitch slightly in her mouth, and Kara focused back on torturing him some more. She took the full length of him into her throat and wasn't surprised to feel his hand on her head again. What _did_ surprise her was the fact that his hand laced in her hair instead of pushing her away. She really didn't know how to take that, so she just sped up her rhythm.

"What about Shotgun?"

"I… um… I'm really not sure about his… landing abilities. The last time I talked with Captain Thrace, she said…" Lee's hand tightened on her head. "She thinks that a few more turns at it should iron out the last… um… kinks in his system."

"Kinks in his system?"

Kara could hear the suspicion in Tigh's tone and took the moment to suck her way slowly up his shaft. She could feel his knees begin to shake under where her hands lay and knew he didn't have much longer in him.

"It's a phrase the nuggets use," Lee spit out in answer to Tigh's question. Kara could practically hear his teeth grinding from her position down on her knees.

Tigh was halfway through this evaluation of the last pilot when Kara felt his cock swell in her mouth. Lee let out a loud groan that ended in something like "Oh gods my knee."

She pulled back a little and did her best to swallow as much of his orgasm as she could. She smiled as she realized Lee had managed to keep up the ruse about his knee even as he was coming into her mouth. Knowing she should probably just leave him alone, she shifted her mouth to lick the length of him, making sure he was clean before sliding him back into his pants. She watched his hand come down to check that he was covered before his finger turned up in an obscene gesture that told Kara she was in a little bit of trouble.

She pushed herself to the other end of the makeshift tent and tried to shake the haze from her head. She knew that she had had a little too much ambrosia, but that had never made her drop her guard like she just did. What was it about Lee that made her so vulnerable to fraking up?

Kara was still trying to figure out what came over her when she heard Tigh walk to the hatch and exit into the corridor. Lee's hands immediately came under the table to yank her out. "What the frak did you think you were doing?"

"I figured I'd return the kiss," Kara teased. She hoped putting on her Starbuck mask would keep Lee from strangling her.

"Kara," Lee warned. "That was out of line."

Kara narrowed her eyes at him. "Excuse me, Captain, but from where I was sitting, it looked like you enjoyed it."

Lee gave her an incredulous look. "Of course I enjoyed it."

"You enjoyed the kiss before it, too," Kara whispered. Her eyes dropped to the ground as the shame suddenly started kicking in. Why did Lee have the power to make her feel like a foolish little girl all the time?

Lee sighed. She had a point. He had started this little mess. "I did."

"So what's your problem, Lee? We're just two pilots looking to let off a little steam. It's nothing new."

"I don't know about that. The whole releasing steam while the XO's in the room has probably never been done before." Lee kept himself serious as long as possible, and then a giant smirk lit up his face.

Kara chuckled. "You've got me there."

Lee waited until Kara had gathered up her winnings before speaking again. "I wasn't lying when I said I was going to hit my bunk. I've got to fly CAP in six hours."

"Good call," Kara agreed. She was trying to figure out where the extra tank in the pot came from when she felt Lee's hand grab her wrist and push her back into the wall. Her eyes went wide as she watched him lower his mouth to her ear.

"You know, it doesn't really seem fair. The way things turned out, you'd think I won the pot."

Kara felt a smile creep up on her. "Really?"

"I'm thinking that I should do something to fix that."

"But you need to get your rest," Kara pointed out. She dropped her armful of cubits and cigars to wrap her arms around him as he nuzzled her neck.

"I've flown CAP before on no sleep. I can do it again," Lee whispered against her skin.

Kara felt a bolt of desire strike and had to hold on to him a little tighter. "You don't have to fly for six hours, Lee."

"Well you did have full colors. That should be rewarded." Lee pulled back to wink at her.

Kara hesitated a moment before pushing him away from her. She grabbed his hand and started dragging him down the corridor towards their bunkroom.

"What about your winnings?" Lee asked.

"I think I got the only thing I really wanted from that game," Kara said before shoving him into the bunkroom and slamming the hatch shut.

She loved how these annual strip triad games always turned out to pleasantly surprise her every year.


	12. Breaking

_The chaos on Cloud Nine faded out as he fell to the floor, bleeding from his shoulder, and as his eyes met hers, the only thing Lee could hear was the sound of everything they were breaking in two._

* * *

The chaos on Cloud Nine faded out as he fell to the floor, bleeding from his shoulder, and as his eyes met hers, the only thing Lee could hear was the sound of everything they were breaking in two.

He knew that everything he had ever known about them was gone.

Kara, on the other hand…

…it took her a long while to come to terms that this was the moment where everything changed.

She had never had an easy life, but she had one that she was content in. She was flying. The Old Man didn't hate her for all the mistakes she made. She had a few good friends in Karl and Lee. She had the small glimmer of hope that maybe someday if she was really lucky, she could go back to Caprica to rescue Anders. She was good at what she did and even managed to ignore how empty her life felt most mornings.

Then she got stupid. She had to play the hero and show Lee one more time that she could fix a problem when he could not.

The look of disappointment on his face haunted her every time she closed her eyes.

Kara wasn't sure how it happened at first. She was too busy hiding from her mistake to realize that she was losing one of the few men who actually understood her. One second Lee was there and then he was gone.

Months later, she finally got the courage to ask Adama what made Lee leave his whole life behind. She spent so long avoiding visiting him in sickbay and telling people she didn't want to talk about it that she missed knowing how it happened. Either that or she didn't want to admit he was actually gone.

Adama explained to her in his gently rough voice that the damage done to Lee's shoulder was too extensive for the medics to fix it. Lee was never going to fly again. Adama offered his son a job in the CIC, one that would keep him working with the pilots, but Lee made it clear that was not an option for him. The only thing keeping him in the military was the flying, and now that he lost that, there was no way he could stay.

Kara cut Adama off at that point. She thought she could handle knowing why Lee had left her, but it turned out she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face up to what she did, and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to the guilt. It was too familiar.

She chose instead to focus on the hopes she had for another man. A mission was approved by the President for her to return to Caprica, and there she found Anders, still alive and still very much infatuated with her. They returned back to the Fleet, and for a time, Kara forget. She forgot the pain. She forgot the guilt. She forgot Lee.

She thought about him briefly when the Fleet stumbled upon New Caprica, wondering if he was one of the ones that wanted to lay down their burdens. Then, they were on the move again. Laura Roslin won reelection and she was not going to stop until they found earth.

Her marriage with Anders faded out a few months back much to the surprise of everyone around them. They thought they were in love, but it turned out they weren't. Kara wasn't ashamed. A lot of the marriages in the Fleet were dissolving as the fear of the life they were living was finally accepted. People were scared, and they turned to others. It was only natural that when the fear went away so would the need to have another person depend on you. The last she had heard Sam was working on one of the Fleet's freighters. He was dating Barolay, and he seemed happy.

Kara felt a lot of things for Sam these days: glad, grateful, content. It was only at the most quiet moments when the loneliness crept in that she felt envious.

She missed Lee.

The Old Man seemed to understand without her having to say a word. She knew that he was still waiting for her to ask where Lee had gone when he left Galactica, but she held strong to her convictions. It was better off if she didn't know.

He had called her into his office a few days earlier to mention that her flying had been a little off lately. She blamed it on the stress of having to be both the flight instructor and CAG. She had given him all the predictable excuses that went along with it.

However, William Adama suspected there was more to it than that, and when he asked her what she needed to ease the burden, he got his answer. For just a brief moment, her eyes filled with the pain she usually kept tucked away. They both knew what she needed. She had excused herself from his presence almost immediately, explaining that she had to get her flight schedules and pilot evaluations done before she flew CAP. Really, she just didn't want the Old Man to see her cry.

Kara knew William Adama was not the type of man who would sit back and watch her make herself miserable. That was why when a second summons to his office came a few minutes earlier, it didn't take her by surprise. Knocking softly on the hatch, she waited for an answer and then stepped into the room. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Adama looked up from his papers and gestured for her to take a seat. He finished with the report he was reading over before looking up at her. "I think you're pushing yourself too hard, Kara."

"I think I'm doing just fine," she insisted.

"You need a break. Your marriage bans were just officially dissolved yesterday. You need to take a moment to get used to that."

Kara shook her head and stood up. "No thank you, sir. Now I need to finish planning for my class tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me."

"Sit down, Major."

Kara's eyes went wide as she sunk back into the chair. The Old Man never used her rank.

"You are going to take the pass I'm offering you, and you are going to go down to Cloud Nine. I want you to straighten out your head and don't come back until you do."

"But-"

"No buts," Adama cut her off. "You're going to collapse from all the pressure you keep putting on yourself, and I can't have that happen. You need to take pause and digest what's happened in the past year." Adama searched his desk for a pen and quickly scribbled something down onto an old flight report. "Helo told me that this bar offers free drinks to any of the enlisted pilots who make their way to Cloud Nine. Get it out of your system, Kara."

Kara bit her lip as she took the paper out of Adama's hands. "I'll do my best, sir," she whispered, standing up. When she got to the hatch, she paused and turned back to look at him. "Thank you."

Adama gave her a small nod and went back to his paperwork. He hoped to the gods she didn't hate him for what he had just done.

* * *

Kara checked the address that the Old Man wrote down for her, and confirming she was at the right place, pushed the door open. The noisy chaos hit her immediately, and Kara smiled. This felt familiar. A fleeting memory of her Academy days came to mind, but she quickly pushed it away. She was a different person back then, and she wasn't going to pretend she could ever be that woman again. Life was too hard.

She tried to keep a low profile as she pushed her way to the bar. If this was the place that handed out free drinks to pilots, there were probably a few faces here that she would recognize. Kara didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. She was tired of keeping up the façade of strength.

Kara smoothed down her t-shirt and jeans before sliding onto a barstool. Being in civilian clothes felt odd to her. It had been a long time. If it were up to her, she would never step out of her double tanks and cargos. The uniform gave her a kind of solace. They were something she could understand.

Kara sighed and ran her hand along the dark wood of the bar. The Old Man sent her here to expel her demons. She wasn't going to let him down.

While she waited patiently for a bartender to come over, her eyes started scanning the room. There was a group of friends laughing and joking around the dart board on the far wall. They looked too young to be in here. Then again it was the end of the world. Why not give a group of kids a little fun? A triad game was going on at the table by the door. Kara could hear the joking and ribbing from across the bar. She could remember when the games on Galactica had been like that. That was before all those things happened to make her life complicated. A young couple was quietly arguing with another in one of the bar's secluded corners. Kara could see the tension in the woman's shoulders. She was trying to hold back from punching the man she was with.

It all made Kara smile. The whole bar was overflowing with life in its purest sense. She had forgotten that things could be this simple.

"So what can I get you?"

Kara turned to smile at the bartender. Her eyes immediately fell to the obvious tattoo on the blond woman's arm. "You were a fan of the Panthers?"

"Best damn team on the Twelve Colonies. You?"

"Panthers," Kara confirmed.

"Too bad we can't get action like that anymore. When I heard that some pilot on Galactica rescued half of the Caprican Buccaneers, I had to keep myself from hunting her down and pounding the shit out of her for bringing home such a crappy team. Why couldn't she go to Picon or Aerelon and bring us back some champs?"

Kara felt the small moment of relief fade away as her real life came crashing back to the forefront. "Yeah, things probably would have been a lot easier if it hadn't been Caprica."

The bartender picked up on the shift and went back to professional mode. "What's your poison?"

"Got any Caprican ale?"

"It's our specialty," the woman insisted. She pushed open the cooler behind her and swore under her breath almost immediately. There was a few loud bangs and then the woman swiveled around to the open door behind her. "Hey, boss! We need more of the ale!" Standing up, she shrugged an apology to Kara. "It will only be a few minutes."

Kara nodded. She could wait.

Her attention turned back to the arguing couple in the corner. They had stopped screaming at one another. Kara watched the man brushed his hand against the woman's cheek before leaning to kiss the tip of her nose. It was just a small gesture of comfort, but it made her heart hurt. For some reason, her thoughts turned to Lee.

She wished she knew where he was.

Kara didn't realize she was no longer alone until she heard the soft thump of a bottle being set down on the bar. "Sorry about the wait. I had to bring it up from the cellar."

Kara turned to tell him it was no big deal when she recognized the voice. Looking up from the bottle on the bar, she realized she recognized the face, too.

"Hi, Kara," Lee said, smiling. He leaned on the bar waiting for her to say something, but she just sat there, staring at him with wide eyes and a open mouth. Her eyes roamed his face and then dropped down his body, leaving Lee feeling rather self-conscious. If he had known Kara was going to chose today of all days to visit, he would have worn something than an old white oxford shirt and his favorite pair of jeans. Forcing himself to get over it, he watched Kara's eyes lock with his. She looked sick. "Kara? Are you okay?"

Kara forced herself to bob her head up and down a few times. She continued to stare at Lee. He was here, in front of her eyes, the man she had been thinking about for so long.

It took the bartender's voice to finally snap her out of it. "Is everything okay, Lee?"

"Everything's fine, Lynn. This is my…" Lee's voice trailed off as he tried to think of what was the right thing to say. A smile played on the corner of his lips. "…Kara."

"This is your Kara?" Lynn said, her eyes going wide. She turned to look at the still shell-shocked Viper pilot. "I'm sorry. If I had know you were Kara, I would have cut that stupid Panthers talk and gotten you Lee right away."

Kara's eyes moved back to Lee. He was still smiling at her. She wasn't ready for this. "I… I have to go."

She pushed off the bar and began frantically shoving her way through the crowded bar. She wanted to get out of here. If she was out, then she would be safe. She could hate herself later.

"Kara!"

If Kara had turned at the sound of her name, she would have seen Lee jump over the bar and start running after her. She could have prepared for when his hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her to a stop. She would have been set to scream out all the reasons why he needed to let her walk out of this bar and his life.

And if she had been ready, she probably wouldn't have punched him.

The whole bar turned their way to see what happened as they heard the impact of flesh against flesh. Kara couldn't help but notice the look of concern on several women's faces. She wondered if any of them were Lee's girlfriend. Shaking her head, she decided it was none of her business.

Lee rubbed his jaw for a moment and regarded the rather broken looking woman in front of him. This wasn't the Kara he expected to walk into his bar one day. She was supposed to stride in here unapologetically and ask him where the frak he's been. She wasn't supposed to look so scared.

Lee was still staring at Kara when he realized the whole bar was watching him. "Don't worry, everyone. She's been doing that for years."

Kara's eyes widened and before she knew it, she was laughing. Lee was right. She had been hitting him like that since the day they met. It was part of what had always made them them. "I'm sorry," she apologized, taking a step forward to run her hand across his cheek. There was going to be a nasty bruise. "I just… I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Kara, you showed up in my bar."

"I didn't know it was yours. The Old Man…" Kara's voice faded off as she put two and two together. Adama had sent her here on purpose. Lee watched her face shift from vulnerable to infuriated within a half of a second.

"You don't have to stay," he said carefully after waiting a moment.

"No," Kara blurted out. A blush came to her face when she realized how eager that sounded. "I mean, I'm here. I should see how you've been living the past year."

"I've been doing pretty good," Lee admitted. "I built a relationship with the man who owned this place when I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do after the accident."

"Accident? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Lee let that comment go. He had a feeling pressing the issue would only make Kara want to run again. "O'Neill got tired of running the bar about a month after I first moved over here. He offered it to me, and the rest is history. This place has been really great for me the past year." His eyes drifted around the bar he loved, and he realized a lot of people were still watching him and Kara. "Why don't we go back to the bar? You can finish that bottle of ale I got you."

Kara nodded, and feeling Lee's hand on the small of her back, let him lead her through the crowd. Her eyes drifted around the actual bar this time rather than focusing on the patrons. It really was a nice bar. Where most of the things on Cloud Nine were hard metal and sickening gray paint, this place was made of real wood, the same rich color as the bar. It gave off the impression of being an oasis in the middle of the desert.

Lee pulled out a bar stool for her and patted it lightly before walking around the bar. He inched her ale toward her and smiled. "It's good to see you even if you didn't mean to be here."

Kara felt her face flush. That wasn't what she meant. "I do want to be here, Lee. It's just…"

"You weren't expecting to see me," Lee finished. He held her gaze for a moment before someone called out his name. "I'll be right back."

He was a few feet down the bar when he heard her call out his name amidst the chaos of the bar. When he turned back, she was smiling. It was the smile he always remembered.

"It's good to see you, too, Lee."

Lee winked at her and made his way down to see what the waitress wanted.

Kara couldn't believe the ease at which she settled with the idea of seeing Lee again. For the rest of the night, she found herself shifting back to a place she had thought she would never be. She was happy.

Kara was surprised at how fascinating it was just to watch Lee as he worked. He kept trying to have a real conversation with her the whole night, but he was always called away. Kara would be disappointed if he didn't keep pausing in the middle of the conversation to check to see if she was still there. He would give her that smile she had always loved. She had dubbed it the Lady Killer during one particular moment of wit. The second he resolved whatever problem was happening, he was back at Kara's side. He begged her for updates on every single pilot he had once led while he fed her more ale.

It took Kara a few hours to figure out why he was so desperate to talk with her. He thought she was going to be heading back to Galactica at the end of the night. He didn't know his father had told her to stay as long as she wanted. She was going to set him straight, but a tiny voice in the back of her head said that might make him stop paying attention to her. He kept leaning across the bar to lightly brush the hair from her eyes, and Kara was tipsy enough to admit she didn't want that to end. Sometimes he would come over and not say a word. He would just smile at her. And their hands kept touching as they both bent in closer to hear one another. That would stop if she told him she wanted to stay.

"Last call," Lynn yelled, pulling Kara away from her thoughts.

Kara's eyes went wide. She didn't realize it was that late. People started filtering out the door, and she suddenly felt very out of place. "I… I should probably go," Kara said to Lynn.

Lynn looked at the door to the backroom. Lee had left a few minutes earlier to start restocking the bar for the next night. He would definitely be pissed off if he came back to see Kara was gone. Lynn wasn't stupid. She knew her boss was totally and completely infatuated with this woman. For the months she had been working with Lee, she hadn't seen him look twice at any of the attractive women who threw themselves at him every hour on the hour. She was starting to believe the rumor that Lee wasn't into women.

Then she saw the way he was tonight and realized everyone had it completely wrong. Lee wasn't gay. He was in love.

Lynn grabbed her purse from underneath the bar. "Would you do me a favor, Kara?" Kara gave her a small nod. "Lock the door behind me. Lee's a little scared that this place is going to be robbed now that it's doing so well." Lynn had to laugh when she saw the confused look on her face. "Lee always said you were sharp, but frak, he must have been exaggerating. He would fire me if I let you sneak out without saying goodbye, so do me a favor and keep me employed. It was nice to meet you, Kara. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime."

Kara shrugged. She really wasn't sure she could promise that they would see each other again. She walked Lynn to the door and snapped the lock shut behind her. For the first time, it finally dawned on her where she was and what she was doing. This was a lot easier than she thought. She had pictured screaming and fighting when she and Lee finally ran into each other again. This return to friendship was a pleasant surprise.

She was just sitting back onto the barstool when she heard Lee swear and watched him come tearing into the bar. His eyes went straight to the door, and he started swearing again.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

Lee twisted to look at her, and if she didn't know better, she would say there was relief in his eyes. "Nope. I just lost track of time."

Kara nodded. "Lynn finished up for you, I guess. She's a nice girl, Lee. I approve."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lee asked as he took a seat on the stool next to her.

"Well, I assumed…" Kara's voice trailed off as she realized she may have been completely off.

"You assumed?"

"She seems really fond of you."

"She should be. She was practically homeless when I met her." Lee watched Kara fidget for a moment before laughing and punching her arm lightly. "That and I introduced her to the guy I was sharing an apartment with. They're getting married at the equinox."

Kara flinched as she realized how wrong she was and how Lee completely knew it.

"So what now?" Lee said after a moment.

Kara's eyes scanned the bar. This was Lee's home. This was the place he loved. She knew next to nothing about it. "Show me around?"

Lee grinned and grabbed her hand. He started with the back room and the cellar where he kept the overstock. Kara asked questions in all the right places as he told her the bare bones of how he ran a bar. She wanted to laugh at how excited he got when he was talking. It reminded her of the way she felt when she was flying.

Next, he pulled her back to the bar. "I've seen this already," Kara teased him.

"You haven't seen what I'm about to show you." Lee grabbed her hand and yanked her behind the bar.

"It looks like the back of a bar. I hate to break it to you, Lee, but I've seen the back of a bar before."

Lee rolled his eyes. Kara had always been too damn literal. "Just hold on a second."

Kara watched as Lee pulled a chilled glass from the cooler in front of him and then filled it with one of the beers on tap. He held the glass out to her. "Try it."

Kara lifted the glass to her lips and swallowed. "Frak me, Lee. What is that stuff?"

"Good?"

"Better than a lot of the stuff I used to drink on Caprica." Kara looked at the glass. "Where'd you get it?"

"I made it. It took me months to figure out the recipe, but now that it has your approval, I think I'm ready to start selling it." Lee grabbed another glass and poured himself his own drink. He took a large gulp and smiled. "That's about right. It took me forever to get the right blend."

"It tastes familiar," Kara said, taking another sip.

"It should. There's a little bit of Picon whiskey in it. I wasn't sure if it was going to mix well with the hops, but it seems to have taken." Lee shook his head. "But that was nothing compared to how hard it was to get the oak and vanilla flavors into it. Oak chips are not easy to find these days. I had to commission one of the food freighters to create a few fast-growing trees. They're planted out back now."

"Why oak and vanilla?"

Lee's smile widened. "That's simple. I was trying to capture the essence of my inspiration for the beer. It haunted me every single time I closed my eyes until I figured out what that was."

"Someone inspired you to create a beer? What kind of person would do that?" Lee waited patiently for Kara to put two and two together, and he watched her eyes go wide when it finally happened. "Picon whiskey was my drink of choice back in Academy."

Lee nodded. "And you always liked climbing those oak trees in the commons after a hard day of teaching. It was the outdoorsy side of you."

"What about the vanilla?"

"Your skin smells like vanilla," Lee said, shrugging his shoulders. "It would be stupid to ignore that."

Kara felt herself blushing and wondered what it said about her that she felt touched to have a beer created in her vision. Lee's hand came out to take the glass away from her. "Do you want to see my favorite part of this place?"

Kara nodded and followed him slowly to a booth in the back corner. For a second, she wasn't sure what she was looking at, and then she saw it. Something pulled at her heart as she realized one of the walls was covered with dog tags. "You kept them all."

"I couldn't bear to flush them out the airlock," Lee explained. "I knew if I did, then they would be forgotten. I couldn't let that happen."

Kara's hand reached out to touch a couple. The names were familiar.

"I keep this booth open for the pilots when they get leave. Most of my staff knows to just start serving drinks if someone takes a seat."

"So the Old Man wasn't lying when he said this was a bar that served free booze to pilots."

"It's the least I can do for them. All I ask if that they bring something to add to the wall. That's what the rest of this is." Lee pointed to a section of the wall, and Kara took a closer look. The names of all the Fleet's current Viper pilots were listed along with their kill totals. "Gaeta sends me the tallys, and I let him bring his dates in here to drink and eat for free."

Kara smiled. That sounded like Gaeta. Shaking her head, her eyes scanned over the rest of the booth, and she realized there were quite a few things she recognized besides her own kill count.

There was a helmet sitting in the middle of the table. It had a sloppy number 1000 painted on with red touch-up. Kara smiled to herself. She could remember the day she and Lee painted that for Flattop.

There was a few triad cards pinned up to the wall. They looked like they were about to fall apart, and Kara suddenly remember Racetrack asking if she could take the old cards that had gotten too dog eared.

Her eyes narrowed as she recognized a certain sports bra taped to the wall. She had thought she lost that a few months back. Lee followed her line of sight and laughed. "That was Helo's contribution last time he came down. He said as long as you never visited here, he was safe."

"Get my bra off the fraking wall, Adama," Kara said, turning to glare at him.

"It will be down by the morning." The sound of the phone behind the bar ringing broke into the little bubble they had created, and Lee sighed. "I'll just grab that real quick. Don't go anywhere."

Kara nodded. After a few minutes, when it was clear that Lee wasn't going to be real quick, she started wandering the bar again. It really was magnificent. Her eyes fell on a door at the end of the bar, and she realized Lee hadn't told her what was behind it. Reaching out, she turned the door knob. It was locked.

"Sorry that took so long," Lee apologized as he jogged over to her side.

"Not a problem," Kara said, still staring at the door. "What's in there?"

Lee gave her a smile and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a key, he tossed it to her. "That's my home. Go ahead."

"You live above the bar?"

"It makes things easier."

Kara slid the key into the lock, and it made a satisfying click. A small hint of fear hit the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it away. She had nothing to be worried about. Lee was just being polite. That's why he didn't offer to show her his home until she asked. She hope to the gods she wasn't intruding.

Lee's home was not how she had imagined it. She had always figured he'd be the type of guy who maintained a sleek, smooth bachelor's pad complete with black satin sheets and smooth metal furniture. The small loft apartment was not what she expected. The simplicity of it reminded her of her old place in Delphi.

"Wow," Kara said, smiling at Lee over her shoulder. "I can see why you live over the bar. This place is perfect."

"It's perfect for what my life is at the moment," Lee corrected.

"And what is your life at the moment?"

"Centered around work. I haven't really had time for anything else. I guess I do now that the bar's starting to make a profit, but I can't think of one thing to do."

"You'll come up with something," Kara assured him. "How's everything else going for you?"

Lee shrugged. "There's really not much else."

"Nothing?" Kara said, her face lighting up in confusion. She had really expected him to start talking about his relationship with Dee. The last time she had checked, Dee was spending as much time as possible off ship. Kara had always figured she was seeing Lee wherever he was.

"Not much time for a personal life when you're trying to come up with a reason to wake up each morning."

Kara moved over to the window by the bed and waited a moment before softly asking, "And did you find it?"

"In a way." Lee let out a sigh. "It was hard at first. I had to let go of the hope that I could get my old life back. That's what made me leave Galactica. I couldn't stay in that place. Everything I was was defined by my flying or my relationship with my father. I had to figure out a way to define myself, and that meant cutting ties. Some hurt more than others."

The word fell from Kara's mouth before she could stop it. "You mean Dee?"

Lee shook his head. "It was actually easy to say goodbye to Dee. Our relationship was only starting, and even then it wasn't very healthy. I see her from time to time now, and she seems happy. She's dating one of the engineers working on the space park. They stay on Cloud Nine a lot."

Kara turned to look at Lee and smiled, even though she knew it was kind of mean to get pleasure in the downfall of Lee's relationship. "Then who did it hurt to say goodbye, too? I know for a fact that you still talk to the Old Man."

Lee's smile faded. His face shifted into the serious look Kara had thought she would never see again. "If you have to ask me that question, then you really haven't been paying attention the last few years."

Kara felt her face redden. Why was she always shoving her foot in her mouth when it came to talking to Lee? She looked like a complete fool. Biting her lip, she twisted to look out the window again. She heard Lee walk into the living area and start rattling things around, and a small sense of relief washed over her. It was always easier to think when there was some distance between them.

"How have things been for you, Kara?" he asked from across the room. "How's Sam doing?"

Her eyes fell down to her ring finger almost by habit. It was still odd to see the small silver band that was missing. "Sam's doing fine," she said. "I think he's about to get engaged to be married."

Lee's rattling stopped cold. "What did you just say?"

Kara kept her eyes glued to the window. She had been dreading this moment. She always had such a hard time explaining her decisions to Lee. "Our marriage didn't work out. It wasn't anything I planned, but you know how I am. I do things impulsively. I forget to think about how things are going to be down the line, and then when it gets to be down the line, I have to deal with the fallout. Sam and I realized the comfort we were offering each other had nothing to do with love. Granted, I loved him. I still do in a way. But it wasn't fair to either one of us. Sam was miserable, being stuck on a battlestar. I was on CAP or doing schedules and other CAG things most of the time. When I did see him, we usually fought. I couldn't let him be miserable just because he felt some sort of obligation. So, I set him free."

"What do you mean set him free?"

Kara stiffened. She hadn't heard Lee moving until his voice was right in her ear. She gripped the window sill a little harder. "I mean, we had our marriage bans dissolved. It was official as of yesterday."

She hadn't known what his reaction would be. A part of her hoped he would be happy. A part of her knew he probably wouldn't care. Still, when his hands gripped her arms to turn her body, she didn't expect what she got.

Lee pushed her back against the wall and leaned in to brush his lips roughly against hers. There was a moment of hesitation and then a groan escaped as his tongue teased her bottom lip until she opened herself to him. She barely had time to react.

His kiss was a weird mixture of tenderness and aggression. One second she felt like her knees were going to give out and the next she felt like her heart was breaking. It settled into a small tingle in her stomach, mixing in with all the desire, as his hands came around her back. She could feel the heat radiating onto her skin from the gentle pressure of his fingertips and wondered why she wasn't pushing him away. She knew how this dance went. She was supposed to be fighting this.

Eventually, Lee had to pull back if only to breathe. His hands stayed locked around her body, keeping her pinned to the wall, as he leaned the side of his head against hers. "Why the frak didn't you tell me that right away?"

"What?" Kara said, still trying to push through the haze of having just been kissed by the man she cared for the most.

"I wouldn't have kept my distance if I knew I had a chance."

Kara fought to keep herself in control. There was no way that meant what she thought it did. This was Lee. He had happily lived his life for twelve months without her. He didn't stay away just because she was with Sam. He stayed away because she had almost killed him.

Lee leaned in to kiss her again, and he was suddenly glad there was no excuse she could throw at him to stop this. There were no regulations or ranks keeping them apart now that he quit the military, and if she wanted him to check his feelings at the door, he would do it. He made the mistake of wanting more than she was willing to give once. He was not going to do it again. Right now, he was willing to take her any way he could get her.

His hands reached down to play with the hem of her t-shirt and the soft skin that was hidden underneath. He could feel her trembling against him and wondered why she was still fighting this. Hadn't he made it clear that he had been waiting a long time to get this opportunity?

"Lee, please." Kara hated how vulnerable her voice sounded.

"Please what?" Lee's hands grasped her t-shirt and slowly pulled it up over her head. He had wanted to do that for years. He threw it to the side and gave her a teasing smile. "Please stop or please keep convincing me?"

Kara shut her eyes for a moment to try and get her focus back. She tried to remember the reason why she wanted him to stop, but nothing was coming. Lee leaned in to nibble on her earlobe, and she felt her whole body quiver. This had to stop now before it got out of control. Lee had a good life, one he had worked hard to establish. She wasn't going to frak that up for him again. "Please let me go," she whispered, even though it broke her heart.

Lee could hear the panic in her voice, and it scared him. His hands dropped away from her hips, forcing Kara to grab the wall to keep from falling down. Her knees had given out a long time ago.

She forced her eyes to open. Lee had taken a few steps back from where she stood. The expression on his face made tears come to her eyes. She hadn't meant to hurt him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just… I need to clear my head, and I can't do it when you're touching me like that." She waited until she felt the strength come back to her legs. The weight of Lee's eyes pressed down on her body, and it was all too much. "I… I shouldn't have come here," she blurted out, pushing past him. She was almost at the door when she heard him call out her name.

He was standing in the middle of the floor, staring at her with that familiar look of pain on his face. The last time she had seen it was right after she slapped him for pointing out the truth. She hated that she could still do this to him.

"I really did miss you," Lee whispered, giving her a small shrug of the shoulders. He wished he could explain to her just how much, but there weren't words big enough to describe it.

Kara felt her heart rip completely out of her chest as Lee sank down onto the bed. She always managed to hurt this unbelievably perfect man without even trying. She hated how she had sworn she was going to let him go, and yet at the first chance she was scrambling to take another piece of his soul. The tears were stinging her eyes as she tried to think of what she could say to make him hurt a little less. That's all she really wanted to do. Lee deserved the chance to hurt less.

"I want to stay," she said quietly, knowing this wasn't going to fix anything but it was the only thing she had to offer him right now. She wondered if she would hate herself in the morning for not being strong enough.

Lee closed the distance between them before she could think to take it back. "Then stay, Kara."

"This can't-"

Lee's finger came up to press her lips shut. "I want you to stay."

Their eyes stayed locked for what felt like an eternity before Kara's gaze softened. She had made her decision. Let the gods damn her. She didn't care. She was going to have the memory of this moment for the rest of her life. When it was over, she would do whatever Lee wanted. If he wanted her out of his life, she would go. If he wanted her to st-

Kara stopped herself before she could finish that thought. Lee wasn't going to want her to stay, not after she destroyed his life. Sure, he might miss her now, but after a few hours, they'd be back to their old fighting ways and he'd want her gone.

Still, that gave her a few hours, and right now she would take anything she could get.

"I'll stay," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile.

"Good," Lee whispered.

Kara's fingers reached out to begin unbuttoning his shirt. She slid her hands up along the muscles of his chest before pushing the shirt to the ground. Lee didn't take his eyes off of her. She smiled at him and cupped his cheek before drawing him into a slow, sensual kiss.

Without a word, Lee picked her up off the ground and carried her to the bed. Their lips never broke contact. Setting her down gently, he stood back and watched as Kara slid the jeans off her body. There were no words between them. There didn't have to be.

It took all of his concentration to keep himself in check. It had been twelve months since he was this close to Kara's body, and he had forgotten the things it could do to him. The sudden urge to take her hard and fast ate him up inside, but he knew that would be a mistake. Hard and fast was not how he was going to prove she should stay here with him.

Kara propped herself up on her elbows when she caught Lee staring at her and beckoned him closer with a finger. He didn't hesitate. Kara was giving him an opening, and odds are this was the only chance he was going to get. He had to prove to himself that he wasn't crazy to think there was something between them. If that was the only thing he was left with when this was over, that would be enough.

Kara tried to stop her shaking fingers as she reached down to unbutton his fly. She hated that she knew this was wrong and yet she couldn't stop it if she tried. This collision was inevitable. She should have realized that from the start.

As his mouth came down to nibble on the curve of her neck, she fought the urge to let the tears start falling again. For the first time, she was determined not to delude herself. She had hurt Lee too many times for this to amount to more than a good lay. He had missed her, and he just wanted to show her how much in the only way he thought she would understand. It was nothing more than that.

Once upon a time, that had been _exactly _what she wanted. The lack of emotion appealed to her, especially when it came to the only man who could destroy here with one small look. It was easier not to feel when it came to Lee. If she didn't feel, then she didn't risk losing control.

Now she didn't know what she wanted. So much had changed in the past twelve months, and yet one thing stayed the same. This feeling she had for Lee refused to go away. She couldn't let it go.

"You're thinking too much," Lee leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I'm going to have to do something about that."

Kara bit her lip as his hands started traveling down her body, and she decided he was right. It was time to stop thinking. Her fingers gripped his jeans, and she yanked them down off his hips, making sure to take his boxers with them. He moved away only long enough to finish the job, and then he was pulling her body up to meet his. His hands slid away her back to unhook the clasp of her bra as his hips unconsciously bucked against hers. She could feel his erection pressing into her and wondered if she would make it much farther. She had been worked up to the point of breaking from practically the first minute she saw him earlier that night.

Lee's gaze dropped to her breasts, and Kara fought the urge to cover herself. She hated how he always made her feel self-conscious. No one ever did that except for Lee. Pushing her own self-doubt away, she tilted Lee's chin up and laid a soft kiss on his lips. She could feel him smiling against her. His hands came up to cup her breasts, and she bit back a moan. He broke away from her kiss to lay a trail down her body until his lips met his fingers. It surprised her when she felt his teeth cut into her flesh. He was marking her. His tongue darted out to sooth the pain immediately.

"Lee." His name came out more like a plea than a warning.

Lee looked up and gave her one of his devilish smiles. He skimmed his hands across her stomach and hooked both sides of her panties with his fingers. "You know, I'm a huge fan of civilian underwear, but I kind of miss the military issue briefs."

Kara felt herself blush. She had experienced first hand that particular fascination. She could still feel where his hand had grazed her backside as he teased her skivvies down a few precious inches at a time.

Lee took Kara's momentary distraction to slid his hand inside the satin cloth still covering her. She was already wet for him. It was the confirmation he needed to know he was not alone in this. She wanted it, too. Winking, he moved his hand away to slid the panties down her legs at a snail's pace. He had waited too long for this not to make sure they both enjoyed every second of it.

Flinging the little scrap of material away, he pushed her flat against the mattress. Kara spread her legs for him in invitation, but Lee shook his head. "I want to look at you first."

Kara's stomach jumped as Lee scooted away from her. She could feel his eyes burning every inch of her skin as he looked his fill. When his tongue darted out to moisten his lips, she felt a familiar voice in the back of her head, one that had been silent for over a year now. The urge to tease Lee was something she had missed.

She didn't get the opportunity, though. Lee was already in motion, pushing his body down on top of her. His knee pushed her legs apart a few more inches and then he was sliding into her. He wished he could give her more attention before seeking out his own pleasure, but he was already too on edge. He wouldn't last long.

Kara tightened herself around him and started moving her hips in time to his motions. "Oh gods, Lee," she hissed as he somehow managed to go a little deeper. This was not how she imagined this. She expected this to be hot and hard, a way to finally get the release they had been denying themselves. It was supposed to numb her to the pain of knowing she was going to have to leave Lee as soon as he finished. She wasn't supposed to feel so much.

Lee smiled and leaned down to kiss her lightly as her hands came up to grip his backside. She softly urged him to go faster, and he couldn't help but comply. Kara's mouth slid open in a silent moan as he lifted one of her knees to change the angle. It only took a few more strokes for her to break.

Lee bit down hard on the inside of his mouth as he concentrated on keeping control. He was enjoying seeing the effect he had on her. He didn't want this to end yet. Ending meant she was going to run away from him. She always did.

Kara could still feel Lee plunging himself inside of her as she came down from her orgasm and decided that couldn't be fair. "My turn," she whispered and twisted their bodies so that she was on top. She leaned her body down just enough so that the tips of her breast brushed against his chest and then she sunk herself down on his cock. Her lips made a soft trail across his chest as she set the slow pace of breaking contact completely only to drive herself down on him again. Kara let her kisses linger on the small puckered scar from where he had been shot. It was still trying to heal. Pushing the guilt to the side, she tightened her muscles around him until she finally felt him lose that last bit of control. She was so focused on the man below her that when her own orgasm slammed into her, she was taken by surprise. It was all too much for her, and she could feel herself finally crack.

As he came down from the high she had just driven him to, Lee felt a small wetness on his chest and opened his eyes to see that Kara was crying. Her motions had stopped completely. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Lee," Kara whispered. Her lips moved to kiss the small scar again, almost as if she could heal it with her touch alone. "I didn't mean to frak everything up for you."

Lee felt his heart constrict as it suddenly dawned on him that she was still kissing his scar. "You don't honestly blame yourself for that, do you?"

"I shot you, Lee. It was my fault."

"What happened that day was an accident. More than that, it could have happened to any one of us. Frak, I could have easily been the one that shot _you_."

Kara shook her head and slid her body off of Lee's. He was wrong. She had almost killed him, and she needed to remember that.

She was no good for him.

Kara was moving to leave the bed and get dressed when she felt Lee's hand grab her wrist. He yanked her back to his side and used his weight to hold her there. He leaned in to kiss her gently before pulling back to whisper, "If you want to blame yourself, fine, go ahead and blame yourself., but I'm not going to do it. You did nothing wrong, Kara." Since that was the last word Lee wanted to hear about this particular topic, he went back to kissing Kara to within an inch of her life and he only stopped when he was deep inside her and she was calling out his name. He was willing to do this all night if it made her let go of that stupid guilt.

It only took him lavishing one full hour of attention on making her come over and over again to finally exhaust her. When she slipped off to sleep, he tucked her into his side and drew the covers around their bodies. This felt right.

His last thought before falling asleep was he hoped to the gods she was there in the morning. There was a lot he still had to say to her.

* * *

Sleep still tickled at the edge of Kara's mind when she finally woke up the following morning. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and when she did, her hand reached out to the other side of the bed to hit dead air. She couldn't hide the disappointment of realizing she was correct.

Lee had a business to run. His life didn't include making sure she was all right anymore. He had other worries.

The morning sunlight reflected in through the windows to warm the floor, and when Kara's feet touched the hardwood, she couldn't help but smile. This actually felt real to her. This whole place, Lee's whole life, felt real. She was glad he could finally find that.

The first thing Kara did was look around to find her clothes on the floor. She came across Lee's white oxford but nothing of hers. Sighing, she figured she'd just have to wear the shirt until Lee told her what she could wear. She was pretty sure he wouldn't mind.

Kara took one last look around the apartment before she pulled open the door to the downstairs. Her bare feet made no sound on the wood floors of the bar, and Kara fought the urge to imagine what it would be like to do this every morning.

There was a loud bang from the back room, and Kara froze. Someone was here. She heard a loud swear and relaxed as she recognized the voice of the man she had just spent the night with. Of course it was only Lee. This was his bar, and it was only seven o'clock, way too early to actually be open for business.

Lee looked up as the door pushed open and his heart froze. Kara was standing in front of him looking like most sinful thing he had ever seen. She had his shirt on but had only bothered to do up a few of the buttons. Ivory skin was peeking out at him from every direction. Taking a deep breath, Lee tried to calm himself. Attacking her wasn't going to help him right now.

"I'm making breakfast," he said after a moment. "I thought you might be hungry."

Kara's hand came up to her stomach. "I am."

"Good. Go sit down and relax. It'll be done in a few minutes."

Kara gave a small nod and tiptoed out of the room as quickly as she came. Once the door had slammed shut behind her, she closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. She had every right to be scared about what was going to happen now that she had given in to her desire, but Lee could have at least had some tact. He should have known better than to try to cook her breakfast wearing only a pair of sweats. She had been in that kitchen for maybe thirty seconds, and she had already come up with half of a dozen creative uses for that pancake batter, none of which were appropriate.

Pushing down her anxiety, Kara walked over to the pilots' booth. She hadn't taken that close of a look the night before. She was too focused on Lee. Now would probably be a good time to see if anyone else had donated her undergarments to the cause.

"Speaking of," Kara mumbled. Her eyes went to the spot where her sports bra had been hanging the night before, and she grinned when she saw the space was now vacant. Lee had promised her, hadn't he?

Satisfied, Kara inched forward to take a closer look at the pilots' tallies. She smiled to see Lee had taken the time to grow a sense of humor over the past year. There was a small Raider next to her name, but it wasn't crossed out like all the others. Instead, Lee had drawn a little dog leash on it and written the word goat across its wing. Kara had totally forgotten he knew that story.

There were a lot of other interesting details in addition to her Raider which she hadn't noticed the day before.

Next to Kat's name was half of a Raider with the label Scar. It took Kara a few seconds to find the other half of the ship under her own name. It seemed Lee was one of the few people who understood how the killing of Scar had actually played out.

There were a few kills next to Sharon's name and then a quick scribble of the image of a toaster.

Kara ran her hand over Lee's tally. She could just imagine how hard it had been to decide if he should put his own kills up on the wall. He wasn't a part of that life anymore. She traced the picture of the tylium refinery before moving on to the Blackbird. She could remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the day her heart broke without her even knowing.

Kara's focus drifted away from the kill tallies to the pieces of memorabilia tacked to the wall. There was a photo of a few of the pilots dancing on Colonial Day and one of them working on the Blackbird. Next to those were three uniform patches for Atlantia, Galactica, and Pegasus.

Her eyes caught on a videotape above the patches. It was labeled never to be played again. She didn't have to think twice to know that was a copy of D'anna Biers' expose on Galactica. Lee hated what that documentary had done to his image. Girls now _openly_ swooned for him.

The last thing Kara had to look at was also the most understated. In the middle of all the funny memories and private memorials was a small framed picture, the only one to be given this special treatment. In it she and Lee were arguing over something underneath a Viper. Only their feet and hands were visible, but she knew it was them. Kara couldn't remember what day it was taken or why she had been arguing with Lee. All she knew was it made her smile.

She heard the sound of the kitchen door open and turned to see Lee coming towards her with two plates in hand. She waited until he set the food down before asking, "Who donated that one?"

Lee smiled when he saw the photo she was pointing at. "That was my contribution. The pilots thought that I should start it off and they told me to do something that involved what I liked most about being stranded on the Bucket."

"And you chose fixing a Viper?"

Lee shook his head. Kara was so delightfully clueless sometimes. "I chose spending time with you."

Kara tried to fight down the smile that was threatening to erupt and managed to turn it into a rather odd looking scowl. She picked up a fork off the table and started digging into her breakfast before Lee could ask he what that was all about.

They ate in comfortable silence, and Kara found herself relaxing for the first time in months. The Old Man had been right about everything. Not only did she need a break, she needed to see Lee. Hearing that he held no grudge against her had already begun the healing process. She was starting to think giving up her guilt was a possibility.

"And the sex wasn't that bad either," Kara mumbled to herself with a smile.

"What'd you say?" Lee asked, looking up from his food.

"Good pancakes," she lied.

"They're a crowd favorite here. I usually open the bar for breakfast one day a week."

"Well, you should do it more often. You'd make a lot of money off this stuff."

"Money doesn't matter," Lee assured her. "Not with the way things are right now."

A question immediately popped into Kara's mind, but she forced herself to eat a few more bites before blurting it out. "What does matter right now?"

"Having someone you love."

Kara nodded. She could relate to that. Hell, the evidence that Lee's theory was correct was right in front of their eyes. She loved Lee to death and was finally not afraid to admit that to herself. Where before she was definitely pissed off and sulking, now she was sure she was positively glowing. He had always had the ability to change her for the better without even trying.

They returned to eating in comfortable silence.

There was a loud knock on the door just as Kara was finishing up her second helping. She looked over her shoulder at the clock. It was only eight. "Who's that?"

"Lynn likes to get here early on the nights after I close up. She seems to think I can't do it on my own." Kara laughed and pointed to the beer bottles and glasses that were still strewn about the room.

"There were special circumstances last night," Lee insisted. "I was busy entertaining you."

Kara felt herself blush even though she knew he wasn't talking about the sex. She couldn't figure out how she could feel embarrassed and yet not find what happened weird in any way. Shaking his head, Lee stood up to unlock the door for Lynn.

"What the frak, Adama! You are not still in your sweats. It's almost lunchtime."

"I've had more important things to do than get dressed," Lee explained, locking the door behind her.

"You have that freshly fraked look about you so I don't even want to know the trouble you got up to by yourself last night." Lynn shook her head at him and made it halfway across the room before noticing Kara.

Kara gave her a small wave. "Morning."

Lynn froze in horror and looked back at Lee.

"I told you I had better things to do than get dressed."

"Oh gods," Lynn hissed, hiding her head in her hands. "I am so fraking stupid."

"No, you're not," Kara insisted. "You're just set in your routine."

Lynn sent her an appreciative smile. "Well, I'm just going to go do the dishes that I know you never got to last night and hopefully you'll ignore the fact that I'm here."

Kara waited until Lynn was out of sight before standing up. "Lynn's right. It's going to be time to open the bar soon. I better get dressed and get out of here. Besides, the Old Man's probably wondering where I am."

"I think he knows," Lee reminded her as he slid into the booth to finish his breakfast.

"Still, he needs me back on Galactica."

Lee gave her a small nod. He knew how much his father depended on Kara now that he was no longer a part of the military. He hated that she had been forced to take up the slack his absence left behind.

Kara slid out of the booth and was halfway up the stairs when something made her pause. She turned to see Lee standing in the doorway. Her heart froze at the serious look on his face, and she knew what was about to come. This was it, the moment where everything changed again.

"Will you come back?" he asked after a moment.

Kara forced herself to nod. Words weren't an option right now. She couldn't find her voice. For the first time in her life, she was thanking the gods for changing everything.

She was going up the last step when she heard Lee call out to her again. "One more thing."

"Yes?"

"I love you, Kara."

Kara stood poised on that top step for a few minutes as she tried to digest what had just happened. In the end, she couldn't help but smile. She owed the Old Man something big for this vacation. She figured a matching set of grandchildren might cover it.


	13. Run

_The soft rhythm of her feet hitting the ground during the morning run no longer soothed Kara; she had never realized the subtle difference of having him beside her until he was gone._

* * *

The soft rhythm of her feet hitting the ground during the morning run no longer soothed Kara; she had never realized the subtle difference of having him beside her until he was gone.

She had always imagined how it would happen. It would be simple. Another one of his stands for moral rightness. Or it would be complex involving Cylons and betrayals and nukes and a lot of screaming. It kept her up most nights just imagining it.

She never thought it would end like this.

One second they were joking and making faces at each other through the cockpit glass, and then she was staring at a quick flare of fire and millions of small metal pieces.

Kara rubbed her eyes to keep the tears at bay as she made the turn down another endless corridor. It wasn't like things were perfect between her and Lee. They seem to fight more than anything else these days. Or should that be _seemed_ to fight? Was she supposed to start using the past tense every time she thought about him?

She wasn't ready for that.

Her relationship with Lee had always been fraked up in some sense. It was just the way things were. In the end, she found that comforting. So much in her life made sense that it was nice to have something that just existed for the sake of being.

In any other circumstance, she was pretty sure she never would have been friends with Lee. Maybe a one-night frak, sure, but never friends.

It was odd how she had grown grateful for the pain the gods had given her through the years.

It made her feel alive.

Kara pushed her thoughts to the side and focused on her run. This was the first time she stepped out of her bunk since the memorial three days ago. She needed to stay strong and focused or she would just end up right back in that little hole, hiding from the world.

She and Lee hadn't gone on these runs since the Pegasus showed up. They had been too busy. She regretted that stupid decision now that the possibility was gone forever. She should have pushed more to keep him close. She shouldn't have let him withdraw from her.

Struggling for breath, Kara braced herself against the wall of the corridor. Her hands came up to wrap around the chain of dogtags. She didn't have to open her eyes to know what she was feeling.

_L. Adama 462359_

It was the only thing he left her. He said he wanted to replace the one she lost. Kara felt guilty for never telling him she hadn't lost her second dog tag.

The metal felt cool in her hand.

She tightened her eyes as the memory of his Viper exploding played in her mind. It was almost as if it was on an endless loop.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Lee wasn't supposed to be first.

He had left her alone to figure out how to survive, and the pain of knowing she might not be strong enough pulled at her insides.

She had come back from the memorial service to find a small envelope on her bunk. It had taken her three days to get the courage to open it. Lee's dog tags tumbled out followed by a small piece of parchment. On it was a note stating he expected her to be brave and find earth, not for his pilots or his father but for herself. Above all, he wanted her to have the chance to rest. She worked too hard. He said he loved her and hoped she wouldn't cry too many tears for him. His name was signed at the end in his familiar messy scrawl. A last request was scribbled at the bottom in small script.

He left her his dog tags to be buried in the soil of the thirteenth colony.

Sighing, Kara pushed the small pieces of metal back into her tanks and resolved to finish her run. Lee wanted her to be strong.


	14. Laugh

"_Laugh all you want," Lee insisted, "but I really do think that zip sweatshirt has done a lot more for Fleet morale than any promise of a pass to Cloud 9."_

* * *

"Lee Adama, are you staring at my breasts?"

Kara's question came out of nowhere, and Lee realized that she was right. He had been staring at her breasts. "Yes?" It was more of a question than a confirmation. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say in this situation.

His "answer" seemed to please her because she burst out laughing.

"Laugh all you want," Lee insisted, "but I really do think that zip sweatshirt has done a lot more for Fleet morale than any promise of a pass to Cloud 9."

That cut her laughter off immediately.

"I mean, isn't that your intention when you put that thing on? Every other pilot keeps it zipped when they aren't wearing anything underneath, but you walk around as if it's nothing. And don't even get me started on the way it seems to mysteriously unzip a little lower whenever your hand is good at the triad table."

"I do not!" Kara shrieked.

This time, it was Lee who laughed. "Kara, it's your only tell. Trust me. I think I should know."

"That's right. You seem to enjoy staring at my breasts."

"They're there," Lee agreed.

Kara's eyes narrowed.

"They're nice?" he added.

"Nice."

"Best ones on the ship."

"You're such an ass."

Lee grinned. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your little trick."

"Yeah, that's only because you don't want me to stop doing it."

"A man's got to get his kicks somewhere."

"Is that why you also stare at me in the shower?"

"I do not!" Lee protested.

"I have caught you sneaking a peek too many times to count."

"And how would you know if you weren't doing your own fair share of peeking?"

"Oh, I admit it. I peek." Kara leaned in to look over the papers spread on the table between them. When she was sure Lee was focused back on the work, she added, "You should know the women of the Fleet appreciate the morale booster of that tiny little towel you put on after you're done in the head."

Coffee came flying out of Lee's nose, and when he got his breath back, he wondered if Kara had timed that on purpose. She was busy scribbling on the paperwork in front of her, and he could tell she was desperately trying not to laugh. She was also trying to keep from meeting his eyes. Lee wasn't sure why that was.

"Kara?"

She looked up after a moment.

"I think your zip sweatshirt and my towel should team up. We could probably get the Cylons exterminated in two days."

Kara shook her head and looked back down at the reports. "You are such an idiot."

Lee smiled.


	15. Midnight

_Midnight on a Colonial Battlestar could drive you insane with its eerie silence and creaking motion, but as Lee sat at the table and stared into the bunk opposite him, he decided that midnight was also the time when you could see sleeping angels, the kind with unruly blonde hair and lips made of silk.  
_

* * *

Midnight on a Colonial Battlestar could drive you insane with its eerie silence and creaking motion, but as Lee sat at the table and stared into the bunk opposite him, he decided that midnight was also the time when you could see sleeping angels, the kind with unruly blonde hair and lips made of silk.

From practically the moment he laid eyes on her, Lee had had this secret weakness for watching her. It was never anything in the creepy sense. Just a glimpse here when she was sleeping safely in her bunk or there when she was particularly focused on her triad hand. Always in the presence of others, always when he could be easily caught.

It was these moments that made him understand why he stopped objecting to Zak's rather quick engagement the second he met her. A woman that could look that beautiful without even trying was the kind for which a man spent years searching in vain.

His eyes ran over the length of her body, and he found himself wondering why she hadn't shut the curtain tonight. Maybe it was the heat. The circulating fan in the air vent had broken a few hours earlier. Maybe she just didn't feel particularly private at the moment. Either way, she was offering him a glimpse into a side of herself she usually kept hidden.

Lee threaded his fingers together behind his head and kept staring. For the first time since the Cylons had first attacked, he felt grateful he had survived.


	16. Whimsy

_Kara bought the little black dress on a whim from Racetrack when the pilot was cleaning out her locker; she had this vision of Lee's reaction in her head and the idea of that actually happening made the loss of her last bottle of ambrosia worthwhile._

* * *

Kara bought the little black dress on a whim from Racetrack when the pilot was cleaning out her locker; she had this vision of Lee's reaction in her head and the idea of that actually happening made the loss of her last bottle of ambrosia worthwhile.

And finally, weeks later, she found occasion to wear it. It was Cally's birthday, and a lot of the pilots wanted to treat their favorite deckhand to a night of debauchery on Cloud Nine. Kara was one of the first to volunteer her services. She was an expert in debauchery.

The dress felt like a second skin to her and went perfectly with the hand-me down heels she had traded her last Colonial Day dress for. Kara took one last glimpse of herself in the locker mirror and then, slamming the door shut, decided it wasn't nice for her to keep the others waiting.

"Got a date I don't know about?"

Kara wasn't surprised to see Helo hanging in the hatchway. "It's Cally's birthday."

Helo pushed off the wall and walked over to her. "I know that, Kara. I just didn't expect you to pull out all the stops for something as simple as a ladies night."

"I know you boys forget that I'm a girl and I like to do girly things sometimes, but I'm tired of having to defend myself."

Helo reached out to drag a finger across her bare shoulder. He had been the one to tell her that she looked better in strapless dresses, but he had never thought she would listen to him. "I never forgot you were a woman, and neither have a lot of men on this ship."

Kara swatted his hand away and turned her back to him. "Go away." She could hear Helo's laughter echoing off the walls as she made her way into the corridor.

"Oh, Kara?" Kara turned to look at where Helo's head was sticking out of the open hatch. "Don't think for one second that I'm not aware a certain someone we both know is supposed to be going over ship maintenance reports in the hangar bay with the Chief right now."

Kara could feel herself blush, but she kept walking. Frak Helo for knowing what this dress was really about.

She paused a few feet into the hangar. Cally, Racetrack, Seelix, and Kat were already there and ready to go, but it was who they were ready to go _around_ that made Kara stop in her tracks. Lee was standing in the middle of the small group of girls, laughing at something Kat said. Kara took in what he was wearing. The pants were not military issue, but they perfectly complimented the blue striped shirt he was wearing. He was wearing a civilian jacket that seemed as if it was cut to his exact measurements, but there was no way that was possible. No one's clothes fit that well since the attacks destroyed everything they took for granted.

Lee was in the middle of telling a story when he finally noticed Kara. She heard his words trail off almost immediately. Ducking her head to hide her smile, she walked across the hangar bay to stand before him.

"What were you saying, Apollo?" Kat prompted.

Lee couldn't tear his eyes away from Kara as he shook his head. "Doesn't matter."

Cally rolled her eyes. Being a member of the deck crew, she was used to seeing this kind of thing. Starbuck and Apollo had a routine. "Let's go, people. It's my birthday, and I want to celebrate."

Kara waited until the other four women had stepped onto the Raptor to turn to Lee. She was about to say something when she realized he was still staring at her. She smiled, and that seemed to break him from his trance. "You look beautiful," he said with a grin.

"So what's with the getup?" Kara asked, scanning his civilian-clothed body again.

"My father heard about the assaults that have been happening. He thought you might need a little extra protection, and since the Chief had to reschedule our meeting, I offered to tag along."

Kara tried to hide the delight that suddenly surfaced at the thought of Lee coming along. "That's awfully nice of you."

Lee shook his head and glanced back at where the woman were beckoning them to hurry their asses up. "It's not really a huge sacrifice."

"Do me a favor and listen to the big brain tonight," Kara said, smacking his upside the head before grabbing his head and dragging him onto the ship.

The flight over to Cloud Nine was eventful. It seemed like every woman was vying for Lee's attention. It was evidence of how sex-starved the whole fraking ship was these days. There were issues of rank and propriety to be considered, and yet Kara sat back and watched every single one of those issues be ignored. She didn't say a word. She knew how fun it could be to flirt with Lee. Hell, it was practically a hobby for her.

The woman shamelessly flirted with Lee all the way into the Starlight Lounge and even for a little while after. Then, Lee seemed to get serious about his job. He fell away from them, claiming they would have no fun if he was their constant shadow. From time to time, Kara would turn around to see him sitting at the bar. He was always watching them, making sure they were okay.

"It's fraking sexy."

Kara picked up on the tail end of whatever Racetrack was whispering to Seelix and found herself asking what exactly was sexy. Racetrack's face went white as she realized Kara had overheard. "N…nothing."

"Nothing my ass!" Kara exclaimed. She slammed her glass of ambrosia down and leaned in. "Tell Starbuck your little secret."

"We were just talking about Captain Adama," Seelix said, glancing over her shoulder to give Lee a wave.

"And?" Kara prodded.

"And that's it," Racetrack insisted.

"Liars. If you were talking about him, then why was '_it_' fraking sexy?" Both women's faces went beet red, and Kara knew she had them. "Spill."

"Well, we've been watching the CAG on and off for the last hour or so. Tons of women keep coming up to him."

"He's an attractive man. That will happen," Kara said, rolling her eyes. "Gods, you two act as if you've never seen people try to pick each other up in a bar."

"We've never seen a guy glimpse over at our table each and every time a woman comes over to him, and then the woman politely leaves a few seconds later," Racetrack pointed out.

"He's obviously telling the woman he's working."

"If his work consists of staring intently at you, then I guess you're right," Seelix chuckled. "Because that's all he's been doing all night."

"If I had known Lee would like it so much, I would have kept that fraking dress," Racetrack grumbled.

Kara laughed and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes met Lee's, and she realized they were right. He was watching her. Before she could say anything, there was a loud slam. Cally had returned to the table with a full round of drinks. "The cute boys over at that table bought us a round," she exclaimed proudly. She gave the boys in question a small wave before turning back to the table. "And they want us to come join them, ladies."

Kat's eyes roamed the bodies of the men before she purred, "Yes, please." She grabbed her drink and stood up. The whole table laughed as Kat made herself right at home in the middle of the men's table.

"Well, I guess this is what we've been waiting for," Seelix admitted. She turned to give Lee a quick wink before leading the rest of her cohorts over to the table of men.

The men immediately launched in a string of compliments about how women in the military were so sexy, and Kara couldn't help but eat it up. She really didn't get enough appreciation these days. The cute blond guy who had been all over Cally finally got up the nerve to ask her to dance after a few minutes, and most of the other guys followed suit. When the crop engineer who had been sitting next to her suggested they join the others, Kara paused for a moment before politely declining.

The guy quickly asked Racetrack, and she agreed but said she would be there in a minute. Racetrack waited until she was alone and then turned to Kara. "You okay, Captain?"

Kara hesitated a moment before nodding.

"That guy seemed pretty into you."

Kara shrugged.

"Not feeling it?"

Racetrack's eyes went wide as Kara smiled and knocked back her whole glass of alcohol. "You know what they've been saying to us since the end of the colonies? That thing about living life to the fullest and not putting off what you want?"

Racetrack turned to look at where the cute engineer was waiting for her. "It's a nice concept, isn't it?" She turned back to look at Kara. "Are you sure you don't want him?"

Kara shook her head no. "I think what I want is to ask our bodyguard to dance."

Racetrack's face lit up in surprise, and Kara gave her a quick wink before sliding out of her chair. She felt everyone's eyes on her as she pushed her way through the crowd. Racetrack had given up a really nice dress.

She leaned up against the bar next to Lee and watched the crowd for a moment. Then she turned to him. "So are you going to reject me like the others if I ask you to dance?"

Lee kept his eyes fixed on the crowd as he responded. "Well, the women I'm supposed to be watching are on the dance floor, so I guess it's in my job description."

Kara laughed and moved in front of him. Her hands slipped around his waist, and it took Lee a second to realize that she wasn't just copping a feel. He felt the hem of his shirt come untucked and the cool metal of his gun met his skin. "Can't let everyone know you're armed. We might have a riot on our hands."

Lee smiled as she pushed his jacket off his shoulders and laid it on the bar. She looped her fingers with his and dragged him onto the dance floor.

It made her smile to see the cute way Lee fumbled as he tried to find a safe place to put his hands. Kara solved the problem by stepping in and placing one hand on his back and moving their still joined hands out to the side. Lee relaxed considerably and started moving their bodies to the slow beat of the band.

Kara sighed and let herself enjoy. She could hear the giggles of her crewmates as they flirted their way through the dance. She was glad she didn't have to do that. She had gotten tired of being the cute, flirty type years earlier. It only got her a one-night stand and another notch on the bedpost.

Lee inched their joined hands closer until his fingertips gently brushed her collarbone. Kara was extremely happy she had listened to Helo when he told her how big of a turn-on bare shoulders were. Lee was staring at the movement of his fingers across her skin, and it almost felt like he was devouring her with his eyes.

She let her eyes drift shut. She trusted Lee to watch her back.

"Excuse me, sirs."

Kara snapped her head up off Lee's shoulder and looked around. The whole bar was deserted. Kat and Racetrack were across the room, saying goodbye to those men from before. Cally and Seelix were standing beside her and Lee, looking rather amused. She must have lost track of time.

"Highbar just called to say he'll be docking the Raptor in a few minutes. We should probably make our way down to the docking bay."

Kara nodded and, pulling herself away from Lee, went to the bar to settle the tab.

The walk down to the docking bay was rather uneventful. Kara spent most of it trying to keep Kat from falling over. The girl would be nursing one hell of a hangover in the morning.

Racetrack and Cally filled Kara in on all the fun she had missed while she was dancing with Lee. It seemed like the men had bought the women of Galactica quite a few rounds and were rather determined to take someone home. "The frakers were too stupid," Seelix pointed out from the back of the Raptor.

Kara turned to see the poor specialist had a half-conscious Kat leaning on her shoulder. "How so?"

"Well, they didn't compare any of our answers. Every single one of us told them that Lee was our boyfriend, but he was doing a favor and keeping the Fleet wallflower occupied while the rest of us had some fun."

Lee shook his head from up in the co-pilot's seat. "They must have been pretty stupid if they actually believed someone who looked like Kara could be a wallflower."

"Was that a compliment, Captain?" Kara said, feigning shock.

Lee winked and turned back to his conversation with Highbar.

Kara smiled to herself and focused back on the story Racetrack was telling.

The Raptor landed a few minutes later, and Racetrack and Seelix volunteered to get the other two women to their respective bunkrooms. Kara found herself hanging back as Lee helped Highbar with the landing checklist. She took secret pleasure in watching Lee while he was in CAG mode.

Lee didn't say a word to her as they walked side by side down the corridor. It was the middle of the late shift so not many people were around to question what they were doing dressed in civvies. Kara felt Lee's hand slip into hers halfway to their bunkroom and smiled.

It had been a good night.

The bunkroom hatch came a little too quick for Kara's liking. She was about to turn the handle when she felt Lee's hand tighten in hers. She turned to give him an inquiring look, but the words on the tip of her tongue caught in her throat. He looked like he was about to…

Kara's thoughts drifted off as Lee leaned towards her. His lips brushed against hers gently for a few seconds. When he realized she wasn't pushing him away, he gripped her waist and pulled her in closer. The kiss stayed simple and innocent, and it felt right to Kara. She was prepared to stay in this corridor, openly kissing her CAG, for as long as he would allow, but a small, playful nibble on her bottom lip made her giggle and pull away. Lee was smiling down at her.

She gave him a wink and pushed the hatch open. They stepped into the bunkroom and went to their respective lockers. Kara did her best not to glance in his direction. He was in some state of undress, and she wasn't sure she could handle that right now.

Kara grabbed a hair tie and pulled her hair back out of her face. Hearing him move away from his locker, she angled her locker door so she could see Lee in the mirror and smiled. As much as she loved seeing him in civilian clothing, she would take a pair of running shorts any day.

The smile was still plastered on her face as she slid into the bunk. Her mind started processing the night, and she realized what had just happened.

He picked her up. He danced with her. He walked her home. He kissed her on the doorstep.

They had just had their first date.

Kara smiled to herself and twisted to pull her curtain back a few inches. "Lee?"

It took a couple seconds, but she did hear the soft scrap of Lee's curtain being drawn back. She held his eyes for a few seconds before smiling. "Good night."

He reflected her smile right back at her. "Good night."

Kara gave him a wink and shut her curtain. She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. It had been a nice night.


	17. Young

"_Hard to imagine we were young once" was the soft whisper that caused Kara to shut her locker door and turn to smile at Lee._

* * *

"Hard to imagine we were young once" was the soft whisper that caused Kara to shut her locker door and turn to smile at Lee.

"When did you get done with your meetings?" she asked.

"About two minutes ago. I figured I'd check and see if you were around before I go back to Pegasus."

"I'm always around," Kara said, motioning to the cane leaning up against the table. "Or did you forget I hurt my knee again?"

Lee shook his head. How could he forget about that? His shift in the CIC was just ending when he got word of the accident in Galactica's hangar bay. For two hours, he stayed glued to the comms to hear the updates as the deck crew worked to pry Kara's Viper open. Hoshi had to remind him five times that he could not fly over to Galactica and try to lend a hand, no matter how much he wanted to.

No one really knew what happened. She was landing her Viper from CAP, and something exploded in the tube. It could have been a part of her plane or one of the many mechanisms that worked the landing tube. The deck crew said they just heard a long bang followed by the most unnatural scraping noise ever. The Viper was completely shot by the time the crew got to her. Cottle said Kara was lucky to escape with only a tweaked knee. "I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lee. You have a lot of responsibilities over on the Beast. I didn't expect you to drop everything because I managed to have another accident."

"That wasn't just an accident," Lee said, taking a few steps in the bunkroom. He knew he should be getting back to Pegasus. It was his ship, and he really hated leaving it for long periods. Still, it had been a long time since he had a moment alone with Kara. "It took them two hours to cut your out of your ship, Kara. That's more than an accident. You could have died."

"Don't remind me." Kara limped over and took a seat on her bunk. She reached underneath her pillow and pulled out a stack of papers. She had a flight schedule to map out regardless of whether the Commander of Pegasus deemed her worthy of a visit, not that she didn't appreciate having him here. She had heard Lee was going to be on ship and hadn't dared to hope he would remember to stop by.

Lee watched her working for a few seconds and then realized he was intruding. _Just because she was hurt didn't mean she no longer has a job to do, you idiot._ "Well, I just wanted to be sure that you were all right. I should get back to my ship." He turned and was almost to the hatch before he heard her call his name.

"Could… could you stay with me a bit?"

Lee twisted back towards the bunk. The look of sheer longing on her face shook him to the core. She shouldn't be that lonely and miserable that she felt the need to beg such lousy company as Lee knew he would be. Still, if she wanted him to stay…

He leaned against the table. "What are you working on?"

"Flight schedules," Kara said. "Why don't you come over here and help? I'm trying to figure out how to work my two new pilots in the rotation."

Lee hesitated a moment before sitting down on the edge of her bunk. One of his meetings had included Doc Cottle, and the crotchety, old man had growled at Lee not to overtax Kara. How Cottle had known he was going to visit her was beyond Lee. He hadn't even known until his feet had walked here like they had a mind of their own.

Lee watched Kara while she looked over a few papers . His mind drifted back to the worn picture in her locker. "So, you still have that old picture from Academy up."

"It makes me happy," Kara said, still staring down at the schedule in her hands. "I like to remember how great things were back then. Simple, you know?"

Lee thought that over for a moment and realized he couldn't correct her, not when he almost wished he could go back to that time, too. "Things aren't that bad now."

"They're not simple," she pointed out.

"But they're not bad."

"You only say that because you're not laid up in a bed doing endless amounts of paperwork."

Lee shook his head. "No, I'm just chained to a desk in a job that I never asked for with no hopes of being allowed to do anything else."

Kara's face went white as realized what she just said. "Gods, I'm sorry, Lee. I didn't mean that."

"Don't worry about it," Lee said, shrugging off her comment. She had been tiptoeing around him ever since the shooting on Cloud Nine. They had talked about it, but for some reason, Lee couldn't get her to let the guilt go. It wasn't her fault he got shot regardless of if she was the shooter or not. Lee pushed himself into the bunk until his back hit the wall and let out a deep sigh. He was tired of having this conversation with Kara. She needed to forgive herself, but Lee had no idea how to help her do that.

After a few seconds, Lee unbuttoned his jacket and slid it off. He wasn't go to lie and say this didn't feel awkward. The two of them had barely talked since his promotion and her last minute request that they work through whatever issues they had with each other. She had asked if they were okay. He reassured her they were and then ran away the first chance he had. "I heard that Helo's been helping you with the physical therapy."

"Helo helps out every once in a while when he can. He's picked up some of the slack my absence caused so he doesn't really have a lot of time to worry about the poor cripple." Kara's hand paused in what she was writing, and she gave Lee a suspicious look. Kara's feet brushed against his legs as she sat up at attention. "Wait a second. Did your father force you to come here?"

"What? No, my father didn't send me here."

Kara shook her head as a wave of embarrassment came over her. "I'm sorry. I just… the Old Man doesn't like that I have to do most of my rehab by myself. He wants to hire some civilian to come on board and take care of me. I thought he might have sent you here to argue his case."

"A civilian trying to keep up with you? I don't think it's possible."

Kara let out a laugh. "That's exactly what I said. I know the Old Man is just trying to watch out for me, but it's not like I'm on my death bed. I hurt my knee. I seem to do that once a year these days."

"Good point." Kara's foot accidentally brushed his knee again as she shifted to get comfortable. Lee reached out and pulled both her feet into his lap. Sighing, he rested his hands on her legs as she dipped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. "So tell me all the juicy gossip here on Galactica. My crew will be mad if I come home and don't have anything to offer them."

Kara bit her lip as she tried to think of what would be good enough to do the job. She had spent time over on Pegasus. She knew they were complete gossip hounds over there. "Rumor has it that Racetrack and Showboat have started dating."

Lee shook his head. "Not true. Showboat's been leading one of my squadrons so I would know."

"You don't know every little thing about your crew," Kara pointed out. "People like to keep some things secret. It's called having a private life."

"Not Showboat," Lee said with a chuckle. "Sometimes she's so upfront and in my face that I wonder if she's a relation of yours."

Kara leaned forward to smack Lee's arm. "Not funny."

"Seriously, though, I know for a fact that Showboat's been fraking Stinger for the past month or so, so I really doubt she started something with Racetrack."

"Frak me! A squad leader and the CAG? Isn't that illegal or something?"

"Restrictions have gotten lax," Lee said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Can I tell people about that? Hot Dog's been bugging me for some good gossip this whole week, and since I'm laid up in my bed, I can't avoid him."

"Sure. I doubt Showboat will care."

Kara smiled and picked up her pen again. "You have no idea how excited that makes me. Once I tell Hot Dog, I think I might actually get a full two hours peace and quiet."

"Glad to be of service."

Lee started rubbing the bridge of her foot, and the room filled up with silence. He had forgotten how much he liked to watch her work. These rare moment of peace were few and far between.

"You can tell them I'm fraking Gaeta or Helo or something."

He was only half listening when Kara's suggestion yanked him back into reality. "You're fraking Gaeta?"

"No," Kara laughed. "I just figured you needed good gossip and I was offering myself as a willing subject. The whole Fleet already thinks I'm fraking most of the pilots and crew on this ship. You might as well use it to your advantage."

Lee rolled his eyes and reached out to grab the papers out of her hands. "Let me see those. Maybe I can help." The problem popped out at him immediately. "Kara, this schedule's done."

"Yeah, so?"

"So you asked me to stay and help you finish it?"

"I know," she admitted. "I just… I don't know. I'm bored."

"With all that paperwork I'm sure Colonel Tigh is giving you?"

"Bastard keeps passing it all off on the invalid," Kara growled. After a moment, the anger subsided and she returned to giving Lee that sad look. "Hurting my knee is different than the first time. I just sit in this damn bed all day and maybe if I'm lucky Helo or the Old Man shows up to tell me what I'm missing. I get up, take a rather painful walk to the shower, do paperwork, eat lunch, more paperwork, therapy, dinner, try to work on selecting a new class of nuggets, and then I go to bed. Day after day after day, it's the same. I just wanted you to stay and distract me from how crappy my life's become."

Lee felt his heart break just a little. "I should have come sooner."

"I'm just glad you're here at all," she admitted. "I miss having you here."

"Why don't you relax for a bit, Kara?"

"I can't. I have to go down to sickbay and get my therapy. Not that I want to hobble all the way down there but Cottle says I have to keep the muscles active if I want to put myself in a cockpit anytime soon."

"What exactly do they do for your knee to keep it active?"

"Oh, it's stupid. They just massage it for about half of an hour and give me a lecture that I'm pushing myself too hard."

"I don't know about the lecture, but I could probably do the other part," Lee offered.

Kara felt her face blush and wished her mind didn't always go down an inappropriate road every time Lee started being nice to her. "You don't have to."

"I want to," Lee insisted. "Besides you said you wanted a change in routine, and this way you and I can talk a little more. You can tell me how my dad is really doing."

Lee didn't wait for an answer. He just shifted to her side of the bunk and started rolling up the leg of her sweatpants. His fingers unhooked the brace around the knee, and he tried to keep from flinching at the sight of the large purple bruises on the normally flawless skin. "Tell me if this hurts."

Kara agreed and let her head rest on her pillow as Lee's hands gently kneaded the tight muscles in her knee. She was surprised when there really wasn't that much pain. It always hurt like a bitch when the nurses did this. "That feels nice," she whispered. Her eyes slid shut as the smile played on her lips. "You missed your calling, Lee."

Kara didn't last much longer than that. She had been battling the pressures of finding her place again now that her knee was hurt, and there had been barely a moment to relax. She was constantly trying to prove that a hurt knee couldn't holding her back. It was exhausting. The sleep was a welcome treat.

Lee dutifully finished the full half hour of therapy even though Kara had been sleeping for over half of it. As much as she denied it, even the littlest things were tiring her out these days. Lee had been receiving daily updates from both Helo and his father so he should know. That was one of the reasons he arranged for his Raptor to pick him up late. He wanted a chance to see firsthand how bad off Kara was this time.

He pulled the blankets up around her body and leaned in to give her forehead a soft kiss. "Rest, Kara. I'll see what I can do about your problem."

Lee straightened up and, grabbing his jacket off the floor, made his way out into the corridor. He only had to wait a few seconds before seeing someone familiar. "Duck, come here a second."

"What do you need, Commander, sir?"

"I want you to tell Cottle that he doesn't have to worry about having one of the nurses give Kara her daily massage. I'm going to handle that from now on."

Duck's jaw draw open for a brief second before he caught himself. "Yes, sir."

Lee waited until the Viper pilot was out of sight before heading down to the hangar bay. He shouldn't have a problem ducking off the Pegasus for an hour or two during his off-shift every day. It just meant creating a regular fixed schedule between himself and the CIC staff. Even then, after a few weeks, Kara could start coming to him. After all, the Pegasus had paperwork that needed to be done, too.

He was about to board the Raptor back to his ship when his eyes caught on a few of the deckhands. They were trying to weld together a handful of metal into what looked like a half-rate patch for a Viper nose. Lee was always astonished at how inventive the specialist could be. If something broke and there wasn't a part to replace it, they simply built a new one from scratch.

"Hold off a second," Lee said to the pilot taking him back to Pegasus as a thought suddenly hit him.

The Chief was at his side within seconds. "Is something wrong, sir?"

"Nothing with the ship," Lee assure Tyrol. "Is it possible for you to start designing a new Blackbird, Chief? Improve upon the old one and iron out the mistakes we made?"

"Is there a particular reason why you want this done right now?"

"Yeah, there is." Lee paused, not sure if he wanted to get in to why Kara needed a pet project. "I think it's a good idea for the Fleet to have a stealth ship in their possession. I'll get you approval from the Old Man to divert whatever personnel you need to."

"I'd be happy to work on it, sir."

"Good. I just ask one favor."

"What's that?"

"Keep Kara in the loop as much as you can. She flew the Blackbird the first time so she should have a lot to contribute."

"Yes, sir," Tyrol said, snapping off a salute.

Lee returned the gesture. "Don't let Kara know I'm the one that organized this. In case you never noticed, she tends to go against whatever I say."

"I noticed, Commander," Tyrol said, trying to hold back a laugh. "And I just want to say it's a good idea. I've seen Kara a few times since the accident, and she seems to be going a little stir crazy."

"Glad you approve." Lee clapped the deck chief on the back as he pushed past him to board the Raptor again.

The ride back to Pegasus was quiet, and Lee decided it was a good thing that he liked the silence. He was going to be doing this a lot now that he volunteered to do Kara's physical therapy. He wondered how long he could keep his visits to Galactica a secret. He really didn't want to see Dee's reaction when she found out he had rearranged his schedule for Kara on the drop of a dime when he couldn't even get an off-shift to go down to Cloud Nine with her.

Lee shook his head. Anyone who knew him knew that he had his priorities, and it took a lot for them to change. Kara had always been a driving force in his life. He couldn't change that even if he tried. In fact, he had tried. It didn't work. She always came back.

Lee's thoughts returned to that worn photo shut up inside Kara's locker. Kara had been both his and Zak's world back then. They did almost everything together from going to bars to coming up with a way to surprise Caroline Adama on her birthday. They had been a family.

Lee had screwed up so many times when it came to his family. He lost his brother and then Gianne because he was too stupid to slow down and realize what he had. He was too intent on his own life that he didn't see the pain of others. Lee wasn't not going to let the same thing happen to Kara.

Starting now, things were going to change.


	18. Memory

_His first memory of Kara was watching her wage a personal battle on a vanilla ice cream cone with her tongue on a hot Picon day, but Lee would never let her know that._

* * *

His first memory of Kara was watching her wage a personal battle on a vanilla ice cream cone with her tongue on a hot Picon day, but Lee would never let her know that.

He wasn't supposed to be there that day. Zak had canceled their plans to mess around with the Academy's Viper simulators. Lee still had to finish the write-ups Commander Atock had asked him to complete on his leave, and he figured that Picon was just as good of a place to do it as back home on Caprica. Plus, this way he wouldn't have his mother peering over his shoulder to nag him about his penmanship.

He took the folders out to the main yard of the campus and settled into a section of grass in the shade of a large elm tree. It was halfway through the first one when he noticed the pretty blond sitting on the park bench across the way. She was too intent on eating the ice cream cone in her hand to even notice he was there.

His breath stilled as her tongue slid out to take a long lick. The sun was beating down on his skin despite the shade, and Lee blamed it for the hot flush on his face. The blond flicked the hair out of her face and took another lick.

Lee watched in awe as her tongue did things to that cone that he had never even imagined. His pants were starting to feel uncomfortable tight, and he shifted his body to compensate. He had been lonely the past few months while stationed off planet, but he had never thought it was so bad that seeing a woman innocently eating an ice cream cone would suddenly become foreplay.

The folders slid to the ground, but Lee barely noticed. He was currently dreaming up the alternative uses he could find for that tongue so his assignment was the last thing on his mind.

Trying push the inappropriate thoughts from his head, Lee shut his eyes and focused on taking deep breaths for the few minutes it took to calm himself. When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see the blond was staring at him. Her ice cream cone was gone.

Lee held her eyes a moment before hesitantly lifting his hand to wave. She was definitely staring at him.

The blond got up off the bench and made her way over to where he was sitting. He had no clue why he felt the need to avert his eyes. He hadn't done anything to be embarrassed about, and yet Lee found himself focusing on the way her dress pooled around her knees.

She was barefoot. For some reason, that seemed important.

"You don't know me," the woman said. Her voice was gravely. Lee had had a feeling it would be.

"I'm sorry?"

"You don't know me so you don't have to pretend like you remember who I am."

"Oh." Lee's brow furrowed after a few seconds of silence. "I don't understand."

A laugh fell from the woman's lips, and Lee smiled. He didn't understand what she found so amusing, but he didn't really care. "I'm Lee."

"I know," the woman said, sitting down in front of him. "I was actually supposed to meet you today."

"Like destiny or something?" Lee said, a slight frown coming to his face. He really didn't buy that whole one path in life, no way to get out it thing.

"No, like Zak was supposed to introduce you to me. I'm Kara." The woman waited a moment before continuing, "As in Kara, your brother's new girlfriend. Frak me! Do not tell me that little bastard didn't warn you. I am going to kill him."

Lee tried to grasp what she had just told him as she launched into a long string of explicatives about what exactly she was going to do to his little brother when she saw him again. A tiny voice in the back of his head reminded him that Zak _had_ said he had something to show Lee when he came to Picon. Lee had no clue Zak meant a girlfriend.

The tiny voice went on to remind him of what exactly he had been imagining Zak's new girlfriend doing only a few minutes earlier. Lee hated himself for it but he couldn't help but hope this relationship didn't last. He wasn't going to be able to kill the memory of lusting after his brother's girl anytime soon, and he didn't want the guilt involved with that.

Kara kept on swearing, oblivious to it all.


	19. Search

_Kara took a deep breath before answering Lee's question, "I don't think you were wrong to stop the search for me."_

* * *

Lee had been outside her sickbay curtain for over ten minutes, trying to muster up the courage to go inside. The medics said his father had already been to see her and word was William Adama had apologized for whatever he did to make her go on that suicide run. That meant she was probably in a good mood.

"I can see you through the curtain, Lee."

Lee shook his head and pushed into the curtained area. It felt familiar for Kara to catch him acting stupid and insecure. It was happening more often these days. "Hey."

"Hey."

Lee's eyes roamed her body, and Kara was all too aware that she was in a flimsy hospital gown. Not to mention that sponge bath hadn't really gotten her clean. His eyes settled on the brace on her knee, and Kara suddenly remembered why she was here. "I'm doing fine, Lee. You don't have to worry."

"I know," he said, nodding. He took a seat on the side of the hospital bed. "So, did anyone tell you about how intent this ship was on finding you? It should make you feel important."

Kara nodded. "A few of the pilots were in here earlier to welcome me back. They seemed to be under the impression that most of the _intent_ was coming from you and your father." Lee felt his cheeks redden immediately. "And it _did_ make me feel important."

Lee watched as Kara stared down at her hands, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. The guilt washed over him without warning. He shouldn't let her think he was this big, strong champion of her cause. "Did they tell you about why we stopped?"

Kara took a deep breath before answering Lee's question, "I don't think you were wrong to stop the search for me."

Lee rested his hand on the thigh of her good leg. He couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't think anything's ever killed me as much as having to call up the CIC to let my father terminate the search. The whole time my heart was screaming that you would never give up on me. You would never let yourself be bullied into anything."

"That's not fair, Lee," Kara said, leaning down to rest her hand on top of his. "It's the end of the world, and I'm just one pilot. You couldn't risk everything we've fought so hard to keep just to save me. I'm not worth it."

"You are," Lee insisted, finally looking up at her. "You're worth a whole hell of a lot, Kara, and the fact that you don't know it only proves the point."

Kara beamed at him and leaned back in bed. "You see? Now _that _makes me feel important."

Lee felt himself blush again and wondered how Kara had become the only person who could make him do this.

"So are you off-shift?"

"The Old Man gave me a little downtime. He knew that I took the President's order to call off the search a little hard. Plus, I was the one to bring the prodigal daughter home. I deserve a little time off."

Kara rolled her eyes before patting the bed next to her. "Come sit up here with me."

Lee shifted, being careful not to jostle her knee as he settled in. Kara grabbed his arm and slid it around her shoulder before leaning in to his side. Lee couldn't help but drop a kiss on the side of her head. "I'm sorry," he whispered after a moment.

"I told you that it was okay that the search was called off."

"That wasn't what I was apologizing for." Lee let out a deep sigh. He and Kara were peacefully coexisting for once, and he couldn't believe he felt the need to push that. "My father told me yesterday that you two had talked about Zak, and I don't know… I guess I thought that meant you had told him about passing Zak during his flight test. I told him that this whole problem you were having with the nuggets might have something to do with the guilt you felt about Zak. He always treated you differently than everyone else, Kara. I really thought you two could have talked about it and he would have forgiven you right away. I didn't now…" Lee's voice faded out. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kara whispered. She turned the hand Lee had resting around her waist and flipped it palm up. Her fingers trailed against the roughened skin, the sign of a pilot who had been flying his machine for years. "I would have kept that secret bottle up inside of me for years, Lee. I would have pushed off telling your father because the timing was never right or I thought he was too stressed. I would have used any excuse I could get my hands on to not admit to what I had done. You pushed me to not do that."

"It should have been your decision, though," Lee protested.

A slow, lengthy yawn took her over, and Kara sighed, "I'm too tired to be having this argument with you, Lee."

Lee nodded and moved to get up. "I won't keep the legendary Starbuck from her beauty sleep."

"Frak you," Kara hissed, though her grip tightened on his body.

"Kara, you have to let go if you want to sleep."

"I'm still waiting for my bath," she mumbled, snuggling in close to him. She could feel him chuckling. This felt familiar. "You'll stay for a bit, won't you?"

"Sure," Lee said. He let himself shift and relax until he had found a comfortable position. "You know, I saw Dr. Baltar buzzing around out there. I think he has a crush on you."

"Shut up," Kara growled, even though she couldn't hide the smile from her face.

Lee laughed and let his eyes slid shut. Truth be told, he needed this rest as much as Kara did. They had both had a long day.


	20. Wonder

_Lee stared in wonder as his daughter took her first few steps right into her mother's arms._

* * *

Lee stared in wonder as his daughter took her first few steps right into her mother's arms.

His life had changed so much.

He had spent years fighting to get over the guilt of losing his first child without even knowing her… him… her.

That was yet another thing he would never know because he had been too stupid. Gianne had been the best thing to happen to him at the time. She was his only lifeline after Zak died. She helped him work through the pain and listened to him blame his father time and time again.

When he lost her and their unborn child, he swore off ever being a father. The gods had proven that he was unworthy.

He held fast to that belief until the day Kara cornered him in his office. She had been avoiding him for over a month at that point. They had had some ridiculous fight when he was visiting Galactica that somehow ended up with the two of them naked in an empty bunkroom. It was the first moment in years that Lee let himself feel happiness without the guilt. That was why when she shattered around him he let himself tell her how much he loved her. She ran away from him just like he knew she would.

The next time he saw her, Kara asked him out right if he had meant what he said that day. Lee could see the struggle in her eyes, and he didn't have it in his heart to lie to her. He told her he hated the fact that he loved her but he couldn't change it if he tried.

Kara had nodded. Her hand came up to her stomach, and she smiled. Finally, she smiled.

Then she told him that she was keeping the baby and he would just have to get used to the idea.

Two days later, Lee summoned her to his office on Pegasus. She was fresh off CAP and rather irritated at not being able to return home. The irritation faded away as he told her about Gianne. When he was finished, she was silent for a moment. Then she told him that he was wrong. The gods didn't mean for him to be so sad.

Five hours later, the transfer was official and Kara was the new CAG of Pegasus. She started her first briefing with words that would live in infamy, just for their sheer brashness alone. "My name is Captain Kara Thrace. I'm your new CAG and the Fleet's best pilot. On top of that, I'm the woman who is going to have your Commander's child in about seven and a half months. If you don't like that, then tell me right now. I'll kick your ass now before Cottle tells me I can't do strenuous activities."

Lee smiled to himself. It was odd how he could reconcile that brash pilot named Starbuck with Kara Adama, the woman currently tickling his daughter. He guessed it had something to do with the vulnerability he saw in both facets of the woman he loved.

That vulnerability was never more apparent than the day his daughter came into this world.

Throughout her whole pregnancy, Kara had stayed strong in her belief that this was what was meant to happen. She was the voice of reason when he started doubting that they could bring a child into the world and raise her properly. She explained that they both had made mistakes in the past, but that didn't mean they were doomed to repeat them.

The second her water broke, the dynamic shifted as Lee took on the burden of being the strong one. For the first time, Kara admitted how scared she was. Lee knew they should have talked about her mother before she started giving birth, but he honestly thought they would have more time. The baby wasn't supposed to come this early.

They had gotten through it together, though, and months later, they were doing just fine. The proof was right in front of him.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

Kara's voice caused Lee to tear his gaze away from his daughter. Smiling, he replied, "I'm thinking I'm awfully lucky to have the two of you." He stood up and kissed the top of his wife's head before rubbing a hand protectively over the young child in her arms.

His two girls were the most wonderful thing that ever happened to him.


	21. Red

_Lee could feel the passion filter through his body while the water from the shower head poured over his skin and his eyes locked with Kara's across the head; there was something about being caught in such an intimate position by the woman you had been imagining._

* * *

Lee could feel the passion filter through his body while the water from the shower head poured over his skin and his eyes locked with Kara's across the head; there was something about being caught in such an intimate position by the woman you had been imagining.

Today had been a particularly trying day. To start, there had been an accident down in the hangar. He lost two Vipers for as long as the Chief took to fix them, and Hot Dog had somehow managed to sprain his ankle in the process of watching the two ships being pulled apart. Lee had to make emergency alterations to the schedule. It took him hours. There weren't enough pilots right now to pick up the slack.

In the end, Lee took Hot Dog's CAP rotation himself even though he hadn't slept in over twenty-five hours. That left him stuck in the air with Kat for over six hours, and she would not shut up. Lee didn't say one word the whole time, but she didn't get the picture.

When he finally got back to Galactica, he was called to his father's office. He forgot the Old Man wanted a progress report on how the newly constructed replacement gimbals were working out in the Raptors. When he fell asleep in the middle of a sentence, his father finally got the picture and told him the rest of the report could wait until the morning.

Lee had stumbled to his bunkroom before realizing that his body was caked with sweat and grim from the CAP. Groaning, he grabbed a towel and made his way to the head. He was about to step into the shower when Crashdown's voice carried through the showers.

"Did you hear about Starbuck's little escapade today? She found out that Logan was trying to follow the traditional faith of Gemenon and put together that meant he was at the end of his annual month of chastity. Fraker had made it twenty-nine solar days so what did she decide to do? She walked right into the bunkroom, stripped down to only her skivvies, flopped down in her bunk, and lit up a cigar. She muttered something about the heat being on the fritz and just puffed away. I thought Logan was going to shoot his wad on the spot."

Lee groaned and promised himself that he would reprimand Starbuck in the morning.

It wasn't until he stepped into an empty stall that he realized the image of Kara in that bunk hadn't left his mind. Lee groaned again. He did not need this right now. He was way too tired.

The water beat down on his face, causing him to wince. He felt an uncomfortable tightness in his groan and knew he was going to have to fix the situation. He was too tired to figure out a way to calm himself.

Lee took a quick look around the shower. There was only a handful of stalls that had a clear view inside of his, and he was so worked up that it probably wouldn't take more than a few minutes. Smiling, he shut his eyes and let himself imagine Kara in that bunk, topless and smoking that cigar like her life depend on it.

It wasn't long until he started imagining something complete different in her mouth. He reached down to take himself in hand. The image of Kara's mouth took the place of his hand, and he sped up his strokes. He bit down on his lip to keep himself from moaning her name. Noise always bounced off the walls in here, and he did not have the energy to explain to anyone what he was doing.

Lee's teeth cut into his lip, and he could taste the blood on his mouth. That somehow fueled his fantasy. His imaginary Kara pulled his cock deeper into his mouth and started moaning.

He had no clue why he opened his eyes. He was only a few strokes away from falling over the edge.

The normal reaction would have been to either freeze or pretend like he hadn't been doing what he was doing. Yet Lee felt his hand speed up as the image of his fantasy stared back at him.

After a moment, Kara smirked and stepped under the spray of her showerhead. Lee's eyes could help but scan the length of her body. He really felt for Logan. He knew firsthand what having this tease of a woman on your mind could do.

He was still concentrating on stroking his length when he saw her lips move. It took him a moment to realize she was asking him who he was thinking about. Lee wondered if he should just tell her the truth or if there was a lie he could tell her that she would realistically believe. After a moment's deliberation, he simply mouthed that she already knew.

Kara quirked an eyebrow at him and made sure his gaze had returned to her face before running her hand through her hair. Lee watched as her fingers traveled down her neck to rest on her full breasts. They were slick with soap, and Lee could just imagine what it would be like to feel them in his hand. She had the most perfect pair of nipples he had ever seen.

Lee found himself biting down on his lip again, but this time it was to keep himself from coming. He wanted to see how far she would go.

Kara's tongue darted out to lick her lips just as her right hand slid down her stomach to cup the heat between her legs. She wasted no time slipping a finger deep inside of her.

Lee was captivated by the way her hips countered the thrusts of her hands. He could just imagine how it would feel to have those wonderful hips colliding with his own as he pushed himself as deep inside her as their bodies allowed. She would scream for him then.

He almost lost control the moment he realized her eyes were locked on the motions of his hand. She was watching him like a hawk and that was the inspiration for the way she was roughly rubbing her hand across her folds. Her moans bounced off the walls as she came. Lee felt his own hips begin to thrust as he tumbled over the edge.

The water ran down his body, almost immediately cleaning away the evidence of what he had just done. His hand turned the dial to cold. He needed to cool down if he ever wanted to sleep again.

Lee continued to look at the wall even after the water had gone freezing. He hoped to the gods that this had freaked Kara out as much as it had him. Then, she would run away by the time he finished his shower and they wouldn't have that awkward first conversation. Lee didn't think he could explain this even if he tried.

The water went warm about two seconds before he felt her arms come around his body. Her voice was a husky whisper in his ear. "Was I wrong to think it was me?"

Her hands started going south right away, and Lee closed his eyes. He had really thought the fantasy would end when he finally got off, but it looked like he was going to go another round. "It's always you," he panted as he felt himself begin to rise again.

"I did something naughty, Lee," Kara whispered, her hand moving to the gentle rhythm of her voice.

"I know about Logan."

"Not that." Lee braced his hands against the wall and waited for her to continue. "I pulled rank before taking my shower. I wanted to do it in peace so I cleared the head and locked the hatch."

"No one's going to throw you in the brig for that," Lee said before gasping as her other hand reached down to cup his balls, giving them a light squeeze.

"No but I'm pretty sure fraking the CAG will get me a few hours time-out if anyone realizes that's what I'm doing."

Lee's eyes shot open. Did she just say something about fraking him? He felt her body slip under his arm, and she popped up in front of him. The water from the shower head cascaded around her body. "Well, we'll just have to be quiet then."

Kara's smile widened as she felt his arms pick her up off the ground. She had barely a second to brace her back against the wall before he was sliding himself into her. She bit back the moan that was on the verge of slipping out. This was not how she saw her day going.

"Gods, Kara," Lee hissed, feeling her legs tighten around his waist as she drew him deeper.

Kara leaned her head down the few inches it took to kiss him. As soon as their lips connected, she realized what she had done. The dynamic between them had been fine when they were just getting off on watching each other. Heck, even now that he was fraking her, it didn't feel out of line. But kissing him changed that. Kissing him made it clear that she wasn't in this solely to kill the buzz. Kissing meant emotions. Kara didn't do well with emotions.

Almost as if Lee knew, he let go of her legs. Kara's feet dropped to the ground, and she was about to apologize for taking whatever was going on to the next level. She didn't mean to do it if it meant him pulling back. They could start with fraking and figure out the kissing thing later when they were a lot less on edge.

She realized he wasn't looking for an apology when he gave her that devilish grin and slid his hands down to her hips. His fingers dug into the flesh as he turned her to face the wall of the stall. Kara had just a few seconds to brace herself against the wall before he was pushing into her from behind.

"Harder," she growled, feeling his lips bit down on the flesh of her neck. "Oh gods. Harder."

Lee was happy to oblige. He used his hands to push her thighs apart a little more and slammed in to the hilt. Kara broke almost immediately, but somehow Lee managed to hang on. He reached his hand around her front to start to work her in the same rhythm of his continuing thrusts.

Kara moaned his name over and over again as the orgasm stretched out. Her head rested against the wall of the shower as she started bucking her hips violently against him. It was that struggle that finally made him lose control. Twisting her head to kiss her roughly, he let himself release deep inside of her.

As they both came down, Kara twisted her body to face him. Their lips stayed connected as he finally let himself give in. This was what he had really wanted. Fraking Kara was great and all, but he was a fool to think he didn't want this intimacy.

They were still kissing ten minutes later when the pounding on the hatch door finally reached their ears.

"I think the pilots want back in," Lee said, gently nipping at her lips before pulling back.

"And you're supposed to be getting rest," Kara pointed out. "A cranky CAG is a bad CAG."

Lee rolled his eyes and stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around her body the second she followed, and knowing better, he still found himself gently drying her off. "I'm not tired," he said after a moment.

The pounding on the door got louder as the pilots screamed that they heard someone in there. Lee turned to glance at the source of the noise and when he turned back, he saw Kara was staring at him with that familiar look on her face, the one that said she was about to get her way even if it was dangerous. "What?"

"I can think of a way to help you with that whole not tired problem."

Lee moved his hands away from his body. He was still exhausted even if he couldn't sleep. There was no way he could go another round with a woman like her. He moved to throw a towel around his hips. "I don't think I'm up for it."

Kara rolled her eyes. "I was talking about a back rub."

Lee's eyes lit up. She really was a woman after his heart. "Really?"

"Yeah. I remember the way you used to beg me for them back in Academy when it was the night before a big test. They helped you relax."

Lee checked to make sure the towel was tightly wrapped around her body before leaning in to kiss her again. This time it was slow and sweet. "Two conditions, Kara."

"You name them," she agreed.

"One, you have to wear that towel."

Kara imagined the things he could do to her sanity if she let her naked body straddle his. "Agreed. What's the second condition?"

"That when you're done, you stay for a bit."

Kara felt something tug at her heart, but she pushed it away. They could deal with that stuff in the morning. For now, she was on a one-woman mission to give her CAG a break. Plus, she, too, could use a little time off. The Old Man had just been telling her that she looked a little pale that morning.

Satisfied with the reasons she came up with, Kara unlocked the hatch and pulled Lee past the crowd of very surprised pilots. So much for keeping herself out of the brig today.


	22. Blessing

_William Adama watched his son talking softly to the bride and knew that was a union to which he could give his blessing with ease if only it weren't too late._

* * *

William Adama watched his son talking softly to the bride and knew that was a union to which he could give his blessing with ease if only it weren't too late. He had spent many months watching the two of them dance around so many things.

The ghost of his youngest son. Their responsibilities in the military. Lee's decision to let go of his desire to live. The scars left behind by her first trip to Caprica.

Through it all, he had actually believed they could work through it. He saw the way his two children flew together. You didn't let a thing like that slip through your fingers without putting up a good fight.

Yet here he was, forced to give his daughter away to an outsider.

Sam Anders was a good man. He loved Kara with all his heart, but Adama couldn't help but feel their love was lacking a certain spark. Kara was a stubbornly opinionated woman, and she needed someone who would stand up to her from time to time. It might be the newness of their relationship, but Adama was pretty sure he had never seen Kara get angry at Sam.

He knew his daughter. That wasn't a good sign.

Adama sighed and looked over at the former President. She was in the middle of a rather heated discussion with Saul about the benefits of a socialized healthcare system. He knew he should probably pull the two of them apart, but it was actually rather entertaining. He figured he'd give them a few more minutes to work it out on their own and turned back to watch Lee and Kara. They were laughing now.

"It's rather interesting, sir."

Adama turned to look at the man sitting next to him. "What is that, Helo?"

"Well, I was always under the impression that the two of them would never actually let go of the hold they had on each other."

"Who says they did?" Adama asked.

"Sir?"

"All I'm saying is that Sam makes Kara very happy right now, but should that ever change, she knows where Lee and I will be."

Helo nodded his understanding. He prayed for Anders' sake that that day would never come. He had been on the wrong side of an Adama before and knew it to be less than fun. He hated to think what would happen if the reason Lee was mad those first few months had something to do with Kara. For someone who claimed there was absolutely nothing between himself and Galactica's CAG, he was awfully protective of her.

Adama sighed and got to his feet. "If you'll excuse me, Lieutenant, I believe as the father of the bride, I have the honor of the first dance."

Adama made his way to the front table, all the while wondering if he could find a way to justify his son's cutting into this dance he was honored to have. Lee would never have the courage to do it by himself.


	23. One

_It only took one word for Kara to know this wasn't just some thoughtless frak as they came down off the adrenaline high: _Stay

* * *

Kara collapsed against Lee's chest, letting herself come down from the high. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was what had to happen. They had been dancing around this attraction for years, and she just got tired of fighting it. They were hopped up from the Cylon dogfight at the end of their CAP, and the adrenaline wasn't going away any time soon. She was trying to be resourceful and kill two problems at once. She would get rid of the high and get this whole Lee thing out of her system.

Lee's look of understanding when she slipped through his bunk curtain told her she wasn't alone.

His throat cleared, making Kara extremely aware of the discomfort in the moments after. She had always had a problem slipping away from men. They never wanted to let the situation be what it was, a one time thing, one she couldn't repeat because she was Kara Thrace. She couldn't be tied down.

Kara stretched her back to work out a kink and suddenly realized that Lee was still inside her. She was so completely content that she forgot to disengage. "Sorry," she muttered, pulling herself off of him.

She settled at the end of the bunk and felt around for her tanks and shorts. She could feel Lee's eyes on her body. She felt an ache start down in her belly as she remembered what that intense stare forced her to do only an hour earlier. She was still trying to catch her breath, and yet she wanted him again.

Her clothes were pulled on as quickly as she could managed, and she was halfway out the curtain when she felt his hand wrapping around her wrist. She let him pull her back into the bunk. It only took one word for Kara to know this wasn't just some thoughtless frak as they came down off the adrenaline high: _Stay._

She had had many men ask her to stay, but she had never given in. She wasn't the type of girl who stayed after the frak. That was the thought running through Kara's head as she felt Lee pull her tanks over her head again. His rough fingers skimmed the skin of her stomach before looping in the waist of her shorts. Kara lifted her body up to let him slide the material down.

When she was completely naked again, that intense stare of his started up again. After a moment, Lee lifted the corner of the blankets and pulled her down against him. His voice cut through the silence. "I have to know one thing." Kara felt him take a deep breath. He was nervous. "Is this what you want?"

Kara knew this was his way of giving her an out. He knew her style. He knew she didn't do this kind of thing. He was right in a lot of ways, but there was one thing he forgot. She only left because the man wasn't important enough to make her stay. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you are."

Kara felt a gentle pressure on the top of her head as he leaned in to kiss her. Her arms tightened around his waist. She should have stayed with Lee a lot sooner.


	24. Breathe

_Her stomach dropped out when the Commander told her that her mother had been found alive on the Aerelon Traveler, but when Kara felt Lee slip his hand into hers and as his soft voice in her ear urged her to breathe, she knew that somehow everything would be all right._

* * *

Kara had no clue why the Old Man was waiting for her as she landed from CAP, but she knew it couldn't be good. As she was powering down, she went over all this things this might be about. She had stolen Hot Dog's underwear the last time he was in the showers, but they had settled that on their own terms. She had Racetrack doing all of her maintenance shifts this week, but that was justified by the IOW Kara had sitting in her locker. She hadn't mocked Tigh lately, and she had even stopped calling Lee Golden Boy.

As she hopped off the landing stairs, she suddenly remembered that she had blackmailed Duck into talking with the nuggets and exaggerating the brutality of her teaching methods. She thought it would be funny. She didn't know the nuggets would believe Duck. Kara was already in the middle of an apology when the serious look on the Old Man's face stopped her in her tracks.

Her stomach dropped out when the Commander told her that her mother had been found alive on the Aerelon Traveler, but when Kara felt Lee slip his hand into hers and as his soft voice in her ear urged her to breathe, she knew that somehow everything would be all right.

She hadn't heard Lee make his way to her side, but she was never so glad to know he was there. She stood frozen as Lee started asking the right questions. How did she get on a ship in the Fleet? Where had she been the past few years? Why were they only finding out now?

The Old Man answered as best he could. They didn't know why Sarah Thrace was in the Fleet. She had given the Marines who found her on the Aerelon Traveler some story about trying to track down an old family friend. Considering the reputation the freighter had gained for being the place to go if you needed a fix, Adama was pretty sure that Kara's mother was lying.

Kara gave a small nod of agreement and stayed silent as Adama continued.

"I spoke with her over the wireless a few hours ago, Kara. She claims that she had no idea Galactica was the battlestar you were stationed on."

"Bull shit!" Lee hissed.

Kara squeezed his hand and decided it was time for her to stop letting him do all the work. "She's telling the truth, Lee. I haven't spoken to her since I was old enough to go to Academy. She knew I was a pilot, but I don't think anyone ever told her about my assignment." Kara let go of Lee's hand and crossed her arms in front of her. "So, does mommy dearest want to see me?"

"Let's not talk about this right now," Adama said, glancing around the hangar. "Get a shower, change, and meet me in my office in an hour."

Kara snapped off a quick salute and was halfway to the bunkroom when she realized Lee was following her. "What the frak do you want?" she hissed.

Lee froze in place. "I thought you might want someone to help you digest your mother being alive. My father's going to be worried about you, Kara, but he's also going to want a decision on whether you're going to go see her or not. I figured I could be an objective audience while you made that decision."

"There's nothing to talk about, Lee. So just go away."

Lee took a step forward. "Kara…"

"I don't need you, Lee," she reiterated. "I'm fine."

Lee narrowed his eyes but took a step back. Kara didn't stick around to figure out if he was really giving up or just taking a pause. She had an hour to clean-up.

Kara settled back into a familiar routine of glares and growls. It was effective in keeping everyone away from her. She knew that she was ignoring the problem, but she didn't care. She had been ignoring the problem for years, and it had never backfired. She would just go with her instinct when the time came.

All she knew was that seeing her mother wasn't going to change anything. Kara had worked hard to leave her past behind. She sacrificed to get this life, and gods be damned, she was not going to give it up.

It was with that determination that she strode into the Commander's office and, flopping down on the couch, said she was not doing it. She was not going to waste hours of her life for something that had no real point or purpose.

Adama listened to her rant on and on about her reasoning until she finally ran out of air. He took a deep breath and then told her she was wrong. "You are going to see this woman, Kara. At some point, you'll run in to her. It might be when you're on leave or a mission might put you on the same ship. Regardless, you can't avoid her."

"What are you suggesting, sir?"

"I'm suggesting you check Kara at the door and show her a little of who Starbuck is. Face this woman on your own terms. You initiate, you terminate. Show her that things are not the same as when you were small. You're in charge of your life. You have been for a long while, Kara."

Kara let herself take a good look at the man in front of her. William Adama had been a father to her ever since Zak died. He took care of her, giving her a home and a place to feel she belonged. He knew her better than almost anyone else.

He thought she was strong enough to do this. He was almost right.

"Sir, can I request something?"

Adama nodded almost immediately. At this point, he would give her anything.

"Can it be arranged… I mean, I know it's going to be hard, but I feel like… I'll help with the shifting of the schedule…"

Adama reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. "Kara."

"Can I take Lee with me?"

Adama stared at her for a moment, taking in her body language. Her knees were tilted in toward each other, and she had her hands in her lap, distractedly picking at her fingernails. Her head was bowed almost as if she didn't want to see his reaction. It reminded him of when Lee was young. Lee had a habit of breaking things and then hiding them until the guilt got to be too much. He would sit just like that when he was admitting what he was done.

Kara looked as innocent as a child right now. Adama decided that all things considered she had a lot in common with a child right now. There were things Kara didn't know about the situation like the fact her mother had sounded like she was at the end of a particularly bad bender when she phoned him earlier. Adama didn't want her to know that her mother probably only wanted to beg money from her daughter. Kara needed to find that out for herself. She needed to be the one to make the decision to push her mother out of her life. It couldn't be the other way around like before.

There was no rule that she had to be alone when she did it, though.

Adama was glad she had been the one to ask for Lee. It would have been awkward in any other way.

It wasn't that he thought Lee would object. His son just spent the last hour sitting in the same spot that Kara was currently occupying. He had gone on and on about how worried he was that Kara couldn't handle this. He pointed out how vulnerable she was since injuring her knee and how happy she had been since the successful mission on the tylium asteroid. Adama knew all those things were true, but he couldn't help pointing out that this was Kara's choice to make.

Lee had stomped out of his office, completely furious. Adama figured that was about right. His talks with his son usually ended in anger and frustration.

"I'll change up the flight schedule myself. How soon do you want to see her?"

"Today would be nice. I'd like to get it out of the way, sir."

"Done," Adama said, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Kara leaned in to give his cheek a quick kiss and then was out the hatch door. Adama smiled. She would be fine. Lee would make sure of that.

"Do you think I should have changed?" Kara asked, fingering the hem of her tanks.

Lee looked over her outfit. It was the normal colonial issue tanks/sweatshirt/cargos combination. It was nearly identical to what he was wearing. "Do you think you should be wearing a dress or something?"

Kara glared at him in response.

"You look fine, Kara," he offered. "In fact, you look like you normally do. That shows your mother that she's not going to frak up what you have. She's not going to change you."

The Raptor clunked down and connected with the docking station on the Aerelon Traveler. Lee winced as Kara jumped. She stayed tense even after the ramp was lowered and the pilot was giving them looks that clearly said she wanted them out so she could continue on with her route.

"Kara," Lee whispered after a few seconds.

"I'm scared, Lee."

Lee nodded. He had gotten bits and pieces about Sarah Thrace and her relationship to Kara in the years since Zak had introduced them. He knew that Kara had a right to be scared. "I know you told my dad you wanted to do this, but you can back out. We can stay on this Raptor and just ride as passengers for the rest of Two-Ten's route."

"No, I need to do this," Kara said. She bit down on her lip in determination and got to her feet.

Lee followed her out on the freighter. It only took a few inquiries to figure out that Sarah Thrace was known for partying hard in the freighter's bar before retreating back to her room to shoot up. Lee had hoped that the presence of Kara's mother on this particular ship was just a coincidence, but it obviously wasn't meant to be.

"Don't worry," Kara whispered reassuringly in a frightening blank tone. "My mother is pretty coherent when she's been using. Drugs, alcohol, it didn't matter. She always knew when I was doing something wrong."

Lee tried to keep from reacting. There was going to be a lot of moments like this in the next few hour, and he needed to be strong.

It only took three knocks to get Sarah Thrace to the door. When she opened it, her whole demeanor changed. She went from being a small woman, obviously hopped up on some sort of stim, to being a rather intimidating figure. "I wondered when you'd get around to this."

Lee felt Kara freeze up beside him and reached down to grasp her hand. That small show of support seemed to snap her out of it. "Can we come in?"

Kara didn't wait for her mother's answer. She just pushed her way inside, and Lee had no other choice but to follow. He heard the door slam behind him and knew that this was not getting off to a good start.

"So I'm here," Kara said, crossing her arms in front of her. Lee was proud of how defiantly strong she looked.

"You're here."

"Commander Adama said you wanted to see me."

Sarah Thrace watched her daughter for a moment before turning to pour herself a glass of some rather raunchy looking alcohol. "So who the frak is this guy?"

Kara stiffened. She wasn't stupid. She knew that question was going to come up at some point. Lee was an attractive man, and her mother always liked attractive men. However, she hadn't expected her mother to get to the topic of who Lee was quite so early on.

"Is this just another guy you're using to frak your way to the top?" Sarah turned to smile at Lee. "Like mother, like daughter, isn't that what they say?"

Lee wasn't sure what came over him. He watched Kara's shoulders droop a little as her mother's insults kept coming. It hadn't taken long for things to get out of hand. He struggled to find something to say to put Sarah Thrace in her place. The last thing he wanted anyone to think was that Kara had gotten to the position she was at because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants.

"He's cute, Kara, so I guess if you had to whore yourself out, you made a good choice."

"You need to stop talking about your daughter like that," Lee growled.

"Or what?" Sarah Thrace stared at him a moment before chuckling and walking over to face her daughter. "Who is this guy?"

Kara's mouth dropped open, and Lee could see her struggling for words. He couldn't let her be broken like this. There was only one thing he could think of to say, and even though he knew it was absolutely the last thing he should be saying, the words flew from his mouth. "I'm the man who's hopelessly in love with your daughter."

Lee winced, and he turned in time to see Kara's eyes go wide. Her mouth was still hanging open but for a completely different reason now. He could not believe he had just fraking said that. Lee had been struggling with what he felt for Kara for so long. He knew it was inappropriate so he kept it a secret so that she wouldn't laugh in his face. It was always easier that way.

Lately, he had started to wonder if maybe she felt the same for him. It was little things like the way she let him help her with the physical therapy for her knee or the fact that she kept bringing him coffee on the mornings she knew he had to plan the next flight schedule. Or the fact that she came up to him the day before and did a little dance of joy as she told him Cottle had cleared her to start running in the corridors again. It had taken Lee a few hours to realize she was saying she wanted to go running with him.

And then there was the tylium mission. When she had handed him that cigar, something shifted. She smiled, and it was different than before. It made him have thoughts he shouldn't be having.

Those thoughts were what led up to his little outburst.

Sarah Thrace's laugh snapped Lee away from staring at Kara's look of complete shock. Lee had never heard a cackle before, but that's what it sounded like. "Are you fraking kidding me? You love her?"

"I do," Lee said, knowing that he had no way of getting himself out of this one.

"Kara, is this true?"

Kara just kept staring at Lee.

"You're worthless," Sarah Thrace said. She walked over to her daughter and yanked her hand out into the air between them. "Tell me this. If you're so in love with my daughter, then why the frak isn't she wearing a ring?" Sarah started to laugh again. "Silly girl. I always told you men lied. He's just using you for as long as you're willing to frak him."

"We haven't slept together," Kara whispered, knowing this was probably not the comment she should pick to start responding to.

"You don't have to sleep to frak. Still, didn't I teach you anything? Whoring yourself isn't going to accomplish anything. If you find a man who has money or rank, you use what you have to trap him. Keep yourself living a comfortable life."

Lee felt the disgust wash over him and tried to keep control of his temper. He stepped forward to pull Kara's hand away from her mother's grasp. "I thought I told you that you needed to stop."

"You have no right to talk to me like that," Sarah Thrace slurred. "I am this girl's mother. Who the frak are you? You're not even man enough to make her an honest woman."

Lee knew he was too angry to stop now and just hoped Kara would be gentle with his heart later when they were alone. "I would join myself to your daughter in a second if I thought she would let me."

Kara felt Lee's arm tighten around her, and she realized she needed to put an end to this before Lee started creating lies that he couldn't back up. He looked so angry she wouldn't be surprised if he decided to kiss her to prove his point. She couldn't take that right now. She didn't have the strength to pick up the pieces of her heart when this was all over.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, the sadness heavy in her voice.

"I just wanted to see you, dear." Sarah Thrace took a few steps forward but stopped when she saw the threatening look on Lee's face. "I thought you were dead, Kara."

"That's funny." Lee felt his heart soar as that familiar smile of hers played at the corner of her mouth. "Because I hoped you were dead."

"You don't mean that."

"I do." Kara pulled away from Lee. She needed to do this on her own. "I spent so many years thinking that the only reason you punished me was because you loved me. It frakked me up, made me think that pain was the way people showed their love. It took a rather extraordinary man to change my mind and then it took his older brother to prove to me it wasn't a fluke. Even if I screwed up something fierce, I was still worth something." Kara inched her way closer until she was standing nose to nose with her mother. "So you see, I don't need you or your little bits of wisdom anymore, Mom. I'm fine on my own."

Kara looked at Lee for a moment and nodded. "I'm ready to go."

Lee put his hand on the small of her back and led her out of the room. He paused at the doorway and turned back. "If you know what's good for you, you won't try to contact Kara again. She has a new family now, and we could make it so that no one even remembers you surviving the holocaust. You would just disappear."

Kara smiled to herself as she heard her mother start swearing. Sarah Thrace had never been a fan of threats. Hopefully, she could see this particular threat was not an empty one. For her own good, she should stay away.

"Thank you, Lee," Kara whispered as they began walking back to the docking area.

"Anytime," Lee said, sliding his arm back around her shoulders. "What are friends for?"

Kara let herself snuggle in closer to his side. She couldn't wait to go home.

Kara sat at her desk and stared at the paper in front of her. This was the first and last communication she would ever have with her mother.

Sarah Thrace had listened to Lee's threat. She never once tried to contact her daughter, and pretty soon all evidence of her existence faded away. Kara knew she was still out there somewhere, though.

Kara smiled to herself and ran her finger over the embossed words on the card in front of her.

_Admiral William Adama is happy to announce the marriage of his son, Major Lee Adama, to Captain Kara Thrace on this seven-hundredth-sixty-third day post-destruction._

Kara picked a pen up and started scribbling. She couldn't help but read the words out loud as she wrote. "Please don't think I sent this as an invitation back into my life. I just wanted you to know that I did something right with my life by not listening to one thing you ever taught me. He's making an honest woman out of me, Mom, but only because he loves me."

Kara shut her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, "I do owe you at least partial thanks. Without my little visit to see you, I would never have known that Lee loved me."

Kara smiled at the memory. She hadn't believed Lee that day when he told her mother that he was hopelessly in love with her. Then he repeated it when they were dancing on Colonial Day. And when she was trying to fix up the Raider to make the jump to Caprica. And when she returned home. And when they almost died in that firing range. And when they both got transferred to Pegasus.

When he almost died, Kara figured it was her turn to say it.

Kara smiled and finished up what she was writing. She had a honeymoon to go on. "Thank you for doing right by me in the end."

She slid the card into an envelope and addressed it to the Aerelon Traveler. She didn't care if her mother ever got the message. She wasn't doing this for Sarah Thrace.

A soft knock on the open hatch made her look up, and she smiled at her husband. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Kara slid the envelope to the side. She'd send it later. "Never better."


	25. Bias

_Lee knew he was biased when he assigned the mission to Kara, but honestly he just wanted to see her in heels one more time before he died so he could know that flare of desire wasn't just in his dreams._

* * *

Lee knew he was biased when he assigned the mission to Kara, but honestly he just wanted to see her in heels one more time before he died so he could know that flare of desire wasn't just in his dreams.

When she came into his office after the job was done, he started rethinking his decision. The black dress was hugging the curves of her body like a second skin. And the heels? The heels made her legs look like they went on for miles. Her hair was lying loose on her shoulders, and Lee could just imagine how fantastic it would smell.

In a nutshell, she was trouble personified.

And he had sent her out into an unsuspecting world.

"Going to say something, Adama?" Kara said, giving him that grin of hers as she slinked over to his desk.

Lee tried to keep his eyes off of her body, but somehow they kept being drawn back to her extremely low-cut dress. He suddenly realized that zip sweatshirt she always wore was conservative compared to this new outfit. "Mission accomplished?"

"With ease. You should have seen those guys on the Prometheus. They were salivating from the second I walked into the room." Kara took a seat on the edge of his desk and smiled when she saw his gaze drift down to the way her skirt was riding up. "Something tells me that you had a hand in choosing this outfit."

"I chose the heels. The mission planning staff did the rest."

Kara's eyebrows shot up. She had been joking. She really didn't think that Lee had had a part in picking out this ridiculously trampy outfit. "Are you sure? Because when I saw what they gave me to put under it, my mind jumped to you."

Lee fought the urge to ask her to show him what she meant. He dug his fingers into his thighs underneath the desk as he willed himself to calm down. He was going to have to stand up at some point, and he did not want Kara to see the little surprise he was currently growing in his pants.

Kara slid her body across the desk until she sat right in front of him. Spreading her legs, she dug both heels into the arms of his desk chair. Lee was proud of himself. He actually made it five seconds before trailing his gaze up the smooth skin of her calf to her equally attractive thigh and finally to the small scrap of black he could see covering areas of her body he had no right to be looking at.

Kara's hand came out to tilt his chin up until his eyes met hers again. "I forgot how much of a guy you are sometimes."

"Well, when you keep toying with me like that, Kara, I tend to forget that it's you."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and Lee let out a sigh of relief. The mood was broken. He could calm himself down now. Kara slid off the desk and stretched her body out. Lee tried to focus on his work before he got himself in trouble again.

"I guess you're too busy to hear my report," Kara said.

Lee kept staring at the papers in front of him. "I have loads to do."

He heard the soft clack of Kara's shoes on the metal floor. When the sound of the hatch clanging shut echoed through his office, Lee let out a deep sigh. That had been close.

"You deserve a break, sir."

Lee's eyes went wide to see that Kara was still standing in his office. As if to make her point clear, she turned the lock on the hatch.

"What are you doing, Kara?"

Kara smiled at Lee before reaching up to push the straps of her dress off her shoulders. "I really think you should see what they rounded up for under this dress."

Lee was about to protest when the dress that had been clinging so tightly to her curves fell off her body with ease. He wasn't really sure what he was looking at. He couldn't concentrate that well. All he knew was it was black and lacy and barely there.

"You like?" Kara whispered.

Lee couldn't hold back the nod.

She kicked the dress away from her feet and slowly made her way back over to stand in front of him. Lee was intoxicated by the way her hips moved to the rhythm of her body. Kara let him look his fill before lifting herself onto his desk. She crawled the few inches it took to put her face close to his. Her breath teased the curve of his neck as she leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I have a confession to make, Lee."

"What's that?"

"I lied. The guys down in mission planning only chose the dress. The rest was all me."

Her voice was a gentle purring in his ear, and Lee could feel himself getting harder. "I thought you said it reminded you of me."

"It does." Kara ran a hand through his hair and smiled. "Every single time I wear them, I'm reminded of you."

Lee fought the urge to come on the spot.

Kara leaned back on her heels. Lee watched in awe as she moved her hand behind her back. With a small snap, the clasp of the bra was undone and she was barely holding the thin black material on with her wrist. He knew she was waiting for him to stop her. They were always playing this little power struggle with one another.

"You don't want me to stop, do you?"

Kara's words snapped his attention back up to her face. As an answer, he stood up out of his seat and pull her arms down. The lacey bra fell to the floor. Kara felt her face flush. Lee's eyes were heating up her skin.

She was about to crack a joke when he lowered his mouth to trail a line of kisses along her collarbone. Her hands came up to cradle his head, and she thanked the gods that she was sitting on a desk. His mouth teased slow circles around first one breast and then the other. She found herself squirming against his touch and then fighting to not cry out when he finally took her nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly. He whispered soft words against her skin that she couldn't quite make out but she knew whatever he was saying, it was good.

Lee leaned their bodies back until Kara was laid across the length of his desk. There was paperwork all over, but he honestly didn't care right now. He ran his hands down her stomach as he shifted to suck her bottom lip. She opened her mouth to him, and Lee knew there was no chance of stopping this anymore.

His hands sought out the small scrap of silk still covering her, and he ran a finger along her folds. He could feel her body bucking against his desk and knew that as much as he wanted to stretch this out, he was already too far gone.

Kara's hand moved from the back of his head to reach down to the fly of his pants. She quickly unzipped him and pushed her fingers inside to pull him in hand. Lee cursed the fact that he hadn't joined her on the desk. His knees were going to give out if she kept stroking him like that.

Lee pulled back to rest his forehead against her temple. "I think I feel asleep over those reports."

Kara let out a soft laugh. Her whole body shook against his. "This is not a dream… sir."

Lee fought the urge to pull his pants down and start fraking her right here, right now. She must know what bringing up his superior rank would do that to him. Fine, she could play with him, but he wasn't going to let her have the pleasure of succeeding. He shifted back so that her hand was too far away to keep tormenting him.

His hand came out to tickle her stomach, taking time to lightly caress the scars she gained on Caprica. "Keep going," she urged him.

Lee slid the panties down off her hips and threw them across the room. He drank in the sight of her naked body, spread out on the surface he worked on every day, and then he finally locked eyes with hers. "What do you want from this, Kara?"

"I thought that was obvious."

Lee shook his head. Knowing Kara, this could range from her wanting to take their relationship to the next level to wanting him to use his tongue to work her into an oblivion.

She licked her lips and smiled up at him. Her voice was even and controlled, a direct contrast to the way Lee's insides were churning. "I want you to frak me, Lee. I want to feel you push yourself deep inside me. I want you to admit that that was what you wanted to do since the second you saw me in that dress. I want you to work me hard and fast, and I want you to make me scream."

Lee took a step back and pushed his jacket to the floor. His tanks and pants soon followed. He didn't need much more of an invitation than that.

As he was sliding his underwear of his body, he noticed Kara had sat up on the desk. She was unbuckling her shoes. "No," he hissed. Her eyes shot up to look at him. "Leave those on."

Kara smiled at him and swung her legs to hang off the edge of his desk. When he finally got his briefs off, she spread her legs and crooked a finger. Lee didn't have to be told twice.

He grasped both of her legs behind her knees and tugged her the last few inches until she was flush against him. He could already feel her teetering on the edge, and it suddenly occurred to him that maybe this wasn't only about letting him live out the rest of his fantasy. Maybe she really did want this, too.

Kara moved her hands down to position him at her opening and hissed as he took his cue to push himself into her. It was only a few inches, but it felt deliciously right. She had just adjusted to the intrusion when Lee leaned to kiss the top of her breast. She brought her hands up to cradle his head as he used his tongue to explore every inch of her chest.

His teeth bit down on the side of her breast as he finally pushed himself all the way inside of her. She was taken completely off guard which was why her orgasm ripped through her from head to toe.

Lee let her ride it out before he started moving. The heels of Kara's shoes cut into his back as she leaned back on the desk, tightening the angle. Lee felt the difference immediately and he barely had time to warn her to hang on before he started giving her what she wanted.

He could feel their bodies slamming together and knew there would be bruises in the morning. Gods, they would be lucky if they could even walk. She was growling under her breath, urging him on, so Lee didn't care how much it hurt. He wanted this.

Lee fought to stay in control until he finally felt the tension in Kara's body break. The sound of her screams mingled with his moans as he released himself inside of her.

They clung to each other as the need to breathe finally overpowered the urge to not move one muscle.

"Did I tell you that I liked your shoes?" Lee whispered in her ear, earning himself the pleasure of feeling her body shake with laughter.


	26. Thousand

_Lee held the diamond ring out to Kara and gave her his bravest smile, "One thousand Cylon-free days was what you told me it would take for you to say yes, so here I am."_

* * *

Lee was pretty sure he had never run this fast in his life, not even the time when he was nine and broke his mother's favorite vase. Then again, it wasn't everyday that your best pilot stole the parameters for a mission you had to be ready for in under an hour and you hadn't even started reviewing them until a few minutes earlier. "Fraking come back, Kara," he yelled.

His swears echoed off the corridor walls, earning him a few strange looks from the passing crewmen. Lee didn't have time to notice. Kara was already barreling her way into their bunkroom, and if she got more than a second alone, those parameters would be hidden somewhere he would never find them.

Luckily, he had sprinted the last few yards and cut the distance between them by half. When he entered the bunkroom, the papers were still in her hands. "Kara."

"Lee."

"Kara." He said inching towards her.

She took a few steps away and smiled. "You really shouldn't have put off doing your homework."

"I would be doing it right now if you hadn't stolen it," Lee pointed out.

"Smart people did this last night."

"Well if smart people did this last night, maybe you and I should go over it together. I wouldn't want both of us to have no idea what's going on."

Kara stuck her tongue out at him, and it was the opening he had been waiting for. He launched himself across the table in the middle of the bunkroom and tackled her into her bunk. His hands naturally drifted to her waist and started tickling. The result was instantaneous and quite painful. Kara's foot connected first with his shin, then his stomach, and finally his groin. Lee ignored the pain. He needed those papers back.

She panted for him to stop but still held the papers tightly to her chest. Lee paused a moment to shift his body so that he had both her legs pinned to the mattress and then doubled up the tickling intensity. He thought Kara was going to choke as the laughter took over every inch of her body. When her fists stopped hitting him and started slapping in vain, he knew he had won.

Smirking, he pulled the papers away from her chest and threw them on the floor. He was too tired to review them now. He collapsed next to her on the mattress and sighed. "You never change Kara. Always moving, always fighting."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her body tense and wondered what he had said wrong this time.

Kara gave his arm a smack like she knew he expected her to and then let her body relax against the soft blankets on her bunk. Her eyes slid shut as she thought over his little comment. She was always constantly in motion, fighting whomever or whatever got in her path. It was what had kept her alive for so many years. That didn't mean it was what she wanted. Truth be told, she was tired of fighting.

And she wasn't the only one.

Lee had been the one to break the news to her earlier that day. Karl and Meg were leaving the military. They were resigning their posts and settling down together on one of the civilian ships now that the necessity for Raptor pilots was starting to bottom out. The Fleet needed Viper pilots, not Raptors, which in Kara's mind was just the gods' way of being cruel to her yet again.

Kara hadn't understood what Lee was trying to tell her at first. When she did figure it out, she tore the ship up trying to find Helo. His explanation was simple. He was tired. After Sharon's death in the fight for New Caprica, he didn't have much to live for. Then Meg came into his life and he didn't want to look back. He didn't want to be at the center of this fight anymore. He just wanted to get married, start a family, and be left alone.

Kara couldn't argue. It was exactly what she wanted. Only she didn't know how she could go about getting it. Things like that had never been easy for her like they had been for Karl.

She ran Lee's words through her head again, trying to figure out what he meant. "Are you asking me when I'm going to settle down?"

Lee paused before whispering, "I think so."

Kara twisted her head to look at him. "Give me one thousand Cylon-free days."

She had said it half-jokingly, but she knew she was dead serious. If the Cylons went away, she would have no excuse to keep fighting. She could let herself be happy and settled and content.

It became a running joke between the two of them.

They would be doing paperwork together and he would suddenly look up and ask her to marry him.

She would come into the bunkroom after showering, and his response was to exclaim that he was seeing a goddess in human form. He would get down on his knees and beg this goddess to spend the rest of her mortal life with him.

She would wake up from a nightmare to find he had drawn her curtain back and was just watching her. They would stare at each other for a few moments before he whispered, "Marry me." That was the only time where it actually felt real.

The crew seemed to get as much of a kick out of his constant proposals as Kara did. They started the nasty habit of groaning every time she shook her head and reminded him, "One thousand days." No one really knew what that meant. They only knew it meant no.

Kara hadn't realized how accustomed she had gotten to their little game until it stopped. First, she thought that Lee had just gotten too busy, what with their finding the thirteenth colony and everything. Then days went by and he still hadn't proposed.

It didn't take long for Kara to understand that she had been foolish. Sometime in the past year, she let herself believe Lee was serious when he asked her to marry him. Sometime in the past year, she had actually let herself believe she would say yes.

Now that she was ready to say yes, Lee wasn't asking. They had found the thirteenth colony, and he had stopped asking.

It wasn't until this morning, three years after they found the thirteenth colony, that she figured out the real reason why.

Lee wasn't asking. He was _counting_.

Lee held the diamond ring out to Kara and gave her his bravest smile, "One thousand Cylon-free days was what you told me it would take for you to say yes, so here I am."

Kara opened her mouth and tried to say something, but she couldn't. She looked around the hangar. Most of the pilots and crew were here for the official decommissioning ceremony. The Old Man was at the podium about to give his speech. Everyone was staring at them. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

Lee stood up from his seat. "I'm asking you to marry me, Kara. For real this time."

Kara's eyes went wide as Lee kneeled down in front of her. Everything suddenly clicked into place. The words she had half-jokingly said that day, the words that she had seriously meant somewhere deep inside, he had listened. He had understood.

"Marry me, Kara."

His words snapped her eyes back to meet his. Grinning wider than ever before, she nodded. She waited until Lee had slipped the ring on her finger before flinging herself into his arms. The kiss they shared was so loud and full of passion that Kara barely heard the cat calls from all around her.

When she finally broke away from him, she find her smile was echoing his own. "We're really going to do this?"

"We're really going to do this," Lee said, squeezing her tight against him before letting her go. They sat back down in their seats, and Kara tried to ignore the fact that most people were still staring.

William Adama's voice echoed through the hangar. "I was going to start off this speech by saying today was as close to a perfect day as we could get, but I was wrong. Today is the perfect day…"


	27. Balcony

_Kara stepped out onto the balcony of her classroom at the Academy and shut her eyes as dangerous thoughts started creeping into her head; Zak should never have told her Lee was back in town._

* * *

Kara stepped out onto the balcony of her classroom at the Academy and shut her eyes as dangerous thoughts started creeping into her head; Zak should never have told her Lee was back in town. Now that she knew he was here, that old familiar feeling had started creeping up on her.

She had known Lee for a year now. Zak had introduced the two of them as soon as he and Kara decided to get serious with whatever was happening between them. He said that he knew once Lee and Kara met, they couldn't help but be friends. Zak was right. She and Lee were two peas in a pod the second their eyes met.

Kara was actually glad that Zak was already a part of her life before Lee. It made it easy to explain her relationship with the eldest Adama. Kara and Lee were like fire and ice when you got down to it. They were the same when it came to bragging about their skills in the cockpit or their dedication to the people and things they loved, but the similarities ended there.

Kara was a spitball when she got riled up, all passion and fire and spunk. Lee was a steel wall, keeping his lips tightly sealed and his eyes on the target. They would both lash out eventually with what inevitably would be a right hook, but they took separate paths getting there.

With Zak around, it was just the older brother laughing and joking with the girlfriend. That was easy to explain.

The breeze carried the voice of a rowdy group of nuggets to her ears, and Kara smiled. As much as she complained, she did love this job. It had hurt her at first when she couldn't get a battlestar commission after graduation, but she realized that the gods knew what they were doing. She had a flare for teaching.

"Lieutenant Thrace!"

Kara looked down to see the group of nuggets had paused underneath where she stood. She recognized a few of them from her new Basic Maneuvering class. "I thought I told you nuggets to call me god." Even one story up, she could see the students rolling their eyes. "What do you need?"

"Some guy down at the open simulators was asking about you."

Kara gave them a nod of dismissal. _Some guy… that was an interesting way of putting it._ The nuggets moved on, leaving her to her thoughts.

Lee hadn't always been trouble, not in the way most people assumed. She wasn't blind. She saw the way women turned to stare at him when he entered a bar, the way men glared when his eyes scanned the room. He was one of the most attractive men Kara had ever met, but he wasn't Zak. She loved Zak. She appreciated Lee.

Things had started shifting, though, so slow that she didn't even realize it until too late. Zak was right. Lee was the type of man that Kara gravitated to… as a friend. That was evidenced the second time he visited Picon for his brother's birthday. Kara got into trouble with a few thugs at her favorite bar, and before she could blink, she and Lee were in the Academy brig for drunk and disorderly. Zak had waited twenty-four hours before bailing them out. He thought it was funny.

Looking back, it was that day of freedom that started shifting things about in her head. She did her best to keep everything straight, but Zak kept insisting his brother use his leave passes to come to Picon. She managed to find reasons to keep her presence scarce when Lee was around. She had classes to teach, nuggets to flunk. She had to visit an old Academy friend on Leonis. She was recruiting on Virgon.

It had worked up until the last time Lee visited. Looking back, he really should have called ahead to let his brother know he was coming. Maybe then Zak would have canceled his trip to visit their mother on Caprica.

To make a long story short, Lee showed up on her doorstep to find the girlfriend at home but the younger brother nowhere in sight. Kara had apologized, and Lee had smiled. He told her he was going to stay at the Academy, maybe pick up a few extra dollars guest-lecturing a class or two. He had reached in to give her a small kiss goodbye and that was it.

Kara shook her head as her grip tightened around the railing. That was _supposed to_ be it, but in the end, it wasn't. Kara's eyes slid shut as her mind went back six months to what had almost been.

* * *

Kara felt the sun fall on the side of her face as she woke up. Sighing, she shifted to stare up at the ceiling. A small voice was tugging at the back of her mind. "This is a mistake, Kara. Don't do it." She shut her eyes and wasn't surprised when sleep didn't come.

The exasperated groan also didn't take her by surprise as it echoed off the walls of her apartment. She was used to these knee-jerk, gut reactions to misbehave. They had been happening to her for as long as she could remember.

Her hands hit the mattress with a loud smack as she pulled herself up. Her feet touched the cold floor, but she didn't flinch. The shower was quick. She had made up her mind to do this, and something told her if she paused for even a second, she would realize how reckless she was being.

Kara let the towel fall to the ground and pushed open the closet. She should be walking over to her bureau and taking out two of her endless supply of tanks. Her cargoes from the day before were sitting on the floor. Sighing, she ran her hand along the soft material of the skirt hanging in front of her. "This is such a mistake."

It only took her a few minutes to dress. Lee wasn't the type of guy to care if she applied makeup and styled her hair. He probably wouldn't even notice. Besides, she felt a lot less guilty about this if it was spur of the moment.

Kara shook her head as she grabbed the keys to her apartment and headed out the door. Real spur of the moment, Thrace. You knew this was going to happen the second you woke up half an hour ago. You knew it the second you remembered Zak mentioning his big brother liked to go out for these rows in the early, early morning.

The walk to the lake on the Academy campus was relaxing. It felt like no one was around, and that was something Kara had never experienced. Her eyes drifted across the water until she saw him.

Lee was maneuvering the only boat on the lake. She could feel his concentration as he worked to keep the boat under control. Her eyes drifted over the tanned skin of his arms and torso as the muscles strained through the motions. If anything, she suddenly understood where the call sign had come from.

Kara knew the exact moment he spotted her. There was a small falter in the rhythm, barely noticeable if she hadn't been watching him so intently. She felt her right hand come up in a small wave. His lips turned up in the start a smile, and Kara watched him angle the boat towards the shore.

The boat slid to a stop, and she waited until he pulled the oars up out of the water before taking the last few steps to the lake's edge. "Want to go for a walk?"

Lee gave a small nod and jumped down into the water. He pulled the boat up onto the shore before reaching in to grab his shirt. Kara focused her attention on the calm breeze flowing through the trees surrounding the lake until she felt him beside her.

"Early morning?"

"Couldn't sleep," she said, knowing it was a lie.

"I hope you don't feel obligated to entertain me."

"I don't."

"I should have called."

Kara looked at him out of the corner of her eye and smirked. "Yeah, you really should have."

"How's Zak been doing?"

"He's struggling, Lee, but I'm sure you already know that."

"Still can't get the landings?"

"No, and I can't figure out why. He knows the necessary maneuvers. He practically recites the sequence in his sleep. Get him in a simulator, though, and it all just slips away."

"Do you think he'll ever get it?"

Kara paused, wondering if she should lie. Lee was the whole reason Zak entered flight school. He was desperate to prove to himself and to his family that he could be just as successful as his older brother. The least she could do is play the part of supporting girlfriend, tell his brother that he was going to be just fine. "I don't know."

They continued on in silence, and Kara wondered when things had gotten so heavy between them. Why, no matter how hard she tried, could she not pinpoint the point of change? Granted, she knew that it had changed during their twenty-four hour stint in the brig on Zak's birthday, but she had no idea why that particular moment had snowballed into this hot discomfort.

Not knowing what else to do to break the awkward moment, Kara focused on the way the sun was heating her skin. "Is it always nice this early in the morning?"

"Yeah, it is. You should really try to cut down on the drinking and brawling. Maybe you could have figured it out on your own."

"Ha fraking ha," Kara hissed. She meant her tone to come out as slightly annoyed but instead found it to be slightly amused. Lee had that effect on her.

"So I heard your class got canceled for this weekend?"

"I figured the children needed a break. I've been running them pretty hard."

"What excuse did you give them?"

Kara paused to give him a strange look. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I think your authority would seriously be undermined if your students actually knew you had feelings. I mean, a weekend off because they were bottoming out? That's awful compassionate of a woman who insists they refer to her as god."

She let him worry for a minute that he had gone a little too far before smiling. "I told them even god needs a break from their incessant whining. They think that I'm off catching the Panthers away game on Gemenon."

"I see." Lee gave her a small nod and started walking again, assuming now that the misunderstanding was cleared up they would be continuing on.

Kara had one of her sandals off before he realized she wasn't following. "I like to feel the grass between my toes," she explained. Smiling, she jogged to his side and together, they settled back into the lazy rhythm.

"My mother always used to do that. I can remember walking in our backyard with her when we were little. She would tell me stories about the wonders of being up in space and how exciting my father's job was." Lee paused for a moment before continuing. "That was before Zak was born and before they got divorced."

"It sounds wonderful," Kara whispered.

"It was."

Her fingers tightened around the loops of her sandals. Zak never really talked about his mother. Kara knew he loved her to no end. It just seemed like most of his focus was on his father and Lee, so much so that Kara hadn't even met Caroline Adama. There just wasn't time, what with Lee's frequent visits and Zak's classload.

"You'll meet her soon."

Kara glanced over at Lee. It unnerved her when he read her mind like that, but it never really surprised her. "She sounds like an amazing woman."

"She is." Kara watched Lee chew on his bottom lip for a moment before continuing. "She already thinks the world of you."

"She does?"

"Between Zak and I, she probably knows every single wonderful thing about you."

Kara had to fight back a smile as his words sunk in. "You talk about me with your mother?"

A small blush crept up Lee's face, but he didn't pause. "You are an amazing woman, Kara. I can't help but feel it's my duty to let my mother know how much you fascinate me."

Even though she knew better, the smile worked its way free. She watched Lee's eyes lit up. He always did that when he made her smile. She wasn't even going to begin to think of the way he grinned when he actually got her to laugh out loud.

A distant rumbled filled the air around her.

"What is th-" Kara barely got the words out of her mouth before the skies opened up and the rain started pouring down. Before she knew it, Lee had slipped his hand into hers and was dragging her through the rain. The grass was wet beneath her bare feet, and Kara let out a laugh at being caught so unawares.

Lee pulled her underneath the cover of a large oak tree and, putting his hands on his knees, leaned down to catch his breath. Kara followed suit, letting her shoulder rest on the large trunk of this temporary shelter.

"I don't know how I didn't see that coming," Kara laughed, shutting her eyes to focus on the sound of the rain.

"I should have warned you," Lee apologized. "The sky is only that beautiful in the morning when it plans on cooling off. The rain should only last a few minutes."

"Yet another surprise about this planet I call home."

"I find myself constantly surprised when I'm here."

Kara opened her eyes slowly to see meet his. A chill blew through the air, and for the first time, she realized she was soaking wet. The material of the skirt she never should have worn was clinging to her body, and she could just imagine what the tank was doing. She was about to say something to break the quiet tension, but the words caught in her throat as Lee moved to stand before her. Her eyes fell to the crook of his neck where a few droplets of moisture were pooling, and she had to fight back the flare of desire starting in the pit of her stomach.

Lee reached out to brush the hair back from her eyes. His fingers lingered for a moment before sliding down to play with the end of a wayward tendril. The palm of his hand brushed gently against her waist, and Kara suddenly wondered why she hadn't pulled her hair back this morning. She never left it down, not during these hot summer months. His eyes darted up to meet hers, and her mind went completely blank. The way he was looking at her was nothing short of dangerous. "Lee…"

"You look beautiful," he whispered.

She felt his hand come up to cradle her cheek and knew she should say something to stop this. "I look a complete mess."

"Not possible."

His mouth was inches away from hers when she finally understood he was going to kiss her. All she had to do was shift to the side and the mood would be broken. She would be safe.

Her body wasn't complying.

He kissed her first on the forehead, a light touch she barely even felt. That would have been it if only Kara hadn't felt her toes dig in to the grass as she pushed herself up the last few inches.

Their lips met, and the struggle to stay in control was over. It was a kiss that mirrored what she already knew. For months, she had been teasing Zak that there was no way he and Lee could be brothers. They were too different. Zak had always agreed and then pulled her into a kiss. Their kisses were smooth. They were safe. He made her feel wanted.

This kiss was not that kind of kiss. She didn't feel wanted. She felt needed.

Their lips melted in a kiss full of pent-up desire. There were no uncertainties. Lee's hand came up under her hair to cradle her neck. He paused the kiss for only a moment to whisper her name. The sound was muffled as she crushed her lips against him once more.

A boom of thunder was what finally wrenched Kara back to reality. Her hands drifted up to her stinging lips as her eyes went wide.

"Kara…"

Lee's voice was a silent plea, one she knew she couldn't answer. Not now. Not when she couldn't remember what to think.

Kara stumbled back a few steps before turning completely and fleeing back out into the pouring rain. She could hear Lee calling her name, begging her to come back. She forced herself to ignore it.

This had been a mistake. It had all been a huge mistake.

But she already knew that, didn't she?

* * *

Kara opened her eyes to see the sun was about to set. Her hand came up to run through the short crop of hair the breeze was currently batting around. She had cut it six months earlier, her long hair becoming too hot for the Picon summer, and she just never let it grow back.

The phone in her office started ringing. Sighing, she stepped inside, turning the lock on the balcony door. Something told her it was Zak. He would be wanting to go out to dinner with his brother like always.


	28. Temptation

_Kara had always prided herself on being a strong person, but as Lee pushed himself deep inside of her, she understood that she had finally met a temptation even the strongest woman in the world could not resist._

* * *

Kara Thrace had known one thing since she was little. A girl like her could never be happy, not really. Her mother had proved early on that she wasn't worthy of it.

Happiness was never a thing she looked for. She did not seek it out, and it didn't fight to find her. When she chanced upon it, she tended to frak it up in the end. So over the years she avoided it. She didn't need the hurt that came hand in hand with happiness.

Then the gods saw fit to push Lee Adama her way.

And Lee Adama saw fit to push happiness her way until she was ready to explode.

It was never in large ways, just small little gestures that only she could really understand.

Lee always got flustered around her when they were in any sort of romantic setting. Like the dress on Colonial Day and the dance they shared. Or when the President asked her to dinner over on Colonial One and Kara was trying on all the dresses the other pilots were lending her. Lee stumbled into the bunkroom on accident that day. He knew he got flustered, and yet he still made it a point of telling her she looked pretty.

The triad tables were a different thing altogether. Lee started the nasty habiting of running his tongue along his lower lip whenever he debated throwing his cards in. Kara found herself mesmerized to the point of needing Helo to nudge her every time it was her turn to bet.

Lee caught her looking quite a few times, and his only response was that damned smirk, the one that made her weak in the knees. It was like he knew exactly what she was thinking and he didn't mind one bit.

His hand would brush hers when he took her coffee. Every morning, he would steal it, and every morning, she would just smile and punch him in the arm. They always seemed to end up chuckling and sharing her small cup, light touches of fingers to hands.

It was a slow and steady seduction at first, all gentle touches and small movements. Then Kara had a close call in the air and things turned up a notch. Lee managed to corner her in a side corridor and pushed her back against the cold metal wall. Before she could take a breath, his lips found hers and the bottom of her world dropped out. He left her clutching the wall to keep herself upright and wondering what a man who could kiss like that was doing with the label of most eligible pilot.

After that, there was always a small, secret kiss for her when she landed safely. He would come out of nowhere to surprise her, and she never could get it together enough to make him stay and explain just what he thought he was doing.

Now at the triad games, when he ran his tongue over his lip, she found her fingers coming up to trace the spot where he had kissed her. That smirk was still on his face.

When they were in the senior officer briefings, Lee always managed to sit next to Kara. He would lean over and whisper funny comments in her ear, and she would smile. His thigh would rub lightly against hers whenever she started bouncing in her chair with boredom. It always seemed to calm her down. His hand would linger on the arm rest next to hers, and Kara had to fight the urge to slid her hand into his.

Kara didn't think there was any risk of her misinterpreting Lee's affections as anything more than friendly flirting until the day she got the flu. She had been fighting it for days without anyone noticing. Well, Lee had actually asked her if she was all right a little more often than normal, but everyone else remained the same.

They were walking down the corridor together, he to a morning briefing, she to her turn at CAP, when she suddenly felt dizzy. She knew she was going to pass out a few seconds before it actually happened.

When she woke up, she found herself in her bunk, a blanket tucked carefully around her body. She was out of her flight suit and in sweats. Her hair had been pulled back into a fresh ponytail, and there was a handful of pills and a glass of water on the shelf above her head.

Kara's mind went instantly to the man she had last been with, and she pulled back her curtain. Her eyes fell on Hot Dog who was quick to tell her that Lee wasn't around. The CAG was pulling a double CAP and then he had a maintenance shift. Kara shut her eyes and tried to remember Lee's schedule. He had a morning meeting and then his turn at CAP. That was it. Just that morning, he had been rubbing the little of amount of work he had to do in her face.

Kara asked Hot Dog how long she'd been sleeping. She only became more confused when the answer came back about five hours. She should be ending her turn at CAP right now, and then she was due in the hangar bay to help Chief repair some of the Vipers.

Her eyes went wide as she put two and two together. Lee had taken her responsibilities on his shoulders, and he hadn't let anyone know that was what he was doing. Hot Dog would have been the first to tease her about being the CAG's pet so he obviously didn't know.

Kara tucked the blanket around her chin again and smiled. No one had ever done that kind of thing for her before.

Lee continued to watch over her while she recovered from her flu, and even after that, he still made sure she wasn't overworking herself.

Her post-landing kisses shifted from the frantic passion Lee had first stirred up inside of her to a calm, slow burn that she found herself fostering. Now she had time to run her fingers through his hair before he was smiling and running off to do whatever it is the CAG had to do.

They shared mat time in the gym, those morning cups of coffee, jokes in briefings, winnings from triad. Their partnership was seamless in a way it had never been before. Kara could feel herself teetering on the edge of falling into uncharted territory, but she always managed to keep control. She wasn't stupid enough to think this was anything more than a passing fascination for Lee. She wasn't the kind of girl that could make him happy. Even more, she wasn't the kind of girl who _deserved_ to make him happy.

Things continued to develop between them, guarded gestures, slow and sure and careful.

It seemed right that in the end it was a slow, careful gesture that made her open her eyes to what was happening.

They were sharing a sandwich in the bunkroom, the following week's flight schedule spread on the table between them when she looked up to see Lee staring at her. Their eyes stayed locked in the silence of the air around them. Kara gently bit her bottom lip and waited for him to say something.

"You are so amazing," he whispered and then went right back to fixing the flight schedule.

Something cracked inside Kara, and before she could think twice, she had pulled herself across the table and was in his lap, kissing him as if the world was about to end. She could feel his smile against her lips as her fingers started unbuttoning his jacket. He ran his hands through her hair and laughed when she pulled him over to her bunk.

Kara had always prided herself on being a strong person, but as Lee pushed himself deep inside of her, she understood that she had finally met a temptation even the strongest woman in the world could not resist.

It was slow and it was steady and she was happy.


	29. Soul

_Kara fought to hold back the tears as Lee continued to stare at her with that familiar cold expression on his face, and she couldn't help but wonder if he would even pray for her soul should the Cylons finally catch up to her._

* * *

Kara waited out in the corridor for a moment before slowly pushing the hatch open. Lee never kept his office locked. He kept saying that a Commander needed to be accessible at all times. Kara just thought he must be lonely. It wasn't like she knew for sure. Things weren't that simple anymore.

A lot had changed since she got back from Caprica.

It took Lee a few seconds after she shut the hatch to look up at her. He held up a hand to stop her from speaking. He mouthed that he had to finish this, and Kara realized he was on the phone. It only took a few seconds for her to remember the problem Pegasus was having with some of the freighters. There had been a drunken exchange of words at the bar on the Rising Star, and now half the Fleet's military wasn't receiving rations.

Kara took a seat in the chair by his desk and tried to relax. She shouldn't be this nervous. This was Lee. She had known him for years. They were practically family. He didn't always like her choices, but he recognized the reasons behind them. He would understand why she was doing this.

She watched Lee argue with the person on the other end of the phone and really let herself look at him for the first time in months. He looked different, harder if that was even possible. He had a bandage wrapped around his left hand, and Kara suddenly connected what her eyes were seeing with the reports of an electrical fire in Pegasus's CIC which she had heard about earlier that week. Lee must have gotten hurt. She felt a small pang of sadness in her heart. That was the type of thing she would have immediately known a few months earlier. Hell, she would have been the one teasing Lee back to health.

Things weren't like that anymore.

Something had shifted in their relationship when she brought Anders back to the Fleet. She couldn't say what it was that changed. All she knew was it started with Lee being angry at her for making some inappropriate, intoxicated comment and never stopped. They just kept shifting and changing until she didn't know what they were anymore. She didn't know _who_ they were.

Everything had been so damn simple in the beginning. Life was lived a day at a time. Flights were flown to protect. Relationships were formed to feel. Good was good. Up was up. Lee was Lee.

Kara hadn't recognized that what she had with Lee those first few months was so precious, which was why it didn't hurt her when she lost it. There was no head-pounding, gut-wrenching loss. Instead, it was a slow steady drain that was only now really adding up to the ache in her soul.

Then again, it had been her choice. This was her doing. Always had been.

Ever since childhood, she had been focusing on getting herself through one day at a time. Her world was not the pretty picture of happiness everyone else lived in. It never had been. She knew that if she wanted to survive, she needed to keep fighting. She hadn't even known what she was fighting for. It shifted too often for her to keep track.

She heard a click and looked up to see Lee had ended his call. There was a small hint of a smile on his tired face. She missed who they had once been, the people they could never be again. That was one of many things she refused to let herself admit while she was awake. It was only when she was hanging on the edge of a peaceful dream that she surrendered herself to the fantasy. Still, when she woke up, it was always with the same thought on her mind.

Reality was some things couldn't be fixed even if you tried.

"This is an unexpected surprise, Captain," Lee said slowly. His deliberate use of rank didn't match the way he was looking at her, but Kara was used to confusion when it came to Lee.

She gave a small nod, acknowledging that she hadn't been called over her for some official reason. No, the burden of this encounter rested on her shoulders alone. "I…I heard that things have been tough here on the Beast."

Lee waited a minute before narrowing his eyes. "Yeah, things are tough here just like they're tough on Galactica. That doesn't explain why you're here."

Kara watched the smile slowly melt off his face as he spoke, and she knew he knew. She was trying to pretend like her suddenly showing up on his doorstep wasn't odd. She was trying to pretend they weren't broken for just a few seconds before she told him why she was here. She should have known Lee wouldn't let her get away with the denial. He never bought into her bullshit.

"I came…" Her words caught in her throat, and she tried again. "I wanted to tell you personally… I felt I owed it to you… I know things have been different the last few months, but I've been trying… you're still my…" She looked up at him, their eyes catching for the first time in so long, and she wished she was better at this game they played. "I submitted my official resignation to your father a few hours ago. I'm moving down to New Caprica with Sam."

Lee's face went white, but he didn't turn his gaze away from her. He had been expecting this.

"I thought you might…"

"Might what?" Lee hissed.

"I don't know," Kara lied. She knew exactly what she thought he might do. He might ask her how his father took the news, focusing on anything but his own feelings. She thought he might ask her questions as to how she could leave behind the life she loved so dearly. She half-expected a few insults directed towards Sam and how quick their relationship was developing. He might scream at her for being an idiot, for running again. He might pull her close to him and refuse to let her frak up her life again. His anger might take over, and he would hit her like the last time. He might beg her to stay, pointing out all the reasons that the Fleet needed her, all the reasons _he_ needed her.

All these scenarios had been playing on an endless loop in her mind from the moment she told Sam she was going to move down to the planet's surface with him. None of them were close to what was happening.

"Don't you have anything to say?" she tentatively asked when the silence got to be too much.

"I don't think I really have a right to voice my opinion when it comes to you anymore. You made it quite clear that whatever I say in regards to your choices is irrelevant." Lee picked up the papers again. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Captain?"

Her body on autopilot, Kara shook her head and rose from the chair. She paused a moment, but Lee had turned back to the reports. She had felt this moment coming for months. The door had been poised to slam on the end of their relationship, but she really didn't think it was going to play out like this. Apollo and Starbuck went out in a fiery blaze of glory. They didn't end in icy silence.

Kara paused at the hatch as the familiarity of what was happening finally slammed in to her. That was what made her turn back to face him. He looked up at her after a moment, and she choked out, "I have to know. Will you… will you miss me, sir?"

That faint smile returned to Lee's face, and Kara felt relief wash over her. The Admiral had been right to say that no matter how bad things got, the two of them would find a way to fix it. She turned to the hatch, prepared to leave explanations for another day when they were both stronger and more stable.

Lee's words caught her as she reached for the handle of the hatch. Her guard was down, having settled into a comfort she thought had been long gone. He knew it. He could see it. And despite that - _because of that _- he ripped her heart out. "No."

Her knees buckled and his name fell from her lips, a small plea to the gods to let her have heard wrong. Her hands braced her body against the wall, supporting the weight of her body. She barely had the strength to move, but somehow she turned to stare at him, eyes wide as the familiar ache settled in once more.

He was sitting calmly at his desk, watching her crumble, a smile playing at the edge of his lips. This was the Lee she had become all to familiar with. This was the Lee who had fought his way back from death twice in a matter of weeks and yet came back different. Altered. "I once needed all the pilots I could get, but that time's long passed. Now I only need the ones I can count on to be there, the ones that won't make stupid mistakes and then not stick around to repair what's been broken." Kara's eyes dropped to his shoulder before she forced herself to meet his eyes once more. "I need someone who will keep her head in the game because it's obvious that this little reprieve is going to end someday. I need a woman who's strong enough to know when it's time to stop running, who can understand what I'm trying to tell her without forcing me to open my heart only to have it ripped out over and over again until the pain becomes how I define myself. I thought I knew someone like that once, someone I thought I could love. She was someone I would probably miss dearly if she ever went away. I invested a lot in the person I thought she was, but I was wrong. It was all a hollow fantasy." He took a deep breath and shrugged. "So, I'm sorry, Captain, but the last thing I would _ever _do is miss you."

Kara fought to hold back the tears as Lee continued to stare at her with that familiar cold expression on his face, and she couldn't help but wonder if he would even pray for her soul should the Cylons finally catch up to her. She wanted to scream that it hadn't been a fantasy, that she had felt the same way, but she knew that wouldn't help. It was over.

There was no fixing the break, no way to push the splinters of who they were back together again.

She watched him for a few seconds before nodding. "Then, I guess this is goodbye, Commander." She paused, giving him one last second to take it back, but she only felt the silence in the air.

Lee didn't speak until the hatch was nearly closed. "Good hunting, Kara."

This final blow was the hardest. It had been months since the sound of her name fell from his lips.

Kara stood in the middle of the hallway and struggled to get her breath back. Her eyes stung as she kept them clamped tightly, willing the tears to stay inside. She would not cry. She would not show weakness.

The despair was familiar to her. She had been losing hope for as long as she could remember. First it was her mother and the abuse. Then it was her father leaving, Zak dying, the Cylons attacking, Lee discarding her like some broken object, leaving Sam behind, knowing she was slipping away a little more each day. The blows never ended.

She had never had this bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, though. There had always been something that told her she was going to make it through. Often it was only just enough to get her out of bed in the morning and nothing more, but it was enough. She knew she would heal. If she had patience and waited for the pain to pass, she could move on. That hope had always been on the tips of her fingers, just out of reach.

A small voice in the back of her head whispered that maybe she wouldn't make it out of this one on top. Maybe this was the one that would break her.

Even if she was wrong and she found the strength to keep fighting, it was going to take a long time to figure out how.

It was going to be a long way to happy again.

She had been broken into a million pieces, small bits of her soul that it would take a miracle to piece back together and she had no clue where to start. One thing she knew was this time, she was going to have to dig deeper than ever before. This time, she had people depending on her.

Laura Roslin, a woman struggling to find a way to save her people even though those same people took away the one thing she had left in life.

William Adama, the one man who would never forsake her even though she was abandoning him when he needed her the most, a father until the very end.

Karl Agathon, her dear fraked up Helo, holding tight to the emotions of the past that had shifted and changed when he wasn't looking, oblivious to the fact that he was forcing his best friend to watch him waste away, his wonderful laugh and wise words withering until one day they would disappear completely.

Samuel Anders. _Sam. _A man who had never once lost faith in her, a man who would miss her until the day he died if she ever went away, someone who understand the person she had to be, someone who wouldn't point out her mistakes, someone who just let her live.

It was going to be a long time until she could stitch the pieces back together, until she could make herself something he deserved. For the first time, she wasn't sure she was up to the task. There was a hesitance in her heart connected to that bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Kara forced her face into the familiar mask of numbness and did her best to cover up the damage. The world would not see her weakness.

Just like that, the last step had been taken. Starbuck was gone. She had been washed away with tears that held back for years, and she wasn't coming back.

Now it was time to finally prove to herself that as tough as Starbuck was, Kara Thrace was lot stronger.


	30. Solitary

_Hot Dog was trying to figure out where the frak he was when he saw a solitary figure leaning against the corridor wall, and it wasn't until he passed by it and heard two distinctive moans, one female, one male, that he realized he had just stumbled upon regulation breaking at its finest._

* * *

Hot Dog was trying to figure out where the frak he was when he saw a solitary figure leaning against the corridor wall, and it wasn't until he passed by it and heard two distinctive moans, one female, one male, that he realized he had just stumbled upon regulation breaking at its finest. He ducked behind a few crates more out of instinct than conscious decision.

He snuck a quick look over the top of his hiding place, and his eyes went wide. He tried to shake off the haze of all that ambrosia he had been drinking at the triad game earlier because he could not be seeing what he thought he was seeing. Hot Dog tried to make his mouth closed, but he couldn't. He was staring at his newly reappointed CAG and former flight instructor going at it like two nuggets who hadn't realized signing up for the military meant giving up any hope of real human to human contact.

Hot Dog bit down on his tongue to keep from laughing. Apollo and Starbuck were making out right in front of his eyes. No one was going to believe this.

"Lee, we can't." Starbuck's voice was flirty, teasing the man currently kissing his way down her neck. Hot Dog's eyes went wide as he realized what she was talking about. The CAG had his fingers on the zipper of her sweatshirt and was currently pulling it down inch by slow inch.

"Come on, Kara. No one comes down this way. We have been meeting here every night for weeks, and no one has ever caught us."

"You were never trying to undress me before," Starbuck argued.

Hot Dog couldn't see Apollo's reaction or hear what he said in response. His attention was focused on the fact that Starbuck's zip sweatshirt was completely undone. The CAG's fingers teased the two sides of her sweatshirt until he had her chest bared to the cold air. Starbuck hissed a little, but she was biting her lip in anticipation.

The words slipped right off her tongue as Apollo lowered his head to take one of her nipples into his mouth. "Oh frak me." Hot Dog watched her hands reach up to hold the back of Apollo's head in place. Her body started squirming against the wall. When Apollo switched to her other breast, she moaned. "That's enough, Lee. You've had your fun." When he didn't stop, she swatted at his back. "Seriously, someone could walk around that corner."

"No one is going to walk around that corner, Kara," Apollo insisted, pulling back to smile at her. Hot Dog's eyes went wide as his CAG took a step back and started unbuttoning his pants.

He expected to hear Starbuck's famous temper flare. He expected to see her push Apollo away and start swearing at him for being so presumptuous. Hell, she should have slugged him the second he started unzipping her clothes.

None of that happened, though.

Instead, Starbuck crossed her arms in front of her and smiled. "No."

Apollo's hands paused. "What?"

"I said no."

Hot Dog had never seen his CAG look so crushed. "Are you serious?"

"Give me one reason why I should."

Apollo leaned in to press her body into the wall. He whispered something in her ear that earned him a smile. Hot Dog strained to hear, but his position behind the crates was too far away. Apollo pulled back and kissed Starbuck, nipping on her bottom lip. "Please, Kara."

This could not be happening, Hot Dog decided. He must have passed out in his bunk or at the triad table. He could not be witnessing his CAG begging Starbuck to let him frak her. Though why he would dream about something like this was behind him. He had had many dreams where a naked Starbuck had a prominent role, but the Commander had never been a part of them.

All thoughts of dreams slid from his mind as Starbuck pulled her sweats to the ground, kicking them a few feet away. Hot Dog had seen her in her skivvies many times when he had been in the senior officers' bunkroom, but it had never been like this. He could see how fraking turned on she was by the damp spot between her legs. The CAG must have been working her up for a while before Hot Dog stumbled upon them.

Starbuck reached out and finished unbuttoning Apollo's pants. She slid them down, and Hot Dog watched an appreciative smile cross her face. "Well, looks like I won't have to wait in anticipation, sir."

Apollo's response was a growl. He grabbed her right thigh and pulled it up to his waist while his other hand pushed her skivvies to the side. Hot Dog felt a tight pain in his pants and looked down to see that the Captain wasn't the only one being affected by what was happening. For a brief second, he wondered if Starbuck and Apollo were distracted enough for him to take care of his little problem. He shook the idea away. He would have to take his eyes off the scene in front of him if he wanted to get some proper relief. This was too much of a once in a lifetime opportunity for him to frak it up by getting horny and demanding his own release.

A flush came over Hot Dog as he watched Starbuck's reaction as Apollo pushed himself deep inside of her. Her mouth dropped open as she fought for breath, but no sound came out. He watched her hands push Apollo's shirt up until her nails met his back. The CAG hissed in pain but didn't stop thrusting.

"Frak," Starbuck growled. "Harder, Lee. Oh gods. Harder."

Something occurred to Hot Dog as he watched the CAG silently frak the flight instructor. No one used first names on Galactica. It was a personal touch that seemed out of place in an impersonal world, and often it just felt out of place. Except for Starbuck and Apollo, that is. No one would ever dream of calling either one of them Kara or Lee. Okay, maybe Helo got away with it every once in a while, but that was it.

And yet Apollo and Starbuck did it all the time to each other. They only brought rank and call signs into the mix when they were angry with one another.

Hot Dog had never noticed that before. Maybe it was something about the way that Apollo was softly panting her name now that brought it into perspective. Everyone wondered what it was about those two pilots that was so different from others. Hot Dog figured that maybe the answer was staring him in the face.

Starbuck's soft whimper made his focus again, and Hot Dog realized that the tone had shifted. It had been something smooth before. Now it was just primal. Her breasts shook as Apollo's thrust became more primal. The rhythm of the frak faded out into an all-out frenzy. Starbuck hissed words of encouragement as she came close to the edge.

Apollo kept repeating her name over and over again, a soft mantra of concentration, as he fraked her with an intensity that Hot Dog had never seen, let alone personally felt.

Starbuck was the first to break, and this time she couldn't bite back the scream. Apollo didn't last long after that.

Hot Dog was still reeling as he watched his CAG and lead pilot disengage from one another, straightening clothes and sharing small, secretive smiles. He found himself wondering if maybe he had hit his head on something. He hadn't thought he'd ever be fantasizing something like this, but there was a bulge in his pants telling him he should have been doing this a lot sooner. Watching Starbuck lose control was a lot more fulfilling than pretending like he could make her lose control. It was more realistic somehow.

After shutting his eyes for a moment, Hot Dog felt himself calm and took another peek above the crates. Apollo was zipping up Starbuck's sweatshirt, a large grin plastered on his face.

"Don't look so proud," Starbuck growled.

Apollo leaned in to kiss her, and Starbuck's hands came to rest on the nape of his neck, holding him in place. It felt odd to Hot Dog. He had never seen anything like this before. The fraking in the halls, sure. There had been plenty of that. But usually it was engage, frak, disengage. There was no lingering. There was no emotion.

"Kara." Apollo pulled back to look at the woman in his arms.

A quiet smile lit up Starbuck's face, and she leaned in to rest her forehead against his shoulder. "I know, Lee. Me, too."

For the first time, Hot Dog understood he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be witnessing this private moment even if it was between his two commanding officers. Standing up, he moved as silently as he could down the corridor, groaning as his pants rubbed against his still present erection. He really needed to take care of that. Images of what he had just witnessed popped back to the top of his mind.

No, he shouldn't have a problem taking care of anything tonight.


	31. Talent

_Lee always admired her raw talent for flying, but on the day she confessed to him that she was afraid of the dark, he finally understood the strength it took her to follow her destiny._

* * *

Lee always admired her raw talent for flying, but on the day she confessed to him that she was afraid of the dark, he finally understood the strength it took her to follow her destiny.

Like every other time Kara Thrace opened herself up to him, it happened by accident. She had had a bad landing that day, and it took the crew a few minutes to pry her cockpit hatch open. Plenty of pilots had been through this kind of thing before. There was this released trigger in the Mark IIs that was notorious for jamming if the Viper was even an inch off when landing. The other day, Hot Dog had had such a bad landing that Lee had to start dreaming up ways to feed him until the deck crew cut him loose.

It was mandatory for the CAG to check in on any pilot who's experienced trauma. At least that was what Lee kept telling himself now that he cancelled the rest of his meetings for the afternoon.

He asked around the ship to figure out where Starbuck was, but no one seemed to know. She wasn't in on the latest triad game or yelling at the Chief because her Viper was messed up. She wasn't pounding the shit out of a punching bag in the gym or quietly watching the stars on the observation deck. Lee was about to give up the search when Racetrack casually mentioned having seen Kara in the bunkroom an hour or so ago.

When he entered, the first thing he noticed was her curtain. It was pulled shut. She hadn't done that for weeks. The bunkroom got too hot at night, and Kara never minded having other people's eyes on her.

"Kara?" Lee said, hesitantly. His eyes scanned the bunkroom. They were alone.

The reply was brisk. "Go away." Her voice was coarse to his ears.

Lee set his stack of folders onto the table in the middle of the bunkroom and crouched down in front of her closed curtain. "I need to talk to you, Lieutenant."

"I'm sleeping."

Lee pulled back the curtain. Her back was facing him. Her flight suit was pulled down off her shoulders and tied around the waist. "You haven't changed?"

"Too tired."

Lee reached out to rest a hand on her arm. When she didn't say anything, he tightened his grip and turned her body to face him. Her cheeks were stained with tears. From the looks of it, she wasn't done crying either. "Gods, Kara."

"I'll be fine," she insisted, running the back of her hand across her face. "Just go away."

Lee didn't know what to do. In all the years he had known Kara, he had never once seen her cry. Crying and Starbuck just did not mix. Pushing his uneasiness to the side and focusing on the concern, he moved to sit on the edge of her bunk. "Don't shut me out here."

Kara's eyes narrowed into a glare. "You've done your CAG-ly duty, Lee. You checked on me. I'm going to be fine. You don't have to coax a heart to heart out of me."

"I'm not here as the CAG," Lee admitted, "and I'm not leaving until you start talking." He reached out to rest his hand on her shoulder. "So tell me what has you so upset."

"I don't like the dark."

Lee's brow furrowed in confusion. He wasn't sure if that was supposed to make sense to him.

"No one probably mentioned it to you. It was such a minor detail. My Viper slid a bit when it landed so I was lodged against the wall of the launch tube. There wasn't too much damage, so don't you start worrying about the Chief coming to skin you alive."

"Kara, I don't care about the Chief."

For a brief second, he saw the beginning of a smile on her lips, but it faded fast. "The wall blocked out the light in the tunnel so it was completely dark in the cockpit."

"And you don't like the dark," Lee added.

"Exactly. It felt like forever before they got my hatch unjammed, and I guess it kind of spooked me." Kara sighed. "So there you go, Lee. There's your big explanation. Take it and run."

Lee considered it for a moment before deciding he wasn't moving one muscle. He reached out to brush a tear off her cheek. The simple gesture seemed to make her even more upset, and she bit her lip to keep from outright sobbing. Lee could feel his heart breaking and shifted to lay in the bunk next to her. He kept himself from touching her as best he could. He didn't want to box her in. It only took her a few seconds before she closed the distance and rested her head on his chest.

"What aren't you telling me?" he whispered after a moment.

"I… I spent a lot of time in the closet when I was little. My mother called it my timeouts."

Lee stiffened at the mention of her mother. Kara didn't talk about that part of her life very often, but he had filled in a lot of the missing pieces over the years. He knew that it added up to what was probably the worst childhood a person could have. "How long?"

"An hour if I was lucky," Kara whispered. "A day if I wasn't."

"Gods, Kara."

She sniffled a little before insisting, "I'm okay."

"I know," Lee sighed. "It's just hard to wrap my head around sometimes."

"That was one of the reasons I focused on pyramid during Academy. There's no dark on a pyramid pitch." Kara moved to wipe her face on Lee's tanks, and she could feel the small rumble of his chest as he chuckled. "I like my new human handkerchief," she joked.

"That's what I'm here for."

The silence between them grew until Kara felt the urge to keep explaining. She had no clue why there were these moments of such ease and familiarity between her and Lee, but she was grateful. It let her voice all the things she usually kept locked inside. "I hurt my knee, and I had to change my plans real fast. Someone suggested flying, and a friend of mine snuck me into a simulator. I burned out in under ten seconds like most first timers, but something struck a chord. I liked flying."

"Even though it involves shutting yourself into a tiny space."

"It didn't matter. It just felt right, you know?"

"I know," Lee affirmed. It had been the same for him. Flying a Viper was expected for the son of William Adama which was what got him a simulator audition in the first place. The second his imaginary Viper hit the imaginary air, it was over. He was in love.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?"

He looked down to see her staring up at him, eyes wide and face a lot more innocent than he had ever seen before. Smiling, he shook his head. There was no way he could do that to her.

"I didn't think you would," she affirmed.

Lee was just debating whether he should leave her alone now when he felt her arms tighten around his waist. "Will you stay with me a bit?"

"No problem. I don't have anywhere to be until the next shift change."

Kara pulled back to grab the curtain and slid it shut.

"I thought you didn't like dark, confined spaces."

"They're okay when you're with someone you trust."

Lee felt a huge smile come to his face and was suddenly extremely glad for the dark.


	32. Child

**Warning: S3 spoilers… :O)**

_

* * *

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when Kara awoke to feel Lee's arm draped across her waist and his head resting on her chest, the nagging suspicion that she could never handle being a mother fades away._

* * *

Kara had fought him at first, knowing she could never be the woman Lee deserved. It took her years to realize she might not be what he deserved, but she was the woman he wanted.

They had made mistakes in the past. First, it was her. She had pushed away the nagging suspicion that she felt something for Zak's older brother. It did nothing to lessen her love for Zak, but she often wondered if maybe she could have saved him if she had only been more truthful.

The next mistake was theirs to share. Colonial Day shouldn't have happened the way it did. She had pushed, and he had ran. He had caught up, and she had punched. Then she had been the one to run.

When she came back to the Fleet, gods bless him, he tried again. The pain was too much. They almost severed their relationship completely after that.

They came so close to letting each other go, but tragedy ripped their lives apart before they could do it. In the end, they both couldn't deal with their losses without the support of the other. Kara could still remember the look of painful sadness on Lee's face as he told her the Dee had been on the Pegasus when it blew up.

The first time Lee pulled back the curtain to her bunk and slid in next to her was a week after that. They barely touched that night. Somehow that comforted Kara.

Things changed quickly. The sadness between them was tangible. Yet there was always a point in the night where it just faded away. In those moments, she was just Kara and he was just Lee. The baggage was gone, and she was happy.

That instant where everything changed each night was always the first moment Lee would touch her. He would reach his hand out in some small gesture, pushing a loose hair away from her forehead, or a tentative touch, fingers brushing across her hand.

Soon, they dropped the pretense completely. He would slide into her bunk and she would simply open her arms to him. He would settle in next to her without a word. It was a silent comfort she never had before.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when Kara awoke to feel Lee's arm draped across her waist and his head resting on her chest, the nagging suspicion that she could never handle being a mother fades away.

They hadn't slept together, but she knew they would when the time was right.

Stretching out in her bunk, Kara reached her hand down to lay over her stomach. For the first time, she could imagine having a little tiny life living inside of her and it didn't scare her to death. Instead, she had to fight to keep the smile from her face. As long as it was Lee's child, she felt safe. He would make sure she could handle the pressure. He would never let her turn into her mother.

The curtain on her bunk pulled back, and Kara scooted over to the wall to give Lee room. His arms came around her body, pulling her close. She smiled up at him and was surprised to see his head lean down. His lips lightly brushed across hers.

Another step had been made.


	33. Hold

_Kara held on to Lee's hand as tight as she could as they stared at the coffin slowly drifting out the airlock and into space._

* * *

Kara held on to Lee's hand as tight as she could as they stared at the coffin slowly drifting out the airlock and into space.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered.

Lee continued staring into space. She could hear the people filing out of the hangar bay and knew everyone was trying to give them a moment. That was good. They needed a moment.

Lee let go of her hand the moment the hangar doors slid shut. His fingers slid up to undo the top few buttons of his dress greys. Kara watched his shoulders deflate as the weight of the challenge he faced could finally be shown. "Lee…"

"I guess congratulations are in order."

Her hand paused halfway in the air. She couldn't tell if he meant that harsh tone. "I guess." She waited a moment before continuing, "You know I really didn't see it coming."

"I did." Lee sighed and turned to her. "Or didn't you hear? I'm the top gun in the Fleet now."

"Lee…" Kara said, stepping forward. This time she didn't hesitate to slid her hands up his shoulders to brace his neck. She could feel the tension there.

"I'm sorry, Kara. I know this is hard on you, too."

"He was your father," Kara pointed out.

"You were his daughter."

Lee's hand came out to play with the gold insignia pinned to brown strap of her uniform. It stood out like a sore thumb from all the old, battle-worn pins beside it.

Kara bit her lip to keep from ruining the moment. Having that pin there surprised her but then it didn't. There weren't many options for William Adama's successor these days. Colonel Tigh had bottomed out on alcohol years ago when Ellen died, and other proper candidates were few and far between. The Cylons were getting very good at hunting the remnants of humanity.

"Do you…" Kara's voice faded off. She wasn't sure if she wanted to ask him this question. He was too out of it to spare her feelings.

"Do I what?" Lee prompted.

Kara slid her hands down to rest on his chest before looking up at his eyes. "Do you think I can do this?"

Lee's eyes went wide. "You know I do." Kara chewed on her lip and shook her head. Lee wanted to laugh. She actually hadn't known. "Kara, I was the one who promoted you." Her mouth dropped open, and this time Lee did laugh. "You actually thought I would be against having you command Galactica, didn't you?"

"You're always telling me that I'm too reckless for my own good."

Lee shook his head. "I never meant it. You're a leader, Kara. You always have been. It just took the end of the world to bring it out."

Lee's hand reached up to brush against her cheek. "I don't understand," Kara whispered.

"I need you to help me figure this out, Kara. It took me months to figure out how to command the Pegasus, and even then I made a lot of mistakes. I can't be making mistakes anymore." Lee sighed and leaned his forehead in to touch hers. "I know I can't do this, Kara. I'm not strong enough."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not." Lee moved his arms around her back and pulled her into a tight hug. "That's why I need you, Kara. If we're in this together, then I know it can be done."

"You just need someone to point out your mistakes," Kara joked, leaning in to brush her lips against his shoulder. She had always found the soft, masculine smell he radiated soothing.

"I figured you're pretty good at it already so why change things?"

Kara laughed and pulled back. "So you really think I can do this?"

"You love Galactica," Lee explained. "For my father, that would have been enough."

Kara felt her heart drop out as she realized for a few precious seconds she had forgotten why they were here in this hangar bay. Lee reached his hand down to grasp hers. "It's okay, Kara. Everything's going to be okay."

Lee held her gaze for a moment before stepping back. His hand tugged on hers and together they walked across the deserted hangar. "I think the gods are making fun of us," he said.

Kara glanced over to see he was smiling. "What the frak are you talking about?"

"Apollo and Artemis," Lee said as way of explanation. When Kara continued to look at him expectantly, he shook his head. "The twin children of Zeus? You can't tell me you don't see the poetic irony in you commanding Galactica and me commanding Pegasus."

Kara stared at him a moment before bursting out in laughter. The gods were definitely mocking her, but it was in such a way that she didn't mind.

Lee's hand tightened in hers. "Let's go pack up my father's things."

It was in that moment that she knew the pain would fade.


	34. Belief

_Lee's hands were stained with blood as Kara stumbled with him down the dirt roads of New Caprica City, and he whispered, "I have to believe there's something better out there for us than this life."_

* * *

Lee's hands were stained with blood as Kara stumbled with him down the dirt roads of New Caprica City, and he whispered, "I have to believe there's something better out there for us than this life."

"We live the lives the gods have chosen for us," Kara whispered, slipping her hand into his. She didn't seem to mind that they were far from clean.

"Do you think the gods chose this for us?"

Kara shut her eyes as the reality of the situation bore into her heart. She was running… _stumbling_… for her life down the streets of a city she had never really wanted to live in with a man she had never thought she would see again. He had been shot in the shoulder damn close to where her own bullet had made its mark and was currently trying to do his best to pretend like he wasn't in pain because that's what she needed right now. Her husband was long dead, one of the first victims of the occupation, and the only man she had ever called father had been forced to leave her behind when she couldn't make it to a rescue ship in time. His son chose to stay behind until she could be found. "They know what they're doing," she said softly.

Lee's grip on her hand tightened, and he pulled her into an abandoned tent a few seconds before the clinking armor of a Centurion rang through the streets. They waited patiently side by side until the machine had passed. Then it was back to running. Lee promised her he would find a way off this planet, and she believed him. That was enough to keep him fighting for at least the rest of this life if not the next.

"I don't think I can believe the gods wanted the Cylons to rise up and attempt to exterminate their parents," Lee said after a mile or so of painful hobbling down the road. "Things that awful can't be connected to the same beings that gave me the people and things I love so much."

They returned to silence until Lee stumbled over his own feet. Kara decided the pain must be getting to him. She slid her arm underneath his and took on as much of his weight as she could. Her knee was twisted a week back and taking on a grown man's weight hurt quite a bit, but this was Lee. She would tough her way through this for Lee.

The hope that they were going to find an out-of-the-box way to survive was slowly dwindling with each step.

"Sometimes I used to lay in my bunk and wonder what the gods really intended our lives to be."

Lee's words broke her focus, and they stumbled to a stop. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"If the gods didn't want the holocaust to happen, then they intended different destinies for each and every one of us. Sometimes at night when I couldn't sleep, I would imagine what those destinies were."

"And?"

"You were a painter."

Kara raised her eyebrows. She didn't even know that Lee was aware of her love of art. "Really?"

"You tweaked your knee about six years after you were stationed on Galactica for the first time. My father encouraged you to take a little time off before you threw yourself into a military desk job. You took his advice and ended up painting. Your work would catch the eye of some famous art critic like Modi or Socatto, and from that point on, you were set for life. You moved to the wilds of Tauron for a bit to get creative inspiration, but you moved to Picon when the loneliness got to be too much."

"Do you fit into my destiny anywhere?" Kara asked.

Lee smiled. "We have dinner every second Saturday. It's a tradition."

Kara closed her eyes for a second and tried to imagine the picture Lee just painted for her. Her deep sigh echoed off the abandoned city, and she was smiling when she opened her eyes again. "I like my destiny."

"It took me a long while to figure out," Lee admitted.

Kara slid her arm under Lee's again and started pulling them forward. "What about yourself?"

Lee shook his head. "I could never think up one for myself. Everything I imagined just didn't seem right."

They returned to silence as they left the dusty roads of the city and entered the forest. Lee could tell something was on Kara's mind, but he had learned years ago that it was better not to ask.

"You're a single father."

Lee's heart froze at Kara's words, and his mind flashed back to that day in Caprica City with Gianne. He had told Kara about it after the destruction of the Blackbird, but he really hadn't thought she'd remember.

"Your daughter's mother was ex-military. You met her on your first assignment as CAG of a battlestar and fell in love immediately. You married her after three weeks and were blissfully happy for over a year until she contracted cancer shortly after giving birth to your child. You were left alone to raise her and at first you were scared to death, but you had help. You became a good father just like I always knew you would be."

Lee shook his head. "You have a wild imagination, Kara."

"I'm not finished yet," she pointed out. "Your daughter would grow up to be the best pilot the Academy and War College ever graduated. She would take the whole Fleet by storm and eventually she would go on to become President of the Twelve Colonies. At her inauguration , she would step up to that podium and thank her father for sacrificing so much to raise her the right way. She… that one child you never knew you wanted… would be your greatest achievement in life."

"And do you fit into my destiny anywhere?" Lee teased.

"We have dinner every second Saturday," Kara said with a wink, "and sometimes on Friday you show up at my studio to surprise me with lunch."

Lee pointed to the hollowed out shell of a Viper that was in the distance. It must have crash landed during the initial attack on New Caprica. Kara aimed their stumble in that direction. "I like my destiny, too," he said after they reached their destination.

Kara leaned their tired bodies against the fighter ship and tried to get her breath back. They were almost to their breaking point, and they didn't have a plan. She reached over to feel out the bullet wound in Lee's shoulder. It had stayed relatively clean considering their surroundings, and Kara figured she had a few more hours before he started losing too much blood.

"Where's a good pain medication when you need it?" Lee asked, grimacing as Kara tried to wrap his shoulder again.

Kara looked over the cuts on his forehead before stepping back a few feet and sitting down in the grass. They could stumble all over this planet for the rest of their lives, but it wasn't going to get them anywhere. They needed to start thinking. An explosion rang out in the distance, and Kara smiled. "Looks like they found my little going away present."

Lee laid down on the ground next to her, staring up at the sky. It was rather peaceful, considering. "It doesn't even look like anything's happened up there. Cloud Nine didn't get obliterated. The Galactica and Pegasus didn't patrol for months, and they sure as frak didn't fight to within an inch of their lives to push the Cylons away. It's just blue skies and little white clouds. It's slightly depressing."

"Yeah," Kara agreed, moving to lay in the grass beside him. "That one looks like a toaster."

"Boomer or D'anna?" Lee asked.

"The tall, leggy blond one," Kara shot back.

"Ah. A good choice if I do say so myself."

The stillness returned to the air around them, and Kara mustered up the courage to keep talking. "Are you scared?"

"No," Lee replied. It surprised him to realize he wasn't lying. He wasn't really scared. "I guess I lost my fear a long time ago when things really went to hell. Now I'm just living each moment as best I can."

"I'm not scared, either," Kara admitted. She reached her hand out to grasp his, and Lee realized that he couldn't remember if the blood staining her skin was his own or if it was hers or if it was from one of those human-metal mother frakers. The lines were blurring.

"What about the Old Man?" Kara asked quietly.

Lee looked up into the sky where he could just begin to make out the silhouette of a Raptor as it got closer to the planetside. Looks like they weren't going to have to run much farther. "My father's destiny never changes. To fight until his last breath and never give up hope."

Beside him, Kara smiled.


	35. Blur

_The lines of reality tended to blur when Kara was struggling to remember the hundred and one reasons why she had to tell Lee there was nothing between them._

* * *

The lines of reality tended to blur when Kara was struggling to remember the hundred and one reasons why she had to tell Lee there was nothing between them.

He was talking with a few deckhands across the hangar bay and when the conversation paused, he slid his flight suit down around his waist.

…_he's your superior officer…_

One of the deckhands must have said something out of the ordinary because Lee's eyes went wide as his mouth dropped open. He looked delicious when he was stunned.

…_he's the son of the only man you've ever considered a father…_

His laughter carried over the noise of the hangar bay.

…_he's Zak's brother…_

Kara could feel the eyes of every person that passed. She had that look on her face, and they all knew what that meant.

…_if she gave in to this, he was going to die just like all the others…_

Lee crossed his arms in front of his chest, holding the clipboard in place. Kara watched him launch into a long explanation that no one would ever really understand.

…_he was of a different caliber…_

A deckhand, the young female one she noticed with a twinge of jealous, started nodding emphatically. Her hand came up to rest on his bicep.

…_he would never want a girl like her…_

Kara ignored the voices calling out to her, reminding her that she was here for a maintenance shift and not to spy on Lee.

…_there was a standing bet on the two of them and her day had come and gone…_

The deckhands were all dispersing by the time she started crossing the hangar.

…_the way that she would catch Lee staring at her made her stomach clench in fear…_

Lee leaned on the Viper in front of him and stared at the large gash in the side. Kara smiled. Her last CAP had been pretty eventful.

…_her mother always said she wasn't fit to love…_

She stopped a few feet from where he stood.

…_the spark of desire she felt every time he touched her made her mind go blank…_

Lee turned to look over his shoulder and his eyes caught hers, almost as if he knew she would be there.

…_she would ruin them if he ever gave her a chance…_

She stopped in her tracks.

…_she couldn't afford to lose control…_

The side of his mouth turned up in a smile.

…_she was his replacement should anything happen…_

…_she couldn't take it if she lost him…_

…_she cared about him too much…_

…_he cared about her too much…_

…_she loved him…_

…_she thought he might just love her, too…_

"Can we talk in private?"

…_he was the only one who understood what flying meant to her…_

The equipment locker was the closet place she could think of, and luckily it was deserted.

…_he could make her smile with a small quirk of the eyebrow…_

She was pushing him up against the dogged hatch the first chance she had.

…_he set her blood on fire, her heart on edge, her mind racing, all while keeping her the calmest she had ever been… _

"Kara?" His stammer was muffled by her lips.

"I was wrong, Lee," she whispered, panting against his skin as she refused to let go. "Oh gods, I was so fraking wrong."

Lee's hands came around her waist to support her body as she put her all into the kiss. "About what?"

"Us." Her voice was a tickle against her skin. 'I'm so sorry."

Lee's soft laughter vibrated against her skin. "You didn't think I actually believed it when you said that?"

"You looked hurt," Kara said, her mind flashing back to that day in the bunkroom. He had looked so lost she couldn't help but swoop in for one final kiss. She remembered that vividly.

"I wasn't hurt. I was pissed off." Lee smirked. "You always did confuse those two."

Kara felt her lips spread into a large smile and giggled as Lee spun her back up against the hatch. His lips brushed against the side of her neck, and she bit back a moan. "We can't do this," she whispered. Lee's tongue dipped out to taste her, and she had to tighten her hold on his shoulders to stay upright.

"Give me one reason and I'll stop."

Kara clamped her eyes shut and tried to focus while Lee's attention started drifting a little lower. Reasons… she needed to give him a reason why they couldn't do this.

"Kara?"

"I can't think of one," she admitted.

Lee smiled and leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. "Good."


	36. Wasteland

_New Caprica was a wasteland when Lee was finally given permission to take a look at the fallout, and the only thing that kept him from completely losing it was Cally's casual comment that Kara was waiting for him down on the surface._

* * *

New Caprica was a wasteland when Lee was finally given permission to take a look at the fallout, and the only thing that kept him from completely losing it was Cally's casual comment that Kara was waiting for him down on the surface.

Then again, maybe casual wasn't the right word for what Cally did.

It had been a long battle securing this planet from the Cylons. The original plan had been to grab the survivors and run, but it became clear rather quickly that that was easier said than done. He and his father had planned for a lot of possibilities, but the presence of collaborators was not one of them.

They didn't expect their own men would try to stop them.

The consequences were harsh.

This planet that was supposed to be their answer to the continuation of humanity was a war-torn shell of life. No one would be able to live on it now.

The truce had been simple and quick. The Cylons understood that humanity was ready to die rather than be controlled. Humanity's demise was no longer something the machines wanted. They must survive if the Cylons ever wished to understand the ideas of procreation, the last mystery of their creators.

Humanity was free, but it seemed like they had already sacrificed too much to move on. No one could find a reason why they shouldn't just lay down the last of their burdens, to end their lives and end the pain. The lack of hope was palpable.

Lee had quickly accepted the burden of running both Galactica and Pegasus while his father went planetside to try to understand just how large a mess they were dealing with. Every aspect of life was chaos these days. It was nice to have something to do that he knew he could handle.

His father returned with his report. It was as bad as they feared, but there were survivors. A resistance had been formed, and a good number of its members had fought their way through the battle. His father didn't mention anyone by name, and Lee was too scared to ask about her.

He focused on the task of bringing the two battlestars back to one hundred percent and ignored what was happening on the planet. If it was something he really had to know, he would be told. He knew he was avoiding the problem, but right now it was what he had to do. Everyone got used to not talking about New Caprica and the survivors when they were around the Commander so it wasn't even an issue most days.

That is until Lee came off a CIC shift to find a rather exhausted ex-deckhand waiting for him in his office. "Cally?"

"Commander Adama, sir. Let's dispense with the bullshit right now. You're happy I'm alive. I'm happy you came back to fight for us. Blah blah blah. Who the frak do you think you are?"

Lee's eyes went wide. He had never heard Cally talk like this before. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Just because you're a Commander does not mean you can just forget the people who put you in that position. She had been waiting for you to come down to the planet since the day the truce was reached. Every fraking day she wakes up and sits down in the landing yards, waiting for a Raptor from Pegasus that never comes. I tell her she's an idiot for trusting you again after that shit you pulled with Anders and the meds, but she won't give it up.

"Who…" Lee's words caught in his throat, and he coughed for a few seconds before trying again. "Who are you talking about?"

"Kara," Cally said, the pissed-off look still on her face. They both knew who she was talking about. "You know it took me a long while to figure out she needs you. Sam's death hit her hard, mostly because she knew he was the one who handed her over to Leoben. She kept repeating that she couldn't believe you were right when you said that Anders wasn't like the two of you. You really frakked with her head, but then that was always your thing. You would swoop in for the kill whenever she showed you an ounce of vulnerability. I guess that's why when she kept asking me to get a hold of you, I lied and said you were too busy to come down to the surface. I thought she was just too fraking fragile to see a guy like you." Cally's face twisted into an amused smirk for a few seconds before shifting back to the anger. "Kara had the balls to tell me that I was wrong and if you said you were too busy, it was because there was some crisis you had to handle. She wouldn't believe you would refuse her when she needed you so much. You see, Lee, she's a mess right now. That Cylon really screwed with her mind. There's a little girl down on that planet, and no one knows whether Kara's actually her mother or not. It took me so long to convince her that Leoben hadn't done it all for her good, that he had no clue what she needed. The day she finally admitted I was right was the day she started asking for you." Cally let out a small laugh and reached out to smack Lee upside the head. "She's so fraked up that right now I think you two deserve each other."

Lee was frozen in place. The amount of information Cally had just pushed onto him was threatening to make his head explode. Kara had been taken. She might have a daughter. She was waiting for him. She wanted him. She didn't hate him.

The last thought snapped him into action. He grabbed the phone and demanded a direct line with Galactica Actual.

"Dad, I'm going down to the planet."

* * *

Lee saw her the second he stepped off the Raptor. She was sitting on a crate, her knees tucked under her chin, watching a group of survivors play a game of pyramid. She was a lot thinner than he remembered.

He had two days to get this right. He just hoped that was enough.

She didn't turn to look at him until he was a few feet away, and when she did, she smiled. "Hi."

Lee took a seat on the crate next to her. "So I hear that there might be a little Starbuck running around." He lifted his arm, and she leaned into his body.

"Would you like to meet her?"

Lee sighed. "Yeah. I honestly would."


	37. Nowhere

_Lee took a deep breath and, even though he knew better, answered her question, "Nowhere, Kara."_

* * *

Kara was knee deep in the following week's freighter unloading schedules when Anders came home. He had been off ship for the past week. Barolay had landed herself a job doing physical conditioning for the Marine nuggets, and Anders had gone over to _the Picon Mariner_ to help with the first round. The woman had gotten the crazy idea that pyramid was an effective tool to evaluate the Marine candidates' physical abilities. If you wanted no-holds barred, 'oh that's gonna bruise' pyramid, then you called Samuel T. Anders.

"Miss me?" Anders asked, ducking down to steal a kiss.

Kara smile and nodded. She watched him throw his sweatshirt on their bed and start to settle back into the place he had called home for two months now. It was odd how when she wasn't looking, her life had shifted to something strangely resembling normalcy. "How's Jean?"

"Good." Anders unzipped his pyramid bag. "She did say she wished you could have gotten some time off to help. Testing the female candidates against me was a little ridiculous so Barolay didn't get the exact results she wanted there."

"Did you pick up a lot of Fleet gossip while you were there?" Kara asked, turning back to the still confusing freighter schedule. _The Mariner_ had become the spot for rest and relaxation for all of the Fleet now that Cloud Nine was gone. It was one of the larger ships so there was room to spread your wings properly. Needless to say, that made the liner the spot to catch up on Fleet happenings.

"You could say the ship was a buzz with something."

Kara set down her pen. "Do tell."

"Well, let's just say it earned me some attention when the people at the bar realized that I was going to be one of the lucky few attending the most high profile wedding in the Fleet."

Kara's brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. Anders wasn't really the type of guy to be coy about things. He usually just said balls-out what he meant her to know. It was one of the most refreshing things about him. "What wedding are you talking about?" she finally asked.

Anders paused in the middle of unpacking and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Lee's, of course." Kara felt every last bit of blood drain from her face as Anders' words hit home. It was in that moment that understanding dawned on Sam as to why Kara was acting so strange. "Oh gods, Kara. You didn't know?"

Kara shook her head, unable to form the words to tell him that she had no clue.

"I'm sorry. I assumed you would be one of the first people to know about Lee and Dualla. The Fleet got word of it a few days ago so I guess it went down after I left for Barolay's training. It seems like Dee's going to be transferred over to the Pegasus in the next few weeks and then the wedding will be a few days after. It's being kept quiet since there's so much on everyone's plates right now with the settlement of New Caprica."

Kara bit her lip and nodded. She _was _grateful for the information and would have told Anders as much if she wasn't so stuck on the fact that she had been completely clueless as to what was going on in Lee's life. Why hadn't the Old Man given her a warning? And why the frak hadn't Lee taken the time to pick up the phone and tell her himself? It was a courtesy she felt she earned a long time ago.

"Are you okay?" Anders said, moving to stand beside her chair

"I'm fine," Kara insisted. She moved to wipe her eyes in an effort to snap herself out of this sudden funk and then picked up her pen again. "It's actually this stupid freighter schedule. I can't figure out how to give the ships proper protection with all the docking and launching. I barely have enough ships to do Galactica's half of the CAPS, and I don't want to put one single pilot on a double shift with a CAP and then a round of freighter babysitting."

"Kara…" Anders started.

"I'm fine," she hissed. "The Old Man wanted to see me for dinner tonight so he was probably going to tell me then." It was a complete lie, but Kara thought it sounded pretty convincing. "He's not going to be happy that you ruined the surprise."

"And Lee?"

"Would have told me in his own time."

Anders rolled his eyes. "Right. You two and your complications and history and secret arguments and public fights. I actually forgot about the special two for a few days there."

Kara flung her pen back down onto the desk. "That's out of line."

"I'm not your little soldier, Kara. I'm your boyfriend. I can say whatever the frak I want and not be thrown in the brig.."

"Really?" She could feel her teeth grinding as she fought to stay in control of her temper. She really didn't want to frak up whatever she had with Sam right now because she couldn't bite her tongue. She knew the sudden need not to screw this up had a lot to do with Lee's unannounced engagement, but right now she didn't want to think why that might be.

"I mean, you can kick me off this ship anytime you want. I am still a visitor." Anders reached out to touch her shoulder but thought twice about it. His hand dropped to his side. "I know you're upset even if you won't admit it. Your nose is crinkling, and you only do that when you're really excited or pissed off."

Kara cracked a smile even though she was still mad at Anders. She hated when he called her on her shit.

"Tell me what you need from me right now, Kara. Is it help with those schedules or do you want me to see if the Admiral can see you now instead of later? What do you need?"

Kara watched him for a minute before smiling. "A turkey sandwich." She was rewarded with complete confusion flooding her boyfriend's face.

"A… turkey sandwich?"

"It would help me a lot if I could eat. You know how crabby I get when I'm hungry."

"And why turkey?"

"Because I want it," she said, rolling her eyes. "Do I have to explain everything to you?"

Anders chuckled and shook his head. Leaning in, he kissed the top of her head. "One turkey sandwich coming up."

Kara watched him walk across their shared quarters and let out a deep sigh when she heard the hatch click shut. She laid her head in her hands and tried not to feel guilty for sending Anders on a request that would take him over an hour to fulfill. Turkey was a precious commodity these days even if it was the synthetically manufactured crap. Kara knew that when she asked for the sandwich.

It was a lot easier to explain a craving than to tell her boyfriend that she wanted to be alone. Sam wouldn't have taken that too well.

Kara sat back in her chair and waited until she felt her hands stop shaking. Lee was getting married. She knew this was coming. Every single one of the pilots stationed on Pegasus told her how the Commander was getting more and more serious about Petty Officer Anastasia Dualla. She had teased Lee about it a few times until she realized that her words only made him run harder and faster to his precious little Ana.

She shook her head at the small bite of anger and jealous that was currently residing in her heart. She had no clue where that had come from. She wasn't envious of the fact that Lee was getting married. She could be married in two seconds. All she had to do was tell Sam she was ready and that would be that.

She didn't resent Lee for his relationship. She didn't want what he had with Dee. Their relationship was a polar opposite to anything she had ever felt with its comfort and quiet and companionship. She didn't want that. She wanted screaming and fighting and passion that you couldn't live without.

Her eyes fell to the clock on the wall. Anders had already been gone fifteen minutes. She needed to focus on what had to be done before he got back. She didn't want Sam to hear this.

Her hand reached out to tentatively grasp the handset on her phone. All the right things to say started flashing through her head. _I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. Anastasia is a great girl. You're going to be so happy. _But when the line finally connected to Pegasus and was transferred to the Commander's quarters, Kara felt her whole body go numb. All those right things to say went right out the window.

"Pegasus Actual." Lee had just come off a lengthy CIC shift and was not in the mood to be wasting time he could better spend sleeping in his bed. Then he started really listening to the breathing on the other end of the line, and his heart caught in his throat. He didn't need to ask who it was. He had heard the gentle inhale-exhale night after night when he was stationed on Galactica.

The line was silent for five long minutes, and Lee was silently glad that his comms officers knew better than to cut into the line to check to see if everything was all right. They would scare her away. She scared so easily.

Her words were small and soft when they finally came. "Everything's changing, isn't it?"

"Yes," Lee said. His eyes shifted to look through the doorway into his personal quarters and rested on the bed he would be sharing with Ana as soon as the transfer went through. It was still something he was trying to get used to.

"I feel like…" The silence spread between them again, and Kara could feel her courage start to drain away. "Do I even have a part in your life anymore?" She winced at how desperate that sounded but swallowed down the discomfort and tried again. "Where do I fit in?"

Lee took a deep breath and, even though he knew better, answered her question, "Nowhere, Kara. You and I made that decision a long time ago."

Kara bit down on her lip to keep the tears inside. They were threatening to fall, and she was not crying anywhere near Lee. He was _not_ going to hear her break down. "We did."

"So you heard."

"I heard."

The line went silent again. They both knew that an apology was the last thing that would be coming. Apollo and Starbuck didn't do apologies.

Eventually, it got to be too much for Kara to take. The handset clicked slightly as she set it down on the base. Her eyes fell to the papers on her desk, and the weight was suddenly too much for her. Snarling, she shoved it all away. The papers and books hit the floor with a loud bang. It didn't help.

Kara let her hands rest on the nearly empty desk as she fought to get her temper under control. Her eyes fell to one of the few papers left in front of her. It had been at the bottom of the stack where she had shoved it a few days earlier. The words echoed through her head as she read them.

_I, Kara Thrace… officially resign… of my own wish and desire… release any right to fly colonial aircraft… final decision…_

Her hand reached out for the pen. She willed her fingers to stop shaking as she signed her name with a flourish. It was done.


	38. Formal

_Kara ran the words back through her head- Lieutenant Thrace, would you please see me in my office to report on that last strafing run when you have a moment? -and decided that was a little too formal for a booty call, even when it was Lee Adama doing the calling._

* * *

Kara ran the words back through her head- Lieutenant Thrace, would you please see me in my office to report on that last strafing run when you have a moment? -and decided that was a little too formal for a booty call, even when it was Lee Adama doing the calling.

Kara smiled and tightened the last joint on the belly of her Viper before sliding out from underneath. She saw Kat leaning against one of the scrapped ships. "Something I can do for you, Katraine?"

"Just wondering what that was all about. I don't think I've ever seen Apollo being that nice to you, sir."

"He's nice when he wants something," Kara pointed out, wiping her greasy hands on a nearby rag.

"That report on the strafing run?"

Kara shook her head. "No. He wants me to frak him. Probably on his desk." She tossed the rag to Kat and pushed past her with a wink.

Kat's mouth hung open, and her eyes flew to Cally who had been switching out her tools nearby. "Did you hear that?"

Cally just smiled and shook her head.

"That's what I thought. I hate it when Starbuck tries to pull one over on me."

Cally held back her laughter until Kat was out of hearing distance. If the Lieutenant had been in the hangar bay the day before like Cally was, she would have hands down believed what Starbuck said. With the way Kara was kissing her CAG in that equipment locker, there was no question that the two most notorious Viper pilots had a more than professional relationship.

* * *

Kara chuckled to herself as she took the turn into the last corridor. She was enjoying this little situation. She kept telling everyone the truth about where she was going and not one person believed her. Hell, they could probably see her fraking Lee in the middle of the CIC and they still wouldn't believe it was actually happening.

She thought twice about knocking and just let herself in through the hatch. Lee was laying on the couch in his office, eyes closed, hands tucked behind his head. She unhooked the buttons on her maintenance overalls and slid them to the floor. Grinning, Kara walked across the office and came to a stop by the head of the couch. "Long day, Captain?"

Lee's eyes slid open slowly, and he grinned lazily up at her. "You could say that." He moved his hands to grasp her hips and pulled her down on top of him. "It's nothing a little rest can't cure."

Kara raised her eyebrows at him and shifted to settle into the crook of the couch. She let her head rest on his chest and was rewarded with a happy sigh. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yeah, I did," Lee whispered.

"Was there a particular reason?"

"I missed you."

Kara nodded. Lee had been off-ship working on a project for President Roslin for the last few days. She had missed him, too. "And…"

Lee's hand tighten on her waist and shifted their bodies so that she lay underneath him. "And I wanted to frak you on my couch."

"Damnit!" Kara hissed. "I told Kat it was the desk."

Lee shook his head. Kara was getting a huge kick out of telling people all the specific details of how she was fraking the CAG. It was rather funny when one thought about it, but Lee was too caught up in figuring out the reason why she was doing it to see the full humor of the situation.

Kara smiled. "It doesn't matter where we do this," she whispered. Her hands came out to slowly lift her CAG's tanks, and she threw them to the floor. "It doesn't matter at all."

Lee smiled and leaned in the few inches it took to reach her. He kept his kisses feather light, working his way around her lips, never really letting her get a proper hold on him. He drifted his touch down her jaw to the soft curve of her neck. He could smell the oil and grease from the maintenance bay on her skin. It mingled with the slight lavender scent of the soap she had won in last week's triad game. For some reason, the combination seemed right for Kara.

He really wasn't lying when he told her how much he missed her. Things were a lot simpler in their complexity when Kara was around.

Kara let her hands roam his back before finally settling around his neck. She felt the cool metal of the chain holding his dog tags and smiled as she followed the line of the chain around to the front. She hit the tags themselves after a minute. Making sure Lee was sufficiently distracted, she wound the chain around her fist and yanked. His whole body moved up, and Kara finally got her kiss.

Lee let himself enjoy the feel of her lips against his before he skimmed his hands down her body, taking her shorts with him. She smiled at him, and they settled back into both the couch and the kiss. This was the most surprising aspect of their relationship. Lee had always thought it would be all fire and passion with Kara, the kind where every time he had a moment alone with her, he was practically ripping her clothes off in order to get to her.

It wasn't like that at all.

It was more like what was happening right in this moment. Him and Kara on a sofa just enjoying the feel of each other. Her hands running along the tight muscles of his back, soothing away the last little bits of stress. Her laughter mixing with his as they forget how close they were to losing everything they had fought for.

Lee threaded his fingers into her hand and let his kiss drift away from her lips so he could look at the bruises on her arm. "The Chief called me yesterday and told me about the accident."

"It was just a hard landing," Kara said. She tried to shake off his attentions, but he wouldn't budge.

"They had to pry open your cockpit to get you out."

Kara's free hand slid to rest on Lee's chest. She could feel his heart pounding and smiled. He was really upset about what had happened. She didn't know how that was supposed to make her feel. "Lee…"

"You can't keep doing this to me, Kara. You have to be more careful when I'm not around to watch your back." Lee let go of her hand to run his fingers along the side of her face. He traced the lines of her lips until they turned up in a smile. "Please be careful for me."

Kara nodded and pulled Lee's head down towards her. They started in a series of slow, relaxed kisses. Kara wished there was some way she could arrange for Kat to walk in on this. She could just imagine what it would look like. Lee was shirtless, his hand resting on her bare thigh. Their bodies were starting to grind against each other as the pressure built, and Kara moaned slightly. This was the picture that popped into her head on those long CAPs when she really found herself missing Lee's touch.

Her hands found their way to the waist of his pants, and she felt his smile on her skin. Kissing was fun and all, especially when it was with Lee, but she really wasn't one for delayed gratification. Sensing the shift, Lee got to his feet and pulled Kara along with him. The next few minutes were a flurry of discarded clothing and teasing touches.

Lee moved to sit back on the couch, but Kara stopped him. "Not there, flyboy."

Lee raised his eyebrow. Kara motioned to the desk. "That's right. You wanted the desk, didn't you?"

Kara shook her head. "I have something better in mind now." She grabbed Lee's hand and lead him around his desk. Her hands ran their way up his chest to his shoulders, and she pushed him into the chair.

"Kara, if you wanted that, you only had to say so." Lee looked up at her from waist level and smirked.

The memory of the last time they had been in this office popped into Kara's head. She had been lying spread eagle on that very desk while Lee did things to her with his tongue that she was pretty sure were illegal in five colonies. She was tempted to forget her idea and just let him have his way. If only the idea wasn't so damn good that she was already shivering in anticipation. "Foreplay is not what's on my mind right now," she whispered. Her eyes fell down to his very noticeable erection.

"Well, then do whatever is on your mind now before I lost control and take you up against that desk. I believe you like it when I can't help but go hard and fast." Lee leaned back and waited for Kara to have a seat on his lap. With his current position being what it was, he didn't have a hard time imagining what she had in mind.

Kara wanted to laugh at the look of satisfaction on Lee's face as she turned around and sat down. The cool metal of his dogtags touched the hot skin on her back. It was their unspoken agreement that they never took their tags off during these little encounters. It helped remind them of the life they would be returning to as soon as the moment was over.

Lee felt the muscles in Kara's legs tense as she pushed up a few inches and then lowered herself down onto his erection. He couldn't help but groan. This was a completely different angle than they had ever hit before.

"Oh gods, Kara," he hissed as she started moving her hips. His hands drifted up her stomach to lightly brush her breasts. He was rewarded with her grinding down against him harder. "This was a very, very good idea."

Kara twisted her head and smiled at him. "You don't know the half of it, Captain." Her fingers pointed to a spot on the wall, and Lee realized that one of his storage lockers was open. There was a mirror on the door and right now it was pointed right at where Kara was fraking the hell out of him.

He watched in complete awe as he saw every inch of her reaction to his touch. Her back arched against him as he moved his fingers to tease her nipples. His gaze fell from her open mouth past where his hands were still full of her warm, sensitive flesh to the very point where they were joined. He watched her move her body up and down his shaft and had to fight to urge to keep from taking control. He didn't want to ruin this.

Kara tried to muffle her scream in her shoulder as Lee moved one hand down to touch where his cock was moving seamlessly in and out of her body. The orgasm took hold of her almost immediately, and it wasn't long before Lee was following her.

She was still leaning against him, fighting to get her breath back, when he kissed the top of her shoulder. "I think that was better than the desk."

Kara chuckled lightly. "I'll have to remember to tell Kat that fraking the CAG is better in his chair than on his desk."

"You need to stop torturing my pilots," Lee told her as she pulled herself out of his lap. "They're going to start believing you."

Kara shrugged and moved to pick up her clothes. "So what if they do? It's not like they're going to use the information of how great a lay you are against you. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if more women started propositioning you."

"Talking up my sexual prowess, Starbuck?"

"As much as I can. I have a reputation, Apollo. I don't put out multiple times if the guy's a bad lay." Kara winced as soon as the words came out of her mouth. Her sexual history had always been a sore subject with Lee, and she was stupid to keep bringing it up.

Lee didn't say a word in reply as he stood up and grabbed his briefs off the ground. He slid them onto his body and took up his position on the couch again.

"I'll just be going," Kara said.

Lee shook his head and beckoned her to come over.

"Something you want, sir?"

"Stop with the sir bullshit," Lee started. "The distancing thing isn't going to work on me."

"Fine. Something you want, Lee?"

"Yeah. I have about six hours before I have to start being the CAG again. I'm tired, and I just want to take a nap with my secret girlfriend."

Kara's lips twisted up into a smile. "So I'm your girlfriend now?"

"It sounds better than frak buddy," he pointed out. He moved his arms out wide. "Come here, Kara."

Kara smiled and kicked her pants off again before laying next to him. "Isn't someone going to be looking for you?"

"So what if they do? All I'm doing is taking a nap with my lead pilot. Is that against the rules?"

"Kind of," Kara said, snuggling into his side.

"Good." Lee yawned and leaned his cheek against her head. "Let's hope Kat's the one to find us. That way you can get a little amusement out of breaking all these regulations."

"Awww, Lee. That was the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

Lee laughed and shook his head. "Kara Thrace, I do not know what to do with you."

Kara tightened her arms around him and sighed. "From where I'm lying, you seem to be doing just fine."


	39. Drink

_Kara woke up in the spare bedroom of Caroline Adama's house to feel the bed empty beside her and vowed to herself that the first time she had one drink too many with Lee would also be the last time._

* * *

Kara woke up in the spare bedroom of Caroline Adama's house to feel the bed empty beside her and vowed to herself that the first time she had one drink too many with Lee would also be the last time.

It had been innocent enough in the beginning. Zak wanted to go visit his mother during the Academy holiday, and he invited Kara along. Kara was never one to turn down some time with a fascinating woman like Caroline.

Then it all went south.

Zak got the call that he had to stay on campus because of some botched test whose results didn't come in. He insisted that she still go visit his mother. Caroline had been talking non-stop about how much she was looking forward to it. When Kara knocked on the Adamas' front door, she was shocked when a man answered the door.

"Is… is Caroline home?"

The young man smiled and pushed the door open. "You're Kara. My mom's been expecting you."

Kara's eyes went wide as she realized this was Lee, the man Zak never stopped talking about. "I thought you were supposed to be gone."

Lee shook his head. "The War College is on break just like the Academy. I thought I'd come home for a bit."

Kara nodded and stepped into the house. Caroline Adama's voice beckoned to her from the kitchen, announcing they'd have sandwiches for lunch.

The afternoon passed by quickly. Kara had to admit staying at the Adamas' without Zak was a lot less awkward than she thought it would be. After lunch, Kara helped Caroline finish the chores around the house and then they went down to the market in Caprica Square to purchase dinner.

Kara was surprised to watch Caroline hand off the bags of groceries to her son the second they stepped into the door. Caroline then told Kara she would see her in a bit and walked upstairs. Kara wasn't sure what to do next, but luckily Lee told her to follow him. He motioned for her to take a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and, grabbing a bottle of wine off the rack in the kitchen, poured her a glass.

"You're making dinner?" she asked.

"My mom put me to work in the kitchen from the moment I was old enough to use the stove so you don't have to worry about being poisoned or anything," Lee assured her.

Kara chuckled. How he had known that was what she was thinking was beyond her.

They shifted into a comfortable sort of exchange of information. Kara found she had a lot in common with Lee from their love of pyramid to their need to feel the open space around them. She was surprised when Caroline popped into the kitchen to ask if dinner was ready. It seemed two hours had gone by without her noticing.

Dinner was refreshing in a way that made her wish Zak was here. He would love to see his girlfriend and his family getting on so well.

Kara was helping clear the table when Lee suggested she come with him into the city. A few of his friends from primary school were also in town, and they had invited him out for beers. Kara declined at first but Lee persisted until the last glass was cleaned, dried, and put away.

"Please, Kara. The guys won't know what to do with a girl like you, and I would love to watch them try."

It was the glimmer of mischief in his eye that pushed her over the edge. She rummaged around her bag for the best outfit, ending up with a tube top and jeans. It wasn't like she expected to be hitting the town on this vacation so it would have to do.

Lee's friends made her laugh. They reminded her of her fellow teachers at the Academy in the way they dished it out as good as they took it. Kara found herself forgetting that she was out with her boyfriend's brother and should probably be wishing Zak was here. It most likely had something to do with getting away from military life completely. She hadn't done that in years.

The only moment of discomfort had been when a rather skuzzy looking man came over and wouldn't take no for an answer. He followed her over to the table, and she was about to let her fists do the talking when Lee grabbed her waist and pulled her into his lap. A few whispered words in her ear and a well-timed giggle and the man was gone.

It wasn't until an hour later that Kara realized she hadn't moved out of Lee's lap.

The night started blurring about the time that Lee claimed he could drink anyone under the table. Kara's pride had come out immediately, and before she knew it, they had gone through two bottles of ambrosia. She challenged him to an arm wrestling match which somehow ended up with her pinning him to the ground.

After that it was all just flashes of memory. Lee's friends leaving at two in the morning. The two of them stumbling down the road as they searched for a cab that would take them home. Trying not to giggle as Lee dropped his keys for the tenth time on the doorstep. Tiptoeing past Caroline's door and feeling Lee's hands on her back as he shoved her into the next room.

Then everything went black.

She woke up alone in a bed that she was pretty sure wasn't the one she had intended to sleep in with a hangover that threatened to split her skull. She shut her eyes and prayed that she would just die.

A blare of sunlight hitting her face was the only thing that brought her back to the land of the living. She opened her eyes to see Lee smirking at her. He was leaning up against the window wearing only a towel. She managed to hiss "go to hell, Adama" before pulling the sheet over her head. She did a quick check and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her bra and underwear exactly where they should be. "Where am I?" she asked through the sheet.

"You're in my bedroom." She could hear Lee laughing and fought the urge to jump out of bed to slug him. "Actually, to be accurate, you're in my bed."

"Why am I in your bed?"

"My guess is I was tired last night and just wanted to go to sleep. I probably dragged you in here with me."

"Why didn't I protest?"

"I distinctively remember you saying you were tired, too." She heard a rustling and a few minutes later, she felt the bed dip beside her. After a few seconds, she felt a poke in her side. "Don't fraking touch me if you want to keep that hand," she growled. Lee kept poking her, though. "Get the frak away from me, Adama."

The bed shifted again, and Kara felt the sheet pull away from her head. Lee let out a sigh of relief when he saw she was smiling. "Time to get up, Kara."

"No fraking way," she objected and tried to pull the covers back up. Lee fought her and before she knew what was happening, they were wrestling again. It felt different doing this sober, not exactly dangerous but still exciting.

Once they were both out of breath, Kara sighed and let herself lay down next to Lee. After a moment, Lee shifted to rest his head on her stomach. It should have felt weird considering she had only met him the day before, but somehow it didn't. "Why do you want me to get up so much? It's not like you want to use the bed."

"I was going to go for a run around the block, and I remembered Zak saying you liked that kind of thing. I thought you might want to go with me."

"What am I supposed to wear?"

Lee's eyes went down to the bag on the floor. Kara couldn't remember bringing that in here, but she must have. "You can't tell me there aren't running clothes in there."

Kara rolled her eyes and pushed Lee's head away. She got to her feet and rummaged around the bag until she found her sports bra and shorts. She motioned for Lee to turn around to which he rolled his eyes but did as she asked.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before," he pointed out.

"I don't think Zak would like you seeing his girlfriend's plumbing." She quickly changed and gave Lee's shoulder a shove. Within thirty seconds, their running shoes were on and they were fighting their way down the stairs.

When they reached the downstairs, Lee put his hand up to block the front door. "Something wrong?" Kara asked.

"If you don't have anything to do later, there's a lake on the other side of the city that I think you would love. Zak mentioned you were an artist, and I think I could be really quiet for you if you wanted to sketch or something."

Kara smiled and gave a small nod. Going to see a lake with Lee sounded perfect. Zak would be here in a day or two so she probably wouldn't have that much quiet time. He kept talking about all the places he wanted to show her, and she knew that Caroline would want to spend time with the two of them.

Satisfied, Lee grabbed Kara's hand and pulled her out the door. They fell into a steady rhythm, running side by side.

* * *

Caroline Adama paused in her baking and smiled. She picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number of her younger son's dorm room. He sounded half-asleep. "Zak, honey, it's Mom."

"Hey. How's it going? Did Kara make it in okay?"

"Yes, and Lee, too." Caroline could practically hear the smile on her baby boy's face.

"So how'd it go?"

"Your Kara has the distinction of being the first woman to pass the Lee test."

Zak let out a loud cry of triumph, and Caroline smiled. She loved that her younger son used his brother's approval as a way to figure out if the girl he was dating was really as great as he thought. "No way. Lee was actually civil to Kara?"

"More than that, the two of them wouldn't shut up during dinner and then he took her out into the city with the guys."

"Frak me. He hasn't even taken _me_ out with his friends!"

"And guess where they are now? Running."

"Mother fraker! Oops. Sorry, Mom."

"He's taking her to the lake later today."

"Good thing this is Lee we're talking about or I'd be jealous."

Caroline smiled, but there was a nagging doubt at the back of her head. "I'll let you get some sleep, baby. Call later today so you can hear how much fun your girlfriend is having with your crazy mother."

"Thanks, Mom," Zak said. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

"Tell Lee not to steal my girlfriend," Zak managed to spit out before the line went dead.

Caroline hung up the phone and shook her head. Everyone told her that having two young boys was going to be a handful, but it seemed that things had only gotten worse now that they were grown-up. At least there was Kara. Maybe having another female perspective in the family would calm the two Adama brothers down a bit. Gods know she needed the help when it came to those two.


	40. Dance

_It had all started with an innocent bet over a rather interesting hand of triad and ended in the middle of the night with an intimate dance in the center of the hangar bay with only the empty Vipers to guard them from prying eyes._

Lee had never been one to beat big on a hand he didn't know he could win, but there was something in Kara's laugh, in her smile, that told him he had her. He had her trapped in a stone, cold bluff.

"I want something from you, Starbuck."

Lee turned to look at the man next to him. For a second, he had forgotten Helo was still in this hand. He had only know Karl Agathon for a few days now, but he felt like he could read the Raptor ECO like a book. He had something, but it wasn't good enough.

"You always want something from me, Karl," Kara countered.

"I was talking to some of the pilots in the mess, and they were telling me what a shame it was that I missed the Colonial Day celebrations. It seems there was a particularly attractive blond lighting up the dance floor. Very unbecoming of a Fleet pilot, but I would have liked to have seen it."

"I'm not putting that dress on for you."

Helo chuckled and shook his head. "That's okay. I'd rather see you dance."

Kara narrowed her eyes. "You want to see me dance?"

"Yeah. I have two hundred cubits here that will match the promise of a dance."

"I have the cubits," Kara said, pointing to her stack.

"I don't want the cubits," Helo insisted.

Kara rolled her eyes, and Lee realized with a start that she was going to give in. He couldn't understand this relationships she had with Helo. For a man she seemed to be treating like her best friend, she hadn't talked about him that much after he was lost in the attacks.

Kara scribbled her agreement on a piece of paper and slid it into the center of the table. She waited a moment before looking over at Lee. "You going to go in on this?"

Lee thought it over. This dance was Helo's request, not his. He felt almost as if he was intruding.

Helo leaned over and whispered, "Go in, Captain."

Lee smiled and threw a handful of cubits into the middle. "Only because my hand is so good," he insisted.

The rounds of betting wound down quickly after that. Everyone wanted to see who was going to win. They didn't care how much the person won.

It was only when Kara went all in that things got interested. Helo waited a few seconds before throwing down his cards. He claimed he didn't want to lose all his money on his first night back at the tables. The start of a smile danced at the corners of Kara's lips, and that cemented it. She was bluffing.

Lee pushed his whole stack of cubits, cigars, and miscellaneous clothing to the center of the table. "I call."

Kara's face went white. She hadn't expected him to do that.

Everything went to chaos as soon as Lee laid down the full colors. Kara flung her cards at his head, screaming lucky bastard, and Lee knew it was her way of not being caught in a bluff. He let her get away with it.

People were congratulating him for hours. He took down the mighty Starbuck. Lee was so busy fending off the praise and trying to make a graceful exit that he didn't notice when Kara made hers. People kept handing him drinks, and Lee did his best to give the impression that he wanted to be here. In reality, he just wanted to go back to his bunk. He had to fly CAP in six hours, and then he had a high stack of paperwork to get to Colonel Tigh. There were hours of medical updates to be sorted through, not to mention he had to review Kara's latest report on the nuggets. He would need his rest.

An hour after the game ended, Kat gathered his earnings up and pushed them into his chest. "There's an opening, sir. You should take it and get the frak out of here." She took the piece of paper that was on the top of all the cubits and tucked it between his two tanks. "You might want to hold on tight to that one."

Lee gave his pilot a smile of thanks and slipped out the door within seconds. He enjoyed spending time with his pilots, but he couldn't deny that things were different now that he was CAG. There were responsibilities, especially now that his father was working at half capacity. He needed to be the strong son and focused CAG like everyone expected him to be.

Sighing, Lee tried to put his winnings away in his locker without waking anyone up. It was deep into the third shift and quite a few of the bunk curtains were closed. He shrugged out of his tanks and cargos, shoving them somewhere in the bottom of his locker. He'd straighten them in the morning.

Grabbing a pair of sweatpants, he was about to gently close the locker door when he noticed a piece of paper by his feet. As he bent down, he suddenly remembered that Kat had shoved Kara's I.O.U. between his tanks.

He turned the worn piece of paper over in his hands a few times before setting it on the shelf above his pillow. He sat down in his bunk and slid his sweatpants on one leg at a time. His eyes kept drifting back to the little piece of paper. He wasn't sure what to do with it.

Lee laid down in his bunk and stared up at the ceiling. He hadn't wanted this stupid dance. It was Helo's idea. Things had been tense between Kara and himself. Stuff happened on Caprica that she wasn't telling him about, and they both knew it. The last thing they needed was something as private as a dance where all they could do was talk.

Or maybe that was exactly what they needed. He wasn't quite sure.

Lee shut his eyes and tried to push those thoughts from his mind. It only took a few minutes for him to start tossing and turning. His relationship with Kara had always been a hard one to define, but ever since the attacks on the Twelve Colonies, it had gotten impossible. He never knew if he was overstepping his bounds or if she wanted more from him. They blew hot and cold, and Lee found himself just wanting it to be warm.

He wanted them to be back to whatever chaos they liked to call normal.

Then, it hit him. His eyes shot open and immediately focused on the small piece of paper hanging over his head. He couldn't sleep. He had an apology to make.

Lee slid out of bed, being sure not to make a noise, and walked to the bunk directly across from his. He pulled the curtain back and smiled. Kara was laying there, her arm flung over her head, completely oblivious to the world. It was refreshing.

"Kara," he whispered. He reached out to gently shake her shoulder. "Wake up."

She didn't startle awake like he thought she would. Instead, her eyes kind of glided open and went wide as she stared at him. Her voice came out sleepy and low. "Lee?"

Lee reached into the bunk to grab her hand. "Come with me."

Kara let him pull her to her feet, and they were halfway out the bunkroom before she asked where they were going. Lee shook off her question with a smile. She didn't ask again.

Lee was grateful that it was the middle of the night. The hangar bay was near deserted, and the crew that was here knew to turn away at the sight of them. He felt Kara lean her body in closer to his as if she could hide behind him. He suddenly realized how odd they must look, Kara in her tank and running shorts, him with only his sweatpants on.

Tightening his hand around hers, he pulled her out of view between two Vipers. His free hand came out to run along the letters of Kara's name and rank. Of course it would be her Viper they would end up next to.

He felt Kara pull away from him and turned to give her the explanation he knew she would be demanding any second now. He expected her to look annoyed which was why the content smile made him stop in his tracks. She leaned against the ship behind her. "This one's yours."

Lee's eyes went wide. She was right. They were standing between their two ships.

"Did you plan this, Lee?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"No… I… no." Lee shook his head. Their Vipers were never kept next to each other. They were the two most qualified pilots on this ship, and when an alert was raised, they were the first to be sent out. Having their Vipers close to separate launch tunnels made it easier to get them out there. Their Vipers were never kept next to each other.

"So you pulled me away from a very nice dream, Captain," Kara teased. "Are you ever going to explain why?"

Lee watched her for a few seconds before moving to stand in front of her. "I wanted my dance." He held his hand out for her to take and waited.

Her protest was soft as she slid her hand into his. "Lee, I'm not wearing shoes."

"Neither am I," he pointed out. He gave her a little spin before starting to sway. The sounds of the hangar echoed off the walls, giving them a nice rhythm. Kara's body relaxed into his after a few seconds.

Lee took a moment to dip her low to the ground, and Kara's laughter made his heart soar. He had missed her.

He pulled her close to him again and was thankful to feel her hands wrap around his waist. They were swaying more than dancing now, but it didn't matter. He was just happy to be close to her.

"I'm sorry," Lee whispered as their motions slowed.

"For what?"

"For leaving you."

"Lee, you didn't leave me. I left you," she corrected.

He shook his head. "No. Before that, on Colonial Day."

Kara pulled back to look him in the eyes. "Is that what this is about?"

"I wanted to give you the dance I should have."

Kara smiled and tightened her grip. "Thank you."

Lee pushed her out into another ridiculous twirl, making her laugh again. This was what had gone wrong on Colonial Day. They had tried to be something they were not.

This, dancing barefoot in the hangar bay, was what they were. Lee was happy to get back to that.

Shutting his eyes, he chuckled softly. This was an apology, all right. Starbuck and Apollo style.

It had all started with an innocent bet over a rather interesting hand of triad and ended in the middle of the night with an intimate dance in the center of the hangar bay with only the empty Vipers to guard them from prying eyes.


	41. Share

"_The kids at school were sharing this old legend they heard about two stars that spent their whole lives moving within inches of each other, constantly scorching one another over and over again," Kara's chuckle traveled to the Admiral's ears on the other end of the line before she continued, "and for some reason, it reminded me of Lee."_

The conversation was simple. It was normal.

The two of them had always used this time to simply connect. She missed the sky, and he missed his hotheaded pilot who always seemed to be the brightest star under his watch.

They had never breached the one unspoken topic lying between them until Kara had a funny story to tell about her art class that day.

"The kids at school were sharing this old legend they heard about two stars that spent their whole lives moving within inches of each other, constantly scorching one another over and over again," Kara's chuckle traveled to the Admiral's ears on the other end of the line before she continued, "and for some reason, it reminded me of Lee."

The line was silent for the first time ever during these conversations, and Kara knew she had said something wrong. "Sir?"

"He…"

Kara gripped the handset in the grounded Raptor and listened closely as the Old Man fought for the right words. He had never stumbled like this before.

It only took Adama a few seconds to get his bearings back, but still the words coming from his side of the line surprised Kara. "There was a joke circulating the Fleet those first few months we were on the run. I think Zarek started it. He really enjoyed infusing the mythology of the gods onto our daily lives. Whomever it was, they seemed to like the legend of the twin children of Zeus, Artemis and Apollo."

"I've heard that one," Kara confirmed. "I always thought it was ridiculous."

"I didn't." Adama took a deep breath. "You two were always two halves of the same coin, different but the same. You were very similar to Zak, Kara, but you've always known that. Lee's told me stories about watching the two of you when Zak was still alive. You were both living in the moment, taking what you can while you can. You were headstrong and stubborn and so full of life that it kills me ton know how it ended."

"It kills me, too," Kara whispered. Zak was a topic they didn't breach much these days, but she couldn't say that meant the guilt was any less.

"Zak and Lee were best friends because of their differences. It didn't surprise me that you slid right into that void when the Cylons first attacked."

"He filled a void for me, too," Kara agreed.

"And yet you two did everything you could to deny it." Adama smiled as the line filled with dead air. He figured that comment would scare her into silence. He had always pretended he didn't see what was going on between her and Lee, but it was time he ended the ruse. "You have spent years dancing around each others. Trust me, I would know seeing as how I was the one both of you came to to pick up the pieces."

"I'm sorry if I was a burden, sir."

"Don't, Kara. I didn't mind listening to both of you say the same things to my face while knowing you would never say it to each other. It was my burden to bear in order to keep you two from burning bridges completely."

"So I guess I was right to find my thoughts drifting to Lee," Kara muttered.

"You two don't have to avoid each other forever. Take it from an old man who sees and hears both sides of the story. He misses you, Kara."

The laugh that came from the other end of the line made William Adama's heart ache. "I'm sorry, sir, but Lee has made it clear no matter what we once were, he does not miss one second of having me in his life. He's free now."

"Whatever he's said to you must have been out of anger or frustration."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now I'm going to have to get off the line, Old Man. There's a line of former pilots who want to talk to their friends up in the sky."

She was lying, and they both knew it. "Hasn't Lee been angry at you before, Kara? The anger always fades."

"That was before."

"Before what?"

"Before I got married," Kara whispered. "I'm sorry, sir. I really have to go."

"All right. Same time next week?"

"Yeah. I'll bring more stories from the children."

"I look forward to it."

Kara heard the line click off and set down the transmitter. The Old Man had never been wrong before, but she had a feeling that even he could have an off day. Things were changed, and nothing she could do would put them back to right.

Then again, Laura had mentioned something to her about a new supply of paints for her classes before she left the school that day, and if Kara remembered correctly, the last place in the Fleet to have fresh paints was the Pegasus.

Maybe the Old Man's streak of being right was still in tact.

Kara sighed and stood up from the chair. She paused in the fresh chill of the New Caprican air, and her eyes drifted up. She could just make out the shape of the two battlestars from here.

"Apollo and Artemis, huh?" she muttered, shaking her head and starting her way back to her tent.


	42. Hope

"_I had a hope that you would forget all those lies your mother told you and believe me when I say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met," Lee whispered to her, and it was all Kara could do to focus on the triad cards in her hand and not on the small profession of love by her superior officer._

Within ten seconds, Lee knew Kara was having a bad day. Usually she was all taunts and laughter when she took a seat at the triad table, but this time she was silent as she mercilessly took all of Hot Dog's cigars and his only extra sweatshirt.

He knew better than to keep playing when Starbuck was in this kind of mood and motioned for Gaeta to deal him out of the hand.

Leaning back in his chair, Lee racked his brain, trying to come up with why she might be so out of it, and finally remembered the XO asking her to try to come up with a way to rig colonial weapons to their captured Cylon Raider. It was meaningless task, something that wasn't necessary, and Colonel Tigh knew it. He just wanted to get to the almighty Starbuck in the only real way he could.

Lee watched a glimmer of a smirk come to Kat's face as she pushed her last bottle of conditioner into the pot and braced himself for another stupid comment from the graduated nugget.

"I might have to let you win this hand, Lieutenant. Some of the civilians who were on ship yesterday were commenting on the rather rough looking woman who was running the corridors. I could only assume they meant you and your morning jog."

Lee watched Kara's jaw tighten and knew that the words had hit home somehow.

"You have been taking care of yourself less and less these days. I understand there's no real reason when our lives are guided by the basic need to survive. I mean, no one gets on my case if I hit my rack for extra downtime in lieu of a shower." Kat threw a handful of cubits into the pot before leaning closer to the table. "But you're rather high profile, Starbuck. You think you would try to set a good example."

Kara laid down her cards carefully. "Are you currently breathing, Katraine?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry," Kara apologized. "I'll talk slow and in simple words. Are you taking in air and then letting it out in a manner that implies you are not dead?"

"Yeah," Kat said, rolling her eyes.

"Right. You are alive because I busted my ass to prove you knew nothing about flying. I broke you down and brought you back up. Every time you take a Viper off this ship, you stay alive because of me. I am the flight instructor, top gun, and the only gods-damn pilot who can do a full work-up on her own bird. I had to sacrifice a lot of things to do all I can to keep stupid mother frakers like you alive, Kat, so show a little respect."

Lee watched the other triad players smirk and chuckle as Kat was put in her place, but he couldn't muster the energy to join them. The words were pure Starbuck, but they didn't match the look in her eyes. Her mind was somewhere else and had been since Kat's first comment.

Kara picked her cards up off the table and sighed. "When I was young, my mama always said that this is a dog eat dog world and if I wanted to be anything, I had to work harder than everyone else. I had to be harder, tougher, than any of the men out there fighting to take my position. She told me there wasn't time to be a girl if you wanted to make something of yourself, and she was right. Maybe the second I have to stop working so hard to prove myself to frakers like you Kat, I'll have time to work on my hygiene so I can be easy on the eyes."

No one said much after that. The triad bets went around the table a few times, and there was a small amount of teasing and joking. Then it was quiet again. Kara won with four on a run. No one was surprised.

Racetrack started shuffling the triad deck for another round, and Lee took the small window of opportunity where no one was watching either him or Kara to lean a little closer to the woman seated next to him. "I can't believe you just shared that bit about your mother with the whole table."

Kara looked over at him and smiled. "I guess I really am tired."

Lee nodded. He had known for years about the beliefs Sarah Thrace had tried to instill in her daughter, but that was only because Kara was so weak after Zak's death. She had broken down in the remembrance ceremony after the burial. Lee had seen it coming and made sure she was out of the way when she finally lost control. It was only because she was scared that she started talking about how much her mother would have disapproved of the way she loved Zak.

Lee learned a lot of things that day which he filed away for when he would need them.

This was one of those times.

Taking a deep breath, he leaned close enough that he could smell the small lavender scent of her shampoo. "I had a hope that you would forget all those lies your mother told you and believe me when I say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met," Lee whispered to her, and it was all Kara could do to focus on the triad cards in her hand and not on the small profession of love by her superior officer.

She cleared her throat as Lee moved away to gather up the new cards being dealt to him. "You know my daddy also had a few things to say about hygiene."

It seemed Kat knew better than to open her mouth on this one.

"He always warned me about the opposite sex, said that if I spent too much time focusing on men that I would mess everything up. Some crazy guy could come in and ruin all the dreams I had if I wasn't careful."

"Damn straight," Racetrack agreed as she threw two cigars into the middle of the table.

"I spent years heeding his advice."

"And now?" Gaeta asked.

"I'm starting to think it might be kind of nice to lay down my dreams and just let myself be." Kara looked directly at Kat. "It might be nice to have the time to start worrying about how I looked."

"I think you look just fine," Gaeta pointed out.

"Thank you," Kara said, smiling and turning back to her cards. "Then again, why should I give everything up just to look pleasing to the world? I was raised to be a strong woman, to follow my dreams no matter what road I ended up on."

"Why can't you have both?" Racetrack said, nodding.

Kara's eyes drifted down to her hands. They were caked with grease and dirt from working on the Raider, and she didn't think her fingernails would ever come clean. The rest of her body pretty much matched that little detail. Smirking, she looked around the table. Her eyes settled briefly on Lee. She gave him a wink before moving on to Kat. "I want a man who isn't afraid to call me beautiful despite the fact that I don't have time to make an effort. I want a man who could call me beautiful when I'm covered in grease and dirt and actually make me believe he meant it."

"Such a man doesn't exist," Kat said with a laugh.

Kara nodded in agreement, and it was only because Lee had known her for years that he was able to brace himself for the kill shot. "You're right. That kind of man doesn't exist… at least not for people like you, Katraine."

"And what about you, Thrace?"

Kara laughed. "I already have one, thank you very much, and now folks, it's time to bring this little gabfest of confessions and accusations to a close." She threw down her cards, revealing full colors, and began to do a little victory shimmy.

Lee leaned back in his chair and smiled. Mission accomplished. Starbuck was back to normal.


	43. Mask

_It was only when Lee yelled at her about using her call sign as a mask that Kara realized the only time she said what she truly felt was when her flight helmet was firmly in place and the stars were at her back._

The argument that changed everything between them started for stupid reasons. Lee hadn't been taking their transfer to the Pegasus very well, and Kara was tired of hearing him bitching and complaining. She told him just that while they were on their way to their joint maintenance shift.

Kara never realized how much the crew of Galactica had adjusted to her relationship with Lee until they were both thrust onto this new ship. They screamed at each other all the way down the corridor, and people actually looked at them in fear. The Pegasus crew didn't know that most of the Apollo/Starbuck fights were all bark and no bite. If you weren't seeing them argue in the gym, there was a ninety-five percent chance they wouldn't come to blows.

Their fight bridged all the usual topics, Zak, her personal choices, Lee's unwavering sense of duty and responsibility, the Old Man, their flying abilities, and even moved on to some not so usual topics, such as the way Kara kept forgetting to salute him and how Lee always seemed to break up the triad games whenever she was winning. People stared at them the whole time, and unlike Galactica, not one person smirked at the sight of another Apollo/Starbuck show.

Then, Lee went and called her on her shit. He had to slam reality back into her until it hurt. Because it was only when Lee yelled at her about using her call sign as a mask that Kara realized the only time she said what she truly felt was when her flight helmet was firmly in place and the stars were at her back.

"So what?" she screamed. "So I'm not all willing to talk about each and every feeling I have like you seem to want to do? Does that make me a lesser person?"

"You know that's not what I meant," Lee insisted.

Kara skidded to a stop and turned to glare at him. "What _did _you mean?"

"We're always fraking fighting every second we're not in the air. A nugget asked me the other day how you and I could be wingmen if we hated each other. It took me way too long to convince him that you and I didn't act like idiots when we were in the sky together. That got me thinking why that was."

Kara stared at him a moment. "And?"

"And I told you my theory."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical. You always have to blame it on me, don't you, Captain?"

Lee bit his tongue to keep from snapping at her again and started stalking down the corridor. Kara caught up to him after a few steps. "Do you have any idea where you're even going?" she asked.

"We have a maintenance shift," he reminded her.

"I know that. I just want to be sure you know the way to the hangar bay because this doesn't look familiar."

Lee paused. She was right. This corridor didn't look like the ones on the way to the hangar. He had never realized that the Mercury class battlestar was so different from the Galactica class.

"You are such a fraking moron," Kara hissed, storming ahead of him.

Lee grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "We can't just go stalking around the ship."

"Why not?"

"Because the people already hate us here. We're outsiders."

"So that means we can't ask how to get to where we have to go?" Kara rolled her eyes for the hundredth time. "You are pathetic, Adama."

Lee tightened his grip on her arm and held her in place. "And you're really pissing me off, Thrace. I'm sick and tired of you taking these unnecessary jabs at me."

"I'm fraking tired, too," Kara screamed, attracting the attention of a few passersby. "I'm fraking tired of being the only one who can deal with your shit. I'm tired of being the one you always come to so you can fraking complain about how sad it is to be stranded with people you never intended to serve with. You need to grow up, Lee. Be a man for once."

That was the final straw in Lee's mind. Seeing an open hatch behind them, he shoved Kara hard into the wall and then twisted her body through the hatchway. She groaned that that had hurt even as he was slamming the hatch shut. There was a small clunk and then silence.

"Get out of my way," Kara hissed, trying to move past him.

Lee slammed her back into the wall. "Not until I get some answers as to why you're such a raging bitch to me all the fraking time."

"It takes one to know one," Kara shot back. She pushed past him to try to the handle to the hatch and found it was locked. "It's locked," she hissed, turning to glare at him. "You know you really suck."

Lee was about to tell her she sounded like a two year old when his eyes caught on an open doorway behind her. He thought this was a service locker. Service lockers didn't have more than one door. Ignoring the string of expletives still falling from Kara's mouth, he stepped into the other room. "Frak me," he groaned.

Kara peeked over his shoulder to see what was so distressing. "Oh we are so frakked."

They had just locked themselves into Admiral Cain's office and personal quarters, and the only way out was through the main hatch. The one with the Marine guard.

"We must have been in the housekeeping entrance to Cain's quarters," Lee whispered, stating the obvious.

Kara glared at him. "It doesn't matter. I'm getting out of here."

Lee watched her walk across the office like she had been in this room a million times before and pull on the hatch. It didn't budge. She turned around to look angrily at him. "What did you do?"

"I didn't touch that hatch," he said, holding his hands up in the air. "I swear to the gods."

"It's not unlocking." Something suddenly popped into Kara's mind, a few, short sentences on the bottom of the summons to Cain's office she had gotten a few hours earlier. It said to use the open housekeeping entrance because the main hatch had malfunctioned. It was going to be stuck until the next shift change. "Frak me, Lee. You just locked us into Cain's office and we're not going to be able to get out before she finds us." Lee started to laugh immediately, and Kara wondered if maybe he had finally lost it. "What's so funny?"

"It's such a Starbuck move to accidentally get us locked in here. I'm surprised _I_ was the one to do it."

"You are such an asshole," she growled. "How about we talk about that since you seem to want to air out all our issues? Why do you feel the need to constantly mock me? Does it give you some sick kind of pleasure?"

"The same sick pleasure you have when you're pointing out all my flaws all the time."

"I don't do that," Kara insisted.

"You've done it at least ten times in this argument alone."

"You were counting? How anal-retentive of you!"

"Eleven," Lee said, rolling his eyes. "And at least my anal-retentiveness is more useful than your damn stubbornness."

"My stubbornness has saved your ass more times than you can count."

"Only when we're in the air. When we're on the ground, all your stubbornness is good for is a black eye and sore jaw."

Kara didn't hesitate to swing at him. If that was all her stubbornness was good for, then she had a good reason to hit him right now. She was feeling particularly stubborn at the moment. Lee dodged her blows with ease and maneuvered her away from Cain's office where their fighting could really make a mess of things. They were in enough trouble as it was. She managed to land a punch to his right cheek as he finally pushed her into the bedroom.

The dynamic between them changed, and Kara was no longer swinging. This time she was all out pounding on him as the fight shifted to something more physical. Lee managed to shove her into a wall a few times to slow her down, but she still found the energy to launch herself at him. They ended up in a pile on the floor. Lee quickly moved to hold her body down. "Would you stop? I didn't want to fight."

"You sure acted like it when we were walking through those corridors," Kara spit back.

"Arguing is different than fighting," he pointed out. "It hurts a lot less."

"But I thought my stubbornness annoyed the shit out of you."

"It does." Kara watched the corners of Lee's mouth turn up in a smile. "But I never said I didn't like the fact that it annoyed the shit out of me."

Kara couldn't say what exactly came over her, but the next thing she knew, she was grabbing Lee's head and pulling his lips close enough that she could taste him. She managed to register the look of shock on his face before she was kissing him with a heat she hadn't even realized was brewing inside her. It took Lee a second to respond, but when he did, it was rather obvious where his thoughts were. Kara felt his weight push down on her body, and she couldn't help but moan. This fights definitely turned him on as much as they did her.

It took her by surprise when she realized that Lee was trying to tell her something between kisses. She had no clue why he always had to try to be rational about things. "Just shut up," she growled, flipping their bodies so that she was on top. Her fingers worked the buttons on his flight suit. She was almost done when his hands came out to still hers.

"Kara."

"I told you to shut up," she hissed, leaning in to kiss him again. Kissing would keep him from over thinking.

Lee stopped her. "I wanted to make something clear."

Kara sighed. There was something painfully right about Lee trying to make her slow down and talk to him. "What?"

"All those things I tease you about, they're the reasons why I love you."

His words made her smile just like they had when they were on the Astral Queen. "Lee Adama loves me," she whispered. It surprised her when it didn't come out as a tease like it did the first time. She tried it out again and realized that she wasn't even focused on him. She just wanted to hear how it sounded again.

Scratch that. She needed to hear how it sounded.

"I do, Kara," he whispered. "Even if you're a stubborn ass most of the time."

His little add-on at the end made her smile. This had felt strangely like a cheesy movie for a minute there.

Kara's smile shifted to a look of mischief, and Lee knew he had either done something horribly wrong or something completely and utterly right. She leaned in to start kissing his jaw line. "Here's what I'm thinking."

Lee furrowed his brow and tried to concentrate less on the sensations she was stirring within him and more on the memory of that wicked smile he had just seen. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking you and I are stuck in this place for at least a few hours until someone figures out we're missing. We need to find a way to pass the time." Kara scooted her kisses closer to his mouth.

"And you thought we could do that how?"

"A frak on the good Admiral's bed seems rather fitting in a situation like this." The tip of her tongue came out to trace his lips before slowly increasing the pressure of the kiss. "What do you say, Lee?"

"I say you're fraking insane."

"You love that about me," she reminded him with a smile.

Lee wrapped his arms tightly around her back and picked their joined bodies up off the floor. He threw her back onto the bed and was rewarded with a laugh that echoed off the walls of their superior officer's quarters. Lee shook his head. "You are going to get me into such trouble one day, Kara."

Kara stared at him from her spot on the bed as he pulled off the rest of his flight suit and both his tanks. Her tongue came out to wet her lips when he moved to lay next to her on the bed. His fingers touched the stray hairs that had come out of her ponytail before moving down to pull off her tanks.

"I like that you're a handful of trouble," Lee whispered as he kissed her collarbone. Kara smiled and wrapped her arms around his back. "I like that I always seem to have the most fun when you're goading me into doing something stupid."

"Like fraking?"

"You don't goad me to do that often enough," he pointed out. His hands felt their way down to her belt buckle, and he made quick work of it.

"I'll try to remedy that," Kara said. She pulled back from him to slid the pants past her hips.

A loud bang from the office made them both freeze before she could move back into his arms. A bellowing voice, which they could only assume was one of the ship's techs, announced that they would probably be done within the next fifteen minutes. Lee's eyes went wide, and he moved to grab his clothes.

"Oh no you don't!" Kara shouted, shoving him back down on the bed. "We are not getting dressed."

"They're going to be opening that hatch, Kara," Lee hissed.

Kara stood up off the bed and quickly pulled off both her bra and panties. She was pleased to see an immediate reaction from Lee. "Then we are going to have to make quick work of this, Captain. Up."

Lee was too enthralled to protest. He had Kara, naked and willing, standing right in front of him with that damn impatient look on her face. That kind of thing could thrown any man for a loop. Her hands clutched the waist of his boxers, and he lifted his butt slightly to help her get them off. The cold air felt amazing on his already too hot skin.

Kara flung the last piece of clothing away and moved onto the bed. She straddled his waist and gave him that famous Starbuck smile before lowering herself down onto him.

The reaction was instantaneous. Lee tightened his hands around her back and moved his hips upward, pushing himself a few inches deeper. He looked up at her and saw her eyes were closed. She was biting down on her bottom lip to keep herself quiet. He leaned in to trail light kisses across her breasts as she continued to ride his body. The springs of the bed creaked under their movements.

She forgot about staying silent as he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked gently. Her fingers dug into his back. Her pace quickened. He could feel her already nearing the edge. Her eyelids fluttered open, and her eyes met his. She gave him a small smile before tightening her walls around him.

Lee had to fight to stay in control as she started whispering things in his ear that he had only ever heard in his dreams. His forehead rested against her naked chest as he thrust himself inside of her. His eyes fell to where their bodies were joined. He could see himself moving in and out of her, and it was all he could to keep it together.

Kara felt his eyes drift away from her, and when she saw what he was staring at, a moan fell from her lips. "Gods," she whispered, arching her back to shift to a different angle. Lee turned his attention back to her, and they began to kiss as they lost the rhythm and just surrendered to the feelings.

The beginnings of a scream fell from her lips as he exploded inside her, touching just the right spot. He bit down on her bottom lip to silence her until he felt her heart finally stop pounding so fast. She pulled back and reached her hand up to her mouth. It came back with a few drops of blood on it. "Ow," she hissed.

Lee laughed and leaned in to kiss it better. "I'm sorry. I couldn't have you screaming."

Kara's eyes shifted to the still locked door, and she suddenly remembered what they had just done. "I guess we just got our welcome aboard present from the Admiral."

Lee laughed and pushed her away from him, finally breaking the connection. "Get dressed. We have about two minutes to come up with a good reason why we're locked in our commanding officer's personal quarters."

Kara was about to get up and start gathering their clothes when she felt Lee's hand grip her wrist. Before she could register what was happening, he pulled her back onto the bed and returned that same heated kiss she had given him which started this whole thing. When he was satisfied, he slid off the bed and reached for his boxers. "And try to get that freshly frak look off your face, Lieutenant."

Kara picked up a boot and flung it at him. "I hate you."

Lee looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. "Yeah. That's another thing I love about you."


	44. Goodbye

"_This is for you, Kara," Lee said, cutting off the comm channel to her Viper and giving his XO the order to drive Pegasus straight into the base star before them._

A part of him always knew it would end this way. He was never supposed to be here with these brave men and women.

He was a pilot from Atlantia, discontent with the direction his life had taken. He was going to retire as soon as his commission was over. He served his time. He followed in his father's footsteps. He just had to push it a few more months, and then he'd be free.

Somehow, he knew he would try to find Gianne and repair what he had broken that day. She deserved more than what he gave her. She was a good woman.

Lee closed his eyes. He could hear his officers screaming out the points of damage on his ship. The comm channels were open. The voices mingled together to push and pull at him, dulling his senses.

He was never supposed to be here.

Every day he was here, things were happening that never should have been. Tom Zarek should have been shot dead long before he became a problem. Kara should never have been pushed to go to Caprica. Roslin should have been unseated before Gaius Balter got the lust for power. He should have given his life to save his father from that bullet. The Blackbird should still be around. Dee should be happily married to a man who loved her and didn't constantly wonder what if.

Lee opened his eyes to look at his CIC. These were his men. They trusted him.

They were fools just like the rest of the Fleet.

Turning to his comms officer, he steeled himself for what he had to do. "Patch me in to her Viper." There wasn't a question of who he was referring to.

He had waited until he got word that she was off New Caprica. He should have figured she would put off getting into the Vipers they stashed for the pilots down on the surface until the last possible second. Maybe if she had gone right away, he wouldn't have to do this.

Then again, maybe he still would have. Things had to be set right.

"Shouldn't you be focusing right now, Commander?"

"I need to say goodbye to you."

"If I'm not mistaken, shouldn't that be welcome home?"

Lee's eyes scanned the faces of his crew. They were smart people. They knew what was coming. Their shields were practically non-existent at this point. They had barely any ammunition left. The port side launching tubes had caved in, taking out a chunk of the hangar bay in the process. There was a gapping hole where the officers' mess used to be, and at that very moment, the oxygen they needed to keep on fighting was being sucked out into the atmosphere.

They were running out of options.

Lee turned to face the whole of his CIC. The comm channel was still open, but this was for all to hear. "It was an honor to serve with all of you. I never thought I would love doing this as much as I did. I want to thank you for that."

"Apollo, stop being an ass."

He ignored the harsh voice growling in his ear. "You will be remembered for the sacrifices you were willing to make to protect those we love. I can assure you of that. May the gods watch over us until the last."

"Lee." Her voice broke on that one tiny word, and Lee knew that she knew.

"This is for you, Kara," Lee said, cutting off the comm channel to her Viper and giving his XO the order to drive Pegasus straight into the base star before them.

Explosions started around him as the ship diverted all its attention into that one last driving force.

Lee found himself a lot calmer than he thought he would be. He suddenly understood that everything he had ever done had been leading up to this point. His life hadn't been the same since the second he stepped foot on Galactica for that decommissioning ceremony.

A blast knocked him to his knees, and Lee found himself thinking back to the day he had lost everything.

She had walked into his office like she had done every day since they found New Caprica. He didn't know what led up to it or why she chose this particular moment. All he knew was she said that she loved him, and his heart froze.

He was scared. Like always, happiness was staring him in the face and all he felt was a fear. A fear that he wasn't good enough to deserve this. He wasn't strong enough to have this.

He let her leave his office that day just like every day since they found New Caprica.

She didn't stay with the Fleet very much longer after that. It was like he blinked and she was married and living down on the planet and happy and content and all those damn things he was too scared to let himself be.

He was left up in the sky, free to be the weak soul he knew he was, free to keep this most painful secret to himself. Without her, he was nothing.

Lee could remember a phrase he heard too often in Academy. People always said that even knowing how it would turn out, they wouldn't change one thing.

People were stupid.

If Lee had a chance, he would change it all. The only question was which way would he chose. Would he keep himself on Atlantia and die in those initial attacks? Would he put himself on Galactica and chose to be more loyal in his choices? Would he chose Pegasus and be braver, more willing to take the risks presented to him?

Lee knew the answer in his heart.

As the CIC exploded around him, he knew there was only one place he had ever been destined to be.

And _that_ he wouldn't change for the world.


	45. Command

_Lee figured now that Kara was onboard Pegasus he had about two days before the Fleet figured out it was the Commander's wife who was in charge of the ship._

Lee figured now that Kara was onboard Pegasus he had about two days before the Fleet figured out it was the Commander's wife who was in charge of the ship.

Then again, it might take his people a few days to even realize the Commander had a wife.

It had taken Lee and his father using up all the favors they had to go through the back channels and get this marriage validated. The ceremony was small, only the Admiral, President Roslin, and Helo. The priestess had been an old friend of Doc Cottle's. She was someone they could trust to not talk about the marriage that broke regulations or the fact that the President of the Twelve Colonies was present to endorse it.

Lee knew all the struggle was worth it when he saw Kara smile at him before leaning in for their first kiss as man and wife. She had gone through so much in her life so when she told him that she needed them to take this step, he had believed her. He was willing to fight any person that stood in his way, even the rational ones like Tory Foster who pointed out that the fraternization regulations would be eliminated in only a few months. Kara said she couldn't wait, and Lee knew better than to doubt her.

The transfer to the Pegasus was easy to obtain. A lot of personnel were still being shifted between the two battlestars as he and his father fought to figure out what was best. Anyone from Galactica was incredibly willing to point out to the original Pegasus crew that Apollo worked better when he had Starbuck under a close watch.

Lee slid his jacket off and tossed it on the chair in his office. He kept walking until he was inside his bedroom and took a seat on his bed. Kara had been here a short while before. He could still smell her in the air. It was nice.

He took a second to assure himself that he was intend alone before letting the massive smile he had been fighting finally come to his face. He had caught Kara unknowingly rubbing her stomach when he ducked into the back row of the pilot briefing that afternoon. He wondered if she was even aware she was doing that more and more often these days.

They had talked it over and decided to not tell anyone the real reason behind Kara's need to be married. His father and the President had just assumed it had something to do with the legend of Starbuck and Apollo, the two pilots who were madly in love but could never get their timing right.

Lee loved his wife and would do anything to protect her. A few months wasn't that long of a time to wait, but it was too long. Lee felt his smile widen because in a few months, his wife, the love of his life, his Kara, would be showing with the first signs of the life they had created together.

And when that happened, no one would deny that Starbuck had not only the Pegasus but the whole fraking Fleet wrapped around her pretty, little finger.


	46. Naked

_He had no idea how he ended up locked in an equipment closet stark naked with a still-clothed Kara, but Lee had a hunch that she was at least partially behind it._

It started rather innocently with him finishing up his maintenance shift and hitting the head to wash the grease and grime off his skin. He was walking back to the senior officers' bunkroom when Kat and Hot Dog jogged into step with him. Then, in the middle of listening to them go on and on about some stupid hotshot move Starbuck pulled on her CAP that morning, everything turned to mayhem.

The next few seconds were probably always be a confusion for him. There were hands on his back shoving him forward. His towel caught on something. There was the sound of a hatch slamming shut. Then, his eyes went wide when he saw the woman currently sitting on a crate directly across from where he stood.

He had no idea how he ended up locked in an equipment closet stark naked with a still-clothed Kara, but Lee had a hunch that she was at least partially behind it.

Kara's eyes raked the full length of his body as she uncurled her legs and got to her feet. "Usually my presents don't come unwrapped like this." She paused a few feet from him and smirked. "And come to think of it, it's not my birthday."

Lee fought hard not to cover himself or act any bit embarrassed. "What the frak did you do, Kara?"

"Nothing," she said, the smirk still plastered across her face. "I guess it's my lucky day."

Lee rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of him. "Seriously. What did I do to deserve this?"

"I don't know. The last I knew, I was looking for something to patch my flight suit and then the hatch was slamming shut and locking."

"And why did I end up naked and you're still clothed?"

"I can't explain that either, but thank the gods."

Lee started to look around the locker and quickly realized there was absolutely nothing for him to cover up with. When he turned back to look at Kara, he saw she was wincing. "What's the matter?"

"Who were you walking with in the hallway?"

"Kat and Hot Dog. Why?"

"Frak!" Kara hissed. That started her on a series of swears accompanied by a few well-timed kicks to the wall.

Lee reached out and grabbed her arms to still her. She looked about ready to kill him until her eyes hit his chest and started moving downward. Lee pushed her away, doing his best not to blush. He had no clue why she kept ogling him like he was the last man in the universe?

"I can't believe those frakers did this," Kara said, yanking herself away from Lee. She started pacing, and Lee could tell she was fighting the urge to start swearing again.

"Kat and Hot Dog? Explain."

"We were playing triad last night, and the conversation swung around to talk about certain pilots' prowess in bed. Kat made a comment that she thought you would be a sheep in wolf's clothing in the sack."

"And why did that get me locked in an equipment closet naked?"

"I don't know what happened. I guess the whole thing got away from me and the next thing I knew I was kind of telling them that you were the type of guy who would frak you until your throat was hoarse. That after being with you, a woman would be reduced to a lump, no coherent thoughts to be had. You know, the kind of frak where you forget everything including your name."

Lee's eyes went wide. "Kara, you didn't."

"They all assumed that meant I was sleeping with you, and I let them. The last hand got a little out of control, and I lost a bet I made with Hot Dog."

"And what was that?"

"He wanted to see the consequences of a turn in the sack with you as proof that you really were the lovely, strapping man that I was claiming. I told him that it might take a while because you were a little busy right now to be having a big sex romp with me. I figured that they would just forget about."

Lee groaned. "But instead they locked us in an equipment closet."

"My guess is they're out there right now, listening in."

Lee looked at the locked hatch and sighed. Then a rather wicked thought caught him by surprise, and he turned back to look at her. He should feel a lot more uncomfortable about the fact that he was naked and she was staring, but for some reason, that wasn't happening. He smirked and motioned at her before turning to listen for movement at the door. "All right, Kara. Strip down and let's get this over with." He turned back in time to see Kara's jaw hit the floor and had to laugh. "Do you see any other way out of this?"

"We could just moan a lot," she suggested.

"Wouldn't sound real." Lee moved to start unbuttoning her jacket. "Listen. You're the one that brought my manhood into question. You're the one who's going to fix it."

"Lee…" Kara knew she should bat his hands away, but she just couldn't focus enough to do it.

"Come on, Kara. We've both been running ourselves ragged the past few weeks. I think we deserve the chance to make one careless, fraked-up move."

Kara's stomach dropped out. Was he really suggesting what she thought he was suggesting? "No strings attached?"

"None." Lee smirked and slid her tanks over her head. "And I promise I won't even yell at you for being stupid at the triad tables."

It took Kara a moment, but eventually Lee's stare got to be too intense and she broke away. Her hands reached down to unbutton her pants and slid them off her hips.

Lee knew that he should be stopping her any time now. This was all a joke. They both knew they weren't going to frak, and yet she was undressing. He watched Kara turn her back to him and slip her bra over her head. His eyes roamed the smooth ivory skin of her back. Gods, he wanted her.

That's what this all boiled down to. He wanted her and he had finally found a way to have her that didn't end up with him doing something stupid and fraking it all up. She had told him once that she was a screw-up which was why it would never work between them, but she had been wrong. Lee knew that he would always be the one to screw this up, and he proved it to himself time and again.

Taking a few hesitant steps forward, he reached out to run his hands along the tops of her arms and shoulders.

"You didn't warn me that it was this cold," she whispered, turning to look back at him.

Lee shook his head. "It's not." His hand trailed down to rest on her stomach. His fingers teased at the elastic of her military briefs. "See?"

"Oh."

Their eyes stayed locked for what felt like an eternity before Kara shifted around to face him. She watched his eyes travel the length of her almost naked body and figured she deserved the discomfort of being stared at. After all, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the strong muscles of his body since the second he stepped in here.

"We don't have to do this," Lee whispered even as he was pulling Kara the last few inches so that their bodies were flush against each other.

"I know," Kara replied. There had been no doubt in her mind that Lee was joking when he suggested they frak their way out of this, and yet something had been serious in his tone. That little glimpse of truth was the whole reason she let him undress her. It was the whole reason she was willing to push this as far as they could go.

Kara ran her hands up the smooth lines of his chest and rested them around his neck. She gave him what she hoped was a confident smile and leaned in to kiss him. His hands tightened around her back, and he teased her mouth open to deepen the kiss.

Lee felt his back hit the wall of the locker and quickly flipped their bodies without breaking the kiss. Kara groaned at being pressed between the hard wall and Lee's body. She could feel his erection pushing into her. "It appears like you're already ready to go, Captain," she teased between light kisses.

"You say that as if you're not. I'm going to have to do something about that," Lee teased.

Kara bit her lip as Lee's kisses slowly moved away from her lips to her neck, lingering at her collar bone, before finally dropping down to tease the area around a nipple. His hands came up to fondle the other breast, and Kara smiled despite herself.

She held his head in place against her and tried to keep her knees from giving out as he took her other nipple into his mouth. Her moans started filling the silent air around them, and her hips were bucking against the wall. The material of her military-issued underwear rubbed against her, but it didn't help the itch.

"Are you okay?" The words were whispered against her skin, and it made Kara chuckle as a slight tickle ran through her body. Lee must have noticed her discomfort.

"I'm doing just fine," she managed to whisper before he returned his attentions to her breasts. His teeth skimmed against the sensitive flesh on the side of her breast, and Kara groaned. That was going to leave a mark.

She was wildly bucking against both his touch and the wall behind her when Lee decided he had had enough of torturing her… at least in this particular way. His kisses slipped away from her chest, leaving her breasts wet from the moisture of his mouth. He licked and teased his way down her stomach all the while inching his hands into her underwear. Kara felt the cotton material slid over her hips and down to the floor and raised her feet to help kick them away.

Lee dropped to his knees and for a second, everything stopped. Kara forced her eyes open and immediately blushed when she realized he was just staring at her. She had never seen that almost ravenous look of desire before.

Kara barely had time to wrap her fingers in the metal grating of the wire rack on the wall before Lee was sliding his tongue along her folds. She let out a loud gasp and hung on for dear life.

His mouth worked her with the same intense concentration she had seen a thousand times when they were in the cockpit. Her hips pushed against him, trying to increase the pressure. She was already on edge.

Lee glanced up to see her staring down at him, watching his every move, and it caused him to double his efforts to bring her to a climax. He moved his hand up her thigh to meet where his tongues was torturing her. He slid a finger inside deep inside her and pulled it out just enough to press on the bundle of nerves. Her body shook against his touch, and Lee leaned up to drop a kiss on her stomach as he pushed another finger inside of her and then a third.

She exploded around his touch, her muscles contracting, as her vision went completely white. She could feel his hands on her hips, helping to keep her upright, and for the first time in a long while, she didn't mind the fact that she was weak.

"Still remember your name?" Lee teased, pulling himself to his feet. His knees ached a little as they came off the metal grating of the floor, but he ignored the pain. Instead he focused on the look of gratification plastered across her face.

"Kara Thrace," she teased, pulling him into a quick kiss. "You need to try harder, Captain."

Lee pushed her up against the metal rack at her back, grinding his erection into the very spot he had just spent so long teasing. "I can't get much harder than this," he whispered in her ear.

Kara's fingers snaked down his body to take him in hand. "I'd say not." She teased the length of his shaft a few times before slipping away from his hold. Smirking, she turned him so it was now his back that had metal digging into it.

Lee felt her attentions start to travel south, and two thoughts popped into his head. The first was simple. If he let her take him into her mouth, he wouldn't last very long. The second was a little more complex, flirting on the verge of something both he and Kara were actively running from at this point. Her knee would never hold up against that cold, metal floor. He wasn't going to let her cause herself pain no matter how good it made him feel.

"This isn't about me," Lee whispered, causing Kara to look up at him in surprise. He gave her a smile and then grabbing her waist, slammed her back into the wall. He knew that he should probably be too tired to even contemplate what he was about to do, but right now he didn't care.

He gripped her thighs, pulling her up off the ground and sliding into her all in one smooth motion. He rutted against her so hard that it didn't surprise him to see her mouth fly open and her arms reach back to wind her fingers in the metal grate. Something flashed in her eyes, and Lee knew he wasn't going to let up until she broke.

Kara groaned against the sharp pain mixed with the pleasure as Lee pulled himself out of her body only to push in again with an intensity that shook her to the core. The metal dug into her back, but she didn't care.

Lee lowered his mouth to her breast, taking a small taste of her nipple into his mouth, and he pulled back a little to give Kara control of the thrusts. She didn't disappoint him, immediately tightening against him and continuing the sharp thrusts. He could hear her groaning as she fought to stay in control, and it brought a smile to his face. She was so into this right now that he was willing to bet it would only take a small nudge to get her to cry out.

The rhythm slowly died out until Lee was barely pushing himself inside of her, no matter how hard she tried to move her hips towards him. His mouth was still firmly latched onto her breast, and Kara knew for a fact she would probably come from just that little bit of touch. That wasn't what she wanted, though. "Lee," she panted. She let go of the grate with one hand in order to tilt his chin up. His eyes were gleaming with such naked desire that Kara almost lost it.

"Something the matter?" Lee whispered. His voice was sexy and low just like when he first woke up, and Kara suddenly wondered what her CAG had been dreaming up all those mornings he woke up with this come-frak-me voice.

"Stop playing around."

Lee continued to tease her opening with his cock. That infuriating smirk was back on his face. "What do you want from me?"

"You know what I want."

"Do I?" Lee said, cocking an eyebrow as he pulled out of her completely.

Kara shut her eyes and tried to focus on finding the right words instead of screaming at him to get back inside of her right fraking now. "I want to know if I was right." She continued on before he could ask her about what. "I really did fight with Kat about what you would be like in the sack, and I know I'm right. So prove it to me."

"What do you want this to be?"

Her eyes locked with his, and she licked her lips. "Hard and fast. Make me want to pass out because it's that good." She smirked at him as he lowered her legs to the ground. "Think you can handle that?"

"I think so," Lee said. He grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the crate she had first been sitting on.

She felt his hands guide hers to hold onto the crate, and then he was pushing her knees apart. She braced herself for what she was sure would be a hard ride, but nothing came. Kara twisted her head to look back and saw Lee was staring at her again. His eyes roamed the lines of her backside, and his tongue came out to lick his lips. A wicked grin plastered on his face, he stepped forward and braced his hands on top of where hers sat on the crate.

"I've always dreamed of doing this," he whispered in her ear. She could feel his cock teasing her entrance and bit her lip to keep the moan in for as long as she could. "Every time you acted like a stubborn frak-up who wouldn't listen to a word I said, I imagined just ripping off your flight suit, throwing you on a desk, and just pounding into you until you couldn't argue anymore."

Kara felt the breath shoot out of her body as he finally entered her, slow and smooth. "Gods, Lee… I really wished you… you had. It would have killed the buzz, and then I wouldn't…" Her words cut off as he pushed himself a few inches deeper inside of her. "Oh gods… then I wouldn't have had to do it myself in my bunk. I don't know how many times I dreamed of our fights ending up with you fraking the shit out of me."

She could feel her words sinking into Lee as his thrusts lost their rhythm. Their bodies surrendered to a need to not make this good but to make it real. Kara felt her knees go out as the orgasm slammed through her body. Lee's hand came around her waist, holding her up, as he continued to plunge inside her.

As soon as he felt her gain control of herself again, he moved his hands from her hips to touch where they were still joined. Kara felt her eyes roll back as he pressed on the already overly sensitive spot. She started to whimper as his thrusts shook the crate beneath her, but she wasn't about to ask him to stop. She was already halfway to coming again.

Lee heard a small click somewhere to the right and was about to look to see what it was when Kara tightened around him making him forget anything except the naked woman currently gyrating beneath him.

It only took him a few seconds of her hanging on to him so tightly for him to lose all control. Lee pushed himself inside her to the hilt, finally letting go as soon as he heard her moans turn into an all-out groaning scream.

They laid together on the crate for a few minutes as the buzz wore off, and then Lee finally pulled away from her. There was a small whimper falling from her mouth as she felt him leave her body, but she was too tired to protest. Lee reached down to gather up her clothes and slowly helped slid them onto her body. "We have a problem," he whispered, straightening her jacket. Kara looked up at him in confusion, and he had to force himself not to laugh.

"What problem?" she asked, her eyes already drooping with the need for sleep.

"I'm still naked," Lee pointed out. He stepped back a few feet and let Kara's eyes take in their situation.

"I don't see how that's a problem," she said with a smile.

"Frak you," Lee hissed playfully. He reached out to tug a lock of her hair. "Would you go get me a towel or something, you brat?"

"Lee, the hatch is still locked."

Lee shook his head. "Nope. It unlocked a few minutes ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We were a little busy, and you probably would have been pretty mad at the interruption."

Kara felt her cheeks burn as she realized what he meant. "Oh."

"So go get me some clothes." Lee grabbed her hand and before she could protest, he pushed her out into the hallway.

Kara's eyes roamed the corridor. There were plenty of people around, but no one seemed the least bit interested in the fact that she had just been shoved out of an equipment locker.

It was only a few yards to the pilots' break room. Kara's eyes immediately fell to the current triad game. There was a rather familiar white towel sitting in the middle of the table. She wasn't surprised to see both Hot Dog and Kat sitting in on the game.

Kara walked slowly across the room and grabbed the towel out of the pot without saying a word.

"Hey!" Kat cried. "I was about to win that."

"It's not yours to bet, you little frakker," Kara hissed.

"Hell yeah, it's not!" Hot Dog agreed. "I found it in the hallway so therefore it's mine until you show me the cards that can beat the killer hand I have."

"It's neither of yours," Kara corrected.

"Then whose is it?"

"The CAG's. And he'll be needing it about now."

Kat looked at Hot Dog, and they shared a quick nod of agreement. Kara could have the towel to give back to Lee. Both pilots threw a few cigars into the pot to replace the reclaimed towel. "Where is the CAG, by the way?" Kat asked.

"As if you don't know."

"I don't," Kat insisted. "One second Hot Dog and I were joking about that move you pulled on CAP while we walked with the Captain back to the bunkroom, and the next thing, it's the two of us alone. We've been wondered where the frak he disappeared for hours."

Kara looked at Kat and then Hot Dog. Her stomach tied up in knots as she realized they weren't lying. They had no clue what happened to Apollo. She scanned the room quickly, and her eyes caught on Helo. He gave her a small wink before turning back to the book he was reading. Kara winced as she suddenly remembered who the fourth player at that triad game had been.

"Is there anything else you need, Starbuck?"

Kara realized that the triad table was still staring at her and shook her head. "Nope. The towel will do just fine." She turned and was about halfway to the hatch when she heard someone call out her name. She turned back to see Hot Dog staring at her. "What, Constanza?"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why the frak do you care?"

"You're look like you're in pain," Hot Dog observed. "Did you frak up your knee again or something?"

Kara took a few steps and realized that she was walking rather carefully. Well, at least there's something good coming out of this awkward encounter, she decided. Turning to look to Hot Dog, she smirked and hobbled back to the table. "Consider this me paying up on my debt." She leaned in closer to where Kat sat. "And one more thing, Katraine. You were so wrong that it's not even funny. Take it from me. Lee is a wolf in _wolf's_ clothing." Kara straightened up and groaned when she felt a pang in her back. "Now if you'll excuse me, children, I have to go deliver this to the CAG so that he doesn't have to spend the rest of his life naked in an equipment locker."

Kara didn't have to turn around to know that Kat and Hot Dog were both sitting there with their mouths hanging open. Helo's laughter filled the room just as she slammed the hatch shut.


	47. Near

_William Adama found the bodies of his two children, hands entwined, on the farthest hill of the battlefield, and knew without a doubt that they had crawled great distances to be near each other in the end._

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo

William Adama found the bodies of his two children, hands entwined, on the farthest hill of the battlefield, and knew without a doubt that they had crawled great distances to be near each other in the end.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo

Kara Thrace had never expected it to go down like this. The Fleet was supposed to return to lay down cover fire while the resistance got as many people as they could onto ships and up into the air. There weren't supposed to be collaborators. Her own people weren't supposed to turn against her.

Her eyes swept across the remains of what had been the marketplace. There was blood, bodies, metal everywhere. She twisted to look out into the fields surrounding the city. Everyone was still fighting.

As she watched her friends fighting for the right to be free and knowing there was nothing she could do to help them, her mind slipped back to the previous night. She had been talking over the plans with the Chief when word reached them that the tactical team from Galactica and Pegasus had arrived. They were here to help coordinate the escape.

She had made it to the tent's opening when Cally burst into the tent. It only took one look for Kara to know. Lee was planetside.

She found him on the hillside outside the center of the resistance compound, staring at the lights of the tented city below. They stood side by side in silence for the better part of an hour.

It was Lee who spoke first.

"I couldn't let you do this alone."

Kara didn't take her eyes off the horizon. She didn't want him to know that her eyes were shining with tears. "Thank you."

Lee waited a moment before turning and making his way down the hill. Kara stayed rooted in the same spot for the next two hours.

She was staring down the same hillside right now, only this time there was no calm peace in the air. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. Kara twisted to fire into the wave of Centurions headed her way and managed to take out a few before they hit the first line of defense.

A Leoben model broke through the line, and Kara watched him take aim at her. Her hand wasn't quick enough, and there was a small ache in her stomach. She kept her eyes locked on Leoben and watched as Kat put a bullet in his head.

Her hand moved down to hold the pain in and came away stained red with blood. She looked across the battlefield as the fight pushed past where she was standing. She found him immediately. He was fighting with Boomer. Kara knew without looking twice that this was the one they had both served with on Galactica. Lee was fighting with his bare hands. If it was any other model, he would have shot Boomer in the head and moved on. With this one, he had a grudge.

Kara pressed her hand into the wound on her lower abdomen and started hobbling through the fray. She bit down on her lip to keep the burning inside. She wasn't going to let herself lose focus. Her right arm was practically useless. It had been broken in the first stage of the escape. Yet she still clutched her gun. She was going down fighting.

She was fifty yards away when Boomer got hold of the gun.

Thirty yards away when Boomer knocked Lee to the ground and aimed a kick at his face.

Twenty yards when Boomer aimed at Lee's chest.

Ten yards when Boomer pulled a trigger.

Five yards when she didn't hesitate to put a bullet between her old friend's eyes.

Another shot rang out, and Kara felt the slug enter her arm.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo

When William Adama was young, his mother told him a story of the two humans beloved to the goddess Aphrodite. The goddess of love had spent her whole existence searching for the presence of pure love in hearts of humanity, and she finally found it in Linaris and Misia. They were two warriors of opposing tribes bent on protecting the lands both of their peoples had lived on for centuries. Reality caught up with them when they met in the middle of the battlefield. They hesitated, and both were felled by arrows of their own men. Legend had it that the bodies of Linaris and Misia were carried away from the bloody fields by Aphrodite herself. They were buried side by side in a tomb in the City of the Gods.

He wasn't sure where the memory of that story came from. All he knew was something was off and he wouldn't be able to sleep until it was fixed. It was midnight on Galactica, the only love he still had in life. The memorial service was set for 0900. He was to say goodbye to his children.

The hangar was cleared of all extraneous personnel and ships by order of the President. There were thousands of people expected to attend the service, and it seemed Laura Roslin was the only one able to stay focused at a time like this.

Adama could see the handful of crewman assigned to this graveyard shift filter out of the bay as soon as they saw him approach. He was grateful for the solitude. The coffins sat side by side in the middle of the large, expansive room. William Adama ran his hand over the smooth oak wood that would surround his children. He wasn't sure where these vessels were found, but he was grateful to not have to feel the cool metal of the normal military coffins.

He bowed his head and began to ask the gods for forgiveness. He had failed to protect his children when they needed it the most. The tears were welcome to him as he embraced the guilt that would last him for the rest of his life. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to the empty vessels. He wished he knew if his children could hear him.

"I thought I would find you here."

William Adama straightened up at the sound of his XO's voice, but he didn't move to brush away the tears. "Is something wrong, Saul?"

"No," Tigh said, stepping up to stand beside Adama. "I came down here to tell you that Lieutenant Agathon is looking for you. Helo has been asked by the President to say a few words at the service in the morning, and I think he wanted to get your approval on the passage he's chosen to read."

"I don't care," Adama hissed. "He can say whatever he wants."

"It's the fifth section of the Book of Pythia, the one that speaks of the twin children of Zeus."

"Apollo and Artemis," Adama said, shutting his eyes as the painful memories of his son and daughter laughingly teasing one another flashed through his head. "It's a wise choice. Tell Helo I approve."

The hangar returned to silence. Tigh watched his oldest friend slip back into his shell and wondered if things would ever be the same again. "Is there anything I can do to help, Bill?"

The familiar stony expression was locked on Admiral William Adama's face when he turned to look at his XO. "Do you mean that?"

"Anything you want, I'll get it done."

"I want my children to rest together."

Tigh waited a moment before responding. "I don't understand."

"Talk with Cottle. I want Lee and Kara to rest in the same coffin." The image of his lifeless hands of his children locked together on the cold ground of New Caprica made Adama's heart ache. "That was the way they intended it."

"How do you intend on explaining why there's only one coffin to the crew?"

"They'll understand," Adama insisted. Tigh waited a moment before nodding. He exited the hangar as quietly as he came but left behind a feeling of closure that hadn't been there before.

Adama unbuttoned the top of his dress jacket and wrapped his fingers around the metal chain on his neck. He unclipped the clasp and pulled the two loose dogtags out of his pocket. He held back the tears as he slipped the small pieces of metal onto the worn chain. They gently knocked against the three tags already attached.

462359 and 462753.

Two numbers that represented his heart.

"Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer. Watch over the souls of Lee Adama and Kara Thrace so that together they may rest peacefully in the City of the Gods. Let not even death keep them apart…"

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo

The throbbing from the wound in her arm shot through Kara's body for a few seconds, finally coming to a rest next to the pain in her stomach. She dropped the gun, mostly out of surprise at the rawness of the pain.

Biting her lip, she staggered the last few feet and collapsed beside Lee on the cold ground as an explosion rocked the battlefield. The second wave of the escape had begun. The base stars were destroyed. It wouldn't be long now until the freighters started landing to take the survivors back up into the sky.

Kara wasn't stupid. The pain in her side had slowly faded away. She barely even felt it. Her arm felt numb. She just wanted to lay here and not move, but she didn't. Reality was breaking her heart, and she knew she wasn't just going to give up without fighting for one last thing.

She pulled herself up a few inches and, reaching out, laid her hands on Lee. She could feel the rising of his chest through the soaked material of his double tanks. His eyes were closed, but he was still alive. She ducked down against him as another explosion burst in the air above them.

"Kara?" His voice was faint, too quiet to compete with the sounds of the struggle around them. She watched his eyes slid open. They were already glazing over. Time was running out.

The sounds of the chaos around them faded out. Kara slipped her hand into his and tried to hold back the tears. This was not how this was supposed to happen. They were supposed to make it out of this alive. They were supposed to live to see the thirteenth colony. They were supposed to get the chance to stop fraking lying to one another.

Lee's grip tightened, and he twisted his head to look at her. He moved their joined hands up to brush her tears away.

Kara didn't quite know how to say what she felt. She wanted to deny this was happening, but the sad look in his eyes told her that wasn't possible. They had wasted so much time, and now there was none left.

She wanted to beg him to tell her everything was going to be okay one last time. She wanted him to show her that this was all worth it, all the pain they had caused each other and all the small flashes of love that they had shown each other. She needed to know that death wouldn't change them.

Lee's voice was shaky. "Stop crying, Kara. Everything's going to be okay now."

Kara struggled to speak but the stingy acid taste of blood in the back of her throat made her pause. Trying again, she managed to mouth thank you. It earned her a smile from the man at her side, and somehow she knew it would be his last.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be," he whispered.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him in these last few moments, but she knew that the words would just sound wrong. They had never really said them in life. Why should they say them now in death? Lee knew how much he meant to her, and she was starting to get the idea that she meant just as much to him.

Laying on the battle-torn grass, she kept her eyes on Lee for as long as she could. She could see his life fading away inch by inch, and her own eyes grew heavy. She leaned in to kiss his temple and gave in the urge to rest her head, letting her eyes slid shut. She didn't want to see Lee slip away. The world faded slowly.

Their hands stayed locked together even after their final breaths had gone.


	48. Sing

_Lee heard her silently singing one of her father's songs to herself in the bunkroom on the anniversary of his death and made sure that he kept the area clear for a few hours._

It started with a nagging feeling in the back of Lee's mind that today was different than most days. What with being CAG, though, most days were different than most. There was always some anniversary to remember, be it birthdays of one of his pilots or deaths of some of their loved ones. They ranged the gamut from marriages of over thirty years to that one great fling on Leonis before the attacks.

Like most situations, it wasn't his day to remember, but when he finally figured it out with the help of a few well-chosen words from his father, he knew he should have.

Because this day meant a lot to her, which meant it meant a lot to him, too.

Even though he knew better, Lee spent most of the day rearranging his schedule so that he had the night off. It wasn't because he knew she would need him. She never did. He just knew that he needed to be there. Even if she had no clue, he needed to be waiting in the wings to help.

By the time he came off the early CAP assignment he managed to con out of Duck, he was exhausted. There had been a million and one frak-ups in the twelve hours or so since he woke up, and it seemed like he was the only one who could fix most of them. Lee had never been the guy with all the answers, and it was odd to find himself in that kind of position now.

Lee could feel people staring at him as he stumbled through the corridors, but he ignored it. He was the Commander's son and Galactica's CAG. It seemed like the crew always had some reason to stare at him.

He was determined to just keel over in his bunk and pass out right now so they could just look their fill then.

Even in his rush to get unconscious, he still managed to hear the soft sounds traveling through the corridor. It wasn't anything that would stand out from the normal chaos of the battlestar, but it just so happened that Lee had been listening for this particular sound all day.

Lee heard Kara silently singing one of her father's songs to herself in the bunkroom on the anniversary of his death. He shut his eyes for a moment and remembered back to the small bits Zak had told him all those years ago. This was Kara's song, the one her father had written in honor of her birth.

There was a loud bang from the other end of the corridor, and Lee's eyes flew open. There were several of the senior officers heading this way, and it looked as if they had just finished a rather exciting triad game, the kind where no one left sober.

Lee tried to put on his best CAG face and suggested they all go down to the mess and try to pull themselves together. Grizzly whined that he just wanted to sleep for a millennium, but Pinball quickly nudged him to shut up. Everyone snapped their best drunken salutes at him, and Lee suggested they not show their faces for a quite awhile.

The sound of Kara's singing was still filtering through the cracks of the hatch, and Lee sighed. He let his back hit the wall and then slid to the floor. The least he could do for Kara right now was keep the room clear for a few hours so she could remember her father properly. He leaned his head back against the wall and started wondering if you could sleep with both your eyes open and all your senses still going at full blast.

Lee wasn't sure how much time had passed when he heard the hatch slowly creak open. He looked up to see Kara standing over him. She was wearing his hooded sweatshirt from Atlantia. The hood was pulled up to shadow her face. "That's my sweatshirt."

"I know." Kara shuffled back and forth for a second, and Lee realized she had been crying. "I needed it."

Lee gave her a small nod as he got to his feet. They stood in silence for a moment, and Lee was suddenly very thankful that it was the middle of a shift. The corridor was deserted.

"What are you doing out here?"

Lee knew he should have expected that question, but it still took him by surprise. He cursed himself for not thinking up an answer. "I was-"

Kara butted in before he could start rambling his way to an excuse. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

Lee crossed his arms in front of his chest. Gods, this was uncomfortable. "I was giving you a little time to yourself. I figured you needed it."

Kara bit her lip, and Lee wondered if she was going to start crying right here in the middle of the corridor. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Someone Lee had never seen before finally walked down the corridor. They must have appeared rather intimidating because the kid never looked their way.

"I…" Kara's voice seemed to cut off abruptly, and Lee lifted his eyes to take a look at her. She was definitely crying. "I called down to the CIC. They said you weren't on shift."

"I traded my CIC shift with Munroe so that I could have the late CAP which I switched for Duck's early CAP."

"Oh."

Lee felt his heart pull as Kara used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes and nose. It was the movement of a little child, and somehow he found that endearing. "Did you need something?"

Kara's body tensed immediately. "What?"

"You called down to the CIC for me. Did you need something?"

Lee watched her eyes fall down to her hands as she mumbled, "I didn't want to be alone."

"Okay," Lee whispered. He reached out and tugged on the ties of the hood. The hood tightened around her face, and Kara rewarded him with an annoyed look. "Let's go back into the bunkroom."

Kara gave a small nod and turned around. Lee felt himself smile at how adorable she looked with his sweatshirt all tight around her face, running shorts wrinkly from over use, bare feet on the cold metal grating. If he didn't know her heart was aching right now, he'd let himself be selfish and focus on how she looked even more.

Lee slid the hatch quietly shut and leaned down to grab the metal bar laying on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm dogging the hatch. You don't want to be alone right now, but I'm pretty sure you don't want a crowd either."

Kara gave a small nod, and Lee slid the bar into the handle of the hatch. He tested it a few times. It would hold. He turned to find Kara sitting on his bunk, staring at him. "You look tired," she observed.

"Same could be said for you." Lee started pulling his flight suit off as he moved closer to his locker. It ended up in a ball on the floor, too dirty to even think of shoving into that small confined space in front of him. He felt Kara's eyes on him as he pulled off his sweat soaked tanks and shorts so he rushed to slid on a clean pair of boxers.

It wasn't that he felt strange being naked in front of her. Gods know he had been a thousand times before. This time felt different, though. It could have something to do with Kara being so vulnerable, but he just didn't feel comfortable. Kara had a bad habit of doing impulsively stupid things when she was upset, and Lee's goal today was to be a friend, not destroy their friendship.

Sighing, Lee looked at his reflection in the locker mirror. Kara was right. He looked exhausted right now.

He slammed the locker shut as quietly as he could. Kara was pretty jumpy right now, and she was liable to kick him out at the first wrong move.

When he got close to his bunk, Kara pushed the hood away from her face and then silently slid back against the far wall of his bunk. He laid down on the hard mattress. It was only a few seconds before he lifted his arm and she moved close to his side.

Her tears felt warm against his bare chest.

Lee moved his hand to stroke her hair lightly and let out a deep breath. Sometime he thought a vulnerable Kara was the only sight he couldn't take seeing. It was wrong on so many levels, and he just wanted to figure out a way to keep it from ever happening.

Kara's arm tightened around his waist, and he could feel her sobbing. Soft words of comfort fell from his lips. He didn't really think about what he was saying, and Kara didn't seem to mind. Her crying settled down after a few minutes.

Lee let his eyes drift up to the bottom of the bunk above him and sighed again. He hated that he couldn't fix this for her.

"I miss him, Lee."

"I know, Kara" he whispered, tightening his arms around her. "I know."


	49. Wings

_Lee was the one to pin her wings back on when Kara returned to the Fleet, and he couldn't help but recognize her smile as their own secret signal saying they were finally home._

Lee was the one to pin her wings back on when Kara returned to the Fleet, and he couldn't help but recognize her smile as their own secret signal saying they were finally home.

There had been the initial burst of seeing each other, alive and well, again. Lee would never forget how that one ended. He had told her he loved her, and she teased him. Granted, she probably didn't realize what he was _actually_ saying.

It was on the surface of Kobol when Lee was still trying to figure out if he should correct Kara's assumption that his father approached him. William Adama explained his part in why Kara returned to Caprica. He explained that Lee might have had the wrong idea about Kara's reasons for leaving them behind.

It was Lee's suggestion that his father get a moment alone with Kara as soon as they returned to Galactica. It was Adama's suggestion that Lee stop acting like he didn't want to be a part of that moment.

It was during a particularly quiet moment of their family dinner when Kara was busy looking over the reports on what happened to his father that Adama slid the small box into his son's hand. Lee's eyes went wide, but before he could say anything, his father was standing up and excusing himself to handle some business down in the CIC.

Kara barely noticed the shift. She was too engrossed in the story of how the Old Man had been shot by one of their own. Lee sat back and watched her. He had missed this the most.

After a few moments, Kara looked up at him. A smile played at the edge of her lips, and he bit his lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. The moment faded, though, when she looked to his father's chair and noticed it empty.

She was flinging questions at him left and right when he moved around the table to stand at her side. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. Laying a finger on her lips to quiet her, he brought out the box.

The wings ended up pinned a little crooked on her, but Lee figured there was something poetically right about that. "This is my official apology."

"For what?" Kara said, the hint of a smirk already threatening to come out. "There's just so many things, Captain."

Lee winced. He guessed he deserved that. "I'm sorry for being a complete frakhead when I should have been someone you could talk to. My father told me about what pushed you to go to Caprica. I wish I had known."

"Wishes are only regrets waiting to happen," Kara replied.

Lee offered her his hand and, after a second, she slid her hand into his. "I'm glad you're back. I was scared I'd have to keep these frakers in shape all by myself."

"Come on, Lee. I wouldn't do that to you." Her words were meant to be teasing, but somehow they came out half serious, half sad.

Lee waited until she looked up at him to speak. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't ever do that to me. Don't ever make me think that I have to do this without you because I need you to keep me in check. I need you to remind me that I can't be the pilots' friend if I want them to stay alive. I need you to tell me when I'm being too straight laced and when I should just shut up and follow my gut. I need you to come up with those stupid plans that almost get me killed but also get me the recognition we both know I desperately deserve." That one caused Kara to crack a smile. "Most of all, I just need you to be there to remind me why I'm fighting."

"I'm not going anywhere," Kara whispered, tightening her hand in his. "Not now. Not ever."

Lee watched her for a few minutes before his eyes fell to the clock. "We should be going. I think you're already back on the roster for the morning."

Kara nodded. Together she and Lee left the Old Man's office and walked down the corridor, side by side. "It's good to be home," she said with a sigh.


	50. Torn

_Lee watched Kara climb the tree on Kobol to see if there were Cylons ahead and silently wondered when tomboys became his type._

Lee watched Kara climb the tree on Kobol to see if there were Cylons ahead and silently wondered when tomboys became his type.

It was odd. When she was Zak's girl, he had barely spent a moment's free time thinking about her although he wasn't completely oblivious. He saw the way men tended to take second glances when Kara past them by. Hell, he had been known to take a second glance or two himself. Still it wasn't some all burning passion thing where he cursed his brother for finding Kara first.

It was simple. Kara was an attractive woman, but she was his baby brother's attractive woman.

"I don't see anything." Kara's voice echoed through the forest, and Lee winced. If the Cylons didn't know their position, they did now. When had Kara lost her ability to be tactful?

"Then get your ass down here and let's move," Lee hissed up at her.

He watched Kara hop the last few feet to the ground. She let out a deep sigh, blowing the stray pieces of hair out of her eyes, and Lee felt a spike of desire in the pit of his stomach. Gods, she had mud covering over half her body and he still found her sexy. When the frak had this happened?

A little voice in the back of his head reminded him that this wasn't a new feeling. Since the day the Cylons left him stranded with Galactica, he had been feeling small pangs of attraction to Kara. They only got worse with time.

Lee handed Kara her gun, and she gave him a hesitant smile. Their relationship was still slightly tarnished from the way they had left things before she jumped to Caprica, but it seems they were both willing to try to fix that. "So, what do you think, Lieutenant?"

"I think we keep moving until we find a taller tree for me to scale."

Lee shook his head and motioned to Zarek's men to start walking. He gave the President a small smile and nod, which she returned before following the rest of the group.

He let Kara drift a few feet in front of him but made sure he kept close enough so that he could still hear her swearing. Swearing meant everything was okay. Swearing meant she was okay.

They made it about a mile through the woods before Lee found himself fighting the urge to tug on her ponytail. It had been nagging at him since the second she stepped off that Heavy Raider.

It was odd how being around Kara turned him into a five-year-old.

No woman had ever had that effect on him. Then again, no woman he loved had ever acted like Kara did.

He had always prided himself on loving women who were mature, who knew where they were headed in life and learned how to get there in a calm and quiet manner. They were the woman people expected to see on the arm of Commander William Adama's son. Pretty, graceful, demure… perfect.

They didn't go around screaming frak and climbing trees.

And yet Lee found himself wanting that. He wanted a woman who said the inappropriate thing at the appropriate time. He wanted someone who wasn't afraid to fight dirty if they had to and even if they didn't. He wanted a woman who made mistakes and refused to take the blame in public, a woman who saved the day and wouldn't let you forget it for years. He wanted to laugh at the wrong times and smile when he should be crying.

He had met plenty of women who filled most of those requirement, but it was only Kara who did that one last thing. It was only Kara who made him happy that he had survived the Cylons so far.

Lee wished he could blame it on the direness of the situation, but he had a feeling this would be happening even if the Cylons had left well enough alone. He had been thinking about Kara a lot in the past year or so, long before he got his orders to attend the decommissioning.

He spent many nights the past few months trying to figure out where this pull towards Kara had come from. The only thing he could come up with was that it had always been there. He had just been better at ignoring it before.

Kara paused in her steps and turned back to look at him. Lee hated the look of uncertainty he saw in her eyes. "Is something the matter, Lieutenant?" She shook her head and was about to step forward when Lee reached out to grab her arm. "Kara?"

"Did you mean it when you said you would listen?"

Lee nodded. It was one of the few things he had ever meant with all his heart. Because as much as his desire for Kara was growing, he found himself wanting to be there for her as a friend even more.

"I…" Kara bit her lip and shifted her eyes down to the ground. "I'd like to talk about what happened on Caprica with someone before I have to give an official report. I want to be sure I can do it without… without…"

Lee tightened his grip on her arm. "Once we've found the Tomb and go home," he promised. Kara nodded, and Lee could see the beginnings of hope in her eyes. "I mean, you and I are probably going to be given new bunks right in the middle of hack so we'll have plenty of time."

Kara let out a small laugh and started walking. "A very true point you have there, Lee."

"But you like hack," Lee finished. "And so I guess I'll learn to like it to."

"It's better when you have company," she agreed. "And Lee? The next tree is yours to climb. You still need to get that stick out of your ass, and climbing will help."

Lee shook his head and let himself fall back to his usual spot a few feet behind her. He had no idea when loud-mouthed pains in the ass became his type either, but there she was.


	51. Drink 2

_Helo was the one who pried the bottle of ambrosia from her hand and tucked the covers securely around her body the night after Kat took out Scar._

Helo was the one who pried the bottle of ambrosia from her hand and tucked the covers securely around her body the night after Kat took out Scar. Lee only knew this because he saw it with his own eyes.

They had all had a rough time with this Scar business while the ore was being mined. Lee should know. He was the CAG which made it his job to hold the briefing announcing the loss, to delegate the job of cleaning out the locker, to sign the incident report from the other pilots, to place the metal wings on the memorial wall the pilots had created a few months back when it became obvious that most of them weren't going to leave behind bodies for a proper funeral.

Kara had it the worst, though. Lee figured he might be one of the few people who realized that. Ever since she came back from Caprica, there had been something not quite right about her. This thing with Scar seemed to aggravate that. This one little Raider got under her skin, and Lee knew from experience when one problem got under her skin, the rest of them seemed to tumble out, too.

He didn't know why, but this time her problems seemed to include him.

At least he thought they did. He could never be sure.

He figured something had happened in that pilot's break room. He knew _for certain_ that something had happened in their shared bunkroom. What that was he figured he'd never know.

He could still taste her on his lips. Not the frenzied kisses that got them to that point in the first place, but that singular kiss of sadness when she left him so dazed, his heart on his figurative sleeve.

Then there was that little speech she gave to the pilots when they were celebrating Kat's victory, the one that brought this all back to reality. She had faltered at the end, and Lee had followed his instincts and kept her from having to admit this was affecting her. That underneath all the booze and bravado, she was hurting.

When the toast was over, Lee had to fight the urge to march over to Kat and rip that damn top gun mug right out of her hands because that kind of honor belonged to a person who could fight like hell but still understand the injustice of it all.

Lee had shared many looks with others that night while they were all celebrating the victory which told him that stupid mug didn't mean a thing. Every single one of the veterans understood what Starbuck had done for Kat. She practically shoved the kill down her throat.

He stayed only as long as he had to and wasn't surprised when most of the older pilots followed him. It was written on their faces. Anyone who had been around for long enough knew that though victory was sweet, it always seemed to slip through their fingers. By the morning, they would be fighting for their lives again.

So here he was, lying in his bunk, wishing he could shut his mind off for just a few seconds so he could get some sleep. That was how he found himself watching Helo tuck his lead pilot into her bunk like she was a lost, little child. A part of him knew that was exactly what she was, but that was the part he couldn't listen to. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

Lee watched Helo walk out of the bunkroom. The transfer hadn't come through to get Agathon switched to the senior officers' quarters so he had been bunking with the newest class of nuggets. He said he didn't mind, that the naked optimism was refreshing.

Not really knowing the why, Lee slid out of his bunk and quietly slipped into the corridor. "Helo, wait up."

Helo didn't jump at the sound of someone's voice calling out to him. He just paused and then slowly turned to face Lee. If Lee didn't know better, he'd think Helo was expecting to be flagged down.

When Lee was actually standing face to face with the Raptor ECO, he found himself at a loss for words.

"Is there something you needed, sir?" Helo asked, his voice patient as always.

"Yeah, I wanted to thank you."

Helo just stood his ground and waited for Lee to continue.

"For taking care of Kara tonight. She's… um… well she… I appreciate it." Lee felt himself shrinking back a step as Helo continued to stare at him. He suddenly understood that the reasons why he had been avoiding this man had nothing to do with the fact that he was in love with a toaster. Helo had a way of looking at you that made you feel like every single secret you had was staring you in the eye.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Frak, Helo. I'm standing in the middle of the corridor in just my sweats after watching you tuck my very fraked-up lead pilot into bed like a little child. I don't think we need formalities."

"Understood." Helo stared at him a moment before narrowing his eyes. "I was just wondering, if you appreciate what I did for Starbuck a few minutes ago, if you understand so well that she needs someone to look after her right now, why aren't you doing it?"

Lee felt his normal defensive answer come to the tip of his tongue, but for some reason, this time, it stayed there. "It's complicated."

"I'm an expert in complicated, Apollo, in case you haven't noticed."

"I don't know where to begin."

"Fine. What does Kara mean to you? I mean, I've been here for a few months now, and I can't seem to get a handle on you two. One minute, Kara's singing your praises over a game of a triad and the next she's beating the crap out of me in the gym because you said something to hurt her. I can't put those two facets together."

"That's exactly what she is to me," Lee replied.

"I need more than that, Apollo."

He almost told Helo to call him Lee but caught himself when he realized that he would probably have to start calling Helo Karl. Even _thinking_ about doing that felt like he was encroaching on Kara's territory.

A small draft filled the corridor, and Lee suddenly remembered that he had been two steps away from getting in his usual five hours. "Can we take this out of the corridor?"

Helo nodded and gestured to the storage locker across the hall. Once they were both inside, he went back to staring expectantly at his superior officer.

"Kara Thrace is like a cubit. Two sides that are so drastically different but together they make something worthwhile. In short, that's what she is to me. She's a constant mess of fire and ice that keeps shifting back and forth until you're not sure which one you're looking at. If she's angry, she will rip into you like no other, but then two seconds later she's begging you to forgive her. She's this crazy ball of vulnerability and strength. She's Kara, and she's Starbuck."

Lee paused for a second, but when Helo didn't say a word, he felt the words start tumbling out again. "She's absolutely, positively, one hundred percent out of her mind." Lee smirked when he saw Helo nodding in agreement. "It's kind of nice, though."

"Yeah, it is."

"Kara is about as unpredictable as you can get. That's what saves her ass most of the time, but it's also what gets her into trouble in the first place. I hate that if you point it out to her, she's liable to deck you, but if you don't tell her, then she's liable to punch you in the gut. I don't know. This all made sense when it was just in my head."

Helo shrugged his shoulders, and Lee wasn't sure if that meant he thought it made sense or he was confused as hell. Lee knew he could have taken it as a shrug of dismissal, a reprieve from this ridiculous bearing of his soul. He should just turn around and walk out of her before he said something that he couldn't talk his way out of later. "Talking about this is so damn frustrating. _She's_ so damn frustrating."

"If she frustrates you, then why do you care so much?"

Lee rubbed his face with a sigh and felt the weight of the words about to come from his mouth. They were already pressing down on him.

"You don't know, do you?"

Lee let out a laugh. It sounded hollow. "I wish that I didn't know."

Helo seemed to sense what was to come and chose to remain silent.

"Even at her worst, it really isn't that bad. Because she's real, you know?" Lee nodded to himself. This part sounded right. "She's… I don't know. I guess she's everything that I've been missing and nothing that I thought I deserved."

Lee could feel Helo's eyes on him and knew that in some capacity he was being judged for what he had just said. After a few minutes, Helo gave a small nod. "You're welcome."

Lee's brow furrowed in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"You thanked me for taking care of Starbuck."

Lee licked his lips and nodded. He did thank Helo before.

"You're welcome," Helo said one last time. He gave Lee a sharp nod and then pushed past him out into the corridor.

Lee was left standing alone in the equipment locker, wondering how he was ever going to get to sleep after what had just happened.


	52. Journey

_Kara giggled like a little girl as Lee chased her down the corridor, and she knew that no matter where the journey had taken her in the past and despite the places she had yet to travel, she had always known the destination._

Kara giggled like a little girl as Lee chased her down the corridor, and she knew that no matter where the journey had taken her in the past and despite the places she had yet to travel, she had always known the destination.

She had always secretly been the kind of girl who pictured her possible future at the drop of a hat. She would meet a person and wonder if fifty years down the line she would still know them. She would find a restaurant she loved and wonder if this was the place she would celebrate her hundredth birthday.

It was both sentimental and silly, but at her heart, beneath all the pain, that's the kind of person she was.

She figured it said something that the day she ran into Lee Adama in the Academy mess, her first thought was a question. Is this the man I'm supposed to marry? Some of the students in her year were teasing a freshmen, and Lee came to his rescue. The resulting confrontation ended with everyone present heading down to the flight simulators to watch Lee take out the bullies one by one in a dogfight.

Kara watched the numbers keep lighting up on his screen as he won over and over again. She had heard the name Adama over and over again from all her friends in the flight program, but she hadn't realized they _weren't_ exaggerating. This guy was fraking talented.

Not to mention good-looking.

Kara winced at that damn little voice in the back of her head. It always seemed to steer her down the wrong road. This particular road involved her, Lee Adama, a twenty-four hour pass from Academy, and a bed with satin sheets. It didn't help that when Lee stepped out of the simulator victorious, his eyes locked with hers, and he gave her a smile that made her knees go weak.

Two weeks later, she hurt her knee in the pyramid game against the Academy of Leonis team. Her mind turned to flying the second she recovered. She knew that a change was in order.

She flew against Lee only a few times during their days at Academy. Kara had gotten a late start so that put her and Lee in different years. The few times they did fly together was like nothing she had ever experienced. She often wondered if he felt the same, but for once in her life, she was too afraid to ask.

The Academy commonly paired up graduating cadets with the younger students taking their flight test, and somehow it was no surprise to Kara that when she walked into the sim room that morning, Lee was waiting for her. Her flight instructor was pretty much a bastard so he made sure to remind her with all the red marks on her discipline record she had one real chance to pass this. Kara's gaze had shifted to Lee, and she felt her stomach clench when she realized he heard.

Lee pushed her to fly the hardest she had ever flown that day. He didn't let up. He didn't let her give up.

And for that, she fell in love with him just a little bit.

Even all the way back then, she knew things would be different with this particular man.

Then Zak Adama showed up and everything changed.

She didn't meet Zak until she was ingrained in the life of an Academy flight instructor. He was a member of her fourth round of students, and she didn't put two and two together until that first day of class. She read his name from the roster and looked up to see a student with a rather solid build and unassuming smirk answer. He looked nothing like Lee, and yet she knew.

Anyone who was familiar with her would think in those few seconds of recognition she might start wondering if Zak would become a part of her life, if he was supposed to be the main character in a funny story about how I met your father when he was a student and I was an instructor.

Sure, that thought came to her mind. Only it was later that night when she was eating dinner at her kitchen counter.

In the moment, she thought of Lee and wondered if maybe this was the moment where he came back into her life. Maybe this was supposed to be the beginnings of a story about how your uncle got to be friends with his flight instructor and she turned out to be head over heels in love with his brother, your father.

When Zak asked her out a few weeks later, she said yes against her better judgment. To this day, Kara still had no clue if she said yes for her sake or for the prospect of seeing Lee again.

Zak did the impossible, though. He pushed all those thoughts of possible futures with other men right out of her head. He was funny and cute and really respectful. When Kara was out with him, she tended to forget all those nasty things she had learned growing up about how she would never be good enough. Her thoughts seemed to settle on the idea that this was the man she was meant to love.

She thought she was fine. She thought whatever that strange something she felt the few times she spoke to Zak's brother was just a fluke, a small moment of tension that she exaggerated up to some huge, life-altering event in her life.

Then Lee came to visit Zak and everything changed.

He took one look at Kara, and there was that damned smile again. Kara stood back and listened to Lee tell the story about this cocky, upstart student who almost gave him a run for his money on her flight qualification test.

Kara would always feel proud that her thoughts never turned too far in those years that she had both Lee and Zak in her life. Whenever she imagined walking down the aisle, it was always Zak at the end.

Though if she was being truthful, occasionally she had a hard time deciding if he was the person she was walking towards. A few times she could have sworn he was the best man.

Still, she was determined to live her life with Zak for as long as she could. He was good for her in ways she had never even imagined.

Her thoughts on Lee made a subtle shift towards friendship, both out of desire and necessity. She started imagining them all grey and old, bickering over which of the grandchildren had followed the example of their youth and tried to build a Viper out of the primary school's new lawn mower. She could imagine being close to Lee's wife, whomever that might be, but being even closer to her brother-in-law. They would find time to have lunch together several times a week, and afterwards she would win all the money from his military pension in triad.

Then Zak died and everything changed.

The weeks following the funeral surpassed the pain of all those years she had lived with her mother. Zak had been her rock in life. She was lost without him.

She was knee-deep in a haze of ambrosia when Lee took it upon himself to break down the door to her apartment in Delphi. Later he would claim he had been pounding on the door for well over twenty minutes. That was the day that Kara learned about his knight in shining armor complex. Well, she figured it out _later_ when she was sober enough to remember.

Lee stayed with her as she bottomed out. He held her hand when she decided she wanted to be sober and then went through withdrawal. He wiped her sweat when she woke up in the middle of the night, sick to her stomach. He let her rattle on and on about how much she loved Zak and not once did he point out that Zak meant something to him to. He wouldn't listen to Kara when she tried to tell him she was responsible.

Even through the sickness and the guilt, Kara's thoughts were running wild. When she was hanging in that small limbo between sleep and wake, she would find herself imagining Lee taking care of her for the rest of their lives. They were good together. Anyone could see that. He might consider it settling, but she would do her damnedest to make him happy. She owed it to Zak to watch over his older brother. Zak had always said Lee took life too seriously.

Then William Adama offered her a future on Galactica and everything changed.

She didn't see Lee for well over two years, but not once did she wonder if that was it for them. She knew she would run into him at some point. Her mind dreamed up a million different scenarios, ranging from her accidentally punching him in a bar to hunting down where he was and surprising him before she could lose her nerve.

For some reason, each one of these chance meetings in her mind ended in a kiss, and that was the real reason why none of them ever happened in real life. The guilt was too great.

Kara knew she would always love Zak. He would always be a part of her heart, but she also knew she would move on eventually. She was still young and even if she didn't get over the loss of her fiance for a decade, that would still leave her in her thirties. The world expected her to find a new love someday, but she had a feeling that no one would understand if that new love was the brother of the man she once loved and lost.

It was just a mere glimmer of a thought that she entertained now, but it still got to her. She knew she was betraying Zak in some way.

That was why every time Lee wrote her she threw the letters away without reading them.

She had decided to cut him out of her life before she did something really stupid. So no more thoughts about futures which involve him in any shape or fashion.

She had just managed to put all her concentration on giving Galactica a proper send-off when she was told the Old Man's son was attending the decommissioning. For a brief second, she imagined Zak standing in front of her, telling her the past two years had just been a huge mistake. Then reality came. The man in front of her turned into Lee. He was smiling at her and insisting that the past two years had been a huge mistake.

Then he showed up on the other side of the brig cell bars, and she realized she was wrong in so many ways. Again, everything changed.

He almost died out there in the final battle at Ragnor. She knew that she would hear his voice screaming at her to leave him behind for the rest of her life if she didn't pull him back. Staring through the beaten glass of the cockpit window, her mind wandered for a few seconds. She could see her life unfolding, a life that Lee wasn't a part of.

She hadn't realized how accustomed she had become to the prospect of having Lee in her life until she saw that possibility being ripped away.

It was these quick flashes of memories fading away that tore at her.

She would stand tall next to the Old Man at the memorial with the guilt of knowing she had killed both of his sons. The CAG job would be thrust upon her, and the weight would kill every last bit of who she was. She didn't want that kind of burden, but she would take it on knowing that she deserved it.

Maybe they would find refuge from the Cylons. Maybe they would run out of fuel and just fade away. Maybe she would sit back and watch the people around her be killed one by one.

Thinking about all those days ahead of her, she knew that it was going to be a long and hard process, coming up with a reason to survive.

It was in that moment Kara knew she needed Lee. She needed him to be there for the simple fact that he understood her. He had seen her at her worst and challenged her at her best. Their relationship was anything but perfect and millions of miles away from conventional, but he was in her blood. From the very first time he looked at her and gave her that grin that set her stomach on edge, she knew that she wanted to a part of his life and somehow, someway, he wanted to be a part of hers. Their lives were entwined by the gods themselves. Everything that had happened up to this point was evidence of that.

So she saved him. She rammed her Viper into his, joining their two ships, and she flew them home. He screamed at her for disobeying his order, his voice heavy with the knowledge that he had almost died. Kara had waited until they turned into a deserted corridor. Only when they were alone did she let herself latch onto Lee so tightly she could feel his heart beating against her.

Then she felt Lee's arms come around her, and she knew everything had changed.

The road was never easy, and her idea of where she and Lee were heading was constantly shifting. However, somewhere along the way, she came to the realization that her first real encounter with Lee had been right. During that flight qualification, she found herself falling a little bit in love with him, and over the years, that little bit grew to the point that she could no longer measure it.

Kara's hand tightened around the papers in her hand as she cut the corner into the briefing room. She could not believe Lee was working on the freight schedules when they should be out celebrating. They found Scorpio in the skies today. That left them with only two more constellations to locate, and it was only getting easier. She had gone down to his office intent on sharing a glass of the Chief's brew with him. Upon seeing him with that stick still shoved up his ass, she snatched the schedules and started running.

She could hear Lee's pounding feet behind her as she cut a line through the briefing room and out into the corridor on the other side. He was gaining on her, but she had expected that. They had been running partners for years now. She knew just how good he was at keeping the pace.

They were just outside the senior officers' quarters when she felt the tips of his fingers on her back. Reacting on instinct, she chucked the papers at him and was surprised when he stepped right over them and kept up with the chase.

He caught her waist, and Kara felt herself being pushed right into a bunk. She laid on the bunk, eyes locked with Lee's as they both struggled to regain their breath after that rather long sprint, and she couldn't help but smile.

Her thoughts drifted to the day she would finally get the courage to tell Lee how long she have loved him. Her mind played out their future together, and if it was possible, the smile on her face grew.

"Why the frak are you smiling, Kara?"

The sound of Lee's voice in her ear made her shiver, and she pulled him down to lay next to her. "I was just thinking about something."

"You? Thinking?"

Kara smacked his chest. "Yes. Me. Thinking."

"About what?"

"Spending the rest of my life with you."

Lee's eyebrows shot up, but to his credit, he did manage to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. "And that's something you're looking forward to?"

"For some time now."

Lee turned his head to look at her, and Kara suddenly felt like she did that day back in Academy when their eyes locked and he smiled.

Then he leaned in and kissed her.

And not one thing changed.


	53. Unknown

_Lee silently sat down beside Kara in the empty observation desk chairs, his shoulder brushing against hers, and sighed, "Sometimes it's the unknown that hurts so much."_

Lee silently sat down beside Kara in the empty observation desk chairs, his shoulder brushing against hers, and sighed, "Sometimes it's the unknown that hurts so much."

She made a faint noise of agreement but didn't turn to look at him.

"Are you worried about the mission? Because you'll do fine. It's only a series of jumps, and yeah, it's all depending on the brains of a hijacked Cylon, but all in all, you've come up with crazier plans."

This time, Lee earned himself a small laugh. He relaxed a little against the back of his chair. "How long do you have?"

"About an hour and then I need to be down in the hangar bay."

"I'm sorry you couldn't launch from Galactica."

"It doesn't matter."

"I know you would have liked to."

"The Beast's tubes are the same as the Bucket's. Feel great coming out, but a bitch coming in."

Lee chuckled. She was right. Hands-on landings were only fun for the pilots who were the best of the best. Good thing that category included the two of them. "So are you going to explain to me why you're sitting in a dark observation deck instead of double checking every single detail of your mission?"

"I needed the quiet." Lee waited a moment for her to continue. "I'm scared."

"I'm sure he's alive, Kara." Lee hoped his voice was reassuring enough to hide the lie. It had been months since Kara left Samuel Anders behind. The odds were stacked against them.

"Yeah."

Lee knew immediately that Kara hadn't bought one iota of his bullshit. She was too perceptive for her own good. "If he's alive, you'll find him."

Kara nodded and laid her head on Lee's shoulder. They relaxed together in silence.

Lee let the moment stretch on for as long as he could, but after a while, he had to pull away. "I hate to be the adult here and break up the fun, but I have a large number of Raptors about to launch from my ship in a little over thirty minutes."

"Time to command," Kara commented as Lee got to his feet.

"Do you want to come with me?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm just going to stay here a few more minutes and then I have a few things to do myself."

Lee watched her for a moment, wondering if maybe he should just tell his XO to finish up the last-minute detail checks.

"I'm fine," Kara whispered, still looking out at the stars in front of her. "You don't have to worry about me."

Lee leaned in to give the top of her head a kiss. "But I like to."

Kara gave him one last smile, and then he was gone. She let herself relax back into the chair and focused on the stars. She would in the middle of that in less than an hour.

Her knees started shaking after a few minutes, and Kara wondered if maybe she should go find Lee. She had been calm for the first time in a long while when he was sitting next to her.

No, she decided, she had to be strong here. She couldn't always lean on Lee for support. Especially when he didn't even know the real reason he was needed.

She had told him she was scared, and he had rightfully inferred she was scared of finding Anders had died on Caprica while she was gone. He was wrong, though. She was more scared of finding Anders than she was of not finding him.

Finding him meant she had to face all this build-up she had been constructed over the past few months. She had gotten so hung up on the ex-pyramid player that she wasn't sure what part of that was reality. She had known him for a few weeks at most, and yet she was acting like he was the love of her life.

He wasn't the love of her life. She had already had a love of her life and was pretty sure the gods didn't give you more than one.

Yet Anders had made her happy for those two weeks. He had made it easier for her to be on her old home planet with no real plan as to how she was getting home. She was pretty sure he had felt the same about her, but she couldn't know for sure. Things had happened so fast while she was with him and so slow when she was not.

Kara heard her name being paged over the ship's comms and knew it was Lee wanting to speak with her. The fraker knew better than to leave her alone when she was this freaked out.

Suddenly, Kara found herself wondering how Anders could possibly fit into this life. They hadn't had much time to talk about their personal lives when she was at Delphi. She had barely touched on who the Adama men were to her. Would he be able to keep up with Lee or would Lee just cut him down with a few well-placed words? Would the Old Man be willing to accept Sam as a replacement for his youngest son? How would Anders adapt to seeing the pilot side of her?

A second page cut into her thoughts. This time it was urgent.

"Keep your pants on, Lee," she hissed, pulling herself to her feet. She took a few deep breaths shoving her concerns to the side. She was just going to have to wait and see.

As a third page filled the corridor, Kara had to smile despite her irritation. At least some things weren't going to change when she brought Anders home. Lee was still going to be the most annoyingly lovely man she had ever met.


	54. History

_Sometimes, Lee wondered if it would be wrong for him to demand that someone tell him what exactly was this history he kept hearing people whisper about when he and Kara started their flirty bickering._

Sometimes, Lee wondered if it would be wrong for him to demand that someone tell him what exactly was this history he kept hearing people whisper about when he and Kara started their flirty bickering. They were bickering right now, and he most definitely was not turned on. In fact, he was doing all he could not to smack her in the mouth.

He meant to tell her exactly that, but for some reason, different words came out of his mouth. "Did you get your pass to Cloud Nine approved for tomorrow?"

"What?" Kara exclaimed. They were just arguing about the inefficiency of the newest class of nuggets and now he wanted to talk about leave passes.

"You mentioned yesterday that you had the day of and were going to see if you could get a ride over to Cloud Nine."

"Yeah," Kara said, narrowing her eyes. "I got it approved. Why?" She felt her heart freeze as Lee got that familiar look in his eyes and stepped closer to her. "Lee…"

"I thought that maybe you and I could hash out what exactly it is that the rest of the crew sees when we're together. They think we're fraking, you know."

"Really?" Kara whispered, her eyes already lighting up with mischief. "I wonder what could give them that idea?"

Lee bit his lip and leaned in. "Well, we end up standing pretty close when we get to fighting."

Kara turned to smirk at him. "I guess we do."

"I make you laugh pretty damn loud."

"Especially when people are trying to sleep in the bunkroom."

"It's inappropriate," Lee agreed.

"What else?" Kara asked, giving him her best innocent look. People were starting to glance their way, although they were trying to hide their curiosity.

"Well, I guess you and I tend to stare at each other a lot."

"Why would you say that?"

"I heard Kat using the phrase 'eye fraking' when she was talking about us last week."

"Eye fraking?" Kara gave a small nod. "I'm proud. That's rather clever."

"I know."

Kara let out a soft laugh. "You do realize we're staring right now?"

"And you're laughing," Lee pointed out.

Kara rested her hands on his chest. "And you are standing awfully close."

"I am."

Kara narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you asking me on a date, Lee Adama?"

"Are you saying yes?"

Kara turned her chin up, brushing her lips lightly across his, before stepping back. "I'll see you tomorrow evening, Captain."

And that was how he got here to this moment, sitting in some fancy restaurant he didn't even know was on Cloud Nine with his best friend and lead pilot who happened to be wearing the brightest smile on her face to match the sexiest dress ever made on her body.

Lee leaned across the table and was pleased when Kara moved in, too. "Do you want to get out of here?" Kara raised an eyebrow, and Lee felt himself blushing. "Not like that, Kara."

"Than like what, Lee?" she said teasingly.

"There's a pub down on the second level that a few of the new nuggets were raving about. They're supposed to have the best turkey sandwich in the Fleet."

A smile slid across Kara's face. "Beer and sandwiches?"

"You love beer and sandwiches," Lee pointed out.

"Lee, we're pretty dressed up."

"Don't worry. I won't let any drunken fools take advantage of how beautiful you look."

Kara felt a blush come across her cheeks, and Lee vowed to tell her that more often. She snapped out of it rather quickly, though, the embarrassment filtering away to her usual sarcastic grin. "And I'll do the same for you."

Lee got to his feet and offered Kara his hand. She took it and together they walked out of the restaurant that was not _them _in a million and a half ways.

The bar was noisy but not too crowded. Lee watched Kara relax almost immediately. This had been the right choice. He settled her in to a table out of the main path of traffic and went to the bar to grab a few pints.

"I ordered food," Kara said as he settled into the booth next to her. She took a glass out of his hand and sipped. "You got my favorite!"

"As if I would think to get anything else," Lee chided. Kara smiled at him and took another drink.

Lee was taking his own taste of the pints when he felt her foot brush up his leg. His eyes went wide, and for two seconds he was scared stiff. That is, until she started laughing. "The look on your face," she gasped between breaths. "Oh gods, Lee. I was just taking off my shoes and you would think I was propositioning you to take off all your clothes so I could frak you on the table."

Lee glared at Kara. "You know I have issues, Kara."

"Ellen Tigh issues," she added and started into another fit of giggles.

Her laughter didn't stop until the waitress had brought over their sandwiches, and even then, she ended up chuckling every few minutes. Other than the incredibly annoying yet pleasing sound of her mocking him at every turn, they managed to have a civil meal. In Lee's mind, that was a miracle.

"So what did you do on your morning off?"

Kara's question caught him off guard. Last he checked she was intent on devouring that sandwich without chewing. "I went to see the President."

"How's she doing?"

"For a woman who's recovered from cancer because she got injected with baby Cylon DNA, she's doing amazingly well."

"Good to hear. I was scared we were going to have to bow down to Baltar."

"Word on the street says you don't mind doing that," Lee teased and earned himself a rather colorful gesture. For the millionth time, he was grateful that they had gotten to the point where they could tease one another about what happened on Colonial Day.

"Well, word on the street also says I'm fraking you, Captain, so maybe you're the one who _should _mind it."

Lee rolled his eyes and took a look around the bar. It had filled up quickly in the past hour or so. He was about to turn back to Kara when his eyes caught on a familiar face. Smiling, he motioned Helo over. Kara would probably want to say hello.

The massive smile that broke out on Kara's face told Lee he had been correct. "Karl! What the frak are you doing here?"

"I got a last minute pass. I didn't know you two were down here." Helo's face scrunched up in confusion. "Why are you down here?"

"Lee took me on a date," Kara said, cheerfully beaming.

Helo raised his eyebrows. "Really? You took her on a date to a pub?"

"Well, he tried to make it fancy," Kara insisted.

"But it turns out Kara and I aren't really the fancy type," Lee finished.

'We're the beer and sandwiches type," Kara said, holding up her empty glass. "Someone get me another!"

"Gods, how many have you let her have, Captain?" Helo teased.

Lee laughed loudly as Kara stuck her tongue out at Helo. "I think this is what I missed the most," Helo said, sliding into the booth. He knew Kara and Lee wouldn't mind. After all, they were already on the most bizarre date in the history of the Twelve Colonies. "When I was stuck on Caprica, laughter wasn't easy to come by."

"How are you adjusting to its reemergence in your life?"

"Fairly easily. I mean, being around Kara and getting to witness her acting like an idiot in every sense of the word can pretty much cure anything."

Kara glared at him. "Is this pick on Starbuck night?"

"Yeah, Helo, you're ruining our date," Lee teased. "We were just in the middle of a serious discussion on how President Roslin is doing."

Helo nodded. "I heard she had an amazing recovery."

"Well, this morning she wanted to talk more about the morale on Galactica rather than how she was feeling. So it was business as usual." Lee let out a small chuckle. "Though we did have a rather interesting conversation about what the secret of life was. The President hinted that she had given it a lot of thought as the cancer wore her down, and I wanted to know if she had been given a moment of clarity at the end."

"And did she?" Kara asked.

"No. She said she just felt blank." Lee said. He turned his attention to the waitress as she handed him another round of pints. She must have heard Kara bellow before.

"You know I've always thought that the secret of life is there really isn't a secret," Helo said, taking a sip of his fresh beer. "And you don't really get your money back."

Kara and Lee stared at him for a moment before turning to look one another wide-eyed. They both burst out laughing at the same moment. "Frak me, Helo. Do you always have to be so serious?" Kara cried.

"I thought it was profound," Helo objected. He gave a large sigh and got to his feet. "Well, I'll let you two get back to your date, strange as it may be."

Kara glanced around the bar as soon as Helo left. "We should probably get going, too. There are a lot of pilots starting to show up."

"Why is that a problem?"

"You're their CAG. They're going to want to buy you drinks." Kara shrugged. "I don't feel like sharing you tonight."

Lee rolled his eyes and got to his feet. "You make me feel like a possession," he said, offering Kara his arm which she quickly took.

"You are, and for at least the rest of tonight you belong to me."

It took Kara and Lee almost twenty minutes to make it to the door. Kara had been right. There were a lot of pilots showing up and they did all want to talk with Lee. They both hoped to have a moment's peace when they got to their Raptor, but they knew that wasn't an option as soon as they saw Grinder was their pilot. The fraker wouldn't shut up even when you threatened to throw him in hack.

The second they had landed on Galactica, Lee grabbed Kara's hand and they jogged through the hangar bay as fast as her heels would allow.

"Lee, stop!" she giggled as he continued to pull her through the corridors.

"I thought you liked these runs," he joked, slowing down.

"I do when we're not making a huge scene about it."

"Kara, I hate to break this to you, but you always make a huge scene."

She glared at him all the way until they came to a stop outside the senior officers' quarters. The air between them shifted to something a little more serious. Leaning against the corridor wall, Kara smiled. "Thank you for taking me out, Lee."

"I needed it as much as you did," Lee whispered as he set his hand on the wall near the side of her head and inched closer.

"The past few weeks have been bad for you," Kara agreed.

"It helps to get back to what we deem normal these days."

Kara watched as Lee inched closer with every word falling from his lips. He was going to kiss her. They had just been on an actual date, and now Lee Adama was going to kiss her. Her mind shot back to the memory of how he had greeted her when she returned from Caprica. He kissed her then and later told her he loved her. Lee Adama loved her and now he was going to kiss her. "We're doing that standing too close thing again."

Lee nodded and leaned in to brush his nose against her hair. She smelled like heaven. He pulled back to see her eyes were wide with what he thought looked like desire. He hoped to the gods that he wasn't misreading this.

"And the staring thing," she whispered.

"But you're not laughing," Lee pointed out.

"No, I'm not." Kara bit her lip and just had time to grip the wall before Lee's hand slid up to cup her face and then they were kissing.

In the middle of the hallway.

The CAG and Galactica's top gun.

Going at it like two school children.

Like most other times in her life, Kara could give two fraks. Lee Adama was kissing her like there was no tomorrow, and it was about fraking time. Evenutally, as Lee's hands moved down her body, Kara could feel them starting to cross a line that shouldn't be crossed in the middle of a corridor. "I'm not putting out on a first date," she whispered as Lee's lips shifted to kiss that sensitive spot behind her ear that she had no clue how he knew about.

Lee's laughter tickled her skin. "Damnit. I thought you were a sure thing."

Kara smacked him playfully on the arm and pushed herself off the wall and away from the strength of his arms. She pushed open the hatch of the bunkroom and stepped inside. She felt more than heard Lee follow her into the room and didn't chance a glance back at him until she had changed into sweats. He was sitting on his bunk watching her. He had taken the time to slid off his jacket and unhook the top few buttons of his shirt, but that was it.

"What?" she said, knowing she was probably glowing right now. He was going to make fun of her.

Lee smiled back at her and shook his head. "Nothing."

"No, it's something," she said, walking over to stand in front of him.

"This isn't going to go away in the morning, is it?" Lee asked as he pulled her down into the bunk next to him.

"Us?" Lee gave her a quick nod. "No, I don't think we're going anywhere, and if that was your way of asking me on a second date, Lee, the answer is yes."

"Thank the gods," Lee said, a huge smile spreading across his face, "because I heard you put on second dates."

Kara smacked him lightly and then leaned in for a quick kiss. She could get used to this level of familiarity. "Get some rest. You have early CAP in the morning," she whispered before sliding out of his bunk.

She could feel his eyes on her as she got into her bunk. Settling in, she pulled the curtain almost completely shut. She waited the few moments it took Lee to change and as she watched him slip into the bottom bunk opposite her, she smiled. "I guess we gave them something to talk about."

"Mission accomplished," Lee said.

Kara slid her curtain shut, and with a smile on her face, did her best to go to sleep. The Old Man was going to love the gossip that would be circulating tomorrow. She couldn't wait to see his face.


	55. Wait

_Two failed marriages, one aborted Cylon pregnancy, the loss of the first ship he ever commanded, and a mutual recommitment to the military later, Lee decided she was worth the wait._

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Helo was helping empty out one of the last Cylon prisons when he saw her. A tattered smock was wrapped around her body, and her skin was caked with dirt. Her hair was a lot longer than he remembered, and it looked almost white in the harsh sun on New Caprica. Her eyes were scanning the crowd as she stubbornly fought her way to the front. She was clutching her stomach in pain.

He dropped his post immediately and ran to her side. She looked like she was about to collapse, but when Helo reached out to hold her up, she pushed his hands away immediately.

"Kara?" Her gaze remained slightly off, almost as if her mind had checked out completely. Helo couldn't fight the fear that hit the pit of his stomach. "Kara, it's Karl."

His name seemed to snap her out of it. She took a few steps away from him, and Helo would have been worried if her jaw hadn't tightened. There was a familiar glint of Starbuck in her eyes regardless of the fact that she still wouldn't look at him. "I want to see Lee."

"No problem. As soon as Cottle's cleared you, we can get a Raptor to take you over to Pegasus."

"No!" Kara growled. Her eyes finally met his. There was an icy hardness that frankly scared Helo to death. Something was gravely wrong with his friend. "I want to see Lee now."

Kara didn't say another word.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Helo found them an available Raptor almost immediately, though he did have to pull rank to get it. Kara sank down into one of the chairs. Still holding her stomach tightly, Helo watched her eyes lose focus. He let his gaze linger on her for only a moment longer and then the ship lifted into the air. As soon as they were within comm range, Helo requested to be put through to Pegasus Actual.

"Raptor 496, you should be reporting to Galactica Actual."

Helo cringed. He had forgotten Racetrack had been transferred back to Galactica for this mission when he pulled rank and conned her out of her ride home. "This is Helo, sir."

"Helo, you're supposed to be on the ground," Lee pointed out. The disapproval was thick in his voice.

"I know, sir, but something came up." Helo took a deep breath. He had a bad feeling that he was about to flip the Commander's life upside down. "I found Kara."

Lee faltered as his heart skidded to a stop. The only sign anyone in the CIC could see was his knuckles going white where they gripped the command consul. "You are to take Captain Thrace back to Galactica like all other military survivors. She is to see Doc Cottle immediately."

There was a small scuffle, and he heard Helo mutter something. "Sir, she keeps saying that she wants to see you. She's rather insistent."

"Orders are she's to go back to Galactica."

Helo glanced back at the only woman he would consider his best friend. "Pardon me, Commander, but frak orders. I'm landing on Pegasus. Shoot me down if you feel you must."

He could hear the anger filtering through Lee as the Commander took a few deep breaths. "You'll have clearance to land. You can take her to my office and I'll deal with her from there."

Lee hung up the phone with a bang and ignored the attention that got him. He motioned for Dee to come over to his side. "A situation has come up with the recovery efforts. I'm going to need to be in my office for a few hours."

"I guess the boards are mine then," Dee said with a smile.

Lee laid his hand over hers in thanks and then turned to leave the CIC. Somehow it bothered him that his wife wouldn't ask what exactly had happened, but he didn't have time to figure out why that was.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Lee was sitting at his desk when he heard the knock on his hatch. Helo stepped hesitantly into the office and after a few seconds, a woman hobbled in after him. It took Lee a moment to realize it was Kara. Her shoulders were hunched, and her face was vacant of any emotion. It was completely different from what she had always been.

"Captain Thrace, you may have been out of the military for some time, but that's no reason to be disregarding orders and taking advantage…" Lee's voice trailed off as he noticed she was clutching her stomach rather tightly. He leaped to his feet and was at her side in seconds. "Frak me, Helo. She's hurt! Why the hell didn't you take her to sickbay?"

Helo watched in amazement as Kara lowered her hands and let Lee pull aside the tatters of her dress. "She wouldn't let me within two feet of her, sir. She just kept saying she wanted to see you."

Lee looked up and saw Kara was watching him very closely. He gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile.

"Is… is it really you?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"I should send you to hack for being such a thorn in my side," Lee whispered, knowing he would have a lot of phone calls to make to explain why protocol had been broken by multiple officers of the Fleet, including the second highest leader. Because as much as he wanted to be angry with Helo, one look at Kara told him the tactical officer had been right. This was a situation, and it needed to be handled before anyone knew what was happening.

Kara's face crumbled as tears came to her eyes. She fell forward, and Lee managed to move in time to catch her. He held her close to him as her cries shook both of their bodies. After a moment, he heard the hatch click shut. Helo was gone.

"It's going to be all right," Lee said, stroking the hair of the woman he have never been able to get out of his head. "You're safe."

Lee led Kara over to his bed when his knees felt like they were going to give out from the stress of supporting both their weights. She said barely a word as he laid her down and tucked the covers around her body.

"Do you want me to call my father and let him know you're safe?"

Kara shook her head.

"He should know, Kara."

"Helo will tell him."

"He's going to want you to go back to Galactica," Lee pointed out. "He's going to want to make sure you're safe."

"I am safe," Kara whispered. "As long as you stay with me, I'm safe."

Lee couldn't focus enough to figure out what that was supposed to mean and why, even if he didn't understand it, it still brought a burning joy to his heart. "He still needs to know," Lee said softly.

Before he had a chance to move away from the bed, Kara captured one of his wrists tightly between her two hands. Her eyes were pleading. "Don't. Please. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want them to know. Don't make me tell them."

Lee's brow furrowed in concern, but he didn't try to pull away from her touch. "What happened to you, Kara?"

She shook off his question. "I just want to rest." She tugged lightly on his arm until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Promise you'll stay. Promise you won't leave me."

Lee gave a small nod and laid on the bed next to her. He was taken aback when she immediately moved herself closer to him. The last he could remember, Kara would rather die than be near him, and here she was curling her body up next to his.

He could feel her relax almost immediately and it was when she was about to drop off to sleep that she whispered, "You're the only one I can trust, Lee."

Lee stayed awake that whole night, just watching her sleep and following through with his promise. She _would_ be safe.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Lee finally broke away from Kara when his phone rang and he knew that it was his responsibilities calling. He quickly informed Dee that he was still tied up with the situation and asked if she couldn't get someone to cover the CIC while she went down to the hangar to speak with the deck chief and assess the damages done. She agreed immediately, and Lee knew that she was only humoring him. He had slipped during the year of downtime, and he knew his wife wondered if he could ever get back up to the level he had once been.

When Lee returned to the bed, he let himself surrender to the tickle of sleep that was playing along the back of his mind. He woke up sometime later to feel the bed shaking. He quickly realized it was Kara. She was having a nightmare.

His mind went back to the way his mother would soothe him when he was a child, and he gathered Kara up into his arms. He spoke quietly to her, telling her that she was safe, that she was free. It seemed to calm her down.

By the time she woke up a few hours later, the fear had taken hold of Lee. He knew he had to make her tell him what happened down on New Caprica, but he found he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know what had made her so frail.

"Lee?" Again it was the hesitant, scared voice that came from her lips.

"It's me, Kara. Remember Helo brought you on board the Pegasus last night."

Kara tensed as the memories took hold. He was right. Helo had been here. She could smell him on her skin. He was there, almost overpowered by the scent of the man lying next to her, but he was there. "I don't want to talk, Lee," she whispered, burrowing her body in closer to him. "Not yet."

Lee nodded and watched as Kara drifted off to sleep again. Hopefully, there would be time for words later.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

It soon became common knowledge in the Fleet that Captain Kara Thrace had risen from the dead and instilled herself in Commander Adama's life. It became a kind of myth. It was said that Starbuck was on Pegasus, but no one saw her.

People knew better than to ask the Commander out right If nothing else, the temper of Lee Adama was legendary throughout the Fleet. He fed into the persona of the stubborn, opinionated leader who was willing to go to the ends of the universe to uphold the ideals he believed in. It would not be wise to ask him questions.

Plus, anyone who was around during those first initial months were quick to tell the tale of Apollo and Starbuck as they had once been. Lee Adama had a soft spot for Kara Thrace, and you didn't put yourself in the middle of that if you wanted to keep living the life you had grown accustomed to.

So the brunt of the questions fell onto the calm shoulders of the Commander's wife.

Dee fielded the questions with a soft grace that left the asker feeling as if he had learned something when really no information had been exchanged. At first, it was just damage control on her part while the Fleet figured out how to repair itself and continue on the road to the thirteenth colony. Then it shifted to a more personal type of damage control.

It was embarrassing to admit that her husband wasn't completely forthright with what was happening in his personal quarters with the resurrected pilot. She hated that she hadn't seen one inch of Kara Thrace since Helo had brought her onboard. Lee kept her tucked away from sight, and since Dee had stopped sleeping in his quarters months earlier, she had no reason to visit.

So she fielded the questions. She fed the myth. She waited.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Lee tightened his grip on the folders in his hand and leaned against the closed hatch to his office. He needed a moment before he went inside.

The whole morning and most of the afternoon was spent in meetings with his crew. Then the conference call came in. His father wanted to speak to him about Kara.

Lee had danced around the real subject as much as he could, but eventually he got sick of it. "She doesn't want to see anyone right now, Dad."

"She wants to see you," William Adama pointed out. "Care to explain that?"

"No." Lee could hear his father bristling on the other end, but there was nothing he could do about that. Technically he couldn't explain why Kara seemed so willing to be around him and no one else because technically she hadn't told him why, and Lee wasn't going to push. He had done that in the past, and it got him nowhere.

The call had thrown him off enough so that when Galen Tyrol stepped into the conference room, he wasn't ready for him. The Chief and his family had been transferred to the Pegasus when it became clear that Lee's ship had sustained the most damage.

The words flowed off Tyrol's tongue so easily that Lee couldn't believe he had ever considered this man gruff. He spoke of the conditions on New Caprica after Galactica and Pegasus jumped away. He talked of the resistance and the collaborators. Just when Lee was wondering the point of this abrupt confession, Tyrol spoke of Samuel Anders.

Lee had purposefully kept himself from questioning why Kara was able to hide away in his quarters when she should have been hiding with her husband. He had been too busy juggling the consequences of their attack, their attempts to rebuild, and his need to prove Kara right when she said she could trust him.

Letting the hatch support all of his body weight, the Chief's words played through his head again. He clamped his eyes shut and focused on the voices filling the corridors as he tried to process the idea that Samuel Anders wasn't dead. He just wasn't with the Fleet.

Tyrol explained it like a slow burn. Once the Cylons occupied the planet, things shifted. Suspicions started up as the sides split into those who wouldn't stop fighting and those who thought they could find a way to live this kind of life. Kara was adamant that her husband was with them when the resistance was formed, but Tyrol was never quite sure.

It came out one night after a particularly painful lose. Anders explained that things weren't supposed to happen like this. The Cylons were supposed to let them lay down their burdens. Tyrol pointed out that the old burdens had been replaced by new ones and they would never be free until the Cylons were gone for good.

The ambrosia flowed as the two men came to terms that they had just led twenty of their friends to their deaths, and it was because of that haze that Tyrol wasn't able to pick up on what Anders was saying until it was too late.

The next morning, Tyrol awoke to find Kara gone. The Cylons had raided their facility. It wasn't until he found Anders that he realized the toasters had help. The ex-pyramid player was sitting on the bunk he had once shared with his wife, staring vacantly into space. When he finally noticed Tyrol was there, the words fell from his lips. "They weren't supposed to take her. They promised they wouldn't take her."

Tyrol kept explaining, but Lee's mind had already checked out. He didn't care why Anders did it or why that stupid jock had thought he could solve everyone's problems by cutting a deal. All he cared about was finding him and hurting him.

Lee sighed and pushed off the closed hatch. Revenge wasn't an option. Anders had been left behind by choice. For that, he would be grateful to the friends he had down there on the surface. There had been a distance between them that built up over the year he spent confined to the sky while they were free to build their second chance, but in the end, they had stepped up to protect his girl like only he could have done.

Lee opened the hatch and stepped into his office. He could the water running in the bathroom and let out a sigh as he sat down at his desk. He flung the folder of papers in front of him but didn't have the energy to open it. It was more performance reviews and personnel shifts.

The water in the bathroom shut off, and he could hear shuffling around in the bathroom. Smiling, he stood up and walked into his personal quarters. He slid his jacket off his shoulders and sat down on the bed.

It was only a few moments before Kara came out. Lee tried not to stare, but she was walking around in her bra and skivvies. This was the most skin he had seen since the day she stumbled back into his life in that tattered smock. She stopped right in front of him, and Lee watched her shuffle from one foot to the other. She was wringing her hands together as she struggled to find the words.

"What's wrong, Kara?" Lee asked, reaching out to hold her thighs. It was a constant comfort to him when she didn't shrug away from his touch, and yet it confused him. She seemed afraid of everything but him, and he had no clue why.

Kara broke him away from his thoughts as she grabbed his hands and moved them onto her stomach. Lee let his fingers run over the scaring on her stomach. She refused to let the Pegasus medics check her out, and the large surgical scar running parallel to the one she had gained from Caprica had healed over under the lone care of Lee. She hadn't talked about what it was or what it meant whenever he redressed the wound, and he didn't want to push her.

All those thoughts rushed through his mind as she let him touch her pain for the first time.

"I need your help."

Her voice was a soft whisper, but it managed to stop his touch in its tracks. She sounded scared and worried and exhausted and determined, all rolled into the small act of biting lightly on her lower lip. "Anything," Lee said without hesitation.

"I know I haven't told you much about what happened to me on New Caprica, and I want to thank you for not pushing that issue." Kara sighed and moved to sit next to Lee on the bed. "But it's time I faced up to what they did to me.'

Lee watched her hesitate again, and a bad feeling washed over him.

"I'm pregnant, Lee, and I need to get rid of it without anyone knowing."

Lee had thought he was prepared for anything she could say. He had seen and heard so much that nothing could surprise him. But this… this made his heart stop completely. "What?"

"I'm only a few months along so it shouldn't be a huge ordeal."

"Kara, abortion is illegal."

"It's a machine. I have a machine growing inside of me, and I want it out." There was a vehemence to her voice that had been missing before. "I'm starting to show, Lee, and that can't happen. People can't know."

Lee leaned forward to rest his head in his hands. Abortion wasn't an issue you could play with these days. Repopulation was key to their continued survival, and there was no one in the Fleet who would argue that point. He was the Commander of the Pegasus, second highest officer left in this world. He was supposed to set the example.

Yet this was Kara. This was his heart, his whole will to fight. And she was standing here asking him to save her.

Lee slid his hand down to grasp hers and let his gaze settle on the open hatchway leading to his office. The two most important things in his life were colliding, and yet there was no real choice to be made. "I'll come up with something, Kara. I promise."

Kara leaned her head down to rest on his shoulder. The silence of the room filled with all the things they couldn't say.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

"I want to go home."

Lee looked up from the reports he was currently working on to see Kara sitting on his couch, her legs curled up underneath her. She was in a pair of his sweats, holding a glass of ambrosia in her hand and looking completely focused. "You shouldn't be drinking that," Lee insisted.

"I need to dull the pain and considering you couldn't find a way to get me pain killers, this will have to do."

Lee nodded. The operation had been three days ago during the only off-shift he would get for the next few months. He had had to bribe Dee with the promise of a romantic dinner in order to get her to cover the CIC, and it had been worth it. Kara needed him.

Together they traveled to the Prometheus. Lee went in to the doctor's personal compartment first and only when he was satisfied was Kara allowed to enter. The operation was done to the best it could have been, and Kara was able to hobble off the ship with Lee's help.

Lee couldn't even start to explain what an immense relief it was to see Kara up and around so soon after the operation.

She set down the glass and turned to face him. "I want to get back to the way things used to be."

"You miss flying?"

Kara nodded, not sure if she could talk without crying. Being unable to fly was so painful that it threatened to keep her from getting out of bed each morning. Without flying, she had nothing.

"I can talk to my dad. He'd love to have you back on the rotation."

Kara shook her head. "I want to stay here."

Lee pushed his chair back to look at her. "Kara, you belong on Galactica. They need you."

"I don't care where everyone thinks I belong. I know where I belong. It's here."

"Kara…"

"Don't Kara me, Lee. I spent months locked up in that damn Cylon facility where the only thing changing was the level of fear coursing through my vein. I feel safe here on Pegasus. I'm not giving that up."

Lee nodded and went back to his paperwork. He heard glass clinking as Kara poured herself another drink. He looked up and watched her for a moment. This little break had been nice, but it was going to have to end. Kara wanted to get back to normal even if she wanted it on a different ship than before. That meant there was going to have to be changes. "You're going to have to move to the senior officers bunkroom."

"I figured as much," Kara agreed. "I think I can handle it."

Lee watched her for a moment before grabbing the papers on his desk. He walked over to the side of the couch and dropped them in her lap. "These are next week's flight schedules. If you want to be on active duty, you need to start being of some use to me."

Kara stuck her tongue out at him but took the pen out of his hands. Lee walked back to his desk and sat down, settling in to watch her at work. He had missed this.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Kara was in her Viper, doing her best to single-handedly kick Cylon ass, when the announcement came over the comms. They were fighting hard to win, but the last basestar refused to be taken down. Pegasus had sustained heavy losses. There was no chance the battlestar was making it through this one.

Kara's heart dropped out as she realized that this irrelevant petty officer was telling her that Lee was about to die. Her Viper faltered for a second, and luckily her wingman was there to take up the slack. She tried to focus on doing her job, but her mind kept wandering.

She still needed Lee. He couldn't die.

Her mind raced to find some way out of this situation. It hit her almost immediately that she had no control over this. She was completely powerless.

"Galactica, Starbuck. Are there escape pods being jettisoned off Pegasus before it performs its attack run?"

Kara didn't have to wait very long for her answer. "Starbuck, Galactica Actual." The sound of the Old Man's voice in her ear made her heart drop out, but she quickly pushed the fear down. She needed to know if Lee was going to make it through this. "All available Raptors have already evacuated the high-ranking personnel from the ship, and anyone who isn't necessary to running the ship will evacuate to the escape pods and then wait for pick-up when the crisis is over."

Kara wanted to ask him outright if any of those people were Lee, but she couldn't form the words.

"Starbuck, get your ass off the comms and focus on the gods-damn fight!"

She wasn't sure who was screaming at her, but it worked. She cut off the connection to the Old Man and did her best to focus as the air lit up in fire around her.

The Pegasus was gone.

She couldn't change anything about that.

She could only hope that Lee didn't do something stupid like insist he go down with his ship.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Kara took the combat landing hard, but it was the best she could do. Panic was running through her veins, pushing her into a state of complete chaos.

She needed to see him alive.

Kara let the deckhand take the helmet out of her hands and help her up onto the ladder, but she ignored the words of praise he had for her. For a second, she recognized the young man as someone she had worked with before. Then reality shoved the memory to the side. There were a lot of people in this hangar bay that she knew, but she couldn't afford to let herself recognize any of them. If she focused on these people, she would slip back into the haze Helo had found her in all those months ago on New Caprica.

Faces could be deceiving.

Kara skipped the last two steps and picked the first person she had never laid eyes on before. "Is Commander Adama on ship?"

"The Admiral's in the CIC," the deckhand said, assuming that was who she referred to.

"I don't need to know where the fraking Admiral is. I need to know where the Commander is."

"I don't know, sir. This isn't the Pegasus. It's not my job to keep track of their personnel."

"There is no personnel from Pegasus anymore, you stupid frak," Kara screamed. She could feel everyone turn their attentions towards her, but she didn't care. "The Pegasus is gone, and it's not fraking coming back. All I want to know is if the Commander made it out all right."

"I don't know, sir," the young man stammered. "It's not my job."

The next thing Kara knew she had her hands fisted in the collar of the deckhand's overalls and was slamming him repeated against her ship. "What the frak good are you, huh? Why the frak are you here, you good for nothing shit?"

"Let him go! He didn't do anything to you."

Kara turned to glare at Kat, and memories of how much she despised this particular Viper pilot assaulted her mind. "Frak off."

"Come on, Starbuck. I'll take you to see the Old Man, and we'll get this all ironed out."

Kara let the deckhand slid away from her grip. "I want to see Lee. No one else. Lee."

"The Commander is still-"

Helo was between the two top pilots before Kat could finish her thought. "You don't want to do that, Kat."

"Oh, I really do," Kat growled under her breath.

"Go work up your post briefing. Your pilots are going to want to know what's going to happen now that we're crammed on one ship or did you forget that we just took a heavy fraking loss and as the CAG you have a job to do?"

Kat's face went white as she realized Helo was right. She snapped him a quick salute and turned to start yelling at her pilots to gather their asses and head to the briefing room.

Helo waited a few seconds before turning to Kara. He made as if he was going to reach out to squeeze her shoulder in support but thought better of it. "I'm going to handle this, Kara. Just come with me."

Kara hesitated. "I… I don't know."

"You want to know if Lee's alive, you come with me, Kara." Helo wished he could be less sharp with her, but gentleness never really go through to Kara even when she was being rational.

Kara shut her eyes for a minute before nodding. Helo started walking through the corridors and stopped when they were out of the main traffic. "Just hold on a second." That got him another nod, and he picked up the handset on the wall in front of him. "Patch me through to the CIC." He waited a moment and then started speaking. "I need you to tell Galactica Actual that I have Starbuck under my watch. She landed safely."

Kara watched frustration wash across Helo's face. "No I do not have more to say to him. What I said should be sufficient and he knows why." Helo hung up the phone with a bang and turned to Kara. "Let's go."

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Kara had been pacing the empty bunkroom for over ten minutes, and in that time, she decided she had been wrong to trust Helo. He had stuck her in this stupid bunkroom, told her not to move, and then disappeared. She had no clue where he went or what he was planning on doing. When she asked, he just shrugged his shoulders and slammed the hatch shut, cutting off any idea she had about asking more questions.

Kara flopped down on the bed and grasped the bunk pillow against her stomach. She could feel the tears begin to sting as they met the cold air of the battlestar. She just wanted to see Lee. Was that too much to ask? She didn't care about how hard of a battle it had been or how much chaos Galactica was in now that it was on its own again. She just wanted to hear Lee's voice again.

If she heard his voice, she would know this wasn't a dream. She would know she wasn't back there.

The hatch slid open, and Kara fought the urge to start screaming at Helo for doing this to her. Instead she clutched the pillow tighter and turned to stare at the wall. She didn't want to deal with the bullshit anymore. "Go away."

"That's an odd thing to say considering I heard you were practically killed a deckhand trying to find me."

Kara was out of the bed in seconds and ran across the bunkroom into Lee's arms. "Where the frak have you been?"

"Abandoning my ship. Where have you been?"

"Kicking Cylon ass." Kara pulled away a few inches to run the back of her hand across her tear-stained cheeks and then she was hugging him again.

Lee felt her grip tighten and chuckled. "Gods, Kara. You really are glad to see me."

"I need you to not do that to me," she murmured against his chest.

"All right," Lee promised without hesitation. He could feel Kara start to sniffle against him again and wondered where all these tears were coming from. She hadn't cried since that first night they spent together after her rescue from New Caprica. His hands rubbed slowly up and down her back, soothing her until the tears had softened. He could hear her breathing even out and realized that the stress of not knowing he was alive had stolen the last bit of energy she had.

He leaned down and scooped her up into his arms. The bunk she had been laying on when he first arrived was only a few steps away. This time when Lee laid her down, she was too tired to ask him to stay, but that was okay.

This time, she didn't need to ask.

_ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Lee finally let his thoughts drift away from Kara after she had been peacefully sleeping for the better part of an hour. He had lied to her when she asked him where he had been. Yes, he had been abandoning his ship, but that wasn't all.

He had been talking to his wife.

Dee had been so relieved to see him in the middle of the mass of Pegasus survivors that she immediately flung herself into his arms. He caught her on instinct but quickly broke away. Affectionate gestures between them had been few and far between for quite a while, and it just felt odd to be acting like newlyweds even with the circumstances being what they were.

Dee ignored the way he shoved off her attention and started talking about the losses and what the changes meant for Lee. He knew this was her way of dealing with the trauma so he let her keep talking. It was at that point that Helo came bursting into the room. Lee locked eyes with him immediately, and not a word had to be said to tell him that this was about Kara.

A wave of understanding washed over him and Lee turned back to his wife. "I have to go."

"Lee, your duty to the Fleet can wait. You just lost your ship. Your father doesn't need you that badly."

"This isn't about my father."

Dee turned to look at where Helo was impatiently shuffling back and forth before narrowing her eyes at her husband. Lee was pulling the ring off his hand. "What is this about?"

"I'm sorry," Lee whispered, leaning in to brush a kiss across her cheek. His hand came up to hold hers for just a moment, and when he pulled back, the small silver band was clutched in her hand.

Lee looked down at the woman currently using him as a pillow and smiled. His marriage had always been on the brink of failure, but he had never let himself take that final, definitive step. When Billy had died that day on Cloud Nine, Dee had turned to him for comfort. She needed him more than anyone else in the Fleet, including his father. He kept her sane for those first few months, and that emotion was what snowballed their relationship into marriage.

Then Kara forced her way back into his life, and it was apparent that Kara needed him a lot more than Dee did. However, that wasn't what closed the door on his marriage. It was the realization that he needed Kara more than anyone else that finally made him start facing reality.

Lee pulled himself away from his thoughts as Kara began to stir against him.

"You're still here," she whispered, a sleepy smile on her face.

"I didn't want to put the deckhands' lives at risk. They earned a small reprieve, I think."

Kara buried her face in his chest, and he could feel the vibrations of her laughter against his skin. "I can't believe I did that."

"I can," Lee whispered.

Kara lifted her head to look at him. "You probably deserve an explanation why that is."

"You don't have to," Lee insisted.

"I know." Kara pulled away from him to sit at the opposite end of the bunk. Lee felt the shift in tone between them and sat up on his own end.

Kara stared down at her hands for a moment and then, taking a deep breath, raised her eyes to meet his. "You know that the Cylons took me and that they experimented on me."

Lee watched her hands automatically rest on her stomach and nodded. She didn't have to explain any of that. Having to come up with a way to secure an abortion for her said it all.

"They didn't just walk in and start sticking tubes in me," Kara corrected. "I fought them hard at first."

"At first?"

"They started working on me, torturing me and then trying to use the people I love to break me down. The pain clogged my head, and I really had no clue what was real and what wasn't. They fed me a hallucinogenic. I started seeing the people I loved, their faces, on the machines that came to my cell. I couldn't tell which end was up." Kara bit down on her lip to try to keep the tears inside, but she knew it was a losing battle. "The worst was when they made me believe the Old Man had come down to the planet to save me. They actually let me get to the door of the facility before beating me down."

"Kara…"

Kara shook her head. She wasn't doing this to get his sympathy. "I almost lost it a million times, but there was always something that kept me from buying into the nightmare completely." Kara reached out to take his hand and smiled through the tears. "They never could get you right."

Lee's eyes went wide. "Me?"

"They knew that I wouldn't give in until I knew that every person I loved had abandoned me. They made their way through the list… the Old Man, Anders, the Chief and my resistance, Saul and Ellen, Helo. Some took longer than others, but in the end, it worked."

"But not with me."

"It was always the wrong mix. You were either too harsh with me, screaming about what a frak-up I was and how I was ruining your life, or you were too gentle, promising me that we'll make it through this, that you'll keep me safe. They couldn't get the balance and that was what kept me fighting."

"But you were pregnant," Lee pointed out.

"They got frustrated with the lack of progress. Compliance stopped being a requirement."

Lee's hands tightened around hers. "Gods, Kara."

"That was why I was so insistent that Helo take me to you the day you found me. If I saw you, I would know if it was all just another hallucination."

"And I passed that test?"

Kara smirked and gave him a small wink before shifting to burrow in at his side. "You were yelling at me for disregarding orders the second you saw me, and then you saw I was hurt. You did a one-eighty and started screaming at Helo for not taking me straight to sickbay. That was what the Cylons couldn't understand. You rode my ass pretty damn hard, Lee, but when I was hurting, you were the first one to show concern."

"Frak, Kara."

"Not to mention you reminded me that I should probably be in hack. Only the real Lee Adama would call me a thorn in his side while looking so completely distraught that I was hurt."

The room filled with silence as they both tried to figure out what that said about their relationship. Kara finally decided it didn't matter what that meant. She didn't fraking care anymore. "I love you. You know that right?" Kara waited for Lee to respond, and when he didn't, she knew they had reached the moment where they normally backpedaled their way out of being honest to each other. "I know it's really selfish of me to be doing this to you, but I'm tired of always doing the proper thing and I just wanted you to know."

Lee smiled. He understood the feeling. Proper wasn't so nice when it kept you from being truly happy. "I'm going to talk to the Old Man in the morning and explain to him your situation. It might take some time, but my father loves you. He wants you to feel safe. If that means making special allowances so that I can spend more time with you, so be it."

"Lee Adama, I think you're taking advantage of my situation," Kara hissed, feigning shock.

Lee smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry?" He jokingly pushed himself flat against the bed and covered his head, seeing as how this was the kind of thing Kara usually decked him for.

Kara chuckled and slapped his hands down off his head. She could feel the smile in his eyes reflecting back in her own and shifted her position until Lee's head lay in her lap. Her fingers ran through his hair idly, and she sighed. "We are definitely playing hooky right now. You realize that, right?"

"They'll wait," Lee practically purred. He had always thought Kara's hands were fraking amazing, but now he had proof.

"Things are going to change."

Lee opened his eyes to look up at her. "It's about time, don't you think?"

Kara smiled and leaned in to kiss his forehead before her fingers started moving through his hair again.

Two failed marriages, one aborted Cylon pregnancy, the loss of the first ship he ever commanded, and a mutual recommitment to the military later, Lee decided she was worth the wait.

Unquestionably, Kara was worth it all and then some.


	56. Need

"_You're all about the need and nothing about the want," Kara yelled over her shoulder._

Kara pulled her car off the dirt road and into the driveway of the small house on the lake. She parked it half in the lawn, but only because she knew how much it would piss him off. Smiling to herself, she grabbed her bag off the front seat and hopped out of the car. Her boots dug into the grass, leaving small divots in her wake.

She managed to locate her keys by the time she climbed the million and a half stairs up to the porch, and the front door slid open with its characteristic creaking. Leaving her things on the table by the door, she made her way to the kitchen. The refrigerator was full, making Kara smile. He had finally gone shopping.

She grabbed a beer out of the back. Those were always the coldest.

"Kara, is that you?"

She smiled at the sound of his voice from somewhere in the house. She had had a feeling he would be home. "Yeah."

"All right. I'll be down in a minute."

Kara found herself nodding, even though he wasn't there to see it. Taking a long pull of her drink, she grabbed another bottle out of the refrigerator and then drifted back to the front hall. She set both drinks down and started rummaging around in her bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for something," Kara grumbled. "Got it!" She held up the piece of paper in triumph and when Lee didn't look all that impressed, she rolled her eyes. She held the unopened beer out to Lee, and they moved out onto the porch without a word.

Kara took a moment to look Lee over as she sat down on the first step. He was wearing a pair of cargo shorts, a white t-shirt, and a short-sleeved button down shirt, unbuttoned of course, simple clothes that they had to go years without, no shoes on his feet. He was always barefoot these days.

He looked happy.

"Going to keep staring at me or do you want to explain what's in your hand?"

Kara smiled. "The kids drew me a picture today."

Lee's eyes lit up. He loved hearing about her students down at the art school. He said they sounded like a whole herd of someday-Starbucks. She had to agree. They were little terrors.

"We were talking about the future, and they thought it would be cute to draw what I'm going to be doing when I get old." Kara held the picture out for Lee to look at.

His face scrunched up in confusion almost immediately, and Kara had to laugh. "What is this?"

"Well, that old women would obviously be me, and according to the kids, the man is Mr. Lee, and we're bickering because we're old and it's what we do."

Lee continued staring at the picture for a full minute before he burst out laughing. "Oh gods. That is priceless."

"Tell me about," Kara agreed, taking a swig of her drink.

"Are we arguing because we're old?"

"I asked the same questions. Turns out that although we are incredibly ornery people, the whole arguing thing is already prominent in our lives today. The kids demonstrated this by drawing me a follow-up picture of my current life."

"And where's that?"

"Hanging on the bulletin board. It was too priceless to take home."

Lee sighed and sat down next to her on the step. "I guess you're going to have to describe it to me then."

"Well, it featured a lot of profanity that I swear to the gods these kids did not learn from me."

"Kara, last week when I went to talk to the upper classes, some kid told me to frak off."

"They didn't get that word from me."

Lee raised his eyebrow but wisely chose to drop the subject and take a drink of his beer instead. "So the picture was of you yelling?"

"At you. It seems they like drawing Mr. Lee as much as they like drawing Miss Kara."

"Miss Starbuck didn't stick?"

"No," Kara said sadly. She turned in time to see Lee fighting back a laugh and realized all too late that he had been joking. "Frak you."

"And you tell me they didn't learn that word from you?"

Kara smacked Lee's arm as hard as she could. "They didn't." They sat in silence for a few seconds before she added, "I fraking hate you."

"Then why are you drinking my beer?"

"Because it's free."

"And it has nothing to do with the company?"

Kara felt the corner of her mouth lift in a smirk and nudged him lightly with her shoulder. "Maybe a little."

Lee took that to be as great of a victory as he could hope for and turned his attention back to the picture in his hand. "So what are we bickering about in this one?" He turned in time to see a slight blush spread across Kara's face. "Kara?"

"It's nothing. You know the silly things kids come up with. I'll save you the waste of time."

"Kara, I want to hear this."

"It's not important."

"Kara…"

"I told you it wasn't fraking important," she yelled, hopping to her feet. "Gods damnit. Why do you always have to push me?"

"Why do you always have to act like a child when it's completely not necessary?"

"If you weren't such an arrogant ass, I wouldn't have to stoop to your level," Kara shot back.

"Oh, I'm the arrogant ass?" Lee screamed, getting to his feet as Kara stomped down the stairs. "Well, at least I'm not a stubborn bitch."

That got Kara to turn around and glare at him. They stood locked in the staredown that they had quickly become famous for since the first second those Cylons attacked the Twelve Colonies.

This time it was Kara who broke first.

Her eyes lit up with understanding, and she shook her head with a laugh. "Frak me. The kids were right. You and I are going to be fighting until we're old and grey." She slowly made her way back up to the porch.

Lee bent down to pick up her half-finished beer and held it out to her. "So are you going to tell me what those kids thought we'd be arguing about fifty years down the line?"

"It's stupid."

"You've already made that clear."

"Well, you're not getting the point." Kara sighed. "I just don't want you to get upset."

"I won't."

"Yes, you will. You're like a whiny little bitch that way."

Lee narrowed his eyes. "Do not start with me again." Kara grinned broadly at him. "Seriously, Kara, don't start."

"Bitch."

Lee slammed his beer down on the porch railing and, before Kara could blink, she was up in the air and slung over his back. "Put me down, Lee."

"Not until you stop avoiding my question!"

Kara started punching his back and screaming bloody murder, but after a few minutes, the only thing that changed was she was out of breath and Lee was seriously pissed off again. "Fine. The kids said that you were yelling at me because you asked me to marry you for the, and I quote, million kagillion billionth time but I said no, and I was yelling because I like to say frak a lot."

"Gods, Kara. What was so hard about that?"

Kara thought it over for a minute. "I didn't want to admit they learned the word frak from me. Now put me down."

"No," Lee growled, tightening his hold on her thighs.

"Lee, I'm warning you." Kara shut her eyes, counted to three, and then when she still wasn't set on the ground, bit into his back as hard as she could. Lee practically threw her to the ground.

"Fraking hell, Kara. What was that for?"

Kara looked up at him from the floor of the porch. "You wouldn't put me down."

"You didn't have to bite me."

Kara thought it over for a minute and then shook her head. "Nope. Nothing else has ever worked."

Lee glared at her as he continued to rub the sore spot on his back. "This is going to bruise, you know."

"Wait a second. What was that?" Kara started looking around her before smacking her head. "That was the sound of you being a whiny bitch. I knew I heard it before."

"You really need to grow up, Kara."

"I _need_ to grow up? That's all you have to say to me? I _need_ to grow up?"

"Yeah, you do."

Kara shook her head and grabbed Lee's beer off the railing. She finished it off in a few seconds and tossed the empty bottle to him. "See, that was always your problem, Lee." She held his gaze for a minute before rolling her eyes and turning her back to him. "You're all about the need and nothing about the want," Kara yelled over her shoulder.

Kara could practically hear the steam coming out of his ears as she made her way to the front door. She was a few steps away from her goal when she heard a loud clunk. She turned in time to see the empty beer bottle rolling across the porch and then the only thing in her line of sight was Lee. He grabbed hold of her and pushed her back into the wall of the house. "I'll give you want," he growled.

Kara's mouth had dropped open in surprise at being pushed so it made it quite easy for him to plant a rather presumptuous kiss on her. His tongue teased her lips for a second and then slipped into her mouth without hesitation. Kara felt her nails digging into his shoulders and told herself she was just trying to stay upright. She wasn't encouraging.

Then the moan fell off her tongue and she felt her hips grind harshly against his. Okay, maybe she was encouraging just a little bit.

She felt his hands come down to grab her ass and then she was being lifted off the ground. The wall dug into her back as he pushed harder against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kept the kiss going. She locked her legs around his waist and, even though she was pretty sure she shouldn't be helping him decide whether he _wanted _this, she ground her body against his already tight pants. He groaned and then she felt him whisper her name against her lips before pulling away.

His lips trailed down her neck, and Kara silently thanked the gods that she had had the foresight to leave her button-up work shirt in the car. The tanks gave Lee easy access to that super sensitive spot right along her collar bone which he was currently enjoying. She tightened her grip as he slowly licked a line across the soft skin.

He used his body and the wall of the house to hold her up while reaching his hands down to grab the bottom of her tanks. "Lee, we can't," she whispered. The words seemed to surprise him. Hell, they even surprised her. She was pretty sure she had never used that particular phrase before.

"What?"

Kara loosened her hold on him, and he let her legs slid to the floor. "We are on your front porch. This isn't decent."

"So we'll move inside," Lee said with a shrug. He leaned in to start nibbling at her neck again, but Kara managed to slap his hands away before they started trying to take her top off again. "What now?" he whined.

Kara chose to ignore the urge to call him a whiny bitch for a third time that day and instead focused on the real problem in front of them. Pushing out from where he still had her pinned to the wall, she crossed her arms and turned to face him, narrowing her eyes. "Are you trying to prove a point to me?"

"I think I am," Lee said, crossing his arms to mirror her posture.

"That's fraked up. You realize that right? There's not a lot left for me in my life now, and you're willing to frak up the one good friendship I still have after this damn war because you want to prove a point." Kara bit her lip to hold the tears in, and when she realized that wasn't happening, she turned her back to Lee. "Well, you proved your point, I guess. You have that whole want, take, have thing down. Congratulations."

Kara waited for him to start celebrating his victory, but it didn't happen. Instead, she felt his hands come around her shoulders to pull her back a few inches. His arms circled around her, and she felt the small pressure of his chin laying on her shoulder. "That wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"Oh really?" Kara hated that her voice came out so shaky. Lee definitely knew she was crying.

"Really."

Kara turned her head to look at him, and she was surprised to find she had no clue what he was thinking. She had always been able to figure out what he was feeling by the look in his eyes, and yet now, when she really needed to know, they were just an icy blue slate of blankness. "Lee?"

"I wanted to prove to you that your kids have no idea what they're talking about."

"What?" The small laugh escaped Kara's lips before she could stop.

"Well, I was hoping that kiss might help me wear you down so that when we're old and grey, I won't still be yelling about you saying no to the idea of marriage."

Kara shrugged out of his arms as quickly as she could. She really wasn't in the mood for this game anymore. Right now, she just wanted to drive back to her apartment in the city, change into some sweats that had never belonged to Lee which really left her with only one pair, and surrender herself to a night of mindless television that would keep her from thinking about how fraked up her life _still_ was after everything that had happened.

She was halfway down the stairs when his voice stopped her cold. "Please marry me, Kara." She stayed frozen as she heard his footsteps move across the porch and down the stairs. She didn't flinch when he stopped on the stair next to her and turned her body to face him. "You were wrong, Kara."

"About what?"

"I understand that there's a big difference between needing and wanting."

Her eyes drifted up to the porch. "So you do."

"But you see there's something you don't get." Lee reached out to grasp her hand. "There's a difference between needing and wanting, but in the end, that difference doesn't matter one fraking bit. Because in the end, need and want become the same thing in a way." Lee smiled at her. "I'll give you an example. I clearly want you to marry me, but I need you not to walk down those porch steps. See? They're practically the same thing."

Kara gave him an incredulous look. Those two things were nothing alike.

"All right. Let's try this one. I want you to marry me, but I need you to be in my life until we're old and grey."

"Better," Kara whispered, tightening her grip on his hand.

Lee smiled. "So, what do you say?"

"I say we're going to kill each other if we get married."

"We're going to kill each other even if we're not."

"Good point."

"Anyone could see that."

Kara let out a deep sigh. "Okay, then. Let's get married."

Lee let out a huge whoop and picked her up in his arms. Kara thought for a second that she might die as he swung her around on the step, but she figured there were worse ways to go so she just pushed the nagging thought out of her head.

When her feet were back on the ground, she pushed Lee away from her and pulled the rubber band from her wrist to tie her hair back. The second that was done, she reached down to slid her hand into Lee's again. "I want another beer."

"I just went shopping," Lee pointed out as they started walking up the stairs.

"I noticed." Lee dropped her hand to open the front door for her, and she shook her head. She hated his stupid archaic shows of being a gentleman, but she was willing to let it go this time considering he had just asked her to be his wife. "Tomorrow's show and tell at the school."

"Really? The kids rope you into participating?"

"Yeah." Kara paused to look over her shoulder at him. "Can I show you?"

Lee shook his head and let out a laugh as the front door slammed shut behind them.


	57. Stop

_"We need to stop," Kara Anders hissed as she clawed at the fly of Lee Adama's pants, knowing they had about two minutes before Dualla Adama came home to see her husband._

"We need to stop," Kara Anders hissed as she clawed at the fly of Lee Adama's pants, knowing they had about two minutes before Dualla Adama came home to see her husband. She had barely finished before Lee was bunching her skirt up around her thighs. His fingers slid right to her. "No underwear, Kara?" he teased.

Kara's first attempt at responding came out as a low moan when he drove his full length into her. The second time, she was able to talk through the groans. "The President… called me for a meeting… wanted to look nice… considering I'm a… oh frak… I've only recently… been appointed… her military advisor…. I thought I might… see you afterwards." Kara tightened down on his cock and smiled. "I wanted to make this convenient."

Lee pushed her flat against his desk and held her wrists with his hand. He pounded himself into her again and again while taking the time to kiss a fiery path along her neck and down to her still covered breasts. "I wish I had time to do this properly."

"I wish you had time, too," Kara agreed. Her hands slipped from his grasp and tightened around his ass to urge him to push harder.

It needed to be quick like always which was why neither one fought to keep control. They just let their emotions and desires take over. Kara felt herself explode around Lee just as he released himself inside her.

They wasted a few precious seconds getting used to what had just happened, and then they disengaged. Kara pushed her dress down and did her best to calm the flush she knew was all over her skin. Lee zipped up his pants and sat down behind the desk he had just fraked Kara senseless on.

Kara took a seat across from him and reached out to grab the top report. She was halfway through it when Lee looked up at her. He watched her for a moment before he asked, "Does this make you feel dirty?"

She knew the answer immediately, but out of respect, she made herself think it over for a moment. The answer didn't change. "Something that feels this good could never do that." She set the report down and reached across the table to grasp Lee's hand. "Sam had been… what's a good way to put it… stepping out on me for a few years now. Our relationship bottomed out once we both realized that the bright, shiny future of New Caprica wasn't real. Things changed, and so did he. We've both talked it over, and if either one of us wants out, then we're willing to end it."

Kara's face went pale as she realized what her words must sound like to Lee. Completely embarrassed and a little nervous that she had just fraked everything up yet again, she forced herself to go back to the reports.

Lee silently watched her at work. Most days, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. On the days that wasn't true, she was a goddess, not even fit to be compared to human beauty. He couldn't believe that a woman like her would want a complete frak-up like him. "Do you want me to tell Dee I want a divorce?"

Kara's eyes darted up to met his, and her heart froze. She wasn't sure if it was out of fear or joy. "Is that what _you_ want? A divorce?"

Lee watched her and wondered if this would be the last time he ever put his heart on the line. Was this the moment he had been waiting so many fraking years to finally have?

"I want you," he whispered, leaning halfway across the desk.

She leaned in the other half. The kiss was sweet, the kind you see many couples giving to one another in passing, but for Kara and Lee, it was monumental. This was the one unspoken rule between them since the very beginning because they both knew that if they tasted each other, really tasted each other in this small, simple way, there was no going back. They wouldn't be able to turn off what they felt.

There was a soft knock on Lee's office hatch, and Kara broke away from the kiss. She smiled as she gathered up the papers. "I'll just take these into the briefing room and finish them up. You and your wife probably have a lot to talk about, and it would be better if I was nowhere to be seen."

Lee grabbed her waist and pulled her down onto his lap for a quick kiss before pushing her back to her feet.

"What was that for?"

"Just something to get you through the next few hours."

"And after the next few hours are up?"

"You won't have to rely on memories anymore."

Kara knew she had a wicked grin on her face as she pushed past Anastasia Adama into the corridor. She knew that Dee would be instinctively suspicious, but she didn't care. She was going to take a long, hot shower, and then she was going to wait for Lee to come to her.

Something told her that as fraked up as this was, the gods had finally rewarded her.


	58. Gentle

_Kara walked into the break room and, seeing Lee in full concentration mode with the flight schedules, leaned in to blow gently against the back of his neck._

Kara walked into the break room and, seeing Lee in full concentration mode with the flight schedules, leaned in to blow gently against the back of his neck. She felt him stiffen, but he didn't move. Moving would call attention to them, and as much as Kara loved attention, she didn't want it right now.

The corner of Lee's mouth quirked up into the start of a smile as she slid into the chair next to him. Her hand ran along his shoulders until she was playing with the small hairs at the back of his neck.

She had always been the type of girl to fall in love fast and out of love even quicker. It suited her in many ways.

It was always the same. She found a man she wanted. She toyed with him, teasing and laughing and flirting, until he was hers. She had her fill and then she moved on.

Kara felt Lee relax back against the motions of her hand on his neck and knew it was happening again. She was falling in love again, and there was nothing she could do about it. Never in a million years would she have expected it to be with Lee, but she couldn't change it now.

Her heart always did have a mind of its own.

Kara leaned into the table and started reading the flight schedules in front of Lee. He was doing pretty good, coming up with new ways to merge the two battlestars together into one seamless Fleet. Not that he still wasn't making mistakes. She grabbed the pen out of Lee's hand and switched Racetrack out of the same CAP slot as Sunshine. Racetrack had had a particularly nasty triad loss to Sunshine, and it was quite possible any interaction between the two would cause a fist fight when they hit the ground. "This is better."

"Thanks." Because she was leaning in to write, Lee's voice was a gravelly whisper in her ear. Kara fought to hold back the shiver.

It had been so long since a guy could affect her without even trying. She had prided herself on the defenses she built when Zak died. Somehow, it made sense that it was his brother that blew it all away.

She had thought she was being smart, keeping her herself locked down. There was a lot of hurt inside her, and it was just easy to keep it inside. The Old Man didn't need it, not with what was happening with his eldest son. Her fellow pilots didn't care. They had their own problems. So she just pushed it down, figuring when things got easier, she'd deal with it.

Things didn't get easier so to some degree she was still keeping herself in check. Helo had even begun to tease her that she was losing her Starbuck flare. That was before the attacks happened. Now, he kept pointing out glimpses of Starbuck. Kara felt herself coming back to life. She just wasn't ready to tell Karl that it was because of Lee.

Kara felt Lee's hand move to lay palm up on her thigh. She tried to keep the smile to herself as she slid her hand into his. Together, they kept up the façade of flight schedules.

She knew why she had been so closed off. She had let herself love Zak openly, and when he died, he took that with her. She was never scared of love before she lost Zak. She was never scared of being hurt.

Kara had made the decision that she would only fall in love again if she had the promise that the man she loved would not hurt her. She was tired of being hurt.

"I'm tired."

Kara turned her attention back to Lee and saw he was telling the truth. There were bags under his eyes so large they probably could have taken out a base star on their own. "I can finish them if you like," she offered.

Lee shook his head and stood up. "No, I'll get to them." He leaned over her shoulder to push the papers into a pile just like she expected him to. Lee was nothing if not neat.

Then, he surprised her. She felt his hands slid away from the table to make themselves at home on her shoulders. He gave them a quick squeeze and then leaned down to whisper in her ear. "So what do you say, Captain? Are you in the mood for a nap?"

Kara twisted to smile at him. There was a huge chance that she could get hurt pretty bad in this one. It was unfortunate that she didn't care. "A nap sounds like heaven, sir."


	59. Just

Lee pushed himself inside Kara just as her eyes opened to meet his.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooo

Kara made her way down the corridors of the ship and did her best to not attract attention. She didn't want people asking a lot of questions about where she was going. She knocked on the hatch to the long-abandoned office and, hearing Gaeta inside, pushed the hatch open. "I feel like I'm doing something naughty," she teased.

Her eyes scanned the room. It was in the middle of being renovated into quarters for married couples now that fraternization regulations had been relaxed. There was a lot of crates and junk sitting around, but somehow Gaeta had managed to make the one small corner look appetizing. There was cotton sheets on the bed and a large pile of pillows. Kara smiled. That was probably as good as she could expect it with the conditions of the Fleet right now.

Her eyes fell back on Gaeta, and she watched the tactical officer shuffle from one foot to the other. He looked nervous. That was wrong. _He_ wasn't supposed to be nervous about this. "What's wrong?" Kara said, narrowing her eyes.

"There was this triad game last night," Gaeta said. He still wasn't looking at her.

"There's a triad game every night."

"I… um… I did something really stupid, but you see I thought I had him beat. I mean four on a run is pretty damn good considering. So I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"Felix!" Kara yelled. That seemed to snap Gaeta out of his little funk.

"I know I promised you if you did this, I would make it as comfortable as possible for you, but I guess I lied."

Kara's mind flashed back to when Gaeta had come to her with the idea of a calendar for the Fleet, something that would improve morale and show the civilians that they weren't all hardened soldiers here. It had been a good idea, and Kara agreed with Gaeta when he said the project wouldn't be complete without Starbuck. Plus, because it was Gaeta, she knew she could trust him not to turn this into something that would embarrass her. He had promised her. "What did you do?"

"Everyone knows about this side project, and I guess it's been a rather popular idea for a lot of the men in the Fleet. I swear to the gods, I had him, but then he threw down full colors."

"What did you bet?"

"I told him he could take the pictures for one of the pages."

"One of the pages?" Kara prodded, sensing there was more.

"Whichever one he wanted."

"Oh, Gaeta, you didn't."

"How the frak was I supposed to know he'd have full colors?"

Kara shut her eyes and sat down on the bed. Her mind started playing through all the scenarios. Jammer babbling on about how he always dreamed of this moment. Baltar looking at her with that skuzzy smile of his. Helo cracking jokes about how she's going to be the subject of many men getting off. Duck not being able to stop blushing. Hot Dog asking her if she'd pull the sheet a little lower. Kara lowered her head in her hands. This was going to be a nightmare.

"Am I interrupting?"

Kara felt a jolt in her stomach at the sound of Lee's voice. She lowered her hands and realized he really was standing there. Gods, she had never even considered it could have been him.

A thought tingled at the back of her head. Didn't Gaeta say his triad opponent got to _pick_ the woman he was going to photograph? Kara knew for a fact that there were a lot of attractive woman doing this thing, ones that she had caught Lee staring at appreciatively more than once. He could have picked Racetrack or Showboat or Seelix, but he didn't.

Kara jumped when she heard the hatch shut. She hadn't even realized Gaeta was leaving. The bed dipped beside her as Lee sat down. "You look a little pale, Kara," he commented.

"I'm okay. I just wasn't ready for this."

"You can trust me."

Kara nodded. She knew that. The problem wasn't that she didn't trust Lee to take these pictures. It was that she didn't trust herself.

"I…" Lee's words caught in his throat, and he coughed. "I guess I owe you a little explanation. When I won that pot, I almost wished I didn't. I'm the CAG. As much as I _highly _support this project of Gaeta's," He paused to see a smile playing at the corners of Kara's lips, "it's kind of inappropriate for me. So I figured you would be the safest one to pick."

Kara nodded and tried to ignore the slight feeling of disappointment at Lee thinking she was safe.

"I brought you a present," Lee said.

Kara realized he had been holding a cigar in his hand this whole time. "Is that…"

"The best Caprica makes. I've been saving it for when I really needed it. I guess it's my attempt to get out of this one without having you kill me."

Kara took the cigar and ran her fingers over the smooth length. They didn't make smokes like this in the Fleet. Her eyes turned to look at the white, cotton sheets, and she suddenly felt the nerves kick back in again. She was really going to do this? "I guess we should start."

Lee nodded and got to his feet. "I'm just going to look at the kind of camera Gaeta found while you…"

"While I take off my clothes?" Kara said with a smirk.

Lee rolled his eyes. She actually was delighting in his discomfort. "Yeah. Get to it, Thrace."

Kara took her boots off and then slid her sweatpants to the ground. The metal grating of the floor was cool underneath her bare feet. She dropped her zip sweatshirt to the floor and pulled her double tanks over her head. They landed in a pile next to her pants. The cold air hit her just as she glanced Lee's way, and she shivered. He was trying not to stare at her. It wasn't working. Kara felt herself shiver again. This time it had nothing to do with the cold.

She turned her back to him and lifted her sports bra over her head. She could feel his eyes burning into the skin of her back and had to fight down the sudden stab of longing in the pit of her stomach.

She jumped slightly when she felt Lee's arms draw a sheet around her body. She hadn't heard him move. "Do… do you…" Lee raised an eyebrow at her as she stumbled to find the right words. "Oh gods, this is embarrassing. Do you want me to take off my underwear?"

"It's up to you," Lee replied.

Kara held his eyes for a minute before shrugging. "Might as well go for broke." She reached under the sheet and looped her fingers around her underwear, pulling them down her legs and kicking them to the side. "Do you want me on the bed?"

Kara saw something flash across Lee's face. It looked a hell of a lot like desire. Lee nodded and turned around to pick up the camera. She sat down on the bed and tried to position herself right. It was hard having to hold on to this sheet and look like she didn't mind having pictures taken of her half-naked body.

"Ready?"

"Anything for Fleet morale," Kara joked.

Lee took a few shots but quickly stopped. "Would you stop smiling like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like an idiot. This isn't a grade school picture."

"Well, unlike you, I haven't seen a lot of these kinds of things so you're going to have to help me out a little," Kara growled. She jumped slightly when she heard the sound of the shutter clicking. "Did you just take a picture?"

Lee lowered the camera and smiled. "You're rather cute when you're pissed off."

Kara chuckled softly, but this time wasn't surprised when Lee took a few more pictures. "What? My laughter is cute, too?"

"It's downright frakable," Lee teased.

Kara rolled her eyes with a smile and shifted her body to a new position. The sheet rode up her thigh a few more inches as she pushed her legs apart. She leaned in a little, letting the sheet dip down in the front, and smirked. She would have felt a little stupid being this brazen if she couldn't see the flush that was starting to come to Lee's face. She must be doing something right.

"I thought you said you hadn't seen a lot of these types of things?" Lee whispered as he began shooting again.

"I haven't. My expertise comes from other areas."

Kara forced herself to relax. This was just Lee taking pictures of her. There was no need to worry or be scared. He wouldn't do anything that she didn't like. Soon it became a mantra in her head. _This is Lee this is Lee this is Lee this is Lee this is Lee._

And then something shifted. She was sure what it was, but suddenly the idea that this was _Lee_ taking rather steamy pictures of her started _exciting _her. She could feel her nipples tighten and a familiar tingling between her legs. She really should have left her underwear on.

"Hold on. I have to get more film," Lee said, stepping away from his position in front of the bed.

Kara shut her eyes and used the moment to try to calm herself. When she finally opened her eyes again, she saw that Lee was staring at her again. She looked down to do a quick check that the sheet was in place before looking back at him. She cocked an eyebrow at him in question.

"Will you do something for me?" Kara found herself nodding before she could stop herself.

Lee walked over to her pile of clothes and picked up the cigar he had given her. He held it in front of her mouth and waited until she had taken it between her lips before pulling out the lighter. Kara inhaled deeply and sighed. She really missed these cigars.

Lee looked through the lens of the camera before smiling. "Now that's Starbuck."

Kara let him take a few pictures before speaking. "You're a rather creative man, Lee Adama."

Lee shook his head. "Nope. Just observant."

"How so?"

"I was around those first few weeks after the attacks. Your little habit of coming back to the bunkroom after your CAP, peeling off your clothes, lighting up a cigar, and laying down in your bunk didn't go unnoticed."

Kara didn't know how to respond to that so she just took a long puff of the cigar and blew a smoke ring. "So you really think this calendar is going to help morale?"

"It already is. A lot has changed since the attacks. There's only a few things to be excited about these days." Lee lowered the camera to smile at her. "This is definitely one of them."

Kara's eyes held his as she took a few more puffs off the cigar. There was something different about the way he was looking at her, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Lee let out his breath when Kara finally pulled her eyes away from him. He was doing his best to stay in control here, but it was getting harder and harder as she got more relaxed. Though he only had himself to blame for the whole cigar thing.

He started taking a few more pictures again while his thoughts drifted back to why he was here in the first place. He had lied to Kara when he said that he chose her because she was the safe choice. That was so far from the truth he was surprised she hadn't laughed in his face.

Kara Thrace was not and would never be safe.

The night before at the triad table, he had pretended to think over which girl's photo shoot he was going to take away from Gaeta. The decision had been almost immediate, but Lee didn't want anyone knowing that. They would only ask questions about why he wanted Kara's shoot so badly. Then he would have to explain how he had this insanely jealous notion that no one should get to see his girl like this except for him.

And that was another thing. He had no clue when he had started thinking of Kara as _his_ girl. He had no clue when he started getting jealous of other men flirting with her, touching her, but it had happened. He trusted Gaeta, but it was a relief to know that he was going to be able to handle how Kara would come out looking in this calendar project.

"Shit!"

Kara's hiss of pain snapped him out of his thoughts. "What happened?" Lee said, setting down the camera immediately.

"I dropped the fraking cigar on my thigh," Kara growled. She silently prayed to the gods that Lee wouldn't ask her what had her so distracted that she lost her grip.

Lee walked over to the bed and looked down to see the small, raw pink spot on Kara's thigh. His finger reached out to touch the sensitive skin, and he felt her stiffen. "Does it hurt?"

"A little."

Lee nodded. "All right. We can stop. I think I have enough."

"No!" Kara winced at how abrupt and loud that had come out. "You weren't going to stop before I turned into a major klutz so you weren't satisfied. It really doesn't hurt that much, and I can just put that leg under the sheet." Kara demonstrated what she meant, pulling the sheet off her good leg. "Besides this one has my battle scars on it."

Lee's eyes roamed the length of her leg and saw that there were a few leftover marks on her knee from the operations she had had to go through all those years before. He had to admit she was right to think this leg would do just fine. There was something about scars that was so damn sexy, especially when they were on Kara's body. "All right," Lee agreed, standing up and walking back to his camera.

Kara twisted to the side, trying to get in a position that wouldn't cramp up her knee, but it just wasn't working. The sheet kept riding up and dipping down in all the wrong places.

"That looks real sexy, Kara," Lee teased.

"I'm fraking trying," she hissed.

A few more seconds of squirming with no success had Lee setting down the camera for a second time and walking over to the bed. "Let me help," he said. Kara stopped squirming immediately, and Lee suddenly realized what he had just gotten himself into.

Kara sat as still as she could as Lee turned her body at an angle. He adjusted the sheet to sit high up on her thigh. Kara smiled when he paused a second and then moved it down an inch. Lee let out a small sigh as his fingers shifted her hair to fall on her shoulder. Kara was surprised at how gentle he was being with her. He had never been one to treat her like she was made of glass, but he seemed to think that was exactly what she was made of now.

Lee let his fingers move down to where she clutched the sheet tightly against her chest. He knew he was treading in dangerous waters right now, but he didn't care. This was as close as Kara was ever going to let him get, and he was going to savor it. He shifted the sheet so that just a small glimpse of the side of her breast would be seen in the photos. If this wasn't the shot that sold a million calendars, Lee would quit flying.

"All set?" Kara whispered. Her voice came out in a husky whisper that seemed to surprise both of them.

Lee nodded and took a step back. He was going to have to get himself under control and fast. She was killing him. A small part of him was suddenly thankful that he had been the one to win that pot from Gaeta. If any other man was here with Kara, she would have been ravaged forwards and backwards by now, and Kara would have just another notch in her bedpost, another story to tell in jest over ambrosia and cards.

His eyes locked with Kara's a few moments before he lifted the camera and clicked the shutter. He sighed and set the camera down. "Done."

"Done?"

"Trust me. That was the one." Kara's skin blushed, and Lee couldn't figure out what she had to feel embarrassed about. Her head was cast down away from him, and he watched her tongue dart out to wet her lips. Then she bit her bottom lip softly and Lee couldn't help himself. He picked the camera up again and snapped off a few shots.

Kara's eyes darted up to look at him. "I thought you said we were done."

"Maybe those were for me." He meant his words to sound teasing, but they came out serious.

A flicker of a smile played at the corners of Kara's mouth, and Lee felt his pants tighten. He swore softly. He had lost his concentration for just a second.

Lee found himself staring at Kara where she sat unmoving on the bed. Why wasn't she getting dressed? He had said this was over. If she just kept sitting there, he would have to keep fighting the impulse to take more pictures of her to create more evidence that this had actually happened.

"Why did you really pick me?"

Her words were so soft that he almost didn't hear them. He wished he could say that he didn't understand what she was asking.

Kara looked up at him, white sheet still clutched to her body, with such a lost look on her face that Lee couldn't stop himself. He hated that Kara had these insecurities when she was the nearest thing to perfect in Lee's mind. He dropped the camera on the table and was kneeling on the bed beside her before she could blink.

Kara inhaled sharply as Lee's hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him. His lips crushed hers in a surprisingly gentle show of strength. She was too surprised to move let alone think to kiss him back.

Lee pulled away some time later to rest his forehead against hers while he fought to regain his bearings. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I…"

"Why did you pick me?" Kara asked again.

Lee shifted to look into her eyes. Teasing banter was on the tip of his tongue, but in the end, it was the truth that fell from his lips. "I thought it would be safe. I thought if I could just have you in this way, then it would be enough to get me through what would happen when those damn calendars came at. Everyone would finally see what I do every time I look at you, Kara. They're going to see that you exude that sexy, stubborn Starbuck mentality from every inch of you. And I wanted to protect you, make sure that you were okay. I didn't want you to feel stupid for doing this."

"You made me feel a lot of things, Lee, but stupid wasn't one of them," Kara whispered, a shy smile on her lips.

Lee ran her words through his head for a few seconds. She couldn't be saying what he thought she was saying. There was no way. This was Kara.

Kara waited for Lee to say something, for him to do something, but he just sat there with his hands still wrapped around her body, silently lost in thought. "I'm glad you wanted to protect me."

Lee shook his head. "It's more than that. I wanted…" The words fell away as Lee watched Kara's eyes flick down to his mouth. She licked her lips slowly in an action he was pretty sure he couldn't misinterpret even if he tried. Something stirred inside him again, and he figured if he couldn't tell her why he had to be the one to do this for her, he could at least show her. This time his kiss was gentle, less ravenous passion and more slow burning desire.

Kara felt the sheet slip through her fingers as she reached up to wrap her hands around his neck. Lee nibbled on her bottom lip, begging for entry, as he pushed their bodies flush against the bed. His tongue glided into her mouth, and Kara let out a small moan. This couldn't actually be happening. Lee's hand teased the sheet all the way down to her waist, and the flare of need coursing through her body told her this was definitely happening.

Lee let his hands run over her smooth ivory skin, the very thing he had been mesmerized by for the past hour. He felt her stiffen as his hand brushed against the side of her breast. The sound of his name falling from her lips was enough to tell him that he wasn't reading this wrong. By whatever miracle of the gods, she wanted him.

Kara drew Lee's mouth to hers as his hands circled her breasts, first in light, teasing brushes and then more insistent. Her hips started bucking against his body, and he pulled away from the touch of her lips. Lee placed a trail of kisses down her neck, stopping to suck lightly on where her pulse was racing out of control, and then continued down to suckle her breast. She moaned his name softly and used her hands to hold his head in place.

His eyes raised up to meet hers as he continued to taste her skin. She was already too much for him, and he had barely started. His hand traveled down her body until he could feel the heat of her on his callused skin. "Do you want this, Kara?" he asked quietly as he returned his attentions back to her mouth.

Kara pushed her hips off the bed, forcing his hand to rub against her. Lee figured that was all the answer he needed and slowly slid his finger into her. She let out a gasp, and her motions stilled for a moment until he started working her slow and smooth. She moved her hand down on top of his and guided his motions until it hit just the right spot.

Lee pushed a second finger inside of her just as she started to pant through the beginnings of her release. Her hand fell away from his along with the rest of the thoughts in her head. Her body squirmed underneath him, but he didn't let up with the pressure. His lips moved to brush a soft kiss across her temple before sliding down to tease her mouth. Kara gave herself to him on instinct and opened her eyes. His tongue came out to moisten his lips and then he smiled.

Kara could feel her body tighten around his fingers while he continued to slid inside and withdraw. His thumb pressed on just the right spot to make her tremble. "Oh gods."

Lee crooked his finger inside of her and felt the intensity of Kara's eyes locked with his own. Her mouth dropped open as she tried to form words and blissfully failed. All she managed to do was whisper his name, but it was enough to make him slid a third finger inside of her.

The heel of her leg locked behind his knee, and her hips started shameless bucking herself into his hand. She could hear his voice whispering something soft and low in her ear but couldn't focus enough to figure out what it was. She did take notice when his tongue ran along the edge of her ear, and that little sensation pushed her over the edge. She came calling his name.

Kara's vision finally cleared after a few minutes, and she quickly realized she was lying on the bed with a sheet barely wrapped around her naked body while Lee still had too much clothing on his body. There was something insanely sexy about being so bare in the cold air of the ship and yet so satisfied.

Her hands came out to the hem of his tanks and pulled them over his heads. "Now that's a little better," she whispered. She pushed Lee up off the bed and quickly joined him, ignoring the sheet now pooled at her feet. Lee smirked as her hands came down to unbutton his pants. She slid them to the floor along with his briefs, putting herself at eye level with his painfully hard erection. "That's even better," she said, her voice returning to the husky lowness of before. Unable to help herself, she leaned forward to take the tip of his erection into her mouth.

Lee shut his eyes and tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't be letting Kara do this to him. None of them added up to enough to make him push her away until he realized the longer he let her do this, the longer he had to wait until he was inside her.

Kara let out a small cry of protest when Lee latched on to her shoulders and pulled her to his feet. It was so small and cute that Lee was tempted to let go and have her finish the job, but then her lips were in front of his.

The momentum of the kiss pushed their bodies back down onto the bed, and Kara sighed as she felt his solid weight pressing her body into the mattress. She said his name, a quiet purring syllable that came from somewhere deep inside. Her hands made a smooth trail up and down his back, and Lee smiled against her lips. "I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming right now, but I'm okay with that," he whispered.

"Me, too," she agreed.

They shared a small smile before Lee shifted his body so that he was dangerously close to entering her. He leaned in to kiss the curve of her neck, tasting the sweat on her skin and finding it impossibly sweet. "You taste like heaven," he whispered.

Kara felt her hips buck slowly in response. Hearing words like that coming from Lee's lips was almost too much for her. She let her eyes slid shut and her body do the talking as Lee teased her entrance. His lips moved down to take in one of her hardened peaks, and Kara felt the excitement stir inside of her as the memory of where this had ended up the last time suddenly surfaced.

Lee pushed himself inside her just as Kara's eyes opened to meet his.

There was a flash of something familiar in her eyes. Her mouth dropped open as her body adjusted to the feel of him. Lee leaned in to kiss the furrows in her brow. She was concentrating so hard to stay in control he couldn't help it. Kara's mouth slid into a smile and then she leaned up to kiss him.

Lee let himself surrender to the complete bliss of her kiss before he slowly pulled out of her only to thrust right back in. This time Kara managed to gasp something that sounded a lot like his name. Lee continued to tease Kara, keeping her distracted just enough that she forgot how much she hated to not be in control. He didn't want this to be hard and fast, not when he was pretty sure she would come to her senses at any second.

Lee realized how wrong he was when her hand came down around him mid-thrust. He paused just long enough for her to tighten her thighs and use his momentum to flip his back against the mattress. She gave him that famous Starbuck smirk and then bore down on his cock as hard as she could. He could feel himself deep inside her and then she was maneuvering him at an angle that was so tight he couldn't help groaning. He was wrong. Hard and fast was very much the way to go.

Kara's hands rested on his chest as she twisted her hips to a steadily increasing rhythm. Digging his fingers into her hip was all Lee could do to try to maintain control. His eyes sought out her own, and he settled in to watch as she played his body like a finely tuned Viper.

Lee felt himself near the edge within a minute and pulled Kara's chest down against him. He kissed her with every ounce of his being while moving his hips to keep her from pulling away to far.

Kara bit down on his bottom lip, and the sensation of pain mixing with pleasure caused him to finally topple over the edge. He moved his fingers down to put pressure on her sweet spot and was pleased when she practically screamed his name. Her walls tightened around him, pretty much reassuring that he would have no energy for a second round even if she deemed him worthy of the chance.

"Frak me," Kara said, letting her body rest lightly on top of his. She shifted her cheek to lay right above where his heart was beating so steady and strong.

Lee gave in to the urge to hold her as close as possible and tighten his arms around her body. He brushed a small kiss across the top of her head and felt her smile against his chest.

"Lee?"

Her voice sounded slightly sad and lost, and Lee's mind immediately went to the haunted look that had started this whole wonderful encounter. He let his eyes drift open and twisted his head to look at her.

"How long did you tell Gaeta this would take?"

Lee weighed the words over his mind, trying to figure out where she was going with that question. "He said it could take anywhere from an hour to most of the afternoon. I told him that I would just give him the film tomorrow so that way he didn't have to go out of his way."

"So do you think…"

Lee could feel Kara's breath brush across his skin and was surprised to realize she was anxious about something. "Kara?"

"Do you think we can stay here for a bit?"

"Sure," Lee said with a nod. "I think you and I are entitled to play hooky every once in awhile."

Kara felt Lee begin to move and tighten her thighs to hold him in place. Lee's groan echoed off the walls, and Kara had to hold back a giggle. She had forgotten he was still inside her.

"Kara, you need to let me move if you want to get some rest."

She shifted to brush her lips against the sensitive skin behind his ear before purring, "I don't want you moving one inch, Lee Adama. I want you to stay right here like this."

Lee felt himself twitch to life even though he was pretty sure he was on his last leg. Kara always sucked the energy right out of him, and that was before they were intimate. "I'm not moving an inch," he whispered.

"Good." Kara sighed and let herself relax against him. It was only a few minutes before her breathing evened out. Lee didn't hold back the smile when she began to snore lightly.

Three weeks later, the calendar finally came out and with it a new round of rumors. Starbuck had been parading around the ship since the day of her photo shoot, and she had been very vocal about the fact that she had finally found someone who could make her feel well and truly fraked and not in a bad way. Seeing the picture of her plastered across the January page finally answered the question.

She was staring at the camera and even an idiot could see the look in her eyes meant something. Every cleverly concealed inch of skin radiated it. No doubt about it, Kara Thrace was in love. Someone had finally tamed the wild woman of the colonial Fleet.

Everyone knew that it would happen someday, but no one ever thought it would be Lieutenant Felix Gaeta.


	60. Fever

_The virus shifted into its final stage as the fever made his body begin to shake, and Lee stared through the glass wall of the containment cell, wishing he had told her how important she really was._

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo

They should have seen it coming. He was the Commander's son, one of the most powerful, influential people left in this world. The target on his back was as wide as the canyons on Tauron.

It started slow, like a nagging cold that just wouldn't go away. Cottle grounded him when he collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of a pilot briefing. He was put on an IV and expected to be at one hundred percent by the next morning.

In reality, it only took an hour for Lee to start declining. He lost his ability to keep any sort of food down around the same time that his ability to concentrate for more than a minute faded away. It wouldn't have been that odd if there was a fever present. There was no fever. His mind was simply checking out. Cottle suggested severe exhaustion and ordered him to stay in sickbay indefinitely.

His blood tests came back clean of all viruses known to the Twelve Colonies, but by that time, the rash had started. First it was a small red splotch on his stomach and then it moved up his torso onto his neck and down his arm. There had been a few jokes about colonial pox which Lee did not appreciate even in his inability to concentrate.

No one was worried until the day Sharon Valerii demanded a meeting with the Admiral. No one had told her about what was happening to Lee until Helo let it slip that morning. It didn't seem like something the Cylon needed to know.

Things happened fast after that. Lee was ushered off to a quarantine cell. He was moved by three medics wearing containment suits they had actually borrowed from the deck crew. They passed no one in the corridors, which was odd in itself. The fact that they had to walk past both the mess and the briefing room was what first made Lee realize that whatever was happening, it was big. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines, but none of the medics would answer him when he asked what the frak was happening.

It was Colonel Tigh who would explain to him the next day that he was the target of an attack from the Cylons. They somehow infected him with a virus. The Fleet had no idea how to treat it.

At least that's what he thought Tigh was saying. It was around that time that the headaches started so Lee had a hard time focusing on voices.

The rash went down within the day, and Cottle quickly explained it away as a symptom of the virus and not an actual sign. Lee was secretly grateful. The rash was what made it obvious that he was sick. Without it present, he figured he could start pretending everything was all right and maybe they would believe him.

Lee was never lonely. There was always someone there telling him how things were going. His father visited at least once an hour, which if he was a little more coherent would have worried Lee. Cottle stopped by every time there was a shift in his condition. The pilots liked to feed him gossip and tell him how horrible it was without him. He was pretty sure they were lying about that last part, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

There was one significant visit from Sharon. Lee hadn't realized the Cylons were capable of guilt until she came to talk to him. She kept saying over and over again that it didn't make sense. She wasn't the Sharon who had served under her. The first time they met, he held a gun to her face. She shouldn't feel guilty for not seeing this coming. It was in that moment that Lee realized what Helo had been trying to tell him for months. Things were complicated when it came to this Cylon model.

Lee found himself forgiving Sharon even though for the first time in his life, he wasn't blaming others for what happened to him. This virus was no one's fault except for the enemy they were fighting. It could have happened to anyone if they were as highly connected as Lee was. Frak, it could have been Helo or even Sharon herself in this predicament.

The process was slow as the virus took hold. Lee could feel the small, subtle steps towards the end, but he would never tell anyone. They all still had hope. He was Apollo, god of the sun. He was invincible in a way that no one else was. He had come back from the dead too many times to count. Though most of those times were because of…

The gods had done their fair share of watching over him throughout the years

His body held itself at a shaky but stable point for weeks. Cottle told him that his body was trying to fight off the virus. Lee knew better, but he kept quiet. His father started telling him how Dr. Baltar was working with the medic that had saved his life when Boomer shot him point blank. William Adama seemed to think that with those two brains on the job, they would find a way to beat this virus. Again, Lee kept quiet.

He started plummeting fast a few days earlier, and with that, he stopped staying silent. He asked for a pen and paper and wrote a list of names. These were the people he wanted to see before the end.

Some of the meetings were superficial. Some were meant to say goodbye. Some were meant to say carry on. They were all important to Lee in some way.

Colonel Tigh was the first. Lee had a feeling the aging man just wanted to get this over with. He could imagine the stress on the shoulders of his father's best friend right now. Lee kept it short. He told Saul that although they had never agreed, he trusted him to make sure his father stayed rational. He apologized for that day on Colonial One, the one they never talked about. He didn't say he was sorry for his actions, just that he wished things could have gone differently.

Tigh had told him he was a good soldier and, in the end, a good son.

Cally came along later that day with Helo beside her. Lee smiled. It was a image he wanted to remember. The deckhand with the small hands who cared for him too much but never said a word. Helo whispered something to her and then moved to the back of the room.

Lee's message was simple. He thanked her for being so meticulous with his bird, even in those first few days before the attack back when everyone thought he was an arrogant bastard. Cally stifled a giggle at his use of such colorful words, and Lee shut his eyes for a moment. It was another memory made.

Cally smiled and promised him that she would keep fighting. Then she did something completely odd. She glanced back at Helo and then took a few steps closer to the cell's wall. Her words were so soft that Lee swore not even a Cylon could hear them. "I'll watch over her Viper just like I watched over yours."

This was one of those moments that Lee never saw coming, the kind that ripped out his stomach and crumpled his heart.

Helo stepped forward when Cally left. He looked nervous. Lee started speaking immediately, not waiting for the superficial greetings or the expected silence. By the time he was done, Helo looked even more nervous. Obviously, he wasn't expecting Lee to tell him to fight for Sharon. He asked if delirium was part of the virus, and Lee laughed for the first time in days.

Kat was the most hesitant. It made sense considering she and Lee had never had much of a relationship outside the parameters of CAG and pilot. Lee started by telling her he wouldn't keep her for long, which earned him a roll of the eyes. It was that small gesture that told him he hadn't been wrong about Louanne Katraine.

His words were short and concise. His head hurt too much for him to do this tactfully. He told Kat that she was a good pilot, probably the best out of all the post-holocaust ones. He asked her to help keep the pilots in order for their new CAG. There wasn't a need for either one to say who that new CAG would be. Everyone knew. There was only one person who could replace Apollo.

The salute Kat gave him before leaving was another memory, another moment of joyful ache.

The exchange with Dee was short, mostly talk about regrets. They didn't come out and say it, but they both had an inkling of what might have happened if things were different. Then again, Lee had learned nothing was for certain. Dee gave him a sad smile before leaving, and Lee smiled back. Ana was going to be just fine.

The last person to see him was Laura Roslin, but he didn't mind. Honestly, Lee was just happy she could find an open time slot in her schedule to see him at all. It was only after she was gone that he got word that the President was supposed to be in negotiation talks with the crop ships currently demanding a larger say in the government.

Lee was only a few words into his message to Laura when his head started screaming with pain. He let himself indulge in the luxury of sitting down on the floor as the wave of nausea whipped through him. He had been trying so damn hard to pretend like he was going to be okay. He didn't want to shatter everyone's hopes. But if he couldn't let his weakness show in front of this woman who had so painfully gone through the end stages of cancer right in front of his eyes, the woman who chose to include him in the handful of people who knew about her illness before it became an issue, this woman who had treated him, respected him, like a son… if not her, then who?

When Laura didn't flinch, he knew that he had thought right.

She stayed composed the whole time he was speaking. The only sign she was struggling at all was the way her bottom lip started to tremble when he told her he would change nothing about the choices he had made.

It had been a long day of speaking from the heart, but Lee was grateful to have the chance. Most pilots were snuffed out before they could settle their affairs. He had managed to talk to every single person on his list before things got too bad.

His father came to speak with him in the middle of the night. Lee kept his eyes shut, feigning sleep as his father's gruff voice filled the quiet containment cell. Tigh had told him about the list. William Adama kept talking until the words caught in his throat. Lee could hear his sobs, muffled though they might be, and knew in that moment, his father had lost hope.

Lee hated himself. Even dying, he couldn't face his father being weak.

After his father left, Lee opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Every cell in his body was screaming for this to end. Cottle said these muscles spasms were normal for someone whose resistance was as worn down as his. Lee was pretty sure the Doc was just feeding him bullshit. No one had a clue what was happening to him.

His mind ran through each name on that list, hoping he could be distracted from the pain festering inside him. Each conversation was replayed, and Lee decided that he had talked to every person he needed to. There was a noticeable absence on that list, but in reality, it had never been an option.

Her name wasn't on the list for two reasons. She would never come even if he asked, and he knew his father enough to know that William Adama would take care of that part of his goodbye without him having to ask outright.

Lee heard a small movement on the other side of his cell and let his eyes slid shut for a moment. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this.

He kept his ears open for the sounds of her leaving. All he could hear was his heart pounding.

It took a few minutes for Lee to push the pain away enough to sit up. When he did, he saw her standing there in the middle of the room. She didn't look upset or hopeful or sad or confused. She simply was.

Lee staggered the few steps and leaned against the wall as the movements put a strain on his body. He could feel the change already, and he just knew. The virus shifted into its final stage as the fever made his body begin to shake, and Lee stared through the glass wall of the containment cell, wishing he had told her how important she really was.

"Kara." His voice was raspy from a few hours lack of use.

She shifted her gaze to the ground, and Lee wondered if she was regretting her decision. He shut his eyes and silently pleaded with the gods. For once, don't let her run.

Her eyes darted up to meet his, and she licked her lips. Lee watched as she tried to say something and then paused. Her body shifted slightly, but the room stayed silent. He could see her shoulders rise and fall with each breath. She was struggling.

Pain slammed into him, and it was too much for his already weak body. His body slid down the clear divide between them. Lee leaned his forehead against the cool glass. It felt like heaven on his fevered skin. He wished he could keep his eyes open, but it hurt too much.

A tiny voice in the back of his head screamed that he wasn't ready yet. He hadn't said goodbye to his father.

Lee felt a small shift in the air even though he knew it was impossible and forced his eyes open. Kara moved forward to stand in front of the glass. He stared up at her. He knew if he blinked, if he took his eyes off her for even a second, she would disappear.

Kara slowly slid down to kneel on the floor, and her hand moved to touch the glass where his hand was bracing his body from falling completely to the floor. He was weak for the first time in his life, and he hated that she had to see him this way.

"I can't even touch you."

Her words were gentle, but there was a hint of sorrow. Lee moved his attention away from her lips to see the tears pooling in her eyes.

"I don't know how to do this, Lee."

"Do what?" he whispered.

"Say goodbye." Kara's fingers moved against the glass, and Lee swore he could feel the shift of warmth.

He nodded in agreement. That was the third reason he didn't put her name on that list. He felt his eyes slid shut again. He was so tired.

"This isn't fair. You shouldn't be going out this way. It's too quiet, too… I don't know." Kara sniffled softly, and Lee opened his eyes to see tears running down her cheek. Gods, all he wanted to do was wipe them away. That's all he had ever wanted to do. "I've failed you, haven't I?"

"No." His voice was a whisper. It was all he could manage.

"Yes. Yes, I have, and I hate that. I hate that I have to sit back and watch you die knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. I can't save you no matter how hard I try, Lee, and it kills me. I'm Starbuck. I'm supposed to be better than that. I'm supposed to make the impossible possible, and yet I can't even figure out a way to save my best friend."

Lee listened as Kara's words faded into sobs. Opening his eyes, he felt his heart break in two. She was crying for him. This indestructible miracle of a woman was crying for _him_. He watched in wonder until her shoulders finally stopped shaking. She sniffed lightly and pushed the tears away from her face. When she finally looked up at him again, he smiled. "So I'm your best friend?"

Kara chuckled and leaned her forehead against the glass. Leave it to Lee to focus on that part of her outburst. Lee shifted his body a few inches even though it hurt more than he could imagine. "Take care of my father for me."

"No," Kara whispered, shaking her head. "We're not doing this."

"Kara."

"Lee."

She was pleading with him, and his heart wrenched from his body. He would save her this pain if he could. "He needs you, Kara. Please promise me that you'll be there."

Kara felt the tears threatening to fall again. "I promise."

"Good." Lee felt the pounding in his head intensify, and his vision went white. Sleep was nagging at the back of his head, only he had a bad feeling that that wasn't exactly it. He felt his hand slid away from the glass.

"Lee."

"I love you, Kara. I always have, and I always will."

"No. You cannot do this to me, Lee. You cannot do this."

Lee could hear her voice ringing in his head, but she sounded too far away. She was crying again. The glass was cold between them. "I'm… I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger."

"Please. Don't do this."

The shivering suddenly stopped, and Lee felt the pain suddenly melt away. The pressure was gone. The fever, the ache, the deep hurt in his heart, it was fading. "Love you."

Lee felt that familiar shift again and smiled.

"I love you, too."

Her words were the last thing he would remember.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo

In the morning, William Adama went to check on his son as he did every day. He found Kara leaning against the barrier of the containment cell, her hand pressed to the glass where his son rested, tears staining her cheek.

And he knew.


	61. Talk

_Everyone knew the best entertainment in the whole Fleet could not be found at the triad tables or at the latest gym sparring match; instead, it could be heard on a small comms channel when the CAG "accidentally" scheduled his CAP to coincide with the Fleet's best pilot._

Everyone knew the best entertainment in the whole Fleet could not be found at the triad tables or at the latest gym sparring match; instead, it could be heard on a small comms channel when the CAG "accidentally" scheduled his CAP to coincide with the Fleet's best pilot.

Sometimes they just talked about stupid things like how great it was to sit on the Academy common after passing another flight test or the best way to bluff your opponent to fold their hand. Their tone was always slightly serious even when they were laughing with one another.

Occasionally, Starbuck would get bored with the monotony of CAP and would start rating her fellow pilots on a scale of 1 to 10. Usually it was just their flying abilities that were put into question, but if Lee didn't start playing along after a few minutes, she would switch to a scale of frakability. The conversation always fizzled out when Lee asked Kara what his rating would be. She never answered. It was part of the game.

It was a Fleet-wide secret that everyone already knew the answer. Kara never gave anyone a ten on her little frakability scale, and it was painfully obvious that she was saving that number for a certain CAG.

One of the more entertaining days was after Starbuck returned from Caprica the first time. Somehow Lee coaxed an "I love you" out of her mouth, although everyone listening knew she didn't mean it like he was pretending she did. It was rather hard to convey complete and total embarrassment over a comm line, but Starbuck managed to do it. That night she gave Lee a black eye in the gym. The Fleet found that rather entertaining, too.

There were days where the comm lines were completely silent from the second Starbuck and Apollo launched. Those were the days that everyone switched from crowding around the comm radio in the briefing room and raced to the observation deck. The silence meant that something was wrong between the CAG and the lead pilot, and they always worked out their issues in the sky. Sometimes they got to see textbook maneuvers that no other pilot could pull off. Sometimes they just saw Starbuck do her best to ram the hell out of Lee's ship in a rather dangerous game of tag.

Every day turned into a new kind of chaos, and the pilots and crew found it nice to have something to rely on. The CAPs started becoming more spread out as the Fleet gained more resources and the two pilots took on more responsibilities. However, it always seemed that when things got a little too serious, the names Apollo and Starbuck somehow magically found their way to each other's side on the flight schedule.

Admiral Adama felt the drop in Fleet morale when he promoted his son to Commander of the Pegasus. He always considered it to be the sign that Lee had been a good CAG. It wasn't until he overheard Kat and Racetrack talking about how they missed the familiar taunts of the Starbuck/Apollo CAPs that he realized the problem was a lot deeper than he thought.

Things changed, though. They always did.

The Fleet got busy settling down on New Caprica, and then it all went to hell. There were separations and reunions, tragedies and triumphs, laughter and tears, as they fought to get back what they had willing given up. These were days that no one thought they would make it through, but somehow the Fleet persevered.

Then, like always, things changed. Underneath all the mourning and sadness of losing the Pegasus, there was a sense of anticipation. No one would address the issue because no one wanted to admit how appropriate it was to find the positive in losing so many lives. No one wanted to talk about the sudden hope that they were going to survive.

William Adama walked his ship every night that they were floating empty above New Caprica, every day they were waiting to return to their captive brethren, every evening where the Fleet was reunited but still not healed. He walked because his people needed to know that some things would not be allowed to change. They would not alter their ways because of fear that the next person they pass might be an enemy and not an ally.

On the exterior, Adama was a strong, stable figure. On the inside, he was worried that he didn't have the strength to move his people past the loss of those lives on New Caprica and the sacrifice of the Pegasus.

For weeks, that secret fear festered inside of him, slowly digging away at his belief that he had made the right choices. It weighed on his mind until the day he walked past the briefing room and heard laughter.

He entered the room to see a large group of pilots gathered around the far wall. "What's going on here?" he asked, his voice less gruff than normal. He didn't want to scare away this moment.

"Nothing, sir," Hot Dog said, snapping off a salute. "We're just listening to the CAP."

"Who's on?" Adama asked.

"The CAG and Starbuck, sir," Kat replied.

Adama heard the sound of Kara's teasing voice mixing in with his son's laughter and smiled. He listened for a few seconds before looking at his pilots. He gave them a quick nod. "Carry on."

The sounds of laughter followed him down the corridor.


	62. Stupidity

_Kara was left leaning against the counter in the head with bruised lips and a shivering body, wondering when her stupidity had gotten in the way of keeping Lee at arm's length._

Everyone thought that things were going to "get back to normal" now that they had lost the Pegasus. That was why when things went haywire, they were all taken by surprise.

There were too many cooks in the kitchen so to speak.

There were two Chiefs on the flight deck, which wouldn't have been a problem if only the pilots didn't answer to just one of them and that was the one that wasn't officially in power. For the first time, there weren't enough birds for pilots. The rest of the Fleet was trying their best to produce new ships, but it was going to take time to figure out how that could be done. There were people that had to relearn their jobs and people who had to learn to give up responsibilities.

The biggest mistake was in figuring out how to incorporate a Commander back into a battlestar that wasn't his. Lee had been probably the best CAG in most of the pilots' lives, but he wasn't the same Lee when he came back to them. Commanding Pegasus had changed the way he led. Lee had a hard time giving up the freedom to make decisions without having his authority checked by the two men above him on the power totem pole. It was hard to fall back into roles long outgrown.

Kara was the one to figure out the solution, but she hesitated to act on it. Things were tentative between her and pretty much everyone on Galactica. There was a lot of resentment still festering about because of her choice to give up the military and settle down on New Caprica. No one would ever admit to it, but she could feel it. She had been their CAG and then she deserted them. It was enough to make _her _resent herself.

The day she saw Lee struggling to stay awake over his deskload of work in a job they both knew he was struggling to remember how to do was the straw that finally pushed her to talk with the Old Man.

"Captain Thrace."

The words were calm and cool, and Kara knew without a doubt that she was in trouble. She rolled out from underneath the Viper and gave Lee what she hoped was a questioning look. "Is there something I can do for you, Commander?"

"I want a few minutes alone with you."

Kara tried to ignore the longing that hit the pit of her stomach. She hated that after everything they had been through, Lee could still make her feel like this.

As soon as he saw her give a quick nod, his hand was gripping her arm and he was dragging her down familiar corridors. They passed multiple equipment lockers and a few conference rooms that Kara was fairly positive were empty. She bit her tongue, though, knowing better than to question Lee's choices. He had a specific destination in mind.

"Clear out," Lee growled the second they were in the head.

Most pilots started moving immediately. The few that lingered started moving after Kara gave them a slight nod. They were survivors of the resistance. Old habits died hard.

"The room's clear," Kara said, leaning back against the counter the second she heard the hatch bang shut. She suddenly understood why they were here. The head had room to move, room to fight if necessary. It looks like some things _were_ getting back to normal. "What did you need to say to me?"

"My father called me into his office. Tigh's stepping down and he wants me to take on the XO position. You're set up to fill the opening for CAG." Lee watched her face for a moment, gauging her for a reaction, and wasn't surprised to see the same steel look in her eyes. "But of course you knew that." He paused to take a deep breath. "My only question is was this because you wanted the job or you thought I couldn't do it?"

"Lee," Kara warned, her jaw tightening. Did he actually think she was doing this out of spite or jealous? Had things really changed that much?

"Or is it just that you think I can't fly anymore? Because I can. I worked fraking hard with both Cottle and my father to prove that the injury to my shoulder didn't leave any permanent damage. I would have been right back in that cockpit after the incident on Cloud Nine if the Pegasus hadn't needed me to command."

"I never said you couldn't," Kara whispered, her eyes drifting to the floor. She could not believe that after all these months she and Lee still couldn't talk about what she did that day without the old feelings of guilt slamming back into her. She had shot him. It was an accident. A mistake that anyone else could have made. It shouldn't still hurt this much.

"Then why Kara? Why the frak did you have to take this away from me, too?"

Her eyes darted up as she heard the unspoken part of that question. "What else have I taken away from you?"

"A lot." Lee said. His face was a stone wall, and Kara knew that was all she was getting from him on that subject.

"I actually thought you'd be behind this one. Foolish of me, right?" She didn't give Lee a chance to agree. "I've seen the way you've been struggling, Lee. I don't think anyone has ever had to go from running a ship to only running a hundred pilots. Frankly, I don't think anyone should have to."

"I could have handled it."

"I'm sure you could, Lee, but we don't have time to wait it out. We need to keep as focused as we can if we're ever going to find the thirteenth colony, and we need our best people in the correct positions."

"And that would be you as CAG?"

"No. That would be you as XO. I'm just CAG because the only other option is Kat and I would rather die before I let her be my boss." Kara let out a sigh and pushed off the counter. "Saul hasn't been the same since Ellen was killed down on the planet. He's not back on the drink or anything that bad, but he's tired, Lee. He only came back because the Old Man needed him."

Lee shook his head. "I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you two are such good friends."

"Some mornings I can't believe it myself," Kara admitted. The voice in the back of her head, the same one that had defined her for so many years and had slowly faded away since her return to Galactica, was screaming that this was her out. She could steer the conversation away from what she had done. Kara sighed. She had worked really hard not to be that person anymore. "Seriously, though, it seemed like the best solution. As XO, you'll have more influence on the decisions being made. You'll be able to protect your people just like you had gotten used to on Pegasus except without all the bullshit of paperwork and stupid pilots fighting over idiotic things such as who gets to have the first drink off of Tyrol's new batch."

"I can see your point, but I find it hard to believe that you did this only for Tigh."

"I keep telling you that I did this for you, but you won't seem to listen," Kara pointed out. She could feel her frustration staring to bottle up and took a deep breath. "I talked with the Old Man, Lee. He's agreed to instate you as the XO, but you're still going to be allowed your turn at CAP. On most missions, if you're not required in the CIC, he wants you in the air."

Lee's eyebrow raised in question. "_He_ wants me in the air?"

Kara tried to fight back the voice that was screaming at her to stop being stupid, end this conversation and get the frak out of this empty head. She had said enough to convince him. She should just get out. Yet when she stepped forward a few feet to close the distance between herself and Lee, she wasn't surprised. "I've learned a lot since the Cylons' first attack. What I said to you that day in the pilots' break room still holds up, Lee." She saw his eyes flash cold with the memory of where that day had taken them and forged on. "We're not destined for bright, shiny futures, so we have to focus on the here and now. And right now, what I want is to have you as my wingman again. I want to feel safe again."

Something flashed across Lee's face for a brief second before he tucked it away. Kara watched him inch forward and felt herself shift back to compensate. Before she knew it, the counter poked into her back and Lee still didn't stop moving. She could feel his breath on the side of her neck and wondered what the frak he thought he was doing. His voice was a husky whisper, contrary to the icy tone he had used with her ever since the Pegasus was destroyed. "Does this mean I can finally take what I want?"

Kara didn't have time to ask him if he was talking about what she thought he was talking about. His lips latched on to the pulse point in her neck, and she felt her knees give out almost immediately. Her hands gripped the counter, and that still wouldn't have been enough to hold her up if his hands didn't take her momentary lapse of coherent thought as an opportunity to make themselves at home on her waist. She felt Lee grind his hips into hers. The gasp that fell from her mouth at the feel of him hard against her was choked back by his lips.

His tongue demanded entrance right away, and her body wasn't about to say no. She felt him push their kiss past the point of breaking and dug her nails into the counter. The back of her head slammed into the mirror with the force of their embrace. The pain faded quickly as Lee's hands slid up from her waist to cup her breasts through the thin material of her tanks. She felt his finger lightly brush her nipple and groaned against his mouth. His tongue darted out to muffle her moans. Kara could feel herself being pulled apart from a million directions.

Lee ran his fingers up underneath her shirt, and Kara gasped at the feel of the callused skin of his hand against her already sensitive breasts. His lips pulled away, and it took her a moment to realize he was whispering something in her ear.

"I'm tired of this dance, Kara." She twisted her head and saw the cold look in his eyes. It spoke volumes to what he meant. He was tired of having her let him in only to push him away a few seconds later. She had done it over and over again.

This time, he was the one doing the leaving.

Kara was still trying to figure out what was the right thing to say when Lee leaned in for another kiss. This time, he was gentler, less insistent and more tentative. His hands ran their way up and down her arms, warming her skin slowly as he moved his lips down her cheek to her neck. Kara found herself cradling Lee's head as he nibbled on her skin.

And then he was gone. Just as quickly as this whole thing started, it was over.

Kara was left leaning against the counter in the head with bruised lips and a shivering body, wondering when her stupidity had gotten in the way of keeping Lee at arm's length.

It took a handful of her nuggets wandering in through the open hatch to snap her out of her haze.

Not knowing what else to do, Kara went about with her day. She was the CAG now which meant settling in to a desk in the planning room and making sure the pilot schedule was updated in the briefing room. She knew Lee. He was going to give her this job by pushing her off a cliff and right into the thick of things. As much as he denied it, he was going to thrive in the XO position.

Kara stumbled through meeting after meeting to assert her new authority with the pilots and the crew. As much resentment as they showed towards her, the transition was easy. They disliked her as a person, but as a CAG and a leader, they would follow her.

When she made it back to the bunkroom, it was hours later and she was pretty sure she would okay with letting Kat have this stupid job. She had forgot how hard it was to be CAG when she was down on New Caprica leading a resistance movement. Things were easier when it was just black and white, kill or be killed.

Kara slid the zip on her sweatshirt down and took a look at herself in the locker mirror. Her hair was slicked back with sweat and what looked like a healthy amount of engine grease. Groaning, she grabbed a towel from the shelf in her locker. All she wanted to do was sleep, but she would get none of that with her bunkmates complaining about the smell radiating from her bunk.

The head was filled with the chaos that often followed a shift change, but for once, Kara didn't mind the company. It seemed like every time she shut her eyes that day, her mind drifted back to the way Lee had had her hands digging into that counter to try to stay in control as he finally took what she wanted. For all purposes, it appeared like he had meant the thing he wanted to be her, but she wasn't ready to let herself be that foolish.

A full head meant there were plenty of distractions to keep her thoughts on the task at hand. Hot Dog was bitching about a particularly bad landing his new wingman had had, and Kara found that the perfect remedy to forgetting how it felt to have Lee's hands on her body. Then Showboat started talking about her latest conquest in an obvious attempt to make Hot Dog uncomfortable, and Kara listened closely as she finished rinsing the shampoo from her hair. Just when Showboat was getting to the crescendo of her story, for those few, brief seconds, Kara let herself forget the look of pain that had been in Lee's eyes and the way he kissed her like it was the last time.

Kara waved off all the comments thrown her way as she exited the stalls and made her way back to the bunkroom. She wasn't in the mood to chat.

She was rifling through her locker for a pair of clean sweats when her eyes caught site of her neck in the mirror. Kara's eyes went wide as she leaned in to inspect the small purpling of skin. She could see small red lines jutting their way across the bruise and realized they were the marks Lee's teeth had left behind.

He had marked her.

His words played through her head. He said he was tired of this dance. Kara ran her fingers along the mark on her neck and sighed. She could still remember the way his touch had chased away reality. She had forgotten how much life sucked for a few moments. No one had ever managed to get her to do that before.

"You look exhausted."

Kara's eyes drifted away from the bruises in the mirror to look at the bunkroom behind her. "Have you seen Lee?" The words slipped from her mouth before she could even realize she was saying them. They seemed to take Helo by just as much surprise.

"I think he's off-ship right now. Why?"

"I need to talk to him." The second the words were out, Kara understood that this was what she was going to do all along. She hadn't been showering because the people in the bunkroom would complain. She didn't want to feel like a Viper engine when she had her next conversation with Lee. She hadn't been busy all day because she was suddenly CAG. She had been avoiding Lee so that he could settle down before she went to him.

"He's been promoted to XO, but I assume you know that already since you always know what's happening in the life of any man with the last name Adama." Helo shook his head with a sigh as he leaned against the bunk next to her. "The Old Man ordered him to help President Roslin now that she's been reinstated. She needs to settle back into Colonial One, and he figured it would help to have a familiar face considering most of her old staff died down on New Caprica. I think he's supposed to be back tomorrow, but… some… thing… tells me you're not going to wait that long."

Kara had started moving the second Helo said Lee was on Colonial One, and by the time he was done explaining, she was fully dressed in sweats. "Thanks, Karl," she whispered, leaning in to kiss his check before scooping up her boots. "I owe you one."

"You owe me twenty!" Helo yelled as the hatch slammed.

Kara barely registered his last comment. She was too focused on doing what she wanted for the first time in years. She wasn't sure what she had to say to Lee right now. All she knew was she had to say it. It couldn't wait.

"Chief, I need a Raptor," Kara yelled as she entered the hangar bay.

Most of the crew turned to watch her. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Starbuck to come onto the deck screaming, but she usually stuck with protocol. Right now, protocol would dictate her hunting down Hensley, the makeshift deck chief Lee had been using on Pegasus, and not shoving her way to stand in front of Galen Tyrol.

"Kara, I don't think I'm the one you need to be telling that," Tyrol whispered. He kept his eyes locked on the clipboard in his hands and hoped people would turn their attention away.

"Galen, I wouldn't ask you if I didn't need this. I have to get over to Colonial One tonight, and I would really appreciate it if I didn't have to jump through twenty million hoops to do it."

"I would love to help, but I'm not in a position. The Old Man and I have talked about this. Until Cally's settled in and until I can get a feel for this ship again, Hensley is in charge of the deck. Right now I'm just a crewman."

"Just a crewman who is currently running the graveyard shift. Come on, Galen. I wouldn't ask for this if I didn't need it."

Tyrol scanned the hangar bay before turning his head to look at Kara. "I can get you a Raptor for a few hours, but do not let me get caught doing this. Contrary to how I act, I would really like to get my Chief job back."

Kara fought back the urge to hug Tyrol but did manage to give his cheek a quick peck. "Which one?"

Tyrol pointed to the Raptor closest to the launch tube. "It's been down for repairs the past couple shifts, and I just finished with it an hour ago."

By the time the two ex-resistance leaders made their way over to the empty Raptor, Tyrol had flagged over a deckhand. "Bartlett, call the CIC and let the comms officer and the LSO know I'm launching a Raptor to see if the repairs are complete on it. The pilot's going to take it for a lengthy spin around the stars to be sure."

The young deckhand gave a quick nod and scurried off. Kara shook her head. "He must be new considering he didn't ask what the name of the pilot was or inquired why you weren't giving a definitive return time."

Tyrol nodded in agreement. "That's why I called Bartlett over specifically. The kid won't get reprimanded for the mistake, and no one should even notice. I'm signing off on it, and as we both know, my name still means something on this ship."

"And in the Fleet," Kara added absentmindedly. Galen Tyrol had risked a lot on New Caprica to get them free from the Cylons. That was something most people weren't about to forget.

A short time later, Kara was doing her best to sweet talk the crew on Colonial One to let her dock her Raptor. "I know that, according to Galactica's logs, I'm supposed to be testing the repairs on this ship, but I really need to speak to one of the men on board your ship right now."

"I'm sorry. I can't grant you access to the ship unless you have approval of both the Admiral and the President."

Kara bit her tongue to keep from losing her temper completely. "Listen. I don't have time to be fraking around her. I'm getting on that ship whether you approve me or not. It's just a matter of whether you want a big hole in your docking hatch or not."

"Wait a second. Is that you, Captain Thrace?"

"Yes, it's me," Kara replied slowly.

"It's Stiles, sir."

Kara racked her memory until the image of a young blond boy popped into her head. He was barely eighteen when he came to her and asked to help the resistance. She had given him the job of securing ammunitions for her soldiers. It was a safe job and kept him from doing something stupid like getting killed. "Working on Colonial One now, kid?"

"Yeah. The President's trying to restaff her ship, and she has a soft spot for any resistance vets. Gods, sir, if you had just told me it was you, I could have cleared you for docking right away."

"Is that so?"

"The President has you on a list of people that she would accept onto her ship without prior notification. You know, the usual suspects. The Colonel, the Admiral, the Commander, Chief Tyrol, Cally, all those people."

Kara nodded. It was smart of the President to make her people aware of what she liked to call the Inner Circle. They tended to do what they wanted in order to get the job done so unannounced visits were highly likely. "So I can dock, Stiles?"

"Sure. I can go wake the President up if you want."

"No," Kara cried. "I'm not coming on board to see the President. Do not wake her up."

"Then who do you want me to get?"

"No one. I know the ship. I can find what I need without your help."

"Are you sure?"

Kara rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm docking now, Stiles." She clicked off the comm channel and sighed. As annoying as Stiles could be sometimes, having him on the other end of that line made things a lot easier.

She stepped off the Raptor the second the ramp lowered onto Colonial One. Her eyes scanned the small hangar bay. There was barely anyone around. "Fraking graveyard shift, got to love it," Kara muttered.

Kara nodded to every person she passed and hoped to the gods that no one thought twice about seeing a pilot from Galactica wandering the corridors of Colonial One in sweats. She kept her pace slow and calm and yet she managed to reach her destination in record time. The esteemed guest chambers of the President were designed to be hard to fine, but she had found them. This was where Lee would be. Even if Roslin wasn't so fond of him, she would stick him here just to make the gesture for the Admiral. They needed to repair what Gaius Baltar had broken.

Kara knew she should be wondering if she was doing the right thing. She should be scared to knock on that door, not knowing what she wanted to say to Lee, not knowing why she was even here in the first place. She should be running over every reason why this was a crazy mistake.

She was none of those things.

Which was why her hand was steady when she knocked softly on the hatch. She heard a small crash followed by a few muffled swears and then the hatch was sliding open. Lee's eyes went wide when he realized it was not one of the President's staff. Kara used the opportunity to run her eyes over his body. He was dressed in only sweatpants, and he looked half-asleep and relaxed.

"Kara?" His face was wrinkled in confusion. "Wha-"

Her hands came up to rest on his chest as she took a step forward into his quarters. The words fell off her lips, and she knew that this was what she always intended to do when she decided to come over here in the middle of the night. "I'm tired, too."

Understanding flashed across Lee's face, and Kara took the opportunity to push the hatch shut with her feet. It beeped slightly as it automatically locked. "Got to love being the guest of honor," Kara whispered as she backed Lee across the room. The back of his knees connected with the bed, and Kara used the momentum to push them both down on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Lee asked.

Kara smiled as he so obviously fought to wake himself up the rest of the way. She had forgotten how fraking cute Lee could be when he was confused. "I'm tired of this dance, too, Lee. So let's stop it. Right now, you and me."

"Kara, we can't just jump into this without-"

She laid her fingers on his lips to quiet him. "We can and we are. We'll deal with the hard stuff later, Lee. I told you that right now all I want is to feel safe again. Being with you makes me feel safe." She waited a moment before sitting up. Her body shifted to straddle his waist as her hands lifted her sweatshirt over her head. It fell to the floor with a soft thump.

Knowing she was putting her heart out there for him to crush, she leaned her body down and kissed him. It was gentle, made to mirror the kiss he had left her with, the one that had thrown her off a lot more than the first kiss, the one that knocked her flat with desire.

Lee's response was tentative, almost as if he was afraid that she would pull away if he moved at all. Kara's mind went back to their earlier conversation. He was still afraid that she was going to run from him. "I came to you," she whispered, pulling herself a few inches from his touch. "I came here to Colonial One, Lee. I knew what I was doing. I'm… I'm not going to run. You have to believe me."

Their eyes stayed locked in a silent battle, a conversation where words were not needed, and Kara didn't even realize she won until she felt Lee's hands on the waistband of her sweats. They didn't break their gaze as he slowly worked the old cotton material off her hips.

Kara felt Lee's arm come across her waist once the sweats were thrown to the ground, and he smoothly twisted their bodies until she laid underneath him. His eyes never left hers which was why when he smiled, she felt her heart soar.

Lee leaned in to brush a kiss across her temple. "I want to make you feel safe."

"You do," she whispered, letting her hands run up the smooth muscle of his back. She turned her head to look at him, and the smile on his face lit up her eyes. They had a lot to work through, but she suddenly realized in the scope of what they had been through it was going to be a breeze. She really was tired of pretending like there were more pressing matters to attend to.

Nothing was more important than this.

Lee's hands were gentle as he slowly removed the last few bits of clothing on her body, and Kara had to fight the urge to keep the massive smile off her face. She really did feel safe when she was with him. No matter where they were, for years, Lee had been her home. She helped him rid himself of the sweatpants on his own body, and then they were lying skin to skin.

Their arms came around each other as their mouths dipped in to taste again. Kara sighed against his lips. This felt natural and comfortable and all those good things she had long lost hope she would have. Lee's hand came up to cup her breast, and a moan tumbled from her mouth as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. Her body started sliding up and down against his, an unconscious push for him to keep going. Lee licked his lips and bent his head down to taste her. This time, her moan was loud and came from somewhere deep inside her. Her hands cradled his head as he continued his slow exploration of her chest, switching smoothly from one breast to the other.

She was so wrapped up in the way he was playing her body like a finely tuned instrument that she didn't have time to prepare for his next move. Her breath caught in her throat as he slowly pushed himself deep inside her. Her brain was screaming for her to breathe, but her heart was louder, telling her to hold on tight and never let go of this man. His name fell like a whisper off her lips, and then he was moving inside her. "Oh gods."

Lee wrapped his arms around Kara and let her use her weight to push him down on the bed. She grabbed his shoulders tightly and pulled his chest up to meet hers, their bodies still joined. The small friction of the movement gave her the urge to lose all control, but she bit down hard on her lip and concentrated. Lee's hand roamed her back as she tightened her thighs and slowly began to work her hips up. She waited until he had almost completely slipped from her body before reversing her movement back down.

"You are killing me, Kara," Lee whispered in her ear.

She shushed him with a small nibble to his earlobe and kept up the slow plunging motions of hips to hips. She knew a thing or two about loving someone so much that it killed you, but she had made him promise they would do the hard stuff later.

Lee's motions which had started so smooth and confident soon became less composed. The movements were erratic as Kara felt his hands clamp down hard on her hips. She let him take over, moving her body against him. The little surrender of power was nothing in the large picture of life, but Kara knew that it meant a lot between the two of them. They both spent so long struggling to control feelings and actions and words.

His eyes came up to meet hers in a silent question… _how am I making you feel_… and she felt herself smile. "Protected. I feel protected," she panted as his motions quickened. "Oh gods, Lee." She felt herself teetering on the edge, and when his hands came down to touch where they were joined, she lost it completely. Her fingers dug into his back, and it was only a few seconds before she felt him coming against her.

Their bodies lost the built up tension immediately, and Kara felt Lee's hand guide her down onto the bed next to him. She waited until her breath returned before twisting to face him. "That is a dance I wouldn't mind keeping up," Kara whispered, laying her head next to his on the pillow.

"Agreed," Lee said with a laugh. He moved his arms around her body and pulled her the last couple inches until they were skin to skin once more.

The room filled with silence, and Kara could feel him drifting off to sleep. "Lee?"

"Hmp?"

"The hard stuff? It's not really going to be that hard, is it?"

Lee's eyes slid open, and she watched him watch her through the thin veil of sleepiness on his face. "The hardest part was you coming to me," he whispered. His hands tightened around her, and Kara smiled. She had been completely wrong to think it would be too hard to feel so much for this man and to let him love her in return.

It was so easy that it hurt.


	63. Waltz

_Lee jumped off the wing of the Viper and held his hand out for Kara to take, "I know traditionally I would have to wait until tomorrow night to ask you this, but can I dance with the bride?"_

"Is everything okay?"

Lee twisted his head to look at the woman lying beside him. "Everything's fine. Why do you ask?"

"You keep tossing and turning and sighing. It's the same thing you do every time something's bothering you," Dee explained, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Right," Lee whispered. He waited for his girlfriend to ask him again if something was bothering him, but the question never came. Instead, he listened as Dee's breathing evened out and she fell back asleep.

Lee let out a soft sigh and slid out of the bed. Dee didn't seem to notice. He picked a pair of BDUs off the floor and slid them on. If Dee was properly awake, she would know what was bothering him.

Taylor had the boards and would keep them for the next twenty-four hours. Lee wasn't entirely comfortable with surrendering his ship even if it was only for a little while, but his father made it clear. Even if he didn't have a personal stake in what was happening, propriety required the Commander of the Pegasus to attend the wedding of Galactica's CAG.

Lee slid on a couple tanks and a jacket before locating his boots near the desk in his office. When he stepped out into the corridor, he wasn't surprised to find it empty. It was the middle of the night, and right now, if you weren't on shift, you were resting up for the festivities the next day.

He did pass a few crewman eventually, but they didn't look twice. No one was ever surprised to see the Commander walking the corridors. It was what he did when he needed to clear his head.

Usually, Lee just did a few laps in the area surrounding his quarters and that was it, but this time he found himself taking the stairs down to the hangar bay. He stopped to chat with the deck chief for a few minutes and turned down the offer to help with the maintenance of the Vipers. That was another way he cleared his head, but he had a feeling it wouldn't work with this particular situation. Vipers were too close to the problem keeping him up tonight.

Lee's eyes fell on a Raptor on the other side of the hangar. "Is that from Galactica?"

"Yes, sir. When we ran into the Cylons a week back, it was damaged. Since we were closer than the Admiral, we picked up the ship and pilots. I just finished fixing it a few hours ago so it'll go back into their rotation as soon as I get someone to fly it over."

"I'll do it," Lee said before he could think better.

"You, sir?"

Lee nodded. "I can't sleep right now, and Major Taylor has the boards for the next day because of Starbuck's wedding. I might as well do something useful."

Laird nodded and gave his commander a salute. "I'll just let the LSO and the tactical officer know that the Raptor's launching."

Lee settled into the pilot's chair of the Raptor and started stretching out his shoulder. The old gunshot wound always tensed up during the first few minutes of flight. It hurt a little less when he tried a pre-emptive strike of pain reduction.

Twenty minutes later, he was stepping off the ramp of the Raptor and onto the ship that held his heart in more ways than one. The Pegasus was his girl, but it still felt like Galactica was his home.

Lee talked to one of the deckhands since Tyrol wasn't on the graveyard shift and then he found himself alone. He had forgotten how eerie this place could be when no one was around. Lee let himself wander between the ships, taking notice of all the dings and scars that he hadn't been around to witness. It was hard to grasp all the small things happening on this ship that he was no longer apart of, but he had to. Galactica wasn't his responsibility anymore.

"You're a little early, Commander."

Her voice taunted him from somewhere above, and Lee's eyes snapped up to see her sitting on the wing of a Viper. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was _her_ Viper. "You're up late, Captain? Shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep?"

Kara smirked. "I don't think a few extra hours are going to help that much."

The words faded away from their lips, but the smiles stayed in place as they continued to stare at one another. Lee found himself wondering when something so simple had gotten so complex.

"People are going to get the wrong idea," Lee said after the silence got to be too heavy.

"Why? We're in a public place and you supposed to be over here in the morning anyone?"

Lee shook his head. "I wasn't talking about the fact that we're together."

"Then what we're you talking about?"

"You are sitting by your lonesome on the wing of your Viper on the eve… no… the _morning _of your wedding."

Kara reached out and patted the metal next to her. "Well, then hop up here and it won't look so strange."

Lee was about to tell her just how much worse things would get if he followed her suggestion when something flashed across his face. Not knowing what it was but knowing that something was wrong, he walked up the docking ladder and took hold of the Viper wing. His muscles strained with the burden of hefting himself up onto the ship. He hadn't done this in years.

Kara let him settle in next to her before asking, "Isn't this great?"

Lee let his eyes sweep across the hangar bay. There was little motion for the first time in what was probably a long while. A kind of quiet peace mingled in with the cold and sturdy feeling of the metal beneath him. "It's beyond great," Lee whispered.

Lee let himself study the woman beside him out of the corner of his eye. She had forgone the usual double tanks for a t-shirt, but the sweats were the same ones he had seen her in every day since the initial attacks. Her bare feet were dangling over the edge of the ship. She looked tired. "Aren't you tired?"

"Exhausted," Kara said, sighing softly, "but that doesn't mean I go to sleep when I shut my eyes."

Lee nodded in understanding. It was odd how you didn't realize how amazing a solid night of sleep could be until it was taken away. Before the attacks, he barely had to lay in his bunk a minute before drifting off. He missed those nights.

Now all he seemed to do was stare up at the metal of the bunk above him, or ceiling of his personal quarters as it was these days. There were too many plans and schedules to make for the next day, too many possible ways that he could lose his people to this fight.

Dee never seemed to have that problem. He knew that any other man would find that irritating, but he didn't. Instead he found the small detail that she barely noticed his fitful rest the worst part of it. He tossed and turned, spent hours staring into empty space, and the woman he spent every night laying next to never said a word.

Lee shook his head. That wasn't entirely true. Every once in awhile, she surprised him by asking what was bothering him. In fact, she had done that only a few hours earlier. So that obviously wasn't what was really bothering.

What was bothering him was he always said it was nothing and she always believed him. There was something not right about that.

Dee had been hinting at marriage ever since she found out about Kara's upcoming nuptials. She said that Kara and Sam opened her eyes to the fact that permanent bonds were finally an option, but Lee knew better. Dee had a not-so-irrational fear that Lee was holding back from her because of Kara. Lee had told her she was crazy every single time she brought the subject up, but it often wasn't enough. The small hesitance in his voice gave away the real answer.

He knew that he shouldn't be afraid of taking this step with Dee. She had been good to him, good for him, for many months now. Granted, their relationship hadn't started out on the best terms, but when he stopped to take a good look, he found most of the relationships surrounding him started in the same way. This was a unique time they were living in.

"Lee?" Kara's voice broke him away from his thoughts. She waited until he looked over at her before continuing, "We used to be friends once, didn't we?"

Her question threw him off completely. All he could do was nod.

"I mean, I know things haven't been good between us in a long while, but we're still us. Underneath the harsh words and fists, we're still us."

Lee slid his hand across the smooth metal of the Viper until it was laying on top of hers. "What's wrong, Kara?"

"I…" Kara's words caught in her throat, and Lee felt his stomach clench with worry. Whatever this was, it was bad.

Kara turned her hand over to slide her fingers into his. "I don't know if I'm making the right choice, Lee."

Lee bit on his bottom lip to keep himself from responding. He was afraid of what would come out of his mouth if he did.

"Sam makes me happy, Lee, but I can't help wondering if I'm using him. He's been good to me for well over six months now, and I know that it's not a fluke. He's a good man." She paused, and Lee squeezed her hand lightly to let her know he was listening. "I haven't opened up to him. You know firsthand how hard it is to get me to talk about myself. That's why at first it didn't bother me. Then the days started piling up. I mean, frak, Lee! I'm marrying the man in the morning, and he doesn't know about Zak."

Lee's eyes went wide. "You never mentioned it?"

"He knows about Zak," Kara corrected. "He knows the Admiral's youngest son was my fiance, and he knows he died. He just doesn't know about my part in it."

"You didn't tell me for years," Lee pointed out.

"You were Zak's brother, Lee. I had every reason not to want to tell you. What reason do I have for not telling Sam?" Kara shook her head, not waiting for his answer. "And it's not just that. There are other things that I haven't told him."

The weight of her words mixed with the small tingle of curiosity at the back of his head. A rare silence filled the hangar bay.

"Gods, Lee, why did I ever think I could do this?"

"Do you love him?" He could feel Kara's body tense, and he turned to look at her. She was nibbling on her bottom lip just like she did when she was nervous. Her eyes were centered on the metal floor below them, but every few seconds, they darted over to look at him. He tightened his hand around hers. "Kara? Do you love him?"

"I…" Her voice faded as she pulled her hand away.

Lee nodded. He didn't need to hear her answer. He knew a thing or two about the convenience of keeping someone who loved you close even when you weren't sure. The words fell from his lips even though his heart wasn't behind them. "It's okay, Kara."

"Is it?" Kara said, twisting to face him. "I mean, really, Lee, is it okay that I'm not sure I love this man I'm going to be marrying in a matter of hours?"

"You said you were happy," Lee pointed out.

Kara kept her eyes locked with his. and for the first time in a long while, she dropped her mask. "I lied." She could feel Lee's eyes on her and wondered if she had finally pushed things so far that now even the invincible Starbuck could fix them. Her eyes dropped to her lap, and she stared at her hands as the guilt kicked in. "Say something," she whispered.

He hesitated only a moment, and in that moment, Kara could feel her heart crumble.

Her mother was right. She fraked up everything she touched.

Lee jumped off the wing of the Viper and held his hand out for Kara to take, "I know traditionally I would have to wait until tomorrow night to ask you this, but can I dance with the bride?"

Kara regarded him for a second before that familiar tingle of trust warmed her body. She took his hand and let her body slid off the plane. It was a bit of a surprise when she felt his arms shift to hold her. "You're serious?"

"I want my obligatory dance," Lee teased, already moving their bodies to a silent rhythm.

Kara wanted to tell Lee that she would never force him into dancing with her at her wedding. Hell, she had told the Old Man that he should do his best to keep Lee from even _coming_. It would have broken the last bits of her heart to know that he disapproved of her desire to be happy for once, but she was used to the heartache.

Yet here he was. She knew this wasn't easy for him, but he was still going to show up.

Their bodies continued softly swaying for a few minutes until Lee pulled away from her. Kara watched him stare down at his feet and then his eyes flicked up and locked with hers. "Don't do it, Kara."

"Lee…"

"Don't marry him."

"And why would I want to do that? Sam is offering me a chance at a future."

"You already have a future," Lee insisted.

Kara shook her head. "There's going to be absolutely no need for Viper pilots within the next few months. Baltar's dead set on making our kind obsolete."

"That wasn't what I was talking about."

Kara cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you offering me a reason to stay that's better than flying?"

"I hope so."

She held his eyes for a moment before shaking her head. "Stop playing around, Lee."

His hand grabbed her arm as she turned to walk away. "I'm not playing."

Kara's eyes went wide. "You're seriously asking me to cancel this wedding?"

Lee nodded. "You're not happy."

"And upsetting everyone I care about by calling off the ceremony would make me happy?"

"Not one person would be upset with you if you chose not to go through with this."

"I think Sam would," Kara pointed out.

"He'll get over it."

Kara shook her head, but she let Lee's hands drift down to pull her into another dance. She wasn't saying yes right now, but she wasn't saying no. She just wanted her obligatory dance just like Lee.


	64. Ghost

_Lee had a nasty habit of coming back from the dead and scaring the shit out of her._

oooooooOOOOOOOooooooo

William Adama wished he could keep his son's final decision as Commander of the Pegasus hidden from the pilots, but he knew he had no right. The two remaining base stars were engaged in a desperate struggle with the Pegasus as it moved to shield Galactica and the civilian Fleet from the brunt of the attack so the pilots would be in the air when the explosion occurred. There had already been too many unexpected losses. He owed his men the chance to understand the sacrifice that was about to be made.

"Patch me into all active fighters," he called out. He watched Gaeta pause a few seconds before nodding. It was good to have the Lieutenant back on board. He needed someone who wouldn't question his motives especially at a moment like this.

"Channel's open, sir."

Adama braced his hands on the command center and tried to come up with the right words to say in a situation like this. How do you tell your men that you want them to stand down as your son sacrifices himself for their safety? When Adama realized he would never find the words, he sighed and, temporarily pushing the pain and grief away, picked up the handset.

"This is Galactica Actual. There has been a change to the mission plan. _All_ fighters are to return to Galactica as soon as the last two basestars are taken out."

He got a response from the Pegasus CAG immediately. "Galactica, Showboat. Did you say all fighters? Even the ones from Pegasus?"

"Affirmative. Every ship is to report to Galactica."

The comm lines filled with protests that Adama could only assume were from the more senior pilots, the ones who understood what it meant to have all the ships returning to one battlestar. The younger fighters stayed silent.

Adama shut his mind to the chaos of too many pilots with too many personal connections. No one wanted to be talked out of making this decision to stand down more than he did, but it just wasn't possible.

A scream filled the CIC and made Adama's body stiffen. "Clean out the comm line! We are still fraking fighting here, people!"

His heart dropped out at the sound of Kara's voice. He hadn't expected a reaction from her, but it still hurt to hear that damn brave façade over the comm line. She was probably one of the few people who truly understood what was about to happen. She was the only one who had a real right to protest, and yet she was the one with her head still in the game. It saddened Adama to understand that this was probably just another loss she would have to pull herself through. There had been so many already.

Adama tried to push the concern and stinging grief to the side and listen as his CIC reported Pegasus's continued movement towards the basestar. There was no way out of this.

"Admiral, there's a request for a private line for you from one of the pilots."

"Who is it?"

"Starbuck, sir."

Adama picked up the handset immediately. Of course she would want to do this in private. Kara was nothing but smart when it came to tactical questioning of his authority. "Galactica Actual on the line." He could hear her breathing on the other end, but she didn't talk at first. He figured she was waiting for him to explain. He wasn't sure how to begin so he just said what he thought was most important for her to know. "Pegasus isn't going to make it. It was Lee's choice to do this."

"Is he… can he find a way off the ship before…"

"No, Kara."

The silence hung between them until Adama heard the line cut off. He slammed the handset down and turned to the comm officer. "Why did I just lose her?"

"You didn't, sir," the officer explained. "She cut off the call."

Before Adama could figure out why she would do that, Gaeta stood up. "Sir, the Pegasus has just rammed itself into the larger basestar. It appears like both ships are in flames."

"And the smaller basestar?"

Gaeta turned back to his DRADIS screen. "It was taken out by the blast most likely. We'll have confirmation in a few seconds."

Adama waited until he got the affirmative nod from his tactical officer. "Is the air clear, Lieutenant?"

"Except for a few leftover Raiders."

Adama grabbed the handset for the main comm line. "Gold squadron, clean up the skies. Everyone else, combat landings now." That would put all of Pegasus's Vipers and Raptors out of the action and most of Galactica, too. More importantly, it would get Starbuck out of the air. He knew that her denial of what happened would only last for a few minutes. He hoped that was long enough for her to make a safe landing.

"I'll take the boards." Adama turned to see Colonel Tigh standing beside him. The XO shook his head and leaned in close. "I can handle the clean-up, Bill. You shouldn't be here for that." Tigh paused before adding, "And you should be there for the Captain when she lands."

Adama nodded. Everyone had doubted his choice of XO since the first moment he made it, but they didn't know Saul Tigh. He might drink to excess and carry grudges, but he was damn perceptive and could handle the command when he was needed. "The Colonel has the board," Adama called out, looking around at his men before stepping away from his post.

It was only when he hit the corridor that reality slammed into him.

The Cylons had just taken his son.

oooooooOOOOOOOooooooo

Kara didn't realize she had been sitting in the observation deck for over two hours. Time had lost its hold on her. It all blurred together.

William Adama had been waiting for her when she exited her Viper. There was such a pure expression of grief and pain on his face that Kara knew she would never forget it. A part of her wanted to ask him why even though there was no way he could explain it all to her. A part of her knew that he was desperate to fill her in. A part of her wanted to help shoulder the decision and accept the grief.

She knew she wasn't ready for any of that.

She wanted to be strong when she finally heard the whole story as to why the Fleet was suddenly down to one battlestar, and right now that wasn't possible. Right now strength and duty were the last things on her mind. She pushed off the Admiral's concerns and promised to come see him in the morning. They could talk then.

Adama knew better, but still he let her go.

The corridors blended into the haze that was enveloping her mind. There was a faint buzz in her ears while condolences and questions were fired her way, but she couldn't focus enough to respond. She knew that everyone expected a reaction from her, but she just didn't have the strength to give it to them.

She wasn't sure how or why she ended up locking herself into the observation deck, but it was the only thing she could think of to do. She needed the quiet.

The quiet had been going on for two hours now and yet it didn't silence the pain. Kara brushed the back of her hand across her face, pushing the tears away. They wouldn't stop falling.

She had been staring at the combat wreckage from the moment she sat down in the front row of chairs. It wasn't changing. No matter how hard she willed it to, there were two lifeless hunks of metal floating before her eyes. One was the enemy. The other was the home of one of the most important men in her life, a man she loved without thought or reason most days.

Every few seconds there was a flash of light as a Raptor flew past, scouring the space for any signs of survivors. She only jumped the first few times it slipped past the large glass window. Now it was just a mandatory routine. It had to be done.

Kara kept reminding herself of that little detail. _It had to be done_. She forced herself not to buy into some ridiculous hope that there was a reason they were searching. There was little chance that anyone made it off Pegasus, and those that did were the ones that intended to.

As much as he confused the hell out of her most days, she knew the kind of man Lee was. He would have refused to abandon his ship and his men. He never shrugged away from responsibility even if it meant risking his life. He just wanted to keep others safe.

Gods, for once she wished he had been selfish. She didn't want him to be gone.

Their relationship had never been easy. If it had been, they wouldn't be them. The conflict was what made them strong. She had lived one full year on Caprica without that daily source of conflict, and she had almost lost it completely. She needed someone to point out when or who she was fraking up and why she should not be doing what she's doing.

That year without Lee had hurt more than she would ever admit. Coming home to him had hurt even more. The conflict slammed into her like a brick wall, but this time she welcomed the pain. They were working through it like always, and Kara figured in time they would find the solution. There was a confidence in that decision that she had never felt. The Cylons tried to pull them apart, but they weren't budging anymore.

Kara shook her head. It turned out she was wrong. The Cylons pulled them apart in the only way they could. They took him away from her completely.

Kara didn't know who was going to keep her in check anymore.

A voice came over the ship comm system to announce the changing of shifts, and Kara snapped back to reality. She had reports to write. She had to close the personnel files of the pilots who had been lost in the battle and needed to assess where they should put replacements. The Chief would be sending up the numbers on how many functional ships had made it through the battle. Not to mention the fact that two battlestars worth of fighters needed to be merged into one. She was going to have to start working up a new flight schedule and a way to keep things fair between everyone involved.

This time, eyes were averted when she walked through the corridors. They must have noticed the tear stains on her cheeks.

Her office was dark when she finally reached it. Someone obviously shut off the lights, figuring tonight would be the last night the CAG would feel the need to do paperwork. Responsibilities didn't disappear with the pain, though, so she was here.

Her hand moved out to flip the light switch. The intrusive, bright light caused her bloodshot eyes to slam shut. She stumbled a few steps into the office before she realized she wasn't alone.

He was sitting in the chair behind her desk, his skin matted with dirt and grime from the battle, his dress blues ripped and tattered. His eyes were closed and yet he looked for all the world like he belonged exactly where he was and nowhere else.

She wondered for a moment if she was hallucinating, but then his eyes slid open and he smiled. It felt familiar. Lee had a nasty habit of coming back from the dead and scaring the shit out of her.

It took Kara a moment to remember she had to breathe, but when she did, everything came slamming back down on her. She practically vaulted across the desk and into his arms. His laughter mixed in with her tears as she clung to him. "I thought you were dead," she whispered, still clutching on to him.

"I thought I was dead, too."

Kara pulled back to examine him, and her fingers brushed against the cut on his forehead. "What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. It all went so fast. One second I was talking with my father, telling him that the only way we could survive was to sacrifice Pegasus. And then my XO was volunteering to lead the ship in its final attack. I wasn't going to leave, but Taylor reminded me that I had family here on Galactica who needed me. The thought of you and Dad mourning my death was enough to distract me so that the Marines could haul me down to the evacuation pods. I don't really remember much after that until a Raptor picked us up. I think I might have punched a few of my crew in my efforts to not abandon ship." Lee smirked. "I guess I should have spent less time being mad at you when we sparred and more time actually figuring out how you managed to throw such an effective right hook."

Kara reached out to touch his left cheek and smiled. She was going to bruise that spot for years to come.

"I'm glad the Fleet didn't jump away after the Pegasus went down."

"You can thank Tigh for that. He had the boards and insisted that we pick up any survivors. I think he was remembering the hundreds of people we were forced to leave behind on New Caprica. He didn't want to do that again." Kara leaned in to hug Lee again before pulling back. "Gods. I can just imagine the Old Man's face when he found out you were alive." She smiled as the image of how happy and grateful William Adama must have looked popped into her head. The amusement drained away as she saw Lee's face go white. "Lee? Is something wrong? Do you want me to get Cottle?"

He shook his head, but the look of worry didn't leave him. "I came straight here as soon as the Raptor landed. Gods, I didn't even think to send word to my father that I was on board."

Kara ignored the twinge of delight at being the first person Lee thought to track down and reached across the desk to grab the phone. She couldn't let Lee do this to his father again. "I need you to page the Commander to the CAG's office as soon as possible. If he calls the CIC to find out why, tell him that I want to talk about why I was so upset. That'll get him down here."

She set the phone down after hearing the comms officer agree to place the page. Still unsure if this was actually happening or not, she let herself relax back into Lee's arms. If this wasn't real, she didn't care.

After enjoying the feel of Kara's weight for a few moments, Lee asked, "So you were upset about something?"

"You were dead," Kara whispered. "That kind of thing can throw a girl for a loop."

"Not the irrational, ass-kicking, name-taking, foulmouthed Starbuck?"

Kara smiled and shook her head. "No, she was just fine with you being dead. It was Kara that was kind of upset."

"Well, I would imagine she would be." Kara felt Lee's arms tighten around her, and she let her head rest against his shoulder as the quiet of her office enveloped them.

That was the way William Adama found his two children when he finally made his way down to the CAG's office.


	65. Fire

_The fire started in Launch Tube C as Kara was landing her Viper, and she would have been scared it would consume her if she hadn't heard Lee's voice over the comm saying he would be there as fast as humanly possible._

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

The fire started in Launch Tube C as Kara was landing her Viper, and she would have been scared it would consume her if she hadn't heard Lee's voice over the comm saying he would be there as fast as humanly possible.

The last thing she remembered doing before the smoke finally got into her lungs was calling his name frantically.

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

Kara felt her eyes open slowly and wondered why it hurt so much to do so little. She was staring up at a familiar patch of grey tiles. It took her a moment to put two and two together. She was in sickbay. Groaning, she shifted in the bed and was pleased to feel all the necessary appendages in their proper places. It had been one hell of a crash. Her hands came up to slip the oxygen mask off her face.

"Lieutenant, you cannot be doing that."

Kara glanced over to see a med tech looking like they wanted to be anywhere but here. "Frak off," she growled, her voice choppy from lack of use. "And get me Cottle while you're doing it."

"Never mind. I'm already here," Cottle grumbled, stepping into the curtained off area. "So you're awake?"

"What's wrong with me?" Kara asked outright. She didn't want to sit here through the pleasantries only to find out she was never going to fly again.

"You inhaled a lot of smoke in that cockpit, hence the oxygen mask, but luckily the cockpit shield and your flight suit kept the fire from getting to you. A day or so in here filtering that smoke out and you'll be good to go, Lieutenant."

A small feeling that Cottle wasn't telling her everything nagged at the back of her mind. "I can fly?"

"You can fly. We just need to get you rested, and I have half a mind the real reasons for _that _have nothing to do with your accident. You pilots run yourselves into the ground, and then you expect me to pick you up."

Kara felt a sense of relief wash over her. If Cottle was being cranky with her, that really did mean things were okay.

"You need to get some more rest before the whole fraking ship figures out you're awake and decides to crowd up my sickbay," Cottle growled. "All our beds are full right now. I don't need your social life keeping my people from doing their jobs." He gave Kara one last meaningful look and then moved on to his next task.

Kara stuck her tongue out at the space the doctor had just been in. It wasn't like she _intended _to ignore Cottle's instructions. She just got bored easily. Shutting her eyes, Kara tried as hard as she could to go back to sleep.

One minute later, she was groaning as her eyes popped open. She really hated this place. It was too quiet.

Her eyes drifted to the closed curtain next to her. Cottle had said she needed to rest. He didn't say she needed to rest _in bed_. Kara pushed herself to her feet and ignored the small pang of muscles tight from lack of use. The sickbay was a little on the hectic side as always. Kara's eye drifted around the room, settling on a few familiar faces. It looked like Cottle was right. This place was overflowing with people in need of some sort of healing.

Kara started shuffling out of her little space and hoped she was being discrete. Cottle would kill her for being out of bed. She made it only a few feet to the curtained area next to her when her breath caught in her throat. Obviously he wasn't lying when he said she still needed that damn oxygen.

Her hand came up to touch the wall, and she was about to turn around when a voice called out to her. "Lieutenant Thrace, you can't go in there."

For a second, she forgot that she was struggling and turned to the med tech from before. "Excuse me."

"I have express instructions not to let you disturb him."

"Who?" Kara said. She watched the tech's eyes go wide as he realized he had already said to much. "Frak that," she hissed, pushing back the curtain. No one told Kara Thrace what not to do.

Kara's heart stopped as soon as she figured out why she had been forbidden from this area. The man on the bed had bandages completely encasing his head and running down his chest to cover his left hand. There wasn't a lot to identify the man by, but it didn't matter. Kara would know him anywhere.

His name slipped from her lips as she felt the whole world go black.

"Lee."

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo

Kara felt the pressure on her hand before she opened her eyes to see someone sitting at her bedside. William Adama squeezed her hand and smiled. With that small gesture, reality hit home. "What happened?" Kara mumbled. She had no idea why she was go groggy.

"You passed out for a few minutes, Kara. When you awoke, you were rather hysterical. Doc Cottle had to sedate you."

Kara shook her head. "Not that. What happened to _him_?"

Adama sighed. "I was the one that told them to keep you from seeing. I thought it would be easier if you heard about it before you saw him. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, sir," Kara said, tightening her hand in his. "Just tell me. Did that happen because of me?" The look of sadness in his eyes was answer enough. "Right."

"He was the first one to enter that launch tube, and he wouldn't let anyone stop him. They kept telling him that the fire had to die down before they had any chance of getting you, but he didn't listen. The Chief told me he kept yelling that you were depending on him."

"I was," Kara said quietly.

"He got burned pretty badly, but he got the cockpit hatch open. Cottle said if he hadn't pulled you out so quick, you would have lost too much oxygen to come back to us.'

Kara felt the tears coming to her eyes as the drug-induced haze slid away. She was starting to feel her heart break all over again. "I'm not worth it."

"My son would beg to differ. He kept fading in and out of consciousness until Cottle was able to tell him you would be fine. Since then, he's been sleeping peacefully. They say that's the best thing if he's going to get past the burns."

"How bad are they?"

"He's going to have scarring on his face, chest, and arm. Cottle seems to think as long as he maintains sensitivity in his hand, though, he'll keep on flying."

"Oh gods," Kara said, feeling the tears come to her eyes. She hadn't even thought about the possibility that Lee might never fly again. This was all her fault.

"Don't," Adama whispered. "Do not do this to yourself, Kara. We both know Lee. Sometime his actions might be based on what he thinks is the right thing to do, but he never… _never…_ does anything that he does not _want _to do. Few things in life mean the world to Lee, but you're one of them, Kara. He didn't hesitate when it came to protecting that. He's alive. You're alive. That's all the matters."

"But, sir-"

Adama shook his head, cutting her off before she could start. "I won't hear it, Lieutenant. You may have a right to feel guilt over this but not yet. Let's find out how bad this is before we let ourselves drown."

Kara felt his words cutting through her need to torture herself and even managed a smile when he stood up and brushed a kiss across her forehead. "Thank you, sir."

"Cottle's only let me visit Lee so far, but I'll let him know that you're to be added to the list. Let my son know that what he did was worth it." Adama leaned into give her another kiss and then shut the curtain behind himself.

Kara managed to hold in her tears until she was sure the Old Man was out of hearing distance. She bit down hard on her fisted hand to keep from crying out and just let the tears stain her face.

It took well over an hour to finally get a hold of herself. The tears just wouldn't stop coming down.

Luckily, though, she was in control when Cottle decided to check up on her. If he knew she had been practically hysterical only a few minutes earlier, he never would have given her permission to walk around the sickbay.

Kara was hesitant at first on how far she pushed it. She knew that Cottle really only meant for her to walk the area around her bed. They didn't know if the smoke had gotten out of her lungs completely yet so it wouldn't be wise to get too far from the oxygen mask. Kara saw the logic in this which is why she walked around the room for well over an hour before stepping outside her curtained in area.

She stuck to the wall and just observed what was happening in sickbay for a little bit. A lot of people had received minor injuries from the accident in the launch tube, which was why it was so crowded. It had cleared out a great deal while she was being sedated.

After a few minutes, her eyes drifted to the area she had been forbidden to enter before. The curtain was pulled halfway open, and as much as she knew it would hurt, she took a few steps closer. She was almost there when a couple nurses pushed past her and entered the curtained area. Kara hung back behind the curtain and listened to the nurses complain about having to change the bandages on the patient so often.

Kara saw one nurse nod to the other. "The wound looks like it's healing cleanly. Cottle will be happy."

The nurses shifted their position as they went to grab more gauze and wrappings, and Kara's eyes went wide with her first glimpse of Lee's injuries. There was a noticeable line of blisters and uneven skin along Lee's left cheek. It continued down his neck to cover his shoulder and a third of his chest. His hands were still bandaged so she couldn't see if the burns were worse there.

"It's a shame really." The nurse's words tore Kara's attention away from Lee. "The Commander's son was one of the last really attractive men. Everyone keeps saying how sad it is that he might have lost his flight career, but I say it's sad that he's lost his appeal. The poor man is going to be fighting a hard case of the lonelies when he's finally on his feet again."

Kara felt the color drain from her face as she saw the other nurse nod in agreement. For the first time since she woke up, she felt the familiar tingle of anger in the pit of her stomach. She ignored the fact that the act of breathing was starting to hurt and stepped into the curtained area. "Get out."

"Excuse me?" one of the nurses said, narrowing her eyes.

"I said get the frak out of here right now," Kara screamed. "Get out."

"Sir, this patient needs to be bandaged."

"Then leave the fraking bandages," Kara hissed, "but take your sorry asses out of her right now before I really get mad."

The nurses exchanged looks, and Kara could tell they were remembering all the rumors they heard about the brash lead pilot. They knew her threats weren't empty. "And get me Cottle," Kara growled once they were moving out into the main area.

She shuffled over to the bed and took a seat on the edge. The fire slowly drained from her. She stared at Lee for a few minutes before her trembling hand came out to pick up the bandages. Laying pads of gauze onto his wounds, she did her best to smile. "I don't know what those nurses were drinking, probably some of that gods awful brew the Chief's been messing with, but they're wrong, Lee. The way I see it, you're going to have to beat the women off with a stick. Not only are you adorable and charming but now you're wounded. Every woman's a sucker for a man that needs her."

Kara sighed and grabbed the bandage roll. "Especially me, Lee. So, if you would be nice enough to wake up for me, I promise that I'll be by your side every single step of the way as you recover. Because I know that you and me can beat this. We can do anything together, remember? You said that to me when we were on Kobol. Just because I laughed in your face at the time doesn't mean I didn't believe you."

She gently lifted his arm a few inches and started rolling the tape around the blistering skin. "And trust me, you don't have to worry about being appealing to the women of the Fleet because they don't get to have you. You are _my _knight in shining armor, Lee, not theirs."

Kara finished wrapping his arm in silence, but when it came time to wrap his head back up, she couldn't do it. She had placed bandages over the burns on his cheek. The wound needed to be protected. She couldn't cover his head completely, though. She needed Lee to resemble himself a little right now. She needed to see that this was going to be okay in some way.

She tried to still her hand as she brushed the tips of her fingers along the unharmed side of his face. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it had been like for him. "You're stupid, you know," she whispered. "I've done nothing to earn this type of devotion from you. Hell, half the time I've been a downright brat to you and you really should have smacked me in the mouth."

Her cheeks were wet with tears again, proving she was far from done with the crying. "You have to be all right, Lee. I know I'm going to be doing some stupid thing real soon, and I need you around to stop me. And I need you to get better so I can thank you. If I didn't know you were coming, I might have panicked and tried to get out of my Viper by myself. Just knowing that you knew what was happening was so comforting. I guess I just want you to wake up so I can do the same for you." Kara wanted desperately to hold his hand right now, but she knew it would cause him pain. "I'm going to be right here, Lee, for however long it takes. So don't stop fighting."

"Kara?"

Her eyes darted up and then went wide when she saw Lee staring back at her. "You're awake."

"Who can sleep when there's someone yammering in your ear?" Lee teased. He went to sit up and winced. "Frak me. I thought Cottle had me on some kind of pain killer here."

Kara reached out to help him move and did her best not to push on any of his wounds. "Comfortable?"

Lee nodded, and for a few seconds, they were silent.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Kara smiled. "Anything."

"What was with the dramatic monologue-keeping fighting stuff? The Old Man did tell you that I'm not dying, didn't he?" The corner of his mouth tipped up in a half-smile when he saw her face go pink. Kara could be so overly dramatic in times like these. She would never admit it, though. "I'm going to be just fine," Lee assured her. "The burns are going to heal, and my hands should be fine. There's a chance I might not be able to fly a Viper in combat again, but I don't think I'll be completely grounded."

Lee let his eyes drift over Kara's face as she stared down at her hands. He knew she was dealing with an incredible amount of guilt right now because that's how Kara dealt with these kinds of things, but she looked like she was about to cry. He couldn't have that.

Kara felt the bandages on her cheek before she realized Lee was tipping her chin up. "Plus, a cocky fly girl once told me that chicks love scars."

The smile came to her lips before she even realized it was happening. "They do."

Lee dropped his hand to rest on top of where hers lay on the bed. "I'm holding you to what you said, though."

"Which part?"

"I'm going to need your help getting over this. Everyone keeps saying I'm coping with this really well, but no one knows me like you do. I'm going to be just fine until I'm not. Then I'm probably going to get angry and resentful. It's only natural. That's why I need you to stick close. I need to be reminded of why I did what I did."

"You did what you did because you're a complete idiot," Kara insisted.

"See? I'm going to need you to keep telling me that. We don't want me to have another bout of stupidity. Gods only knows what trouble I could get into then."

"I figured I'd find you two together," Cottle grumbled as he stepped into the curtained area. "Glad to see you've decided to join us in the land of the conscious, Captain." He didn't wait for Lee to respond and just barreled on. "Lieutenant, might you explain to me why two of my nurses are afraid to come down to this part of their work area?"

"I didn't like their standard of care," Kara smirked. "So I told them they weren't needed."

"And are you going to do their jobs while they're off being unneeded?"

"I bandaged him up," Kara said, pointing to Lee, "and I think I did a pretty good job."

Cottle shook his head. "So I guess I should have some of my boys wheel another hospital bed into this area?"

Kara nodded. She had no intention of leaving Lee's side right now, especially since he asked her to stay.

Cottle rolled his eyes and stepped up to the side of the bed. "All right. I need to take a look at your injuries since my staff didn't have time to finish their check."

Kara sat patiently perched on the side of Lee's bed as Cottle went over each and every inch of the burns. He made a few notes on the chart by the bedside and then rewrapped the wounds. "You're doing just fine, Lee," he reassured him. "I'll be able to let you know about your hands in a few days. We just have to wait for the swelling and blistering to go down a little bit."

Kara watched Lee's head nod just a little bit and suddenly she realized how exhausted he must be. Cottle gave her one of his looks before leaving the two of them alone. "You should get some rest," she whispered, patting his hand gently.

Lee shook his head. "I want to keep talking to you. I like talking to you."

"Those pain killers must be finally kicking in," Kara observed. He really was starting to look rather sluggish. "Do yourself a favor and don't fight it."

"I want to stay," he whispered, his eyes already drooping closed. "I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, Lee. You made sure of that."

"Well, just don't do anything stupid before I wake up," he warned her.

"I promise. Nothing stupid until you wake up."

"Good."

It took only a few seconds for Lee to fall asleep. Kara slid from the bed and shut the curtain behind her as she stepped into the main sickbay area. She flagged down one of the staff members. "If he wakes up, come get me. I don't care if I'm deep asleep or threatening to kill you if you keep trying to get me up. If he's awake, I'm awake."

The tech shook his head vigorously, obviously intimidated by her. She suddenly realized this was the same man who had been around when she woke up and when she found Lee. Poor guy was always in the right place at the wrong time.

Kara was laying in bed for only a few minutes when she heard Cottle's gruff voice over the chaos of sickbay. "What do you mean she's resting in her own bed? Lieutenant Thrace does not follow orders like that!"

Kara chuckled to herself and shut her eyes. She was going to need her rest for Lee's sake.


	66. Question

_The question fell off his lips before he could stop himself, "Do you really call this nothing, Kara?"_

The question fell off his lips before he could stop himself, "Do you really call this nothing, Kara?" It made her whole body freeze up.

They were sparring in the gym, something they tried to do whenever the two of them could make time in their schedules. Kara liked to call it her way of helping with his shoulder rehab. She usually turned a blind eye when the wound started bleeding. He always paid her back by not letting Dee know Kara was partially responsible for the pain when he would wince later that night.

It didn't take long for things to spiral out of control for them. Lee had honestly tried to keep her at a distance. Ever since she screamed at him that there was no us, he was determined to keep himself from being the fool. He had risked himself for her once. He wasn't going to do it again.

And yet the first time she let their sparring get out of hand, he was bringing it up.

"What do you mean?" Kara's voice came out more as panting. They had been in the middle of one of their knock down, drag out fights, and she had been winning.

Lee didn't respond right away. He just stared at her. She was straddling his waist, having tackled him to the floor only seconds earlier. He could feel the pulse of her body against his, and for some reason, that gave him confidence. "This isn't nothing."

"What isn't?" Kara asked.

Lee could see the start of a smile tickling the corner of her mouth, ad he realized she was playing with him. He snapped both of his hands up to grab her wrist and tugged hard. Her body slammed down against his, and he smiled. His hand came up to brush a stray hair from her eyes.

When her gaze drifted down to his lips and then back up to his eyes, Lee felt his heart freeze with the memory of when this had last happened. It had been the first moment that he realized he was attracted to Dee, the first moment he realized that he might actually be able to get past Kara.

It hadn't felt this intense when it was Dee.

"What are you thinking about?" Kara was so close that her breath tickled his face.

"What?" Lee replied. If she could play dumb, then so could he.

"You got distracted there. I could have gone in for a kill shot and you wouldn't have noticed."

"What kind of kill shot could you get in?" Lee tightened his grip around her wrists. "I've got you pretty incapacitated right now."

"I don't need my hands to turn you upside down," Kara whispered. She ground her hips into his body as proof. "Hurts, doesn't it?"

"Kara…" Lee warned.

She gave him that innocent look that always meant she knew exactly what she was doing. "If you don't like it, let me go."

Lee wrapped his legs around hers and shifted their weight until he was on top. He pinned her arms to the ground and smiled. "I win."

Kara's tongue darted out to moisten her lips, and she smiled. "That's all a matter of perspective, Captain."

Lee's face lost its humor as the mood shifted from playful to dead serious. He hated how much he wanted her to start telling the truth. His world had shifted into a complete disarray the second she walked into it, and he just wanted a hint that maybe it was the same way for her. "Do you see it now, Kara?"

"What?"

"Something," he whispered, leaning in to kiss the side of her neck. "A whole lot of something."

Kara laughed as the stubble on Lee's cheek teased her skin. "All I feel is your damn five o'clock shadow."

Lee pulled back and feigned insult. "If it's really that bad, I can go shave."

Kara bit her lip and shook her head. "Actually, it's kind of nice."

Lee watched her for a moment while he worked up the courage to keep pushing forward with whatever they were playing at. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, a voice echoed through the previously empty gym. "Kara Thrace, your ass is supposed to be pulling a maintenance shift right now."

Kara's face lit up in fear for a few seconds before she rolled her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she pushed Lee's body off of hers. "Fraking hell, Karl. I was about to go down there as soon as I proved to Lee that I won this little bout. You don't have to play like you're my mother."

Lee shook his head as he watched her attempts to regain her composure. Funny how she was still so out of breath when they had stopped fighting a long time ago.

Kara wasn't meeting his eyes. Instead, she focused on unwrapping the tape from her hands. It seemed things had gone back to the normal pattern of no communication and avoidance.

Sighing, Lee got to his feet. "I have to hit the showers. I have a few meetings with Garner about shifting some personnel around to form a good team that he can work with. It should take at least the rest of the day." Lee gave Kara a quick glance and saw she still wouldn't look at him. "Not that you should care. I'm sure you have better things to be doing than wondering where the frak your CAG is."

"I never do" Kara said, straightening her tanks as she got to her feet. She glanced over at Helo before bending down to pick up the discarded tape.

The anger flashed in Lee's eyes a few seconds before he got it under control. He needed to get out of here else he would so something stupid. "I'll see you later, Captain. Lieutenant."

Kara waited for Lee to slam the hatch before she dropped her calm pretense and turned to Karl. "How the frak did you know I needed you?"

"There was scuttlebutt circulating the ship that you two were sparring again, but this time the fight had become _private_ just like the old days. I figured you needed someone to come in before you did something stupid."

Kara nodded, letting him know he had been right. She shifted herself closer to him and was grateful when she felt his arms come around her. "He asked me again, Karl."

"And what did you say?"

"You managed to butt in before I told him he was right."

"Good. The last thing you need is the CAG knowing that he's constantly on your mind these days."

Kara smacked her friend as hard as she could. He doubled over immediately. "I did not confide in you only to have you throw it back in my face every few hours."

"Sorry."

Kara rolled her eyes. He was always fraking sorry. If she didn't love him so much, she would tell him he could shove his sorry up his ass. "I need to find Anders."

"I know."

Kara felt Helo's arms tighten around her, and she sighed. He understood. She had to find Anders to know if what she remembered feeling for him was real. She had to find out if what she had with him trumped what she had with Lee. Only then could she tell Lee that she would never call what they had nothing. Only then could she tell him the truth.


	67. Breathing

_Lee could hear Kara's breathing speed up behind the closed curtain of her bunk, and he did his best not to imagine why that might be._

ooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooo

Lee prided himself on being a good CAG even though he had fallen into the role without really working for it. It was thrust upon him during a time of war, and he was surprised to find he was good at it. More than that, he _enjoyed _it.

One of the things that made him so good at this job was knowing where his people were at all times. For instance, he knew that Racetrack, Longshot, Duck, and Brimstone were on CAP right now. Kat and Sticky were on alert, and the rest of the squadrons were on downtime until the next shift change.

It was that stupid ability that let him know Kara was sleeping in her bunk before he stepped into his quarters and saw her curtain pulled shut. Lee tried to cross to his bunk quietly, only stopping to grab a pair of underwear from his locker. Kara hated it when he woke her up after his post-CAP shower. He was patiently waiting for her to torture him when the shifts changed up the following week.

Sliding the curtain shut, he took off the towel and slipped the underwear on with barely a sound. The towel was thrown at the end of his bunk. He would get it in the morning when he knew he was safe to move about without the fear of getting torn a new one.

His eyes slid shut, and Lee silently prayed he came down off the adrenaline high of flying fast that night. He had a long string of meetings with the President in the morning, and he already owed her for falling asleep the last time they tried this.

Lee focused in on the sounds of the bunkroom for a minute. Once he was sure everything was calm, he focused in on the soft breathing of the bunk across from him. It had taken Lee a few weeks to figure out this trick, but it seemed listening to Kara sleep calmed him down. Everything sounded normal to him, and he could feel himself drifting off to sleep.

Then a soft moan broke through the stillness of the bunkroom, and Lee's eyes shot open. He strained to hear better and that's when he picked up on the slight difference he had missed before. Kara wasn't sleeping.

Lee could hear Kara's breathing speed up behind the closed curtain of her bunk, and he did his best not to imagine why that might be. Thoughts like that would not help him calm down.

Lee shut his eyes in hopes that he could ignore the hitched breathing, but his eyes shot open the second he heard her moan again. This time it almost sounded like a word. A small part of his brain pointed out that Lee was the CAG. He should go over there and make sure she wasn't sick or something. Then an even larger part of his brain pointed out that she wasn't moaning in pain here. That was when a completely different part of his anatomy decided to think of exactly what kind of moan was coming from her lips.

"Frak me," Lee said with a groan as he felt himself spring to life. It had been one of those days so he wasn't surprised that his body should be forcing him into this awkward position. "Got to think of something different."

Lee racked his brain. Flight schedules and medical clearances needed signing. Long, long CAPs when you had to go to the bathroom. Lieutenant Gaeta going on and on about how brilliant Dr. Baltar was. Colonel Tigh sneering.

That last one had just started to work when he heard Kara gasp 'oh gods' softly. He waited for someone to yell at her to keep it down. When no one did, Lee realized that everyone else in the room had been asleep for some time. He was the only one awake.

Lee looked down to see that his underwear was still very much in tent form. He wasn't going to be able to think himself out of this one.

He started running through his options. There weren't many. He could just go to sleep with this painful erection. That wasn't a realistic option, though. Lee had a feeling his dreams would go down a very adult pathway, and then he'd have a whole different mess to clean-up in the morning.

He could sneak out of the bunkroom and take care of this down in the head. If he did that, he risked being spotted by a million people he did not want to see right now. Knowing him, he'd run into the President on a surprise midnight visit or something ridiculous like that.

Ruling that out, Lee's eyes drifted around his bunk for a few seconds before settling on the towel at the end of his bed. He could just take of this right here and now. No one in the bunkroom was awake to hear. Another moan coming from Kara's bunk seemed to punctuate his point.

Lee shook his head as he pulled his underwear down to take himself in hand. Really, he knew better than this.

He started stroking himself and soon he had shifted into a rhythm with the soft pants coming from the bunk next to him. Before he could think better, he shut his eyes and started imagining what was going on behind that closed curtain.

She would be laying on her back with her tanks pushed up, exposing her breasts to the cold air of the battlestar. She would start slow by teasing one nipple and then the other. Because she was impatient, the peaks would have just begun to stiffen when she moved on to slid one hand past the barrier of her underwear.

He could imagine the way she was biting down on her bottom lip, trying to keep the moans from spilling out into the air as she worked a finger slowly against her folds. She was a tease in practically everything she did so she would be trying to prolong this. She would rub herself over and over again, in time to her racing heart, until she felt herself ready to explode. Lee felt his strokes begin to speed up at the thought of it.

She wouldn't push herself over this early, though. No. She was the type of girl who wanted it long and drawn out. She liked things messy.

She would slow down until the buzz started to fade. Her breathing would calm down, and it was only when her ears stopped hearing the sound of her heart pounding that she would slowly, carefully, slide a finger deep inside her. She wouldn't move or arch it at all. It would just be an unhurried intrusion that would make her hips twitch ever so slightly.

She would start to gradual curl her fingers against the slope of her body, pressing the points inside herself that she knew would set her on edge. Her free hand would come up to kneed the flesh of her breast, lightly flicking a nipple. That little sensation would cause a moan to fall from her lips before she could stop it. Her eyes would slid open as she realized it and she would wait to hear someone in the bunkroom tease her for giving in to her lust. When no sound came, she would simply move her hand away from her breast and up to her mouth. Then, her other hand would resume the steadily increasing pace.

Lee felt himself moan soft and low at the thought of her biting down hard on the back of her hand. He could just imagine how hot and tight she would, all that desire inside of her having to be bottled up because there just wasn't time these days to find an adequate frak buddy.

He was nearing the edge.

Lee paused for a moment to listen and felt a grin play at his lips when he heard a slow, steady stream of panting breaths coming from the bunk next to him.

She would feel herself so close that her other hand would move from her mouth to lay on top of the one deep inside her. She would push against it to increase the pressure, and her toes would curl at the sound spasm that grabbed her body. Her hips were bucking against the rhythm of her hands now, and he could feel every cell of his body tensing along with hers. She would speed up her hand, shutting her eyes to imagine that one person deep inside of her. She would chant his name in her mind over and over again as finally she touched the right spot at the right time. Her walls would clench against her fingers, so tight.

A low groan filled the air of the bunkroom just as Lee imagined the orgasm ringing through her body. Lee caught the sounds of a few people stirring. They had definitely heard that one. He wished he had more control over his own reaction, but the thought of Kara, her tanks pulled up, her panties pulled down, panting out her release in the bunk next to his was too much. One last tight stroke and he barely had time to grab the towel before he was releasing himself into his hand.

A sense of guilt flooded over him as he cleaned himself up. He hated the fact that his mind naturally drifted to thinking about Kara whenever he needed this kind of relief. She was the best friend he had right now, and he kept turning her into this object. It made him feel so damn wrong, but he knew that he wasn't going to change. Because in the end, it was wrong, but it felt right.

Lee pushed himself back into his underwear and, after peeking outside his curtain, made his way over to the laundry bin to drop the towel inside. He managed to make it back to his bunk before anyone noticed. This was the type of situation he did not want to talk about.

Sighing, he shut his eyes and listened to the bunkroom. All was calm now, but the damage had been done.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooo

"So you're rather happy this morning, Buck."

"Had an interesting dream, Helo.

Helo looked around the bunkroom and smiled. He was used to this morning routine. So were the other pilots obviously considering they all paused in what they were doing to look up. "Going to tell us about it?"

"Well," Kara started slowly, a lazy smile spreading across her face, "let's just say that our little CAG played a starring role and he was doing some inappropriate things in his bunk."

Lee's hand paused in his search for his shampoo as her words hit home. For a brief second, he wondered if she knew. Had she heard him just like he heard her?

"Nice one," Kat called from across the room.

"I try," Kara said, turning to look over her shoulder and give Lee a smile.

It was just a game to her. Lee breathed a sigh of relief and continued his futile searching. He knew Kara stole his shampoo over a week earlier, but he wasn't ready to admit that right now.

He was just starting to slam things out of the locker and onto the floor when he felt a hand drift lazily up his back to sit on his shoulders. He turned to see that Kara was still grinning. "What?"

"It's funny how easy they are."

"Yeah, real funny if you're not the subject of one of your jokes," Lee corrected.

"I'll let you in on a little secret."

Lee lifted an eyebrow in inquiry. He knew that he was asking for it, but he really didn't care.

"I wasn't telling the whole truth about my dream," she whispered, leaning in close to his ear.

Lee fought the urge to roll his eyes. Did she _ever_ stop playing games? "Really, Kara?"

"You were in your bunk doing inappropriate things, sure. But you just happened to not be alone."

And with one quick wink, she had moved back to her locker. Lee stared at the empty space next to him and wondered if he would ever know what that was really about.


	68. Silence

_**Author's note: I took liberties with the coma thing. You can sue me, but that's about it… :OP**_

oooooOOOOOOOOooooo

_The silence grew between them as her words sunk in, and Lee wondered how four little words could hurt so much even if he knew they were a lie - _I don't love you.

oooooOOOOOOOOooooo

Kara could feel hands gripping her body, yanking her forward. She was thrashing out, but whatever it was held her so tight she couldn't breathe. She couldn't stop it. A loud, vibrant ache echoed through her body, and Kara felt herself slam forward. Everything went white, and slowly her eyes opened.

The light of the room was dim, a blanket of warmth on her skin. Kara reached her hands out and met cold smooth material. It was soft to the touch. She turned her head, ignoring the slow ache of her muscles. She was in a bed. No, scratch that. She was in a _really nice_ bed.

Her eyes burned against the harshness of the air. There was a sharp pain in her arm when she reached to brush the stinging tears away. Kara forced herself to focus, and through the watery pain, she saw she had pulled at the tubes embedded in her wrist and hand.

Her body was shaking, and her mind was complete chaos. Somewhere deep inside her, the survivor's instinct she had prided herself on for so long kicked in. Her hand tightened over the tubes and pulled. The pain coursed through her body, making her jaw draw open and her eyes slam shut, but she pushed it to the side.

Her feet touched the floor slowly. It was cold yet familiar. Wherever she was, it was in the air. She bit down on her lip until the pain coming from her hand calmed.

Her knees buckled the second she tried to stand up, and she found her hands desperately clutching the bed to keep herself off the floor. The muscles in her thighs and calves were screaming, and she had no clue why. She had no memory of where she was, what she was doing here, and why it hurt so much.

The red that filled her visions, mingling with the white, did fade. The pain in her legs did not. She had spent most of her childhood shoving pain away, though. That much she knew how to do and so she pushed away from the bed.

Her legs screamed in agony, but each step was easier than the last.

The hatchway to the next room stood open in front of her, and she could see light filtering through. The air warmed slightly against her skin as she walked through the small opening into the other room. Her eyes drifted immediately to the man sitting behind the desk, and she felt her knees give out once again.

Lee's eyes went wide the second he saw her, and he was on his feet and at her side before she could clear her head of the pain. Her hands clutched at him almost on instinct. Her eyes darted around the room as she tried to understand what she was seeing.

This place… she knew this place. This was all wrong. Lee shouldn't be here. _She_ shouldn't be here.

And yet she was safe. She knew she was safe.

"What's happening?" Kara choked out, the words sticking in her raw throat. Her voice was low and harsh. It hurt to even breathe.

"You need to get back to bed," Lee whispered, already leading her back the way she came.

Kara could feel the pain ease away as Lee took most of the burden off her legs. She still had no clue why it hurt so much to move. Lee paused at the foot of the bed, but Kara took one look at the machines and shook her head.

"Come on, Kara. You have to lay down." He watched her eyes frantically dart over the machines next to the bed to the tubing to the bed itself, and he could feel the fear growing inside of her somewhere. "I'll sit with you. How about that?"

Kara was surprised to feel a small relief at his words. She had no clue where it came from, but somehow she knew if Lee sat down with her, she would be okay. Tightening her hands around his shoulder, she let him lower her onto the mattress. He slid onto the bed next to her and leaned against the wall.

The silence filled the room immediately, and for the first time, Kara tried to remember what had put her here. If Lee was watching over her, then she knew that this was a voluntary thing. Something had happened to put her under his watch, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember. She could feel herself struggling with everything she had yet her mind remained a complete wash of white nothingness floating in the inconsequential details. She was scared. "Please tell me what's going on," she pleaded softly. Her hand came out to grasp Lee's. She was surprised to feel his hand trembling to match hers.

"You had a bad landing, Kara. You were out on CAP with Kat as your wingman, and you two encountered Scar." Lee felt her tense up immediately and did his best to ignore the ache that started in his heart, knowing this was just the beginning. "From what the alert fighters said, it was a sight to be seen. You went toe to toe with that fraking Raider, and then when that wasn't enough, you set him up and Kat took him down. It was probably the best flying most of these pilots have ever born witness to."

Lee sighed and shifted to slid his fingers between Kara's. He wanted so badly to just pull her into his arms and hold her as tight as he could, but that would hurt her too much. She was so damn fragile. "Then something went wrong in your landing. We still have no idea what that was, but your Viper went into a slide and you ended up flipped upside down and pinned to the wall of the launch tube. It took them an hour to cut you out."

"I was hurt?" Kara said, even though the answer was written all over Lee's face

"You were unconscious. The second you got down to sickbay, Cottle told us it didn't look good. You were so pale, Kara. I…" The words caught in his throat, and Lee lowered his head to try to gain some composure. His eyes fell to the caked blood on her hand. "I need to bandage that up."

Kara felt his hand slid away, and he started towards what she assumed was the bathroom for these quarters. The panic hit her the second he left the bed. "Lee?"

His voice carried from the bathroom. "Cottle took you through so many surgeries that we all lost count. There was bleeding in your brain and in your abdomen. It took him hours just to stabilize you enough to assess the damage."

Kara watched Lee as he made his way back to the bed, a basin of water and bandages in his hand. Her body was in pain, but she didn't feel like she had been through a million operations. Plus, bleeding in the brain and abdomen didn't explain why her legs were so damn weak. "It doesn't make sense. I don't feel like any of that happened."

The bed dipped down to accommodate Lee's weight as he sat next to her again. She held her arm out to him, and he started washing off the blood. "You wouldn't feel like that because it happened a long time ago." His hands stopped, and his head lifted to look her in the eye. "You were in a coma for six months, Kara."

Her reaction was instantaneous. She snatched her hand away from him and felt the wounds pull again. She didn't have to look down to know she was bleeding. "No, that's not possible."

"Kara."

"No, Lee. I'm not stupid. If I was in a coma, I wouldn't be able to walk. I would be stuck in the fraking sickbay, hooked up to a million machines. Cottle would be watching over me. I wouldn't be waking up in some fraking office that I know isn't where I'm supposed to be."

Lee stayed silent as she lashed out at him in confusion. The only real success he had ever had in talking with Kara was simply to let her fume and wait patiently for her to calm down. His mind drifted back to a conversation he had had with Cottle everyday for the past few months. The Doc said that when Kara woke up, she would need to be looked over completely, but he assured Lee that there was no rush. Just because she woke up didn't mean that her body was going to go haywire. Plus, they both knew Kara would have a million questions. It would be easier to make her lay down and try to give her the answers she needed rather than force her to wait to find out that she had lost such a large chunk of her life.

Content with his decision not to immediately call someone to tell them to get Cottle, Lee reached for her arm again. She didn't jump away from his touch which he took as a sign that she was calm again. They sat in silence as he washed off the newly shed blood and wrapped the gauze around the torn skin. Kara felt the pain dull slowly against the gentle touch of his fingers. "Do you want me to continue?" he asked.

Kara nodded slowly. She was okay now.

"Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't be where you are, but circumstances have never really been that way, have they?" Lee waited for her to nod again before continuing. "For one hundred, eighty-seven days, there was no change. You were stable but not making any forward progress. I think it took all of Cottle's courage to tell my father and I that it was time to decide what to do with you. I can't begin to describe how completely floored I was when the Doc turned to _me_ and asked for a decision. I don't think I fully understood what was happening until he held out your med records for me to look at." Lee tipped Kara's chin up to look at him. "Why did you put me in charge of making life decisions for you?"

Kara felt relieved when the memory of that day popped right to the top of her head. It looked like her memory wasn't completely shot. It was just full of a few well-placed holes. "A few things clicked into place after I came back from Caprica. Two things mainly. One, the Old Man welcomed me home with open arms even after I betrayed his trust, and two, you told me about what you did to Colonel Tigh. I knew in that moment that you were more likely to make the tough decision. You would do what was right by me."

Lee shook his head. "I kept you around, Kara. Against everyone's recommendations… orders… whatever you want to call them, I wouldn't let you go. You made the wrong choice."

"I don't think so," Kara said. The calmness washing over her took her by surprise. Something was still very wrong about this picture, but she felt herself ignoring it for just a few seconds. "Look at me, Lee. I'm not dead. I'm not in a coma. Don't you get it? I'm alive because you wouldn't let me go."

Lee nodded. "Somehow I knew all those months of fighting to keep you around were worth it. The day I felt your hand move in mine, I thought it was a dream. I had been willing you to come back to me for so long."

"And so here we are."

Lee shook his head. "Not quite. The day you started waking up was months ago. Since then, it's been a slow process of rehabilitation. Cottle kept telling me that your slow progress was a good thing because it meant you weren't rushing the healing. I didn't believe him. We worked hard to keep your muscles active when you were in a coma, but when you woke up, I demanded that you be pushed even harder. Cottle told me that I was being stupid, but I didn't listen. I knew you wouldn't want to wake up to find that you could barely move without it hurting."

"Have I really been awake for months? Because I can't remember any of it."

"You have been awake for awhile now in a sense," Lee admitted. "Usually it would only be a few seconds or a few minutes. Last week, I had you for almost half of an hour, but you were so out of it that I don't think any of my words actually got through to you."

"I'm awake now, though."

"Yeah, you are," Lee said.

Kara realized that he was smiling for the first time. Her eyes drifted over the lines of his face and then down his body. He hadn't changed that much. She took in her surroundings again and found they, too, were familiar. "Where are we?"

"The quarters of the XO," Lee said without much thought.

Kara's eyes went wide, and Lee realized his mistake even before she said the words. "You had me moved to Tigh's quarters?"

"No, Kara, calm down. These are my quarters now. Saul bottomed out around the time we found New Caprica."

Kara found it odd that Lee would use Tigh's first name so casually, but she shoved that question to the side. Instead she focused on the other confusing part of his last statement. "New Caprica?"

"We found a planet that could sustain human life by mistake about seven months ago. It's surrounded by some sort of nebula which interferes with any sort of dradis reading. That's what's been hiding us from the Cylons. President Baltar thought this intel on the nebula was all the assurance he needed and ordered the whole Fleet to stand down. We've been slowly populating the planet ever since."

"President Baltar?"

Lee couldn't hide the smile that came to his face. "You've missed a lot, Kara."

"So, let me get this right. By some miracle of the gods, the Fleet just stumbled onto this planet?" Kara watched Lee tense, and even though she was in quite a bit of pain still, the significance wasn't lost on her. He was hiding something.

Lee knew he should tell her the rest of the story. She had a right to know where Racetrack had been heading when her Raptor mis-jumped and ended up near New Caprica. He just didn't want to tell her right now. He had waited forever for this moment. He wanted to draw it out as long as he could.

The silence hung between them, and for some reason, Kara felt desperate to keep this conversation going. It was almost like if she stopped talking with Lee, she knew everything was going to change. The feeling of protection would fade away. "So somehow after finding this miracle planet, you got appointed XO?"

"Demoted," Lee corrected.

"Okay, you're not making any sense."

"A month into your coma, my father appointed me Commander of the Pegasus. It seemed I was the only officer he thought could handle the job."

"And could you?"

"Yeah. The Old Man was right. For some reason, the people listened to me."

"So why are you here now?"

Lee looked like he was about to answer and then stopped. "Are you sure you're up for all this, Kara?"

"I think I've rested enough to last me a lifetime if you're telling me the truth."

Lee nodded. Kara was stubborn. She wasn't going to fall asleep even though he knew her body was probably screaming for the rest. He had no fraking clue where she found the strength to walk all the way to his office on her own. "You and I would be on Pegasus right now if there hadn't been an accident."

"What kind of accident?"

"The kind that takes a whole chunk out of the Fleet," Lee said bluntly. He wasn't about to start sugar coating things now. "There was a Cylon living on Cloud Nine, and somehow they got a hold of a nuclear warhead. I don't know why they waited for us to find New Caprica to use it, but we had barely begun to settle the planet when it detonated. Pegasus was nearby refueling some of the smaller ships, and the blast burned her through from one end to the other."

"You weren't on the ship."

Lee shook his head. "No, I was visiting my father at the time to go over some of the changes that were happening because of the planet settlement."

"Thank the gods for that," Kara whispered. As soon as the words left her lips, she saw Lee's expression change to one of confusion. She could feel herself desperately searching for some reason why he would be surprised to find she liked the idea of him staying alive, but once again her memory was failing. She pushed whatever that was to the side and chose to focus back on where their conversation started. "So now you're the XO of Galactica?"

"We're running with half the crew that you remember, but I'm still needed," Lee confirmed. Still keeping his eyes locked with hers, he got to his feet. "Now I think you need to be resting because in a few minutes, I'll have a med team down here giving you a full work-up."

Kara groaned. "Can't I go back to the whole coma thing instead?"

"Not on you life," Lee said, poking her un-injured arm.

Kara growled and was happy to hear him laugh as he cleaned up the basin and extra bandages from before. She watched him for a few moments before there was a small tingling at the back of her mind. Shutting her eyes, she focused on it and a few memories flashed through her mind. A conversation with Lee over a bottle of ambrosia. Helo sparring with her in the gym. An overheard conversation in the mess.

For some reason, the memory of listening to Racetrack and Hawkeye talk over their lunch was what stuck in her head. They were joking about Dee's new fascination for the CAG. Kara realized with a start that the pilots had been talking about Lee. He was CAG back then. She could remember seeing something happen between the petty officer and her superior officer, but she found it hard to believe that Lee would be selfish enough to take another man's girlfriend.

Lee was about to disappear into the bathroom when Kara called out to him. "How's Dee doing?" He spun around immediately to look at her, and Kara saw something flash across his eyes. Her heart froze as she realized Racetrack and Hawkeye had been right. There was something there. "I don't know why I asked that," she blurted out, backtracking as quickly as she could. "I just… I remembered something important I think, but I don't know what that is."

Lee set down the things in his hands and turned to look at her. "Cottle said you would have a fuzzy memory for at least the next few weeks."

"So you're saying I was right to ask you about Dee?"

Lee nodded. "There was an attraction between Dee and I that I guess started those few weeks before your accident. You must have picked up on it. It probably wouldn't have amounted to anything. I was pretty screwed up back then, and I think I knew better than to try to pull someone down with me."

"But?" Kara said, sensing there was more to this story.

"But then there was a hostage situation on Cloud Nine. I was there on a mandatory downtime order so the Old Man sent me in to diffuse the situation. I didn't get there quick enough, and Billy was killed."

"Bil… Billy?" Kara's voice cracked. Her mind flashed to the memory of the young presidential aide. He couldn't be dead.

"He was trying to protect Dee. She was devastated by his sacrifice, and I helped her pick up the pieces. Something happened between us. I knew that it shouldn't, that she was just vulnerable, but I couldn't stop it."

Kara nodded her understanding. She knew a few things about losing control. The room filled with silence as she wondered if she wanted to hear what the rest of this story was. She had a bad feeling from the way Lee was talking about this that she had managed to frak things up even while in a coma. He had that slight hesitance in his voice that only showed up when he was trying to protect her from herself.

"We got serious enough that when the Pegasus was destroyed, she asked if I wanted to settle down on the planet with her and try to make a new start. I thought about it, but I couldn't leave things hanging in limbo like that. There was still so much to do. So I took the XO position when the Old Man offered it to me." Kara gave him a small nod of understanding, and Lee turned away to tend to the things he had thrown onto the counter a few minutes earlier.

"One more question." Kara waited until he was facing her before she gestured to the machines. "How does Dee feel about this little arrangement?"

"She didn't have a say in it."

"That's awfully harsh."

"By the time I got Cottle to agree to move you out of sickbay, she didn't have a say in a lot of the things I did." Lee shrugged. "You can't have a girlfriend when you already have a woman sleeping in your bed." Kara went to ask him another question, but he shook his head. "You need to rest. You can ask more questions when Cottle's cleared you."

"Cleared me for what?"

"Cleared you to be alive," Lee teased before dropping out of sight.

Kara felt a smile come to her face and let her eyes slid shut. She didn't feel like she was falling anymore.

oooooOOOOOOOOooooo

A bang woke her up, and she saw Lee standing across from the bed holding his foot. He was doing his best to cry out in pain without making a sound, and it made her smile. The foggy haze of sleep was still in control of her mind even as the words fell from her lips. "Why did you bring me here, Lee?"

Lee looked up at her, and he was so startled he didn't think to sensor his answer. "Because I love you, Kara, and I wanted to watch over you."

Kara felt a sort of happiness hitting her somewhere deep inside at the same time her mind seemed to freeze. She tried to concentrate and clear her head of all the excess noise. This was important. Whatever this moment was, whatever it meant, it was important. She felt sleep tugging her back down and did her best to fight it as she suddenly remembered how she had left things with Lee. Before her accident, they had been in the bunkroom, and she had been this close to frakking up everything they had when he asked her to slow down. He had wanted more from her than she could give. The words tumbled out as the memory played over and over in her head. "I don't love you."

Kara looked up to see his face steel and knew that no matter how much time had passed, some things were still the same.

The silence grew between them as her words sunk in, and Lee wondered how four little words could hurt so much even if he knew they were a lie - _I don't love you._

"Cottle's going to be here in a few minutes. I'll come back when he's done."

Kara nodded, not really sure what else to do. The door clicked shut behind Lee, and she was left staring into the empty space where he had been.

Doc Cottle showed up a little while later just like Lee said, and he found Kara still staring off into space. He fought back the urge to ask how long she and Lee had made it before trouncing on each other's emotions again. There was probably a bunch of pilots who had a pool going about that sort of thing. He could brib a few of them into getting their annual physicals with the information of when the two famous Fleet frak-ups started their streak of miscommunication again.

Kara had felt relieved to be around Cottle. The crotchety old man treated her the exact same as before the accident, and she was grateful. She knew that in the coming days, she would have to tell a lot of people that contrary to what they might believe she was not breakable. She had been in a coma, and now she wasn't. They were going to have to get used to the idea.

Cottle took some blood and told her he would be back the next morning with official confirmation of what they already knew. She was going to be just fine. Her body had shut down and healed itself. He suggested that she take it easy, though. The Commander… it took Kara a moment to realize he was talking about Lee… had made sure her physical therapy was top notch while she was out of commission, and therefore it should be an easy recovery if she just didn't push it.

She wasn't surprised when Lee stepped back into his quarters a few minutes after Cottle left. He was always good for his promises. Kara felt the urge to apologize for blurting out she didn't love him. She wanted to explain that she hadn't thought it out before saying them, that she was half wrapped up in memories now that she was awake, and she had no clue which end was up, but Lee cut her off.

"There's something I haven't told you, Kara." Lee looked like he was going to come sit beside her on the bed but stopped himself. "Racetrack was the one who found New Caprica, and she did it by accident. She was in the middle of a mission when her Raptor jumped to the wrong coordinates."

"Stop being melodramatic, Lee," Kara said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not."

It wasn't the dark serious tone of his voice that made her stop teasing. She had heard that tone a million times, and never once had it phased her. No, it was the sadness laced underneath that tone which made Kara brace herself for whatever was to come next.

"Racetrack was on the mission headed back to Caprica."

Kara's eyes went wide as she suddenly realized why Lee was so sad. "Caprica?"

"Sam's alive, Kara. Helo lead a team of Raptors onto the planet, and they saved him and a handful of his resistance members. They're…" Lee shook his head. This wasn't about the resistance. This was about Anders. "_He's_ down on New Caprica. He takes a Raptor up her at least once a week to visit you. There were a few times that you woke up when he was here, but you were so out of it no one expected you to remember."

"Sam?" It was the only word she could manage to get out right now.

"Yeah, Kara. Sam." Lee sighed. "I'll put in a call down to the planet and let him know that you want to see him."

Kara nodded and let her eyes drift away from Lee's face. She couldn't take seeing him this sad, not when she knew she was the cause. Her mind was screaming a million things at her, and she didn't hear him leave until the hatch clicked shut.

It felt like only seconds later that the hatch was opening back up. Kara shifted to watch Sam take a few steps into the room and stop dead in tracks. "Hi," Kara said, a shy smile on her lips.

"He told me but I didn't believe him," Sam stuttered.

"Well, believe."

"Cottle said you weren't going to wake up."

"That old bastard is too grumpy for optimism," Kara joked. The air fell silent around them, and she could feel an awkwardness creeping in along with reality. This was a man she had only known for ten days, and those ten days were well over a year earlier. "Are you just going to stand there like an idiot or what?"

Sam smiled, and Kara could tell that had been the right thing to say. For a second, she thought he was expecting her to say she loved him or she missed him or she was so glad he was here. She _was_ glad he was here, though. She had made a promise to him.

Kara laid her hands carefully in her lap as Anders took a seat on the bed. "Cottle says that I'm going to be just fine. He says that with time and a whole lot of patience he knows I don't have, I can get back in the air."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't think there are other options," Kara decided.

"You can come down to the New Caprica. A lot of the people you served with have made their way down there, and they seem to be content. There's a lot of work needing to be done for the settlement movement. The former President has even been talking about setting up a school for the children. I'm sure she would love your help."

"And what about you?"

"I would love to have you down there with me, Kara. It would be like a dream."

Kara smirked. "You didn't think I was going to wake up."

"I lost hope," Anders admitted.

"But you still came to see me every week. I know it couldn't have been easy."

"I had help."

Kara's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Who?"

"Commander Adama."

Again, it took her a moment to realize who Anders was talking about. "Lee?"

"Yeah, Lee. He did a lot of things for me that he didn't have to, Kara. He helped me find a place in the Fleet when I came back from Caprica. He kept me updated to what was happening with you in those first few weeks when only top military personnel were allowed to see you. Then, when Cottle decided you were stable, he sent a Raptor down to the planet to get me as often as I asked him to. Most times when I came to visit you in the sickbay, he was already there, holding your hand. He would get up and let me have as much time with you as I wanted."

Kara knew what Anders was trying to tell her. In his own way, he was trying to let her know that he still cared for her even though the time they had had was so short and so long ago. He was trying to tell her that he wanted to give them a try. But somehow the only thing she focused on out of his whole speech was the fact that Lee had been holding her hand in sickbay so often. Through the fallout of losing the Pegasus and going through the end of whatever he had had with Dee, he had found time to be by her side.

"Kara, I just want you to think about it."

Kara's eyes darted up to meet Sam's, and she realized she hadn't been listening. She couldn't tell him that. "I… will."

"Good. Galen Tyrol and his wife would love to have your help with the Union since it is so new, and I know that the boys from the pyramid team would love to go a few rounds with you. Of course, that wouldn't be until you're feeling better, but the way these people talk about you that won't be that far off."

Kara felt a huge sense of relief as she realized Sam had been asking her to move down to New Caprica again. She would have felt stupid if she just told him she would consider marrying him or something equally ridiculous.

"Gods, Kara. I really didn't think you'd pull it off that day you said you'd come back. Even when Helo showed up, I still didn't believe."

"A girl keeps her promises even if she's in a coma."

"That's something to be admired," Anders said, giving her a wink.

Kara felt her whole body tense as she watched his eyes drift to her lips. He looked like he was two steps away from kissing her. Didn't he know she was way too fragile to be doing anything like that? A little tiny voice in the back of her head pointed out that Cottle said she could pretty much do anything right now in moderation.

Sam was still staring at her with the look in his eyes as Kara realized the problem wasn't in him wanting to kiss her. The problem was all her because, after not seeing him for so long, shouldn't she want him to want to kiss her?

Kara let herself look for him for the first time since he stepped in Lee's quarters. He looked good, healthy. At the very least, he had made it through his days on Cylon-occupied Caprica mostly intact. Memories of the days they had spent together flashed through Kara's head, and she remembered how much it had meant to her to have him in her life at that particular moment. She had been hurting pretty bad back then.

She wasn't stupid, though. Anders had helped fixed the pain inside her, but it hadn't all been his doing. When she first met him, she had still been on the high of having discovered Karl was alive. Helo had been her closet friend during her two years on Galactica along with Boomer. It was amazing to see that he had found a way to stay alive.

She felt like her heart was breaking when she had to leave Anders behind. He had represented a whole new start for her, and that was something she had waited a long time to get. Coming home to the Old Man and Lee killed the pain of leaving that second chance behind. When they both welcomed her with open arms and surprisingly open hearts, the ache that had been killing her weeks earlier melted away.

Sure, she was faltering in the weeks before her accident. The memory of the promise she had made haunted her day and night. She couldn't get away from the look on Anders' face when she left him. He believed she would come back.

"Can I ask you a question, Kara?"

Kara snapped away from her thoughts and realized Anders had been staring at her for probably the whole time she was thinking. "Go ahead," she said after a moment's hesitance.

"Who is Lee to you? I mean, I know he was your superior officer, and he's obviously your friend considering everything he's done for you so far, but to you specifically, who is he?"

"He's…" Kara's voice faded as she realized she really didn't know what to say. Sam had already hit on the two easy answers. Lee was her boss, and he was her friend. Still, that didn't explain why she wasn't all the shocked to find he had taken care of her for well over eight months.

"He loves you," Anders whispered. "Anyone could see that."

Kara nodded. Lee had told her out right in his own way that he loved her.

"But do you honestly realize how much, Kara?"

His question took her by surprise. Two minutes ago, he looked like he couldn't fight back the urge to kiss her, and now he was trying to get her to realize that Lee loved her. "I don't understand why you doing this, Sam."

Sam seemed to ignore her and trudged forward on the path to whatever point he was aiming to make. "Joining this Fleet without you around has been rather interesting, Kara. I think I've figured out a lot of things I might never have understood if things were different."

"If I was awake, you mean."

"Yeah," Anders said, with a nod, "that's exactly what I mean. All the pilots who've settled on New Caprica talk about is the good old days when Apollo and Starbuck were king and queen of the sky. If I didn't actually know you two, I'd think you were some kind of mythical demi-gods or something."

"We were pretty good," Kara said, the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile as memories of flying with Lee surfaced.

"There was also a lot of gossip on whether or not the good Commander was in love with you. After you were in the coma for a few months, most people had their answer. He only left your side when he had to. Back when Pegasus was around, he came over here on every off-shift he had, and then when Pegasus was gone and he was on the same ship as you, he spent every moment he wasn't in the CIC or meetings by your bedside." Anders paused. "You already know this, don't you?"

Kara nodded. She had expected that from Lee. He was the kind of person who would worry about you to the point of killing himself. She had seen it time and again back when Zak was still alive. Lee was constantly calling her and asking how his little brother was faring in flight classes. She was surprised that after he heard about the accident that claimed his little brother, he never accused her of underplaying how bad Zak was doing.

"Then you know about the physical therapy."

"I know that I owe thank yous to a lot of people for giving me the chance to move around as soon as I woke up."

"Not really."

"You don't think I need to show my gratitude?"

Anders shook his head. "I don't think you have to track down a lot of people. Frak, Kara. I thought you said you knew everything already."

"I thought I did. Lee said that I'm this well off because he told Cottle to push up the time table on my physical therapy."

"He did do that," Anders agreed. "Cottle doubled the frequency of the massages you were getting to keep your muscles active, and he even allowed the pressure to be increased when your muscles started strengthening."

"So why shouldn't I thank the people who did all that?" Kara asked.

"Because it wasn't people, Kara. It was person. From practically day one, it's been Lee giving you your physical therapy. That's why Cottle was so willing to let the Commander move you into his quarters when things settled down, and that's why Lee didn't alert the whole Fleet that you were awake until you were back in bed. He knew how to handle you waking up because he's had to handle you sleeping for month upon month."

"He didn't tell me that," Kara whispered.

"I had a feeling." Anders reached out to grasp her hand for a moment before getting to his feet. "I'm a good guy, Kara. If I win your heart, I want it to be because that's what _you_ want. I don't want it to be because you didn't know the rest of the story." Anders leaned in and brushed a kiss across the top of her head. "Get some sleep. I'll be back to see you as soon as I can."

As Kara watched Anders walk out the hatch, she remembered a little bit about what had attracted her to him in the first place. He was right to say he was a good guy, but she wasn't sure if that was what she needed. Everything was a jumble, and it didn't feel like things were going to stop spinning anytime soon.

oooooOOOOOOOOooooo

Kara woke up to a sharp pain on her right side. Pushing her eyes open, she realized she had been sleeping on her bandaged arm. She tried to be careful as she shifted her weight off the bad arm, and it was because she was moving so slowly that she didn't wake up the man sleeping in the chair next to the bed. "Lee?" she whispered. Her words stirred the man almost immediately and she realized that this wasn't Lee. He was too tall.

"Sleeping beauty awakens," Helo said, smiling as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'd say," Kara replied with a smirk. "What the frak are you doing here, Karl?"

"You didn't expect me?"

"I thought that Cottle would be restricting my visitors until I was more used to being out of this fraking coma."

"Ah. I missed that colorful language." Helo sighed and got to his feet. "I should let the Commander know that you're awake. He's in the middle of a CIC shift that he couldn't get out of."

"No, don't bother, Lee. Me waking up isn't a life-altering event."

Helo rolled his eyes. "Maybe not to you, Kara, but to a lot of people, it is."

Kara was left to puzzle over what exactly that meant as Helo walked to the other side of the bed. He picked up the receiver and requested a line to the CIC. Kara watched him have a very short conversation presumable with Lee and was about to ask him why he was here again when he held up his hand to stop her. "One more call," he insisted.

Kara listened as Helo now requested a line down to the planet. It took her a second to remember that the planet was New Caprica and not one of the original Twelve Colonies. There was too many changes for her to remember right now. She was still trying to adjust.

"Felix. I need a favor." Helo smiled. "Yeah it has something to do with Kara. Doesn't everything these days?"

Kara felt herself scowl. She didn't like the way this "one more call" was going.

"Send someone down to Laura's school to tell the Admiral that Kara's woken up, and tell him that she'll probably feel up to seeing him…" Helo glanced over her, and Kara shrugged. "…this afternoon. She should be lucid by then." Helo chuckled again. "Yeah, I think we all remember how long it takes."

Helo talked for a few more minutes before setting the receiver down.

"You're being awful dramatic about something as simple as me waking up." Kara was about to laugh at the absurdity of it when she caught the look in Helo's eyes.

"Kara, you've been sleeping for forty something hours now."

Kara felt a sudden weight push into her almost like she had been punched in the gut. The room suddenly got hot as her eyes clouded over. Helo was at her side in seconds. "Kara, what's happening?"

"I'm not feeling so good," she mumbled.

Helo sat down next to her and used his arms to help hold her upright. "Everything's okay, Kara. Cottle says your body is just trying to get used to being awake again. Even though you probably feel like you've slept enough for the next decade, that's the only thing your body's going to want right now."

"But forty hours?" Kara choked out. "That's over three days."

"The Commander seems to think we were pushing too fast."

Kara felt something click into place when Helo mentioned the man whose bedroom she was currently living in. "That's why Lee wanted to know when I woke up."

"He was worried we lost you again."

Kara nodded. She had no idea how to process that bit of information. "And Anders? Does he need to be told I'm awake?"

Helo shook his head. "I suggested that he be left out of this one. He's in the middle of building a new structure down on Caprica so he wouldn't be able to come up and visit you anyway. I figured if you still weren't awake in a few days, then we'd tell him."

"Always the rational one," Kara teased. She leaned her head down onto his shoulders. "So, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"What are you doing here, Karl?"

"I'm one of the few people the two Adamas trust to watch over you. They tend to cut my shifts short when they can't be around and someone has to watch over you."

"Your shifts?"

"I'm the tactical officer on Galactica now that Gaeta's been appointed Baltar's aide. I declined moving down to the surface when it became an option. I didn't want to leave Sharon up here by herself."

Memories of Kara's old friend who wasn't really her friend came slamming back into her. "I forgot," Kara whispered.

"About Sharon?"

She nodded and pointed to her head. "Things are still fuzzy up there."

They returned to the comfortable silence that had always defined their relationship, and Kara let out a sigh. It was nice to know that Karl would be right around the corner. Having him here while she fought her way back to one hundred percent was an immeasurable gift from the gods.

"I don't know what to do, Karl," she whispered after some time.

"About what?"

"Sam." Kara waited a moment before adding, "And Lee."

"Ah. Yes, that is a problem." Helo sighed. "Well, Sam's been pretty understanding about how much Lee wants to protect you, and Lee's been very patient with the fact that another man is waiting in the wings to take you away."

"Am I going somewhere?"

"I don't know," Helo answered honestly. "Either way, there's going to be a change. Your life is going to change with Sam in it."

"I don't want it to change." Kara bit her lip. "And I think that's the real problem."

"He's asked you to give up flying." Karl felt her head nod slightly against his shoulder. "I figured he would. He's really happy down on that surface. A lot of people are, including some of the pilots and crew you've worked with. It's a good life."

"It sounds really nice."

"But you don't want to give up flying," Helo said, voicing the unspoken half of her statement.

"Is it that obvious?"

Helo shook his head. "No, it's not. A lot of people who had your passion for flying gave it up when New Caprica was discovered so I've learned to assume nothing and expect anything."

"But you knew that I wasn't going to want to give it up?" Kara pulled her head off Helo's shoulder to look up at him. She didn't have to look very hard to see that she was right. He had known she wouldn't want to go down to New Caprica. "How?"

Helo let out a deep breath. "The Commander, you, and I, we're all the same, Kara. Flying is in our blood. This life is in our blood."

"This life was in a lot of people's blood like you said," Kara pointed out.

"But there's something holding the three of us here," Helo insisted. "For me, it's Sharon. For Lee, it's you and his father."

"And for me?"

"That's up to you to decide," Helo replied. He waited a moment and then pulled back to look at her. "Feeling better?"

Kara nodded. She didn't feel like she was going to pass out anymore, that was for sure. Too bad her head was pounding with all the damn thinking she was going to have to do.

Helo's eyes landed on the clock on the table, and he got to his feet. "He's not going to hate you if you decide with him isn't where you want to be."

Kara's face steeled for a brief second, just long enough for Helo to see the beginning glimmers of Starbuck somewhere deep inside, and then she went back to being torn. "I don't want to hurt him."

"There's nothing you can do about that."

"I care about him so much, Karl. He was there for me when I had no one else to turn to."

Helo nodded and softly patted the top of her. "That, my dear Kara, is what makes it hard."

"I just… he deserves a lot more than that."

"We all deserve a lot more than what we have, but until the Cylons are gone, that's not going to happen. We need to get what we can when we can. Those are the only words you need to focus on right now, Kara. Think them over and then do what your heart tells you to do."

"Even if it means hurting him?"

Helo nodded, and when he saw Kara retreat back into her thoughts, he turned to leave. He almost made it to the hatch when something she said suddenly sunk in. He paused and glanced back over his shoulder. There was Kara Thrace, his warrior woman, looking so fragile and yet so strong at the same time, and yet she still wasn't as worried about what she had to do as he thought she would be. He watched her for a few seconds before deciding he was right. Something was off about their little conversation, and he had a feeling he knew exactly what that was. "Kara?"

She looked up at him immediately. "What?"

"Who were you talking about before? When you were saying how scared you were that you would hurt him?"

"Anders," she replied without pause. "Why?"

Helo paused for a second and wondered if he should really be doing this with Kara right now. She was still a little on the weak side. But she was staring up at him so confused and so expectant that he knew he had no choice. "I was talking about Commander Adama."

"Lee?"

Helo nodded and then shrugged. "Maybe that's the answer you were looking for." He held Kara's gaze for a few extra seconds and then shut the hatch behind himself.

Kara let herself fall back on the bed. Her eyes roamed the ceiling of the XO's quarters as she tried to come to terms with the fact that she had never considered saying goodbye to Lee as a viable option, not for one second. She had no idea what that meant.

oooooOOOOOOOOooooo

It was hours later when Kara finally pulled herself away from her thoughts long enough to realize something wasn't right. She was still confused about a lot of things, but the length of CIC shifts was not one of them. No commanding officer was scheduled for more than six hours on the boards without at least a small break. Lee hadn't come to check on her the whole time she was trying to wade through her thoughts. Something was wrong.

Kara got to her feet. Her legs were still incredibly shaky and she was pretty sure Cottle would tell her that she was doing damage to all the therapy she had had, but she didn't care. Biting away the pain, she pushed her right foot forward. She waited until the pain dulled and then pushed her left foot to meet her right.

It was in this slow manner that she made it across the bedroom and into the adjoining office. The sight waiting for her tugged at her heart.

Lee was fast asleep on the couch in his office.

Kara started to walk forward and decided her slow movement was only an opportunity to get a good look at Lee. He had changed into sweats at some point and had a blanket tucked around his body. Kara realized with a start that he must have been doing this from practically the day he was given these quarters. She had been sleeping in his bed after all.

She let her eyes search his face, and she came back unsure of what she was seeing. He looked at peace, relaxed in this small amount of slumber he had managed to grab. Yet there were dark circles under his eyes and Kara watched him twist a little bit underneath the blanket. His body was restless.

There was a pile of papers down by the head of the couch. Kara stooped down to take a closer look and smiled when she recognized the flight schedules Lee was obviously in charge of approving now that he was XO. Of course he would have work to do even when he was off-shift.

Kara reached out to brush through Lee's hair. She could feel her smile growing. It felt like forever since the last time she watched Lee sleep. She and Lee had bunked across from each other since the first day he got stranded on Galactica, and she had spent many nights calming down by listening to the rhythm of his breath and watching the wrinkles of worry in his face finally melt away.

Lee let out a small moan in his sleep, and Kara noticed for the first time that his worry wrinkles were definitely still there. He was troubled about something.

Her knees started to twinge against the stress of standing. Kara had ignored the pain for as long as she could. Her hand drifted away from touching Lee, and she turned to go back to her bed. One look at the distance she had traveled to get to the couch told her the obvious. She wasn't going to make it back to that bed on her own.

Kara looked back down at Lee. She would be willing to bet that this was the first rest he had had time to take in a long while. She honestly didn't have it in her heart to wake him.

She moved her hand to pull the blanket up over his shoulder and was about to take a seat on the ground when Lee shifted. His cheek nuzzled against her fingers almost as if he knew it was her watching over him.

Smiling, Kara took a seat on the edge of the couch and, after a moment, stretched her body out alongside his. Lee didn't wake up, but he did shift the blanket up to cover them both. Kara found herself wondering how familiar he was with having women lay down with him on this couch that he would automatically accept her presence. That got her to thinking about all the things she had missed while in a coma.

There was still so much to be covered, especially in terms of Lee. That had been one of the few things Lee was tight-lipped about. For some reason, he didn't want to talk about what he had been doing the whole year she was out. Kara found herself wondering if maybe another woman had risen up to take Dee's place in his life. Maybe Lee was just too much of a gentleman to tell her. Maybe the woman snuck into his quarters every night to share the couch with him, and that's why he reacted to her so naturally.

One softly spoken word from Lee was all it took to clear her conscious. "Kara."

She bit down on her lip to keep from smiling so wide that she woke up the man next to her. Sometimes she could overthink things just as badly as Lee did. Her mind was her worst enemy.

Kara tightened her arm around his waist and sighed. She couldn't believe it ended up being this easy, but it was.

With one simple word, her choice was made.

She was just going to have to get Lee to send for Anders in the morning. Then she would explain that her heart was never free when she tried to give it to him. Hopefully, he would understand. From the way Sam spoke, he knew that Lee cared for her a whole lot. She just hoped that Sam was as observant when to it came to seeing how much she felt for Lee. It would make it easier if he understood what most of the Fleet already knew.

"Kara?" This time Lee's voice was harsh and husky. He was awake. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

For a second, she thought he might actually listen to her, but then she remembered how Lee never did what she wanted him to. "Why are you laying on me?"

"Because I walked across your quarters and was too tired to go back."

That seemed to hit home. Lee's eyes flew open. "We're on my couch."

"You fell asleep here," Kara offered.

"And you were… what were you doing?"

"I was checking on you. I was worried when you didn't check on me after your shift was over."

"I didn't want to disturb you. Helo said you had a hard afternoon."

"Helo should have known I'd want to see you," Kara scolded.

"I'll let him know he's stupid."

Kara bit her lip to keep from laughing. She forgot how big of a riot Lee could be when he wasn't completely with it. He was amazingly entertaining when his defenses were down.

Once the urge to laugh had died down, Kara felt the urge to sleep kick back in. Helo was right. All her body wanted to do these days was sleep. She let herself focus on the gentle rise and fall of Lee's chest and the warmth of having him so close. It was soothing.

She was on the verge of falling asleep when she felt his hand push the hair out of her face. Raising her head, she found that he was staring at her. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi."

The silence hung between them as they both continued to stare. "I made a decision today."

"When you were unconscious?"

"No, after," she said, shaking her head and settling back into his side.

"And what was this decision about?"

"I want to fly again. I know Cottle doesn't seem very optimistic so I may need your help. This place is my home. It's the only place I've ever felt safe, and I'm not ready to give that up. Other people might be at that point, but I'm not one of those people. Flying is in my blood."

"So you're staying in the sky?"

"I'm staying in the sky," she said, smiling at the look of hope in his eyes. They weren't talking about the sky, and they both knew it.

"You can stay here in my quarters as long as you want," Lee offered tentatively.

"Thanks," Kara said. She felt Lee's arms tighten around her and sighed. There was a long struggle in her future, but she had a feeling she could do it. The memories would come back in time, and until they did, she would just build new ones with Lee.


	69. Wall

_Lee wasn't sure when the walls inside himself started to match up with the walls inside of her._

oooooooOOOOOOoooooooo

Lee volunteered for the job when it became obvious that they were going to need more information from Kobol. After all, with his marriage dissolved and Pegasus no longer around, he didn't have many things to hold him back.

He had argued with his father for hours before William Adama agreed that he had a point. With the integration of the Pegasus crew into Galactica, there really was no place for him. He wasn't about to dethrone Tigh in the XO position, and he didn't think he could go back to just being CAG.

Everyone knew what it meant when he took this mission. They were so far from Kobol that it would take a miracle for a person to go all the way out there and then back. This was the most basic of suicide missions. Lee figured he was good at those. He couldn't even remember a time anymore when he didn't want to leave this life behind.

A spark of memory of the night before he left the Fleet hit him from nowhere, and he smiled. There was one moment where he had thought he might have a reason to keep fighting.

Lee was pulled back into the present as the space in front of him ripped open. A Raptor floated through until it was beside him. Lee breathed a sigh of relief as he grabbed his pressure suit. It was rather unnerving to be floating in space with barely any power, just waiting and hoping that everything stayed according to plan.

He opened his ramp and smiled when he saw Racetrack standing across the void. He pushed off his dead ship and coasted the few feet into her waiting arms. The ramp slapped shut behind him, and Lee felt Edmondson's fingers helping him unhook his helmet.

Lee's eyes drifted to the cockpit. It was a relief to see Showboat there, piloting the ship, but a part of him was disappointed. He had had a foolish hope.

"Good to see you, sir," Racetrack said, taking her ECO seat.

Lee nodded and slipped into the co-pilot's chair. "So what'd you lose to get the job of collecting me?"

Case shook her head with a smile. "Both Racetrack and I won something in fact."

"There was a lot of people who wanted to bring you back, sir. It seems the Fleet's rather enamored with you."

"There was a drawing of names. We're the lucky winners," Showboat finished.

Lee turned to look out at the stars as he felt the familiar jolt of the FTL drive engaging. He couldn't really wrap his head around there being so many people wanting him to come back. He knew he ran a good ship back when the Pegasus was around, but he wasn't aware there was that much loyalty from his crew. "How long until we're home?"

"Ten, eleven hours," Racetrack replied. "I suggest you get some rest, sir. There are quite a few people who are going to want to see you when we get back."

Images… memories… surfaced within Lee of all the people he had left behind to go on this mission. He felt the familiar tug of nerves at the pit of his stomach.

Following Racetrack's suggestion, Lee let his eyes shut. He had been flying for over twenty-four hours straight before reaching the rendezvous point.

He wasn't surprised when his thoughts drifted to her. Like always, it was memories of their last moments together that consumed him.

oooooooOOOOOOoooooooo

Lee had been staring at the bunk above him for over an hour. This was the only place he really had to go anymore to think. The quarters he had briefly shared with Dee were now another couple's home. The pilots' break room was never really an option if you wanted quiet. The observation deck was reserved for less solitary needs. The Chief was doing a major overhaul on the Vipers so the hangar bay was even more chaotic than normal.

All Lee had was this small bunkroom that no matter how hard he tried didn't seem like home.

That was when he heard the hatch slid open. He didn't move. Whomever it was would be in and out in a few seconds. His bunkmates were intimidated by the fact that they had to share with the Admiral's son, but this was the only spot for him to go so he couldn't fix that. He would need time which was something he did not have.

When he heard the hatch click shut but no other movement, he finally twisted his head to see who it was. "Kara?" Her eyes stayed locked with his as she pushed off the closed hatch, only really breaking away for the few seconds it took to dog the hatch. "What's going on?" he asked in confusion.

Kara walked the few feet it took to stand in front of his bunk and knelt down on the floor beside him. "I got the pilots to agree to give us a few hours."

Lee wanted to desperately ask for what, but the look she was giving him made him keep his mouth shut. Kara slid into the bunk beside him, stretching her body alongside his. He wrapped his arms around her on instinct and was happy when she leaned into his touch. He hadn't misinterpreted her.

Lee wasn't sure when the walls inside himself started to match up with the walls inside of her, but it felt like they were all crumbling down at once.

They laid that way for what felt like an eternity.

A small sniffle broke through the quiet, and Lee realized that Kara was crying. "What's wrong?"

"Why do you have to be so stupid?" she whispered, turning to look up at him.

Lee felt her grab a fistful of his tanks and then she was everywhere, assaulting his senses as she kissed him as soundly as she could. A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that Kara was a married woman these days. She shouldn't be doing this no matter if he was going on a suicide mission or not. She deserved a right to be happy. Another voice pointed out that she seemed pretty happy right now.

Lee decided he had earned the right to have this last selfish act and hoped he wouldn't cause Kara pain from taking it. He ran his hands underneath the back of her tanks. Her skin was hot to the touch.

Kara shifted until she was on top of him. Her thighs tightened around his waist, and she pulled back to sit up. Lee watched in awe as she slid her tanks off her body and threw them to the ground. For a second, he forgot about everything but this woman currently offering herself to him.

The choice was so simple that he didn't hesitate. He pulled her down to kiss him again. They only broke away to shed the remaining pieces of clothing coming between them.

It was slow and sweet, nothing like they had ever had together before. They both knew that this was probably it. This was the last time they would be able to see each other, to touch each other, and so when Lee pushed himself inside of her, he made it as drawn out as he could.

This was it for him. This had always been it.

oooooooOOOOOOoooooooo

Lee felt himself stir awake and looked around the Raptor. There must have been something telling in his eyes because Showboat and Racetrack both looked away the second they realized he was awake.

Lee shifted his attention to space as the rest of that night came back in mind. He made love to Kara for the few precious hours she had given him. He had shown her his heart for as long as his body would hold up and then some.

When he woke up to the clatter of his bunkmates coming off shift, he wasn't surprised to find himself alone in the bunk. Kara never did like goodbyes.

And so he left the Fleet on this mission that he wasn't going to come back from.

"We're almost there, sir," Showboat said, breaking into his thoughts.

"I was out for that long?"

"It seems Fleet saving missions take a lot out of you," Racetrack joked.

Lee felt the pull of FTL, and he didn't have to ask to know this was the last jump. His vision went white, and then the Fleet was in front of him. His eyes zeroed in on Galactica by instinct. It was his home.

"Galactica, this is Raptor 569. I am pleased to report we have the mission objective on board."

Lee couldn't fight back the grin when he heard the cheering filtering through the open comm. It sounded like the whole crew was in the CIC.

"Raptor 569, you are cleared for landing. Also, I have a message from Galactica Actual."

"Proceed," Racetrack said, a small look of worry passing between her and Showboat. It was always unnerving to have the attention of the Fleet's highest ranking officer on you even in situations like this.

"Message reads don't you two frak this up now that you're home."

Showboat switched on her comm. "You tell Galactica Actual that I'm about to give him a textbook landing."

Lee leaned back in his chair and just enjoyed the ride as Case took him into his home. They set down on the floor of the landing tube as smoothly as promised, and Lee let out a sigh of relief. Now they just had to wait a few minutes to get lifted into the hangar bay and he would finally have his feet back on Galactica.

"We should probably give him a quick update," Racetrack said, slipping out of her ECO chair.

Showboat nodded. "Let's see. There's not much change with your father. He's been out of his mind with worry about you, Apollo, but I'm sure you knew that. The XO surprisingly has also been worried. He finally cut the booze out of his life so I guess that returned most of the humanity he's been lacking the past few years."

"We think he sobered up for the Old Man's sake," Racetrack added.

Lee nodded. He may have had his share of differences with the Colonel in the past, but he knew when push came to shove, Saul Tigh was one of the few people his father trusted.

"Sharon's been let out of her cell on a trial basis. She's proven herself trustworthy a million times while you've been gone, and so the Old Man's given her a few privileges."

"She deserves it," Lee agreed, thinking back to how she helped plan his return trip to Kobol. The mission had gone by without one problem, and he knew that was mostly due to Sharon.

"Helo and Starbuck have been splitting the CAG duties. It's easier that way now that there are so many pilots to keep track of," Racetrack reported.

"How are they doing?" Lee asked.

The question didn't seem odd or out of place to Racetrack and Showboat. It was common knowledge that Kara and Karl were close to Lee.

"Helo's doing fine," Racetrack offered. "He's trying to convince the Old Man to let him marry Sharon. It's rather bizarre how no one finds that out of the question. I guess we've all gotten used to their relationship over the last few years."

"Starbuck's doing okay, too," Showboat said, picking up where Racetrack left off. "She's thrown herself into her work since her marriage ended."

Lee's eyes went wide. "I don't understand."

"I know. We were all surprised. Kara and Sam were always so happy together, and then one day, he filed for divorce. There was a rumor going around that it was because she was unfaithful, but Kara's been so tight-lipped that I don't think we'll ever know why her marriage truly ended."

Lee did his best not to react. He knew immediately that he had something to do with her marriage ending. It was just too much of a coincidence that there would be rumors of adultery after what had happened between them.

The Raptor shifted to a stop. They were in the hangar bay.

"Is that about it with the update?" Lee asked, getting to his feet.

"It'll get you through the next hour or so, I think," Racetrack replied. She hit the controls to lower the ramp and turned to smile at her commanding officer. "Welcome home, sir."

Lee stepped down the ramp and saw the whole hangar bay had stopped what they were doing. The applause and cheers were deafening, but Lee wasn't really paying attention. His eyes were locked on the man standing front and center to greet him. Forgetting any sort of propriety, Lee wrapped his arms around his father and held tight. Their relationship had been bruised so many times in his life, but it didn't matter anymore.

"I got what we were looking for," Lee whispered in his father's ear as they continued to hold tight to one another.

"That can wait," Adama replied, finally pulling back to take a good look at his son. "For now, why don't you go get changed? I left some clothes for you in the shared quarters you used to live in. I figured you might want some space after being cooped up so long."

"Are you sure you don't want my report first?"

Adama shook his head. "Save your report. We're probably going to be in meetings talking about what you found for the next few months so get the rest while you can."

Lee felt his father squeeze his shoulder one last time, and then he was making his way out of the hangar bay and into the corridors. It was odd how he could recall every inch of this ship. It had been over a year since he was last here, and yet it still felt like home.

The hatch to his old shared quarters slid open with a familiar creak. Lee stepped over the threshold and immediately peeled off his flight suit. He had been wearing that thing for far too long of a time.

Lee was about to shrug off the rest of his clothing and take advantage of the personal shower he knew was in this quarters when his eyes caught on something completely unexpected.

Kara was sitting on the bed, hands folded in her lap. Her eyes rose to meet his and went wide.

Lee didn't know what came over him. He knew this was the last thing he should be doing, but he couldn't stop his body. Kara squeaked in surprise as he pulled her off the bed and into his arms. His lips met hers in a kiss he had spent so many night imagining. It only took her a few seconds to understand what was happening, and when she did, Lee could feel her melt into his touch.

The need for oxygen was what finally broke them apart.

Kara's hands still clutched his arms as a small smile played at the corner of her lips. "I still think you're incredibly stupid even if you came back alive," she reminded him.

Lee smirked and went to kiss her again. This time she pulled back from him, and Lee felt his heart freeze. She was just happy to have him home and nothing more. He started berating himself. This wasn't his damn fantasy. It was reality, and reality with Kara was always painful.

"There's something I need to tell you, Lee," Kara whispered, pulling away from him.

Lee nodded and sat down on the bed. He had a feeling this was about Anders. He could feel there was more to the story than Racetrack or Showboat were willing to let on.

Kara started pacing next to the bed, and Lee knew she was doing her best to gather her thoughts. He silently wondered what could be so bad that she hesitated on how to tell him.

"Kara," he said, softly.

She skidded to a halt and looked at him, eyes full of fear. "Lee, I have-"

A loud cry bit through the air, cutting her words short. If it was possible, Lee saw the worry in her eyes increase. "Oh gods," she said, ducking past where he sat and rushing into the adjoined room.

Lee waited a moment and then stood up and followed. What he saw made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the hatchway. Kara was rocking a baby in her arms as gentle words of soothing fell from her lips. She looked up at him and smiled. "Come here."

Lee made his way to stand cautiously beside Kara. His eyes rested on the baby. It had a small mop of dark hair and was currently sucking lightly on its thumb with shining eyes. There was no more crying.

"This is Leila, my daughter," Kara whispered softly. "And, Leila, this is Lee, but I don't want you to get used to calling him that."

"What should she call me?" Lee asked, leaning in to touch the little girl's cheek with the tip of his finger. She was the cutest baby he had ever seen.

Kara turned her attention away from her daughter and waited until Lee looked up at her. "I was hoping Daddy."

Lee's eyes went wide. "She's… she's mine?"

"She was born about eight months after you left, seven months after I dissolved my marriage bans, and one month earlier than we were expecting."

"We?"

"Your father and I," Kara said before turning her attention back to her daughter. "Because Grandpa's been helping me a lot this past year, hasn't he?" Kara set the little girl back down in her crib and turned to face Lee. "So now you know what I was trying to tell you out there."

Lee rubbed his eyes as the newness of being home wore off and fatigue started setting in. He had a million questions in his head right now, but only one seemed to be on his lips. "So I was the reason Anders divorced you?"

"Yes and no," Kara said. She looked down at Leila and, satisfied that her daughter was at peace, motioned for Lee to follow her into the other room. Sitting down on the bed, she sighed. "My marriage to Sam was on its way out before you decided to go on that mission. I came to you the night before you left to tell you that. I wanted to beg you to stay, but I couldn't. I had no right. When you left, I decided to give my marriage one last shot, but then I found out I was pregnant. When I told Sam… it wasn't pretty. A few days later, we were in front of a priestess asking for a divorce."

"Showboat said there were rumors of adultery."

Kara nodded. "That was the only reason I could use to get my bans dissolved."

They fell back into silence as Lee tried to wrap his head around what she was telling him. After a moment, he reached out to grasp her hand and let out a deep sigh. "Here's what I don't understand, I wasn't the biggest fan of Samuel Anders, but I thought he was a pretty nice guy. I would have imagined he'd want to stick by you through your pregnancy. I mean, the odds weren't in my favor for returning."

"He offered to support me," Kara confirmed. "I told him no."

"Why?"

"I knew from the moment Cottle told me I was with child that it was either raise this baby with you or do it on my own. I didn't want anyone else." She felt Lee lift her hand up to his lips and brush a light kiss across the back. "I knew I would have help. I mean, I had both the Old Man and Karl. They weren't you, but they were definitely the next best thing."

Lee let his eyes roam every inch of Kara as she sat beside him. A blush came over her skin almost immediately. There were changes in her appearance that he hadn't noticed before. Her hair was short again, and her body bore the signs of motherhood. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it. "Can I see Leila again?"

Kara nodded, and Lee could tell it pleased her that he wanted to see his daughter. He suddenly realized she was still nervous about this. For some reason, that was endearing.

Lee watched his daughter sleep for what felt like hours until he heard the phone buzz in the other room. Even then, he didn't move. Kara stepped back into the hatch after a minute. "That was your father. He needs your informal report."

Lee nodded and, as much as it hurt, pulled himself away from his daughter. Kara turned to step back into the other room with him, but Lee caught her arm. "There's something I want to make clear," he whispered, his eyes darting into the quiet nursery. "I want to be a part of this little girl's life. Even more than that, I want to be a part of our daughter's life with you. Because I love you, Kara. I always have."

Kara bit her lip to keep the tears from falling and managed a small nod.

"When I'm finished giving my report, I'm going to talk to my father about moving into these quarters with you."

"Lee, you and I both know that regulations require the couples sharing these quarters to be permanently joined to one another," Kara gently reminded him.

"I remember," Lee said, smiling down at her.

It took Kara a second to realize what was happening, and when it finally dawned on her, she could feel her eyes go wide. "Are you…"

"…proposing? Yes. I want to marry you more than anything in the world, Kara, and I'm tired of having to be rational about it. I'm tired of taking things slow. I've loved you forever, and I love our daughter. If I had nothing else, that would be enough. So what do you say, Captain? Marry me?"

"It's Major now," Kara pointed out before she broke out with a smile, "and yes."

Lee swept her up off her feet and gave her the best kiss he could muster.

"I'm so glad you came back to me," she whispered when he finally set her back on the ground.

Lee was about to tell her that he was never going to leave again when a wail from the other room interrupted them. Kara pushed away from him. "I'll get her. Get changed and go to your briefing, Lee."

Lee watched her pick up their daughter and settle into the chair next to the crib before he moved to change into the clothes laid out on the bed. He walked back to the hatchway as he was zipping up his sweatshirt and saw that Kara hadn't moved. She was still rocking Leila back to sleep. "You'll be here when I get back?" he asked.

Kara nodded. "We're not going anywhere."

Lee walked over to where she sat and leaned down to give his daughter's tiny nose a kiss. He brushed a kiss on the top of Kara's head and then made his way out of the quarters that would be his home.

He had left this place a year earlier, having nothing to live for, and he came back with more than he ever thought he'd have. Silently, he thanked the gods for watching over him when it really mattered.


	70. Highway

_The highway stretched out in front of Lee as he drove his brother and the new girlfriend back to the Picon Academy, but nevertheless he found himself silently thankful for the long stretch of road and the fact that Zak had been fast asleep for the last few hours of conversation._

The highway stretched out in front of Lee as he drove his brother and the new girlfriend back to the Picon Academy, but nevertheless he found himself silently thankful for the long stretch of road and the fact that Zak had been fast asleep for the last few hours of conversation.

This Kara Thrace was different. That was what his little brother kept telling him time and time again, but Lee honestly didn't believe it until now.

He turned his head to look at the woman in the passenger seat beside him. She was just as attractive as Zak's previous girlfriends even if it was in a less in-your-face kind of way. Zak said there was just something about her that was different, but Lee had yet to put his finger on what that was.

Kara was gesturing wildly, telling some story about her perfect simulator run back when she was a student. Lee found himself chuckling at her enthusiasm. He could remember back when he had stories to say that got him just as worked up. That was before his father left the family and he had to step up and be the man of the house.

Kara collapsed in a fit of giggle right in the middle of her story, and Lee's eyes darted up to the rearview mirror. He could not believe Zak was sleeping through this. They had been laughing and joking all the way in from the Picon countryside.

Lee looked over at Kara. She had gotten a hold of herself and was finishing up the second half of her story. He listened patiently as Kara proceeded to tell her tale using every possible form of the word frak and even some Lee had never heard before. Yeah, Kara was different, and Zak saw that as a good thing. But his baby brother had always been a little blind when it came to the important things, and this was no different.

Kara was a different type of girl from what Zak usually brought home, but she was familiar to Lee in a million unsaid ways. She might not be his baby brother's idea of what a girl should be, but for Lee, she was perfect.

Lee had no clue how, but Zak had managed to snag his big brother's dream girl. It was a good thing Lee loved his brother so fraking much.

"What are you staring at?"

Lee snapped back to the present and realized Kara was done with her story. "Sorry," he apologized, turning his attention back to the road. They were getting closer to the city.

"No problem," Kara said, laughing it off. Her eyes shifted to the side mirror. Zak was still sprawled across the back seat, dead to the world. She couldn't believe how easily he fell asleep. They had been in Lee's truck for only a few minutes before he passed out.

She stretched her legs out onto the dashboard and shut her eyes. Lee had rolled down the windows a few miles back, and the wind felt fantastic on this hot Picon day. There was a fresh smell to the air out here in the country that was never really there at the Academy. Zak had been smart to suggest they take this trip to see his brother.

Her nose caught a whiff of something familiar, and her mind went back to the memory of the guest bedroom she and Zak had spent the week bunking in. It had always smelled like clean laundry and grassy earth. She could feel the cool pillow against her cheek like she was still there.

A small sigh escaped her lips as she imagined the feel of Zak's arm coming around her. It would be so warm against the cool sheets. Kara felt herself shiver lightly at the idea. The sun was beating down on her skin as she felt his arm tighten and turn her to face him. She acted on instinct and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were softer than she remembered but more sure of what he was doing. She could feel his tongue running along her lower lip and giggled. It tickled.

She felt his smile against her lips and moved her hands up to run through his hair. It was getting long. She was about to tell him he needed a haircut when his hand pushed up the bottom of her shirt and skimmed the small inch of skin. She gasped, and he took advantage of her open mouth to deepen their kiss.

They kept a hold of each other, just kissing and smiling, for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, she felt him pull back and opened her eyes to see him beaming down at her, his blue eyes sparkling. "Morning, Kara," Lee whispered.

Kara snapped awake but managed not to jerk at all. She slowly turned to see Lee was watching the road. There was no way he could know what she had just dreamed.

She let herself look at him for probably the first real time since he picked them up a week earlier. His skin was tan from taking care of the farm. From what Zak told her, Lee's childhood best friend had to go visit his little sister in the hospital on Leonis, and Lee had agreed to watch the small farm his friend had out in the wilds of Picon. He had been there for two weeks before he invited his little brother to join him.

Kara let her eyes roam up his tan skin to his hair. It was rather long and was slick back with sweat from the hot car. He had apologized when they got into the car. There had been a problem with the livestock that morning so he didn't have time to take a shower after working with the animals. For some reason, Kara found the slightly dirty look intriguing. Working on a farm suited him. Maybe he should think of it as a second career.

Lee let out a sigh and turned the wheel slightly as they entered the highway into the city. Kara's attentions fell to his hands. They were the hands of a Viper pilot, through and through. Callused at the finger tips and palm from too much time in the cockpit. Dirt under the nails, though this time it probably wasn't engine grease. They were tough, very sure of themselves, a reflection of the man they were a part of.

She saw Lee's eyes dart over to her and then back to the road. He knew she was watching him. "How long did I sleep?" she asked.

"Only a few minutes. I have to say I missed the company," Lee admitted.

"That's not a phrase I hear a lot."

Lee's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"I'm not the type of person people find it easy to be around."

"I don't know what kind of people you're around, but they have to be crazy not to warm up to you."

Kara shook her head. "I'm a rather abrasive person, Lee. I'm not likable."

"I like you."

Kara felt her face go red and hoped to the gods that Lee would keep his eyes on the road. They were already nearing campus. Kara couldn't figure out where the time had gone.

The silence remained between them as Lee pulled through the Academy gates. Kara held back a smirk when the guard recognized the great Apollo and motioned for them to proceed. She had to admit she had been surprised to find out that this attractive nugget who was in her apartment-mate's basic flight class was actually the brother of the man who set all the Academy records. At least he _had_ set the records until Kara showed up.

Kara directed Lee through the winding roads of the campus until they were parked in front of her home.

"Wake up, bro," Lee called. He rolled his eyes when Zak didn't even move an inch. He looked over at the passenger seat to see Kara mirroring his expression. "He does that for you, too?"

"It usually takes me bribing him," Kara admitted as she opened the door and slipped out of the truck. Lee met her around back and hopped up into the bed to hand her the bags.

As her hand brushed Lee's when she grabbed the last bag, the words came falling out of her before she could think twice. "You should come stay with me during your next shore leave."

Lee's eyes went wide, and he found himself glimpsing through the back window at his little brother, still dead to the world.

"No!" Kara said, dropping the bag and shaking her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I just… I wasn't lying when I said people don't really take to me. I mean, I have my friends here at the Academy, but I'm not sure they would _be_ my friends if we didn't work together. I don't think I'm the kind of girl they're used to being around. I try really hard to show them that I'm not a complete waste to be around, but I never know if it's working. And then you show up, and it's so fraking easy. Like I'm telling you these stories and you're laughing and asking questions and you don't have to, but you are. So I just thought that maybe you might want to listen to some of my stories again and now I realize that sounds completely stupid and I should have kept my mouth shut." Kara kept wincing as she stooped down to pick up her bag. "Sorry," she added as an after thought. She made the mistake of glancing up at Lee to see his reaction, and she felt her face fill with confusion. He was smiling at her. "What?"

"I have some time off a few months from now," Lee said, hoping down off the truck. "I'll give you a call."

Kara felt a smile spread across her face. "Great."

Lee reached down to pick up his brother's bag. "One condition, though. I want to fly simulators with you."

Kara nodded. "I think I can sneak you on campus."

"It's a date then." Lee held out the bag. "Hold this for a second."

"What are you going to do?" Kara asked as she took the bag from him.

"Just watch." Lee walked around to the driver's side and, leaning in the open window, laid on the horn.

Zak jumped up off the seat. His head banged against the roof of the truck with a loud thump. When his vision cleared, he saw his brother and girlfriend practically rolling on the ground laughing. "Very funny."

"It was," Lee wheezed through the tears and laughter.

"What'd I miss?" Zak said slipping out of the backseat.

"Not much," Kara replied.

"I'm dating your girlfriend," Lee pointed out. "I think that might be new."

Zak's eyes went wide, and he turned to look at Kara. She shrugged. "It was a long drive back, Zak. You know I get bored easily."

He watched Kara hand Lee his bag, and then his brother and girlfriend started chatting as they made their way into her home. It took him a few seconds to snap back to reality, and then he was running to catch up. "You two were kidding, right?"


	71. Mad

_Lee loved how when Kara got really mad, her lips would pout in just a way that it was next to impossible not to want to frak her up against a wall._

"We never should have split up!"

Lee wasn't sure he believed that, but Kara was screaming it rather convincingly at the moment. Sure, they probably would have been better off sticking with the rest of the team, but it wasn't like they were surrounded by toasters or anything. They were simply lost.

"Kara, you need to calm down," Lee said as gently as he could.

"Why the frak should I calm down? What reason do I have? We are lost in a jungle on some unknown planet, and my fraking radio just went dead."

Lee rolled his eyes. He was starting to get tired of Kara and her irrational panic. She was always doing this to him. "You weren't complaining about splitting up when we found the water supply," he pointed out.

"That was before I realized we found the water but had no way to tell anyone." Kara stopped her growling to bang her radio against a large rock. "Fraking piece of crap."

Lee had to bit his lip to keep from laughing, but somehow Kara could tell. "And you! You were the one who thought this was a good idea. Let's show them how it's done, Kara. Just like old times, Kara. Frak old times! Old times usually meant one of us getting shot or captured or some other fraking thing that ends up in tears and screaming."

"I think you have the screaming thing down already," Lee hissed before he could stop himself.

Kara's mouth dropped open, and she twisted to glare at him. "You are such an ass sometimes."

Lee let out a long sigh. "They're not going to leave us here, Kara, and chances are you and I will find them before they even realize we were lost."

"I just don't get why you and I always have to go on these missions. Can't someone else save the Fleet for once?"

Lee shook his head. "Our track record is too good. I mean, without us, they never would have found Gemini and they would have mistaken the water on that aqueous planet as something other than an indicator of Pisces."

"So just because you and I know our ancient star charts, we have to tromp through dirt and mud every fraking time we need something?"

"Pretty much."

They started walking again and this time they made it about half a mile before Kara chucked her radio at a tree. It exploded into pieces.

"Smart idea, Kara. Completely destroy the only methods of communication we have," Lee said, pushing past her.

"It doesn't fraking work."

"There was a chance that it could have had a little bit of power left in it. It may have worked if you just gave it a rest."

"That's complete bullshit, _sir_." Kara hissed the last part, making sure he knew that she was using the less respectful form of the word.

"And throwing the only radio we have at a tree isn't bullshit?" Lee fired back.

"It wasn't fraking working," Kara growled. She took a few steps forward in order to get right up in his face. "Nothing is fraking working on this mission."

Lee loved how when Kara got really mad, her lips would pout in just a way that it was next to impossible not to want to frak her up against a wall.

Too bad there were no walls in the jungle.

"Stop it, Lee."

Kara's words caused him to break out of the little fantasy his mind was cooking up. "What?"

"You've got that look on your face."

"Which look?"

"The one you make when you imagine you're having sex with me, Major."

Lee tried to feign innocence, but it was quickly clear that Kara wasn't buying it. "Sorry?"

Kara rolled her eyes and thrust her hand into the air. "I ought to take this ring and shove it up your ass."

"But I don't think it would fit up there," Lee deadpanned. When he saw Kara's confused look, the corner of his lips turned up in a smirk. "What with the stick you keep referring to already being up there and all."

She continued to glare at him a few moments before she burst out laughing. "Come on, Lee. We need to find the others so we can save the day yet again."

Lee jogged a few feet to catch up to her, and they continued walking through the woods. He hoped they made it a few miles this time before his soon-to-be wife started screaming again.


	72. Quirks

_It was the little quirks in their relationship that made people laugh: the way Lee could always tell when she was bluffing at triad, the fact that she knew the one noise that would drive him insane, the reason why when they thought no one was watching they dropped the facade of sarcasm and simply enjoyed each other's company._

Lee paced the hallway outside the President's office on Colonial One and tried to ignore the strange looks he was being given. Everyone was used to seeing the young Captain on the ship. He was President Roslin's military advisor, after all. He just normally didn't look this scared.

Granted he was no longer there in an official capacity, but he still liked to help the President with a few insights that were unrelated to anything political. They had learned their lesson about that the hard way. Lee stayed away from the hard-hitting topics, and Laura Roslin didn't ask for his opinions on anything that would get him into trouble.

So, here he was again. A military advisor feeling more nervous and anxious and on edge than he probably had any right to be.

He had paced the halls a million times during the preparations for the Quorom of Twelve, the tense days after Kobol when the President retook office, and the fragile transition period as Galactica and Pegasus became one fleet. The last time he had been here was right after he took on the black market.

During none of those times did he look so scared to death.

"Captain Adama." Lee stopped in his tracks and looked up to see Billy standing in the open hatch. "The President's finished her meeting with the Quorom. She was surprised to hear you were waiting for her. There was nothing in her books about you stopping over."

"I'm sorry for not calling ahead," Lee joked, jogging the few feet to where Billy stood. "She's not busy, is she?"

"No, it's just the normal things."

Lee went to move through the hatch but paused at the last second. "Billy?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Is she in a good mood?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"The President, is she in a good mood?"

"I think so."

Lee nodded his thanks and pushed past Billy into the conference room. He tried to ignore the eerie feeling he always got from the empty chairs and podium. It was odd to see this room with no one in it. Then again, he was thankful that things were at a little bit of a lull right now.

"Captain Apollo." Laura's voice cheerfully greeted him from the couch in her inner sanctum.

Lee walked past her desk and took the seat on the chair opposite her. "Madam President, I'm sorry for not warning you about my visit."

Laura waved her hand at him, brushing his comment to the side. "I'm just glad I didn't make the appointment and then forget about it in my old age." She let herself smile at her joke for a second and then steeled her face. "Now what is it you needed to speak to me about?"

"It's… um… well, it's about the military fraternization policy."

Laura's eyebrows shot up, but she motioned for him to continue.

"Right now it stands that military personnel are forbidden to enter into personal relationships with their fellow crewman."

"A rule I know your men seem to informally disregard," Laura teased. It was no secret that Galactica's pilots and crew had been compensating for the dire circumstances by clutching to any little bit of human contact they have. The whole Fleet had been operating that way for months. Then again, it wasn't a forbidden act for the civilians.

"I'm not going to lie and say that isn't correct," Lee said. He looked up from his hands to see that Laura was staring at him with a rather amused look on her face. He couldn't help but think that if she was amused now, she would in her element when he got to the best part of this whole plea. "Sir, I was wondering if maybe it wouldn't be better if we redefined the fraternization policy according to the new times that we are living in."

"You want me to eliminate it?"

Lee shook his head. "No, I just want you to refine it. Introduce stricter guidelines as to how the relationship will be monitored to ensure they don't get in the way of how things are run. I want my people to be given a chance to have a life outside their job but only if it is safe."

Laura Roslin stared at the young man that she trusted like so few others. There was something more to this plea than what he was telling her. "And what about you?"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"What would this change in policy mean for you, Lee?"

Lee felt his heart freeze at the use of his first name, and he suddenly knew that the President saw right through him. "I… I want to marry Kara."

Laura's eyes went wide. "Lieutenant Thrace?"

Lee nodded. "I don't know if she'll say yes, but I want to ask her."

"I was aware that you and the Lieutenant were attached to one another, but I didn't realize it was to this extent," Laura stammered. She really had no clue this was coming.

"I love her," Lee said softly.

Laura realized his words were more for himself than her. He was reminding himself why he was doing this. It wasn't hard to see the Captain was both nervous and embarrassed. Laura reached across the space between them and touched his thigh gentle. "Could you please explain how this happened?"

Lee's eyes darted up to meet hers, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the look of understanding on her face. This wasn't the President speaking. It was Laura Roslin. His mind started racing, trying to figure out how to explain the shift that happened between himself and Kara. Roslin knew the two of them as the pair of hotshot pilots that kept most of Galactica and Pegasus alive in one way or another, but she didn't know them as Kara and Lee.

Lee knew how to begin, but he just wasn't sure if it would sound right.

It was the little quirks in their relationship that made people laugh: the way Lee could always tell when she was bluffing at triad, the fact that she knew the one noise that would drive him insane, the reason why when they thought no one was watching they dropped the facade of sarcasm and simply enjoyed each other's company.

They were such a conundrum to those around them which was what pushed them together in the first place. What they had was indefinable, and it just felt natural to let it drift to the next level.

It was the little things that no one saw which made them fall in love: the way Kara always brought him coffee in his office after an all-nighter trying to work through the paperwork, the fact that Lee knew when she needed to be in a cockpit more than she needed to be with him, the reason why when they thought no one was watching they dropped the façade of always being at each other's throat and just let themselves feel.

It was the fact that Lee knew he couldn't live without Kara that pushed him to take this step. They had snuck off for a quiet moment together the night before, and for the first time, when he told her how much he loved her, she said it back. Lee had never known you could be as happy as he was in that moment.

"These things have no explanation," Lee said, breaking the silence. "They just happen. You can either chose to ignore it or embrace it."

"And you're embracing it?"

"I'm trying, sir," Lee said, biting on his lower lip. "So what do you think?"

Laura narrowed her eyes before letting out a loud laugh. "I think your father would be awfully angry with me if I kept him from gaining Kara as a daughter."

Lee's eyes went wide as he realized what she had just said. "So, you'll do it?"

"It's going to take some time, Captain, but I think you have a strong point." Laura sighed and got to her feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, my rather light day has just gotten a lot heavier. It seems I have to start reviewing the military policies to make sure they are up to date with our current situation." Laura gave him a wink and walked over to her desk.

Lee heard her pick up the phone and start talking to her presidential aides, requesting meetings to be set up and texts to be located. He took that as his cue to leave.

Laura watched Lee make his way past towards the hatchway. She was delighted to see that heavy nervousness had left his body. "Hold on a moment," she said into the phone before pushing it to the side. "Captain Apollo?"

Lee stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. "Yes?"

"She's going to say yes. Trust me." Laura gave her military advisor one last smile and returned to her phone call. "And would you do me a favor and schedule a dinner with the Admiral and I for two days from now? I think we're going to have a lot to talk about."


	73. Vision

_Lee hoped to the gods that vision wasn't necessary for him to find his way to the shower stalls because with Kara walking around and screaming she was going to kill the person who stole her towel, he really couldn't look up._

_oooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Lee hoped to the gods that vision wasn't necessary for him to find his way to the shower stalls because with Kara walking around and screaming she was going to kill the person who stole her towel, he really couldn't look up.

"Lee Adama! Are you actually averting your eyes?" Her voice was teasing as usual but there was a hint of something else laced deep inside.

Lee took a chance and breathed a sigh of relief when, upon looking up, he saw a towel securely wrapped around Kara's body.

Kara held his gaze for a few seconds before her brow furrowed. "What the frak are you doing in the head with your dress blues on?"

Lee sighed as reality slammed back into him. He wasn't here just to sneak a peak at his half-naked hotshot pilot. "I need a favor, Kara."

"Anything," she said, taking a few steps forward. She didn't have to know Lee very well to know that tone meant something serious, but because she knew him so well, she knew that tone almost meant he was worried about something.

"You have an off day tomorrow and there's a little project I need you to help me with. The black market has apparently flared up since the last time I was sent to test it. I need someone to help me figure out just how bad it's gotten."

Kara nodded. "Let me know when. I'll strap up and be ready to kick ass."

Lee shook his head. "It's not going to be that easy. They know my face at least somewhat. They'll see me coming a mile away if I bring in a team in full marine gear."

"So what are you proposing?"

"It's the child market that I'm concerned about," Lee admitted, "so that's what I need the help with." He shut his eyes and tried to gather his courage before continuing. "I need you to pretend like you're my wife and you want to secure a child with me from the black market."

Kara's eyes went wide. She must be fraking tired if she just heard Lee ask her to be his wife. "Excuse me?"

"Come on, Kara. Don't make me say it again. I need someone to pose as my wife, and I figured that you'd be a pretty good option considering you already have an off shift to coincide with mine."

Kara stared at him a moment and then nodded. She should have known he would never chose her outright for something like this. She was convenient. "Fine. When do you need me?"

"0800. There's going to be a Raptor waiting to take us to Cloud Nine. From there, we'll switch over to a larger transport heading to the Prometheus. We have dinner reservations to meet with the… provider that night. The mission shouldn't take much longer after that. If we are able to secure the business transaction, that's all the proof we need to launch a Marine assault the very next morning."

"Sounds good," Kara replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get dressed and tell Helo that our date in the gym tomorrow is going to have to be put on hold."

The second Kara was out of sight, Lee let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. There was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders knowing that she was going up to bat with him on this one. He had had to call in a number of favors to get himself an offshift the next day and to get the mission approved that quickly, but he knew that he needed someone to watch his back on this one. The only person who could do that right now was Kara so he had to make it happen. It was just easier if she didn't know how important she was. Kara tended to tease him to no end when he let her ego get too big.

_oooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo_

Kara did a little spin in the mirror. Her hands ran down the length of the white buttoned down shirt and fitted navy blue shirt. She felt like the President of the Twelve Colonies.

Kara's eyes shifted to rest on the young deckhand currently sitting with her legs tucked under her on top of the table in the middle of the senior officer's bunkroom "This is incredible, Cally. Where the frak did you find this stuff?"

"You told me it was important so I asked around. Zephyr just came off a few meeting at Fleet headquarters when the attacks happened. She was going to give up the military, believe it or not. Well, anyway, it turns out that she still had the clothes even after all these months."

"And the heels?" Kara asked.

"Those are from Showboat. She's the same size as you."

Kara leaned in to check her hair again. It had been so long since she actually put any sort of effort into styling it. "How do I look, Cally?"

"Why do you care, Kara?"

Cally's words made Kara's hand freeze in her hair, and she turned to look at the deckhand. "Excuse me?"

"I've seen you getting ready for a hundred and one missions in the years we've served on this ship, and you've never carried this much about being convincing."

Kara stared at her a moment before shrugging. "Lee's counting on me."

"And it has nothing to do with wanting to look nice for the Captain himself?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Kara turned away and hoped to the gods Cally didn't hear her voice shake. She did not have time for this right now.

"Mmm hmmm." Cally pushed off the table and walked to Kara's side. She held out a pair of glasses. "Wear these. They'll make you look smart."

Kara took the glasses and slid them on. "Are these prescription?"

"They're light. Don't lose them. I stole them from Jammer's girlfriend. She's going to be pissed if they get broken."

Kara nodded and, giving her hair one last run through, stepped away from the locker. "All right. Wish me luck, Specialist."

"Good luck, Starbuck."

Kara gave Cally a quick smile and then walked out into the corridor. She tried to ignore the transparent shock written on the face of every person she passed. She was dressed nice right now, a little on the conservative side for her but nice all the same. Regardless, it shouldn't be causing people to stumble in their tracks.

"Starbuck, you are feeding into my secretary fetish and you don't even know it."

Kara rolled her eyes at the sound of Helo's voice but slowed her pace until he caught up. "Shut up, Karl."

"On your way to the hangar bay?"

"Yeah. Sorry about canceling our plans."

"No problem. If I had known canceling our plans would get you in those heels, I would have canceled a lot sooner."

Kara smacked him playfully on the arm as they descended a flight of stairs. "I don't look that bad."

"Bad is not the word," Helo teased. Their pace slowed down as they reached the hangar bay doors. "And by the way, Kara, if you were going for repressed with that outfit, you're a mile off target."

Kara smirked. "Honey, I couldn't be repressed even if I tried."

Helo's laughter echoed through the corridors and gave Kara the courage she knew she would need for the next few minutes. It was time to get Lee's approval.

Kara caught sight of him just as she was nearing the Raptor. He was talking with a few of the launch crew so Kara let herself stare a little bit. He was wearing a deep blue dress shirt and grey pants. The clothes fit his body so well that Kara was pretty sure they had to have been his own from before the attacks. Lee finally noticed her approach and when their eyes locked, Kara felt herself stumbling to a stop a few feet away from their Raptor.

"Sirs, we need to get you launched."

The words came from one of the launch crew, but Kara still couldn't tear her eyes away from Lee. There was a reason she and Lee avoided wearing civilian clothing, and this was it.

"You look nice," Lee said, making the first move. He stepped forward and grabbed her elbow. "Very refined."

"Thanks," Kara whispered, letting him lead her up the ramp onto the Raptor.

Lee sat her down in a chair near the back and then made his way up to the co-pilot seat. Kara leaned back, watching him, as the Raptor was launched from Galactica. Lee didn't say a word to her the whole flight although she did catch him sneaking glances at her every once in awhile.

Kara couldn't read the expression on his face whenever she caught him looking, and she considered that a small gift from the gods. Her hands ran through her hair absentmindedly as she tried to focus on the job ahead. There were a lot of people counting on her right now so she needed her head in the game.

There was a small bump as the Raptor set down in one of Cloud Nine's docking areas, but Kara stayed seated. She watched the pilot go through the post-flight checks before whispering, "This feels weird."

Lee motioned for the pilot to leave them alone a moment and walked to the back of the ship. "Are you going to be able to do this, Kara?"

"I'll be fine," she said, her face filling with determination. "I just have to get my role straight."

Lee crouched down in front of her feet and gave her one of those killer smiles she hated to love. "You're Kara Adama, my lovely blushing bride."

Kara felt her skin redden at his words. "I am far from being an Adama," she whispered.

"You're an Adama in everything but name," Lee insisted. He rested his hands on her knees. "Listen to me, Kara. This doesn't have to be hard. It's just you and me on another mission. Smile. Laugh. Have fun. We'll be fine."

Kara gave a small nod, and Lee shifted his hands into hers and pulled her to her feet. Together they walked off the Raptor into the busy docking area. "The shuttle's right over there," Lee said, pointing to their left.

"Thanks, honey." Kara had to fight back a laugh as Lee stiffened and then blushed slightly. She slid her hand up to rest on his arm and started scanning their surroundings. No one looked like they noticed the young couple stepping off a military ship so hopefully they were in the clear.

Lee led Kara to the shuttle and helped her on board. They were directed to an area that were set apart from the majority of the other seats. "I requested that we have a little privacy," Lee offered. "I figured you'd want to rest up for our meeting."

Kara nodded and slid into her seat. She moved the middle divider of the seat next to her until it was out of the way and then patted the seat. Lee took a seat and was a little unsure of what to do when she shifted to lean against him. "Spouses cuddle," she whispered, biting her tongue to keep from teasing.

Lee shifted his arm around her. "Well, if I remember correctly from those first few nights after the attacks, CAGs and their lead pilots do, too."

Kara smiled and let silence fall between them. Things had been a lot easier back then. She had had nightmares about what had happened to the only world she had ever known, and it was so simple to slip into the bed of an old friend for comfort. Lee had never brought up those nights of weakness.

Lee's hand tightened around hers as the shuttle pushed off from the docking and entered space. "I really like those glasses on you."

"They don't make me look stupid?" Kara asked.

"They suit you," Lee said. "They make you seem less stubborn."

Kara smacked him lightly on the arm and chuckled when he tightened his hold on her. They shifted into a comfortable silence as the shuttle smoothly slid through space. This little bubble the mission had built was completely surreal. Kara could say and do anything with Lee right now and be able to blame it on the mission.

Her mind drifted to what she was going to have to do in a few short minutes. She was going to pretend like she would give anything to be a mother, and she had to make it convincing. Her eyes drifted to the man sitting next to her. She wasn't sure anymore if Lee knew what her past was like. For a while, she thought he knew about her mother. Maybe Zak had told him. Maybe it had just come up one of the times Lee had to review her medical history for CAG purposes. Either way, she really thought Lee might have caught on throughout the years.

And yet he had asked her to pretend to be a mother. It was the one role she had no clue how to play.

"Kara, we're here."

Kara sat up and looked around the shuttle. It was empty. "What happened?"

"We landed a few minutes ago. You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you."

"Why did you let me sleep? I should have been focusing on the mi-"

"Meeting," Lee interrupted. "I know, but you haven't been sleeping well lately. It's all the stress of what we're about to do."

Kara nodded. He was right. They needed to start putting themselves into their roles right fraking now. "Sorry."

Lee gave her a smile and then offered his hand to help her up. "We're supposed to see a Mr. Tyler over drinks at the Express Lounge on the lower level. I've heard that it's a rather nice facility."

Kara looked around the docking area and did her best to put on a mask of intimidation and fear. "I don't know about this, Lee."

Lee had to fight back the smile that wanted to pop out at the sound of Kara acting scared. To someone who knew her so well, it sounded downright ridiculous. "Everything will be okay, sweetheart."

Kara nodded and paused a moment so that Lee took the lead. He led her through corridors that were familiar. He had been here before, but his head had been in a completely different place back then. He had been confused. He had almost died, and it took him a long time to come to terms with how that prospect had seemed acceptable at the time.

Lee walked up the hostess at the bar and gave her the famous Adama smile. "Hi, my wife and I have arrangements to meet a Mr. Tyler here."

The hostess's eyes went wide for a second and then she nodded. She started scurrying through the main floor of the restaurant and motioned for them to follow. "Of course. Let me take you to a table. Mr. Tyler isn't here yet, but I'm sure he's on his way. He never makes his appointments wait for that long. I promise."

Kara let Lee pull the chair out for her, and when she sat down, his hand slid up her back and lingered at the curve of her neck for just a second too long. Kara bit down the flare of desire coursing through her. Lee was just pretending. This was a mission. He had to be affectionate if this was going to work.

The waitress came over to them immediately, and Kara deferred to Lee for probably the first time in their history. Lee ordered a couple glasses of ambrosia, asking if they had the Picon Mint brand. The waitress nodded and slid away to fill the order.

"Picon Mint?" Kara said, raising her eyebrow.

"It is your favorite, isn't it?"

Kara nodded and leaned in over the table. "I'm impressed."

"A husband should know these things," Lee pointed out. His body tilted in to mirror hers, and before he could even think to do it, his hand was reaching across the table to take hers.

"Remind me to thank you later," Kara said, the mischief gleaming in her eye as she felt Lee shift. If she knew better, she would say she was making him uncomfortable, but that would mean Lee actually felt something like desire for her which was ridiculous. Anyone with eyes could see that was as far from the truth as one could get.

"Oh I will," Lee whispered.

Kara's eyes fell down to his lips, and she could feel herself freeze. Her head was telling her that a wife would lean in to kiss her husband at this point, but it wasn't like Lee was really her husband. He was her CAG, her boss, one of the few friends she had left. She couldn't really lean in and kiss him.

Could she?

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, a pleasure to see you."

Kara's eyes darted to Lee in confusion.

"Honey, you know I couldn't give Mr. Tyler our real name. We're too prominent, and I don't want this connection to get back to us." Lee turned to smile at the man settling into the seat next to Kara. "No offense."

"None taken. I get that sentiment a lot, and as long as it keeps the business going, I don't mind." Tyler leaned back in his seat and smiled. "I have to say, Mr. Jones. You were telling me that your wife would make a fantastic mother, but you never said she was so beautiful."

Kara feigned shock and reached out to slap Lee's hand lightly.

"It's not nice to lie, Mr. Tyler," Lee said, grinning at Kara. "I told you exactly how beautiful my wife was."

"That's right. You said it was a tragedy of the gods that she couldn't have children because she had the perfect genes." Tyler twisted to smile at Kara. "He did go on about the dreams he had once had about a bunch of little blonde-pigtailed girls running around his backyard before the Cylons attacked. He painted such a vivid picture, but I have to admit I didn't see it until now."

Kara felt herself blushing. Even though she knew better, a small voice in the back of her head wondered if Lee had been thinking about her specifically when he told Tyler his dream. "You never told me about that, darling."

"I thought you would feel bad because of our situation."

Kara shook her head. "I wouldn't have."

Lee held her eyes for a moment and it wasn't until Tyler started speaking again that he remembered they were here for a reason.

"Let's get down to business. I believe I have what you two are looking for. Her name is Amara, and she was orphaned during the 33 minute attacks those first few days of flight."

Kara's mouth dropped open, and it was only partially an act. She could not believe this Tyler guy just came out and said that. They were in a rather public place, and he just admitted to being a member of the black market of children. He had just casually labeled himself a criminal of the Twelve Colonies.

Lee's grip tightened, and Kara found herself smiling at him as if they had really just gotten a miracle from the gods. He hadn't been lying when he said this mission would be easy.

"So, congratulations, Mr. And Mrs. Jones. You have a daughter."

The words hit Kara like a brick. She was going to be a mother in this man's eyes, and he wasn't doubting her. It could be the clothes or the glasses or the fact that it was a man like Lee supporting her, but she believed it a little bit herself. Before she could stop herself, she had grabbed Lee by the collar of his shirt and was pulling him into a kiss.

It was awkward at first, considering they weren't actually married and didn't do this kind of thing… ever. That uneasiness faded away quickly, though. Kara felt Lee's mouth slid into a smile as her hand came up to cradle his cheek, and she teased his lips open with her tongue. She felt his hands tighten around her wrists, and then she lost control of all her senses as Lee put his all behind the kiss.

Lee pulled away after a minute, and Kara could see him struggling to concentrate as the words fell from his mouth. "I think Mr. Tyler here probably has some documentation for us-"

Kara shook her head and pulled Lee into another kiss. She felt him grab her hand and pull her around the table without breaking the connection between them. She settled herself into his lap and let him gently nibble on her bottom lip. Reality pushed in for a few seconds, but it was quickly shoved to the side when she heard someone clear their throat and Lee pulled away again.

"Hold on. I'm not done," she said to the man on the other half of the table. She ran her hands through Lee's hair and pulled him into a third kiss. It seemed the bigger a taste she got of this man, the more she wanted. There was an impulse to completely forget who they were and why there were here in order to give in to the urge to just frak Lee senseless on this table.

Mr. Tyler cut into her thoughts as the voice of reason. "A lot of couples have this same reaction. Why don't you two stay the night, make sure you're completely okay with the amount of money that will be exchanged, and we can fill out the proper documents in the morning?"

"Sounds great," Lee answered, his voice still a little shaky. He reached his hand out to shake with Tyler and then watched the man silently walk away as quickly as he came.

"Looks like we did it," Kara observed. Lee turned to look at her, and it was at the same moment that they both realized she was still sitting in his lap. "Sorry," Kara whispered, slipping into the seat next to him.

They fell into silence as the noises of the restaurant filled the air around them. Kara found herself having a hard time looking up at Lee. She had just lost control here, and she was pretty sure she couldn't blame it on the mission. Even she wasn't stupid enough to believe that. "So now what do we do, Lee?"

"We barricade ourselves in the room I paid for."

Kara's eyes went wide. "Excuse me?" She turned in time to see Lee's face go white as he realized what he just implied. "Did you just proposition me?"

"No, I didn't. I mean, not if… I mean, no! No!"

A giggle fell from her lips. Lee was so flustered that it was downright cute. "You got a room, though."

"I didn't know you were going to kiss me like that!" Lee protested. He let out a groan when he realized that was probably not the thing to say right now.

"So because I was playing the dutiful role of wife, you thought you could assert your husbandly rights regardless of how I felt?"

"Kara, don't be stupid."

"I'm stupid now?"

Lee shook his head in confusion. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I have no fraking clue," Kara yelled.

Lee let out a loud laugh at her frustration and winced when over half the restaurant turned to look at them. "I think we should probably get out of here before we blow the good work we just did."

Kara nodded, and she let him rest his hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the restaurant and through the corridors on Prometheus. Lee only paused slightly to give the undercover Marine a slight nod, letting him know they had gotten what they needed that night.

They didn't say another word the whole way to the quarters Lee had paid for, and she figured that was for the best. They had the bad habit of reacting impulsively around each other, and that kind of thing usually ended with either a foot in the mouth or a nasty black eye.

She kicked her shoes off the second that the hatch shut behind Lee and made her way into the bedroom area. The bed was soft against her skin and felt amazing after wearing these clothes all day. Kara unhooked the top three buttons on her shirt and sighed.

"I think I need to explain something."

Kara's eyes shot open, but she couldn't tear them away from the ceiling. The room was silent for a few moments, and then she felt the bed dip beside her.

"My father and I firmed up the details of this mission last night after I got you to agree to help me. We both figured it would be safer if you and I were out of the way when they do the takedown so I got this room. We're supposed to stay locked up inside her until the Marines come to escort us to a Raptor. That's why I already had this room."

Kara shifted up onto her elbows and turned her head to smile at Lee. "So then there's no hope that you might ravage your make-believe wife tonight?"

Lee bit his lip and shrugged. "I could be persuaded if you give me more kisses like that."

Kara laughed and collapsed back onto the bed. "Don't count on it, Adama. The mood has broken."

"Kara, the mood broke several times during those kisses. It didn't stop you from taking what you wanted."

"What is it that I wanted?" she asked, twisting to look at him.

"Me," Lee said, a smug grin plastered across his face. "If I remember correctly, you told Tyler that you weren't done yet."

Kara sat up, and before Lee could even realize it, she had her skirt hiked up around her thighs and was straddling him. "You're right. I don't think I'm done."

Lee smiled, and this time it was he who initiated the kiss. Kara felt a shiver pass through her as Lee's hands ran up and down her back. She could feel the heat of his skin even through all the layers of clothing still on their bodies.

"What are we doing, Lee?" she whispered when they finally had to break for air.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Kara gestured down between them, and Lee realized that somewhere in that kiss she had unbuttoned his shirt. Her own shirt was hanging on by a thread. He gently shifted her body off his onto the bed and stood up. "This doesn't have to be defined right now, Kara. It can just be what it is."

Kara leaned back against the pillows and watched Lee walk across the room. Those pants really did fit him quite well. "And what is that?"

Lee gave her a smile and bent down. She watched him rifle around in a bag she could only assume he had had delivered earlier. He straightened up and tossed a pair of sweats at her. "It's Apollo and Starbuck getting a night off for a change."

Kara jumped to her feet and practically ripped the rest of her clothes off. The old, worn cotton felt like heaven against her skin. "Oh gods. This is nice."

Lee laughed and quickly changed into his own sweats. He laid out on the bed next to her and rested his head on the pillows. Kara immediately slid her body down to mirror his. "This is _real _nice," he whispered in agreement to what she said before.

"What are we doing, Lee?" she asked again, her eyes locked with his.

Lee leaned in to kiss her lightly before pulling back to smile. "We're letting our guards down for a change."

Kara thought that over for a few minutes before nodding. "That sounds nice, too." She snuggled her body in close to his and was happy to feel his arms pull her in as close as she could go. "We haven't done this in a long time."

"I think that'll be changing as soon as we get back to Galactica," Lee said, the promise raw in his voice.

"Very nice." Her words were almost muffled by the yawn erupting from her lips.

"Go to sleep, Kara. I'll wake you up in the morning."

Her reply was a sleepy mumble, and Lee found himself shaking his head. He could not understand this woman even if he tried. Honestly, he had never thought he would come to love the un-definable as much as he did.

Then again, that was before he knew the un-definable was Kara Thrace.

He leaned in to brush a kiss across the top of her head. Un-definable was sounding real nice these days.


	74. Book

_The only engagement gift Kara did not return was the book of poetry given to her by her fiancé's older brother._

There was a lot of things in her childhood and a handful of things in her adulthood that Kara refused to talk about. She had been tempted a few times when Karl gave her that knowing look, the one that told her he could handle knowing how bad things could get for her.

The last time she broke down and admitted something to him was in those stupid forests around Delphi. She was just so happy to see him that when he asked her to tell him a secret, a game they had played for as long as they had known one another, she told him right away about her part in Zak's death. The Old Man and Lee knew about it so she didn't really think she had to keep it hidden anymore. Not that she was going to walk around telling people how she helped kill the youngest Adama or anything.

Kara sighed and pulled herself up to a seated position in her bunk. There was a lot of things about Zak that she hadn't told anyone. It was a private part of her life, and she felt like if she talked about it, it would disappear.

Her hand reached out to the shelf fastened to the head of her bunk, and she grasped the worn spin of a book resting on top. The leather cover was cool against her skin thanks to the cold battlestar air. She had had it for only a handful of years, but she had read it cover to cover so many times she lost count long before the Cylons attacked.

There were some secrets about Zak that weren't even about Zak. This book was one of them.

Kara's mind flashed back to those excruciatingly painful days after the funeral when she had to get herself back in order. There was a post waiting for her on Galactica and she knew she couldn't leave things the way they were in Delphi. She didn't want the painful reminders of what she had done.

She boxed up anything that reminded her of Zak, knowing that years down the line, when she was ready, she would be able to take them out again. She filled out the necessary paperwork to have her rent paid from the military salary she would be receiving and stopped by to tell her landlord the new situation. He asked about what her fiance would be doing while she was in space, and it took all of Kara's strength to not lash out in anger.

The last thing Kara addressed was the small pile of wrapped boxes sitting by the stairs. She didn't open them. Instead, she just calmly wrote return to sender on each and every one. After a second, she added a quick red scrawl of sorry on the top of the nearest box. She didn't want to explain to anyone how she was doing. She didn't wanted the sympathy of strangers. Let them think the wedding was called off because of something traditional like a groom's cold feet or the bride being a whore. Kara didn't care.

The only engagement gift Kara did not return was the book of poetry given to her by her fiancé's older brother. It had been wrapped in plain brown paper unlike the other packages with their bows and shiny wrap. She recognized the handwriting right away.

She opened the package slowly, being careful not to rip the paper. Somehow seeing their names written out together by Lee was comforting. She didn't want to destroy that with a careless rip. The paper was still tucked away at the top of her closet in Delphi. She had checked.

Kara grasped the book tightly against her chest, smiling at the familiar weight, and pushed out of her bunk. She ignored the pilots who called out to her to join a triad game as she left the bunkroom and started down the corridor.

The walk to the CAG's office wasn't the shortest distance she'd ever traveled, but the journey was over before she realized it began. She knocked softly on the hatch, unconsciously clutching the book a little tighter. Lee's voice called out for her to enter. "How did I know you'd be doing paperwork?"

Lee's face slid into a smile as soon as he saw it was her. "I'm always doing paperwork, Kara."

"True," she said, walking over to his desk. She held his eyes for a few breaths and then dropped her book on the desk.

"What's this?"

"The reason why I know Kataris," Kara said, taking a seat in the chair opposite him. "I thought you should know."

Lee picked the book up and turned it in his hands a few times before opening it. His eyes skimmed the page, and Kara could sense the exact moment that he realized what he was holding. "I thought this got lost in transit," he said, his eyes jumping up to meet hers. "My mother said that you returned all the gifts."

"I returned everyone except that," Kara said softly. "I couldn't even bear to open them. I just scrawled return to sender and forgot about them."

"Why'd you open this one?"

"Because it was from you and for some reason, that meant something at the time."

Lee closed the book and ran his fingers over the cover. "It's worn."

"I've used it a lot." Kara felt a smile flirting at the corners of her lips. "Anyway, I know it's a few years late, but I just wanted to say thank you."

Lee held the book out to her. "You're welcome."

Her hand brushed across his as she went to take the book, and for a moment, she thought he was going to say something. He _looked_ like he was going to say something. Then the moment passed. Kara clutched the book back to her chest and silently wondered why Lee was still staring at her.

"I'm glad you kept it," he finally said.

Kara gave a small nod and stared down at the book. She didn't want to leave, but she had no reason to stay. She wasn't about to tell Lee she was shaken up by what happened to Kat. That would be admitting weakness, and Starbuck didn't show weakness. She was about to tell him not to work too late when he groaned loudly. "Problem?"

"These flight schedule revisions aren't going so great. Kat was a good partner for Shiner. She kept him focused. Not to mention that Palladino's out indefinitely. You know as much as I do how fraking hard it is to adjust to one pilot being out of rotation. I have two."

Kara nodded and, standing up, set her book on the chair behind her. She made her way to the other side of the desk and grabbed the flight schedules. "Let me see."

She scanned the lists, seeing there were over a dozen problems to be ironed out. It was nothing Lee couldn't handle, though. At the most, it was an hour's work, maybe two. It slowly dawned on her what this was all about. Lee knew how shook up she was. He was trying to give her something to focus on, a method of comfort he knew she would never refuse especially when it meant admitting he needed her help.

Kara kept the smile on the inside as she leaned over his shoulder. "Well, I can fly a double so you can start by moving me into this first shift…"


	75. Jester

"_Captain Thrace, you better get fraking back here and explain why Jester is currently in his skivvies washing your Viper with a toothbrush," Lee yelled down the corridor._

As CAG, it was Lee's job to wander down to the hangar bay every once in awhile to make sure things were working smoothly. He needed to check that his pilots were showing up for their maintenance shifts, that the Chief was getting his birds back in the air, and that there was no trouble because pilots and deck crew together were always a bad thing. It was like putting ambrosia with dynamite. Someone was liable to get a hand blown off.

His eyes scanned the hangar, and he was happy to neither see nor hear anything out of the ordinary. That is until he heard a familiar snicker.

Lee zoned in on her right away. Kara was leaned up against a Viper with a few of the deck crew women around her. She snickered again and this time Lee was prepared to follow her line of sight. That was when he saw it.

"Starbuck!" he yelled.

Kara's eyes went wide as her whole body tensed, and then she was off like lightning. Lee rolled his eyes and started chasing after her. "Captain Thrace, you better get fraking back here and explain why Jester is currently in his skivvies washing your Viper with a toothbrush," Lee yelled down the corridor.

Lee was suddenly grateful for all the years he had known Kara. A lesser man would never have been able to predict where she was running of to, and a lesser man would never have known the shortcut in the corridors around the mess.

When Kara came bursting into the empty firing range, Lee was sitting on the counter waiting for her. "Start explaining now."

Kara only faltered a step before hopping up on the counter next to him. "It's a long story."

"I have a lot of paperwork to do today. I have time."

Kara smirked. "Trying to shrug off your duties?"

"Don't change the subject. Jester. Skivvies. Toothbrush. Viper. Explain."

"Let me think for just a moment." She bit down on her bottom lip as she tried to think when this whole thing began. She could feel Lee staring at her. "I guess you could blame it on the fact that I woke up an hour before the shift change two days ago." Lee gave her a look of disbelief. "Hey! You wanted the long version, Apollo. I'm giving it to you."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"I went down to the mess to grab a cup of that gods-awful coffee they keep brewing and then headed down to the break room. It just so happened that there was a triad game going on, and you know I can't say no to triad."

"I bet the others wished you had."

"I played for only a few hands since I still had to change into my flight suit, but I won some nice things. A handful of cubits, two cigars, an old magazine. But the best by far was what I won from Kat, although I didn't know it at the time."

Lee waited patiently for her to continue. He hated when she did these stupid dramatic pauses.

"A toothbrush."

"A toothbrush," Lee said, nodding his head. That was one out of four questions answered.

"Hot Dog caught up with me in the corridors and told me he would do anything to get that toothbrush from me. It seemed there was a little incident between him and Racetrack a few days before." Kara paused and looked over at him. "This is off-record, by the way. I don't want you to go all CAG on me and demand there be repercussions."

"Promise," Lee said, even though he knew he'd regret it sooner or later.

"Hot Dog had had a few too many and started hitting on Racetrack while they both were in the head getting ready to go to their bunks for the night. He must have said something pretty fraking colorful to her because… and this is from Helo's mouth, not mine… she whipped the toothbrush right out of his mouth, marched over to the toilets, and dropped it in."

Lee winced.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Hot Dog's been using his finger every since, and let me tell you, I spoke with him. A finger's not cutting it."

"But of course you didn't give him the toothbrush," Lee said.

"Nope. He had to earn it."

"Okay. So now you have the toothbrush and _might_ give it to Hot Dog."

"Correct. I told Constanza that I would give it to him, but he had to take over the hygiene lecture I scheduled with my nuggets the next day. It was really basic stuff so I knew I didn't have to be the one teaching, and I figured they might want to get a front row look at what bad hygiene was."

"He agreed," Lee said, remembering a memo coming across his desk the day before.

"Right. Now, on to the situation with Jester. I caught him shooting the shit with some of his fellow nuggets in the briefing room after class yesterday. He didn't know I was there because, as you know, I can be quite stealthy when I try." That earned her a roll of the eyes from Lee. "He was bad-mouthing a certain Commander of the Air Group because you had pulled away the nuggets' break passes."

"The idiots caused a food fight in the mess."

"I know."

"And they didn't even have the brains to blame it on someone else like we do," Lee said with a smirk.

"I know. Idiots, right?"

"Or maybe they don't have the fool proof system that you and I do."

"The lead pilot blames the CAG who blames the lead pilot until the person trying to reprimand them gets frustrated and goes away system?"

"That would be the one," Lee chuckled.

"It does work quite nicely." Kara sighed. "Now where was I?"

"Jester was badmouthing me."

"Right. So as the flight instructor, I decided that this besmirching of the great Apollo's name should not go unpunished. I ordered Jester to report to me the following morning to do whatever the frak I deemed harsh enough until he was willing to admit that out of all the CAGS, you might be horrible, but you're not the worst."

"Thanks." Lee couldn't believe he was actually starting to get used to her compliments that weren't exactly compliments.

"So there's the Jester piece of the puzzle. Now on to the Viper. I ran into the Chief after busting Jester's big mouth. He had been looking over the stalling issues my bird was having."

Lee nodded. He remembered getting that memo, too. Since it was written by Kara herself, it was a lot more colorful than the first one stating Hot Dog was taking over her lecture.

"The Chief seemed to think it had something to do with that last planet we were doing sweeps of for a new water supply. He said the dirt must have clogged my engine, but they were going to flush it out. My little dilemma with Jester was still on my mind so I figured I'd help the Chief out by offering to get the rest of the dust cleaned off the exterior myself. That way his crew could focus on more important things."

"How very responsible of you."

"I thought so," Kara confirmed.

"So how does the toothbrush storyline connect with the Jester storyline?"

"I was getting there. Last night, I was working on how to start getting the nuggets practice time on CAPs when word of how my hygiene class went finally reached me." Kara saw Lee wince out of the corner of her eye and smiled. "You heard, too?"

"Hot Dog really should have known better than to use you as an example."

"Needless to say, I was still a little angry with him the next morning, but he was on CAP so I couldn't exactly take it out on him. And that's when everything just clicked into place," Kara said with a big sigh to signify the end of her story.

"Not everything," Lee insisted. "What about the skivvies?"

Kara smirked and pointed to the wall. Lee's eyes fell on the posted paper. Six bullet holes were right in the center of the target. It was all the ship had talked about for days. "A few weeks ago, Jester bet that I couldn't break Kat's record of five hits on the x-ring. As every single person on this ship knows, I did it. And you know why I did it?"

"Why?" Lee said, wondering if he should really be playing this game with her right now.

"Because I'm just that good, Lee. Because I'm just that good."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Kara."

"Come on. Say it, Lee."

"No."

"Say it."

"No."

"Because…"

"Because you're just that good. Now can we get back to how beating Kat's record turned into Jester wearing barely nothing?"

"He told me he'd sleep with me if I broke the record. He kept saying since I'm the legendary Starbuck, rule breaker extraordinaire, that I wouldn't hesitate to say frak you to the regs. He kept insisting he was worth the trouble." Kara rolled her eyes. "Cocky little bastard."

"You took him up on it?"

Kara glared at Lee. "No, I _did not_ take him up on it. I simply altered the bet to better suit my needs. I told him that if I won, he'd get naked. Stupid fraker thought that was my way of saying the whole fraking the flight instructor bet was on."

"He should have known better," Lee said, already wincing at what he knew was to come.

"So we get down to the hangar bay so he can start his punishment. He's about to begin scrubbing when I tell him to stop. Because I was in a rather good mood, I told him that he only had to get mostly naked."

"How very kind of you," Lee said, rolling his eyes.

"So there you have it. Jester. Skivvies. Toothbrush. Viper." Kara twisted her head to wink at him. "Are you going to punish me now, sir?"

The page on the shipwide comm cut off Lee's answer. "Captain Adama, please report to the CIC."

"Looks like my dad found out about your antics."

Kara shrugged. "Word travels fast."

Lee hopped down off the counter. "Would you do me a favor, Kara? Next time this kind of thing happens, let me in on the joke before you actually do it. I can do better damage control that way."

Kara gave him a mocking salute. "Yes, sir."

Lee walked out of the room, shaking his head to keep from laughing. Kara was going to be the death of him someday.


	76. Box

_Kara had been sitting in the brig cell for over an hour before they brought in the reason she lost control, and with a small laugh, she stretched her arms out, "My home is your home, Lee."_

Kara had been sitting in the brig cell for over an hour before they brought in the reason she lost control, and with a small laugh, she stretched her arms out, "My home is your home, Lee."

Lee's hand came up to rub his sore jaw. "Frak off, Kara."

"Oh come on!" she yelled, jumping to her feet. "You can't tell me you're actually mad!"

"You fraking punched me. No warning at all. Just bam! I'm laid out on the floor."

Kara was surprised to see that he really was fuming inside. He was pissed off at her, that bastard.

Lee watched her face twist into that sly smile that he knew meant danger was ahead. She pushed off her bunk and crossed the cell to stand at the bars that separated the two of them. Smirking, she leaned in. "I had to think fast because someone insisted upon kissing the frak out of me where we could easily get caught. It's not my fault that Socinus needed that spare part at the exact second your hormones got out of control."

"There were a lot of better solutions than punching me."

"It was either punch you and go to the brig or wait until the gossip circulated and have Tigh order us here because we broke about a hundred regulations. I chose the one that would only get us a few hours in here rather than making the brig our permanent residence." Kara reached through the bars to touch the side of his face. "Because you know as well as I do that once word about our relationship gets out, there are going to be tons of people claiming they saw us public displaying our affection. We'd be down in these cells almost twice as much as we'd be free."

"You're a pain in my ass, Thrace," Lee argued even though the way he leaned into her touch was contrary to the meaning of his words. "I should never have let you seduce me."

Kara's eyes narrowed. "If I remember correctly, you were the one doing all the seducing. I was just trying to get my reports written in the peace and quiet of the observation deck."

"You were the one that kissed me."

"You were the one that started taking my top off."

"Only because your hands were in my pants."

"You put them there."

"Only because you were begging me to let you touch me."

"I don't beg."

"I _beg_ to differ."

"Frakhead."

"Frak-_up_."

"I hate you."

"Hate you more."

Kara and Lee's eyes both shifted to the Marine guard at the same time. Kara gave him a small wave and turned back to Lee. "How long do you think before the Old Man busts us out of here?"

"An hour more, maybe two."

Kara nodded and looked at the Marine again. "Right. So…"

"So…"

"You might want to do something about that," she paused to point down to his very noticeable erection, "before the Old Man comes to lecture us on setting a good example."

"Frak," Lee hissed. He had one too many arguments with Kara that ended in fraking, and now this happened every single time she started yelling. He moved away from the bars and flung himself on the cot in his cell.

Kara had to fight back a laugh as she heard him trying to take deep, calming breaths. She slid her arms through the bars and smirked. "You think the Marine could be persuaded to let me into your cell? I could take care of that pretty quickly for you."

Lee held his middle finger up for her to see without opening his eyes.

Kara chuckled and pushed off the bars. She laid down on her own cot and shut her eyes. The Marine would wake them up when the decision on what to do with them finally came in.

"What are you doing?"

Lee's voice cut into her thoughts, and she opened one eye to see he was staring at her from his cot. "I'm trying to figure out if I can rearrange my schedule so that you and I can have a little time alone tonight."

Lee rolled his eyes and laid his head back down on the cot's small pillow. "As long as you don't end up hitting me again."

"Don't be a baby."

"Don't be a tease," Lee shot back.

Kara smiled. It was nice to have Lee here to keep her entertained. You could only do so many push-ups before you started losing your sanity.


	77. Learn

_Kara learned the hard way that you don't steal the CAG's underwear while he's in the head and expect no retaliation._

oooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo

Kara learned the hard way that you don't steal the CAG's underwear while he's in the head and expect no retaliation.

Never in a million years did she think it would be this, though.

"I knew you were mysterious, Starbuck, but I never guessed you would withhold so much."

Kara felt her body naturally tense upon hearing Hot Dog's words. The little fraker was always being such a thorn in her side that the anger immediately flared up inside her. "What the frak are you talking about, Constanza?"

"I was playing an interesting game of triad with the CAG last night, and it was rather strange. I think Apollo was actually _trying _to lose."

Kara kept up the façade of not carrying by refusing to look Hot Dog in the eye. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, I was teasing Racetrack because we had just started playing and she was already down to a handful of cubit. I told her there were other things that she could offer me inside of money or smokes. Apollo perked up a bit, and I thought it was just him being a guy, you know. Then he suggested something he used to do in Academy when he ran out of money."

"Betting secrets," Kara hissed. She had a feeling she already knew the rest of this story.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"You people keep forgetting that I went to Academy the same time that the CAG did."

"Right," Hot Dog said, nodding slowly. "Anyway, Lee suggested that Racetrack put up the promise of telling a secret that no one on the ship knows. She agreed, and the game went on. It took me a few rounds of betting to pick up on it, but I've seen the Captain play a lot of cards in our time on this ship. He was _definitely_ trying to not win."

"And why would Lee do that?"

"I couldn't figure it out until I remembered that awesome prank you played on him. It made sense that it was your secret he chose to share when he lost."

"Gods damnit!" Kara growled. Her chair skidded against the metal grating as she pushed to her feet. "I told that stupid fraker that he was a dead man if he ever said anything."

Kat waited until the hatch slammed shut before giving Hot Dog a curious look. "What did you do to piss Starbuck off?"

"It's not what I did. It's what the CAG did." Hot Dog shook his head. "He told me that our lovely Lieutenant is married and has been for over a year now, and I don't think Starbuck's too happy about her secret being out."

oooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo

"Lee Adama! I am going to kill you!" Kara didn't slow down as she barged into the CAG's office. She practically vaulted over the desk and threw her hands around his neck. Lee had time to take one last choking breath before she tightened her hold and started slamming his head against the wall behind him.

It took a few seconds, considering she did take him by surprise, but Lee managed to pry her hands away from his throat. "What the frak is your problem, Kara?"

"My problem is you're a complete asshole," she panted, trying to regain her breath for a second attack. Lee's hands tightened around her wrists as if he knew. She was going to have bruises in the morning. "Why the frak did you tell Hot Dog about our marriage?"

"I didn't tell him about _our_ marriage. I told him _you_ were married."

"There's a difference?"

"A huge one," Lee hissed, flinging her wrists away. His hands came up to rub his neck. "Frak, Kara. That hurt."

"Sorry," she grumbled. "I was pissed off. Scratch that. _Am_ pissed off."

"Hey, you're the one who started it," Lee pointed out.

Kara rolled her eyes. "I stole your fraking underwear, Lee. I didn't tell all your pilots that we were hitched."

"I didn't tell them that _we_ were hitched, either. Why can't you get that?"

"It's only a matter of time before they find out. They're going to keep hounding me until I tell them who my husband is, and you know I have a short fuse."

"Then just explain it to them."

"Explain what? I'm married to the CAG because I got really shit-faced about a year ago and started hitting on some random guy in a bar who turned out not to take no for an answer so you told him we were getting married later that night and the guy turned out to be so nice that he offered to drive us to the priestess and because you and I are so stubborn we wouldn't back down and let this stranger catch us in a lie?" Kara finished her rant and realized Lee's eyes had gone wide. "What?"

"You were shit-faced and you remember all that?"

Kara's face went red. "I looked the guy up a few days later. I wanted to know the details."

"My mother was always right to tell us that we lived a little too freely after Zak died," Lee reminded her. "I mean, we got married, Kara."

Kara shut her eyes and groaned. "You need to never, ever say that phrase out loud, Adama. Never."

"You need to stop being so freaked out. No one's going to figure that it's me you're married to."

"Yes, they are," Kara growled. "Because you are a stupid fraker and told them that I _am _married. Not _was. Am._ That implies my husband is still alive. These people know me, Lee. They know who has been my friend for more than a year, and I'm telling you right now that the only candidates are you, Helo, and Boomer. Although I thought about it a few times, Boomer is out of the question considering she's a toaster." Kara tried not to laugh at the look on Lee's face. As much as she loved Lee, he was such a man. Mention the potential of two women being intimate and he checks his concentration and all coherent thought at the door. "And everyone saw my reaction when we thought Helo died in those initial attacks. I was upset but not like I would have been if my husband had died. They are going to figure it out, Lee. I trained them to be smart."

"Kara, I don't think you're focusing on the right thing here," Lee pointed out.

"And what would that be?"

"The fact that you and I are still married. Everyone's going to understand that we got drunk and ended up hitched. Crazier things have happened." Lee's face slid into a knowing smile, and Kara fought the urge to start choking him again. "What you need to start thinking about is how you're going to explain the fact that we're still married."

Kara's face went white. Lee was right. She was never going to get anyone to believe that she and Lee were just too lazy to get the marriage annulled the day they sobered up. "Frak me," she said. She pushed herself off Lee's lap and sat down on the desk. "What are we going to say?"

"Tell them that you're hopelessly in love with me and you've been denying me a divorce for well over a year now."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they'll believe that."

Lee feigned hurt. "Are you saying that I'm not worth hanging on to?"

"You're worth hanging on to enough to have a chance to kick your ass," Kara growled.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Frak off. I'm working on pure pissed-off-y-ness right now."

Lee shook his head. Kara's vocabulary was a wonder to him. Maybe that could be the reason why they… nope, it wouldn't work.

"Why _did _we stay married?"

Kara's words jolted him away from his thoughts, and he looked up to see she was staring at him expectantly. "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I think you and I were both lonely. You had lost Zak, and I had just fraked things up with Gianne. It was nice to know that someone out there still wanted me… you… us."

"Is that really it?"

"And there was that tax break."

Kara nodded. Yeah, that was nice. "I bought a really nice tank of a car with the money I saved the year before the attack. You would have loved it."

"I lost it all betting against the Bucs on that last playoff games. The mother frakers were the worst team in the league. Who thought they'd win?"

"Helo," Kara volunteered. "He's amazing at understanding the professional pyramid circuit. Lucky fraker won six thousand cubits betting on Caprica." She sighed and tucked her knees under her chin. "But back to the problem at hand. You're a fraking idiot."

"Yeah, I am," Lee agreed. "But think of it this way. If your pilots are trained as well as you think they are, then you and I have a good chance of securing some of the new quarters being built for enlisted spouses."

Kara was about to hit Lee again when his words sunk in. "You know that might not be such a bad thing. I'm a sucker for a little elbow room when I sleep."

"I know," Lee agreed. "I've been stuck in confined spaces with you too many times."

"Oh, Lee, you and I are going to make one hell of a bitter, married couple."

"You know it," Lee chuckled.

They sat in silence for a few moments until Lee started squirming in his chair. "Problem, Captain?"

"Yeah." Lee stopped squirming to glare at her. "And I think you know what that is."

"I want to hear you say it."

"Kara."

"Come on, Lee. Ask nicely."

Lee squinted his eyes at her and groaned when he realized she was serious. "Come on!"

"Ask."

"I hate you."

"But…"

"But I need you, too. In this one instance, I need you. So come the frak on, Kara!"

"I don't recall hearing please."

Lee groaned. "Fine. Can I _please_ have my underwear back, Lieutenant Thrace?"

Kara's laughter carried through the corridor despite the closed hatch.


	78. Defeat

_Kara looked down at the small diamond on her hand and wondered if she really wanted the Cylons to be defeated; good things had only started happening to her after those attacks pushed Lee back into her life, and she didn't want to risk losing that._

_ooooooOOOOOOOooooooo_

Kara knew she should be focusing on the mounds of paperwork in front of her, but it just wasn't happening. She couldn't focus more often than not these days. Somehow she knew that was connected to how happy she was. Back when they first started running from the Cylons, she was as focused as they came.

Being this grateful confused the hell out of her. She didn't know how to handle it.

She tried to push the thoughts to the side and focus on the freighter schedules in front of her, but watching herself write was probably the last thing that would help her concentrate. Sighing, Kara dropped her pen and leaned back in the chair.

The day this whole happiness thing had started was permanently etched in her head. She was still getting used to the memory. It had the bad habit of popping at all the wrong moments. Technically, this was one of them, but she didn't mind the distraction.

Kara shut her eyes and welcomed the memory of the lowest day of her life.

_ooooooOOOOOOOooooooo_

The faint buzzing of the comm handset on his desk woke Lee up. He could feel Dee shift next to him, but when he forced his eyes open, he saw she was still sleeping. Doing his best to be quiet, he slid out of bed and grabbed a shirt off the floor. He paused only briefly at the hatch to wipe his hands across his face and then stumbled over to the desk.

The sound of the comms officer's voice grated on his still very much sleeping nerves. "Call from the planet, patching through."

It was the middle of the night both in the Fleet and on the planet. Lee had no clue who would be requesting this call right now nor did he understand why his crew would be patching it through to him. The line faintly buzzed as the connection was made. "Commander Adama," Lee growled almost on instinct. He really hated being woken up.

The line was silent for well over a minute before a small whisper filtered through. "Hi, Lee."

Lee snapped awake at the sound of her voice. He hadn't heard from Kara for weeks now. The last time he even saw her had been the day she returned from Caprica, the day before she disappeared down onto the Fleet's new home.

The comm went silent. Lee could tell Kara hadn't thought out much beyond that first hello. He also knew that he had no clue what he was supposed to say to her. In the end, when the silence stretched too long, he went with his gut. "It's really good to hear your voice."

There was no response. Lee sighed. She had made the decision to call him, not the other way around. He shouldn't be raking his brain in order to find out something to say to her. "Why are you calling me so late? Why now?"

There was a soft sound on the other end, and it took Lee a minute to realize Kara was crying. He had forgotten how that one small lack of sound could tear his heart in two. "Kara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Finally hearing her respond should have put him at ease. If only her voice wasn't so shaky. If only he couldn't imagine what she looked like in this exact moment. "Kara… I know you better than that. What happened?"

"Nothing," she replied again.

"Kara, stop it. I know when you're upset, and right now, you're upset. You never come to me unless it's really bad so what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying, Lee."

"You are, too," Lee sighed. The line went silent as a complete and utter helplessness washed over Lee. She had been the one to put the distance between them, but that didn't help ease the pain as he began to understand that she needed him and he couldn't be there. There was just too much holding him away. "Why'd you have to do it, Kara?"

The question seemed to take Kara by as much surprise as it took Lee himself. It was a few seconds before she could find her voice. ""Do what?"

"Move down to that planet."

"Why do you care?"

Lee let her question sink in. He knew she was expecting the same answer he always gave her at moments like this, but he didn't really feel like being safe right now. "Because I can't take care of you when you're so far away. I can't look after you, make sure your mistakes are fixed before you even let the guilt sink in. This distance is killing me, Kara. It's killing us."

The line went silent again, and Lee felt himself grimacing. He hated how he always said things like that. Now Kara was going to get uncomfortable and break the connection. It's what she always did. He could practically hear the sound of her begging him not to ask her to come home. Everyone kept telling him that she would come home when and if she was ready and that Lee should push her.

That was all he wanted to do, though. Every time he got wind of how she was doing on New Caprica, he wanted to go down to that surface and push her to come back with him. The skies were her home. They always will be.

The silence stretched on until it was too much for Lee. If she was going to break his heart again, he just wanted to get it over with. "Kara?"

"Why are you whispering, Lee?"

"What?"

"You were whispering everything you said before."

"Dee's asleep in the other room," Lee explained. He knew that it was probably to leave any mention of Dee out of this conversation, but he just didn't feel up to lying to Kara yet again. "I didn't want to wake her."

"She'd be mad," Kara pointed out. "I mean with the whispering and all." There was a pause, and Lee could practically hear the smirk sliding across her face. "Of course, she doesn't have to know."

"Stop, Kara," Lee said, rolling his eyes. He regretted the words the second they fell from his lips.

"Sorry," Kara apologized softly. The little bit of smile Lee had heard slipped away as quickly as it came. "I forgot for a second."

"Forgot what?"

"Forgot that I always seem to say the wrong thing when it comes to you."

"That wasn't wrong," Lee corrected. "It just wasn't well thought out."

Again, the conversation slowly died out. Lee heard a small movement behind him and leaned his chair back to peer through the open hatch. Dee was still sleeping soundly.

"Lee." She said his name so softly that for a second Lee wasn't even sure he had actually heard it, but then she said it again.

"Are you okay?"

Kara waited a minute before answering. "No."

"Is it about Caprica?" Lee waited. When he got no response, he pressed a little harder. "Anders?"

Again it took awhile for her to reply. "Yes. No."

"Which one is it, Kara?"

"I don't know."

Lee shut his eyes and let his head rest in his open hand. "Listen. I'm just going to sit here, Kara. Whenever you're ready to tell me what's wrong, that's what I'll be doing."

She didn't respond. He didn't expect her to.

Listening closely to the steady sound of her breathing on the other half of the line, Lee let himself remember the last time he had spoken with her. The way they had left things when she came to his office before the Raptors left for Caprica had bothered him the whole time she was gone.

He was waiting in Galactica's hangar bay when the Raptors came back to the Fleet. He was the first person to greet her. He was the one who saw the complete look of defeat on her face before she steeled it away. He was the only person who expected what would come next.

She didn't say a word. She just stood there. So Helo stepped forward and explained that they found the resistance. It was down to only a handful of people, and one of those survivors was not Samuel Anders. He had died a few weeks after Kara returned to the Fleet.

Lee had seen Kara broken before. He had been the one to speak to her the day Zak died. He had been at the funeral when she chose to stand beside his father and not him. He heard her crying herself to sleep those first few nights after the attacks.

He had seen Kara broken, and this… _this_ was something completely different.

He was scared.

Helo told him to go back to Pegasus. He said that Kara would probably be ready to talk in the morning. Lee wasn't sure why he listened to Karl Agathon. Maybe it had something to do with Helo's uncanny ability to understand Kara. Maybe Lee was just remembering how Kara tended to lash out when she was in pain.

Either way, he got on that shuttle back to his battlestar, not knowing he was making one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

The next morning, Lee got word that the first round of settlers had left for the planet. Kara went with them.

Lee hated her for running, but he hated himself more for letting her go.

"Thank you."

This time Kara's voice was still soft, but there was that familiar quiet strength behind it. Lee felt himself breathing a sigh of relief. He was about to ask Kara what she was thanking him for when the line clicked. She was gone.

Lee set the handset down on the base as he tried to figure out what just happened. Kara reached out to him for some reason and obviously got whatever it was she was looking for. He wasn't sure why she chose him to be the one to come to or why she had chosen this exact moment, the middle of the night months after New Caprica had become the Fleet's home.

She had gotten something out of the call, but Lee still couldn't shake the nagging feeling that it wasn't enough. Her voice was stronger at the end, and yet there was still some unknown thing laced into that final thank you. His mind had flashed back to the days when they were hunting Scar. She had sounded just like she did back then.

Something was hurting her, and she was trying to be brave and not let it show.

Lee continued to stare at the phone on his desk as he tried to work out why that bothered him so much.

_OoooooOOOOOOOooooooo_

Kara tried her best to get a hold of herself even though she wasn't sure if that was possible anymore.

The air had been raw and cold against her skin as she silently made her way through the village from the Raptor communications hub. She slid herself onto the bed without much thought, only pausing to clutch the blankets around her body.

An hour later, she was neither warm nor in control.

The pain in her heart had been slowly taking over each day she spent on this planet. In the beginning, she didn't care. She figured she deserved it for making Sam a promise that she knew she could never keep. Then it was the way she had left the Old Man and his son without an explanation that had her welcoming the horrible feelings inside.

This morning, when she woke up, she knew. If she didn't do something, she was going to lose it. She was going to do something she couldn't take back.

She had stumbled to the Raptor comm before the rational voice in her head could point out that it was the middle of the night and she hadn't spoken to him in months. The tears began to fall the second she heard his voice. She had missed him so much.

Her eyes stayed locked on the pile of empty bottles sitting by the door. For so long it had been the only thing that made the ache go away. Then it stopped. She drank and drank but nothing faded. The pain was too much.

Kara clamped her eyes shut as the tears threatened to fall again. She had tried to fix this black hole inside of her, but it didn't work. It wasn't enough.

She was going to lose this one last fight.

Her eyes slid open at the sound of her tent flap opening. She clutched the blankets a little tighter and stared at the only man who had ever managed to pull her back from the brink.

Lee stood there, watching her, for what felt like an eternity. Then he moved across the tent and settled onto the bed next to her. She felt it dip under his weight. He hesitated a few minutes before reaching out to rest his hand on her arm. She turned to look at him. "I want you to come home, Kara."

She shook her head even as he was shifting to move his arms around her. "I can't."

"I'm not arguing about this, Kara. You're coming home with me."

"With you?"

Lee nodded and brushed a few stray hairs back from her face. "To Pegasus, effective immediately."

"But what about the Old Man?"

"My father wants you back just as much as I do. He misses you, Kara. He wants you to come home just as much as I do," Lee sighed and tightened his hold on her. "I'm going to do a better job of looking after you this time, Kara. I promise."

Kara burrowed her face into his chest, and Lee sighed as he felt her body begin to shake. She couldn't hide the tears from him now.

Witnessing her coming unglued proved to Lee that he had made the right decision. It had been hard to wake Dee up from his bed, to watch her whole face crumble as he told her the transfer wasn't going to happen, to stay strong as he admitted he had been stupid to let their relationship get this far. He knew he was breaking her heart, but he didn't have the strength to lie anymore. He promised her he was going to stay away so that she could pack up her things in peace, but he didn't have the courage to tell her he was going down to the planet. She would find out soon enough.

Lee felt Kara begin to relax. She was done crying. His hand came up to rub the tears off her cheek, and he felt her lean into his touch. "So tell me what's wrong, Kara."

Kara shut her eyes for a moment, breathing in the scent of the man currently holding her close. She could feel that hole inside of her beginning to heal already.

And then she began to speak.

_ooooooOOOOOOOooooooo_

Kara let her eyes drift open slowly. Each time she did this, she was still taken aback to find that it wasn't a dream. She could remember letting Lee lead her back to the transport. She could remember walking through the halls, people stopping to say hello and welcome her back. She could remember all the nights she woke up from the nightmares and all the times Lee shrunk away from his duties to comfort her.

It was both an unimaginable dream and the most realistic thing she had ever experienced.

The sound of the hatch stirred her away from her thoughts. Lee smiled at her as he stepped into the room. He gestured towards the small bathroom, and Kara remembered his casual mention of helping the Chief out with the maintenance on the new crop of Blackbirds.

Hearing the shower turn on, Kara looked down at the small diamond on her hand and wondered if she really wanted the Cylons to be defeated; good things had only started happening to her after those attacks pushed Lee back into her life, and she didn't want to risk losing that.

She knew what being lost felt like. It had been her life before the attacks, and it had been her life during those brief months of respite on New Caprica. She found she didn't like the thought of peace anymore.

The water shut off and a few moments later, Lee stepped out with only a towel tucked around his waist. He took one look at her and made his way over to the desk. "Come to bed, Kara. The reports can wait."

Kara gave a small nod and let him take her hand. She was okay with the war if it meant she got to be this happy.


	79. Balloon

_Kara wasn't sure how he managed it, but on the morning of her birthday, there was one red balloon sitting on her bunk when she came back from the head._

Kara wasn't sure how he managed it, but on the morning of her birthday, there was one red balloon sitting on her bunk when she came back from the head. Her hand fingered the string lightly, and she smiled.

"Whatcha got there, 'Buck?"

Kara turned to see Hot Dog slip into the bunkroom. She was about to yell at him to get out of the senior officers' quarters when she realized that would be a mistake. He had been promoted last week. She had no clue why she kept forgetting that.

Her hand came out to pull the string towards her. The balloon floated to the ceiling, and Kara tugged it down just before it hit the top. "A balloon," she said, knowing she looked like an idiot with this massive grin on her face.

"Balloons still exist?" Hot Dog asked as he threw himself on his bunk.

"No," Kara confirmed. She turned her attention away from her new bunkmate and back to her present. "How the frak did he do this?"

"Who's he?"

Kara rolled her eyes as Racetrack entered the room. It wasn't even shift change. Why the frak was everyone coming back now? "None of your business," she answered, tightening her hand around the string and making her way to the hatch.

"Starbuck has a secret admirer," Hot Dog teased.

"It's only secret if she doesn't know who it is, you idiot," Racetrack pointed out.

That was the last few words Kara heard as she stepped into the hallway. She wished she could stay and show them that only fools with a death wish tease Kara Thrace, but she had too much on her mind right now.

This balloon's very presence was improbable but not impossible. The impossible part came from Lee's selection of one single red balloon.

"You look very cute with that balloon."

Kara didn't jump when she heard Lee's voice in her ear. Somehow she knew he would find her.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

Kara rolled her eyes. "Let's not play this game, Lee."

"You're welcome."

Kara ignored the stares of people passing by. She knew that her standing in the corridor in sweats with a red balloon in her hand and the CAG at her side was rather strange, but she didn't care. If you couldn't do strange things on your birthday, when could you?

"Come with me," Lee said, motioning her to follow him.

The confusion didn't set in until Lee turned down the corridor leading to his father's office. "You guys don't have some sort of surprise party cooked up, do you?"

"You hate surprise parties," Lee reminded her.

"Which is why you've been trying to throw one for years."

"I figured I'd take a year off and just enjoy your paranoia." Lee punched in a code. and the hatch slid open. "Birthday girls first."

Kara stepped into the office and waited until the hatch shut and Lee brushed past her. He motioned for her to sit down and walked over to the opposite wall. Kara watched him slid a book off the shelf, and in a few seconds, he tossed it into her lap. "It took me months to make it happen, but that was the Old Man's birthday gift this year."

Kara ran her hand along the spine. This was a first edition of a classic Leonis fairytale. It was the story every child heard before bed when they were young, a tradition in all Twelve Colonies. Kara hadn't heard it until she got the flu circulating the Academy her first year. "It's nice, Lee."

Lee shook his head. "The book was just the icing on the cake. The present's inside."

Kara opened the book slowly, expecting to see the insides cut out in order to hide a bottle of moonshine. Instead she found a photograph of a young blonde girl. The little girl was sitting in the park, holding a red balloon and smiling like it was the best day in the history of the Twelve Colonies. "How did you get this?"

"I was the one who cleaned out Zak's apartment at the Academy after the funeral. You and my mother were both too distraught, and my father was already on a shuttle back to Galactica. I found it hidden in his school papers."

Kara ran her finger along the little girl's face. "It was my fifth birthday. All I wanted was to go to the park so when my mother left to go to the store, my dad and I snuck out of the house. He bought that red balloon off a street vendor." Kara paused, and Lee watched the smile slip off her face just a little bit. "He left me a week later."

"I'm sorry."

Kara shrugged. "There's nothing you can do." She closed the picture back into the book and laid it on the Commander's desk. Her hands returned to play with the string attached to the balloon. The air around her felt tense with the silence hanging between them. "Why do you take the picture?"

"There was something so different about that little girl in the picture that I couldn't let it go," Lee admitted, leaning against the desk.

"And how did it get here?"

"I was planning on giving it back to you at the decommissioning ceremony. After a while, it felt weird having it without you knowing. Plus, I figured that you might want the memory. Then the worlds ended, and I knew I had to give it to my father. We both know how much weight he's carrying on his shoulders."

"So that's why the red balloon," Kara observed.

"I figured we could all share the picture now that the Cylon attacks have started to dwindle."

"Share it?" Kara said, raising her eyebrow.

"All I'm asking for is any day I have to write that damn flight schedule. You and the Old Man can duke it out for the others."

Kara shook her head with a chuckle and got to her feet. "You're completely ridiculous sometimes, Lee."

Lee waited until she had reached the hatch before calling out her name. She turned back to him, and he saw the smile on her face for the first time. It mirrored the five-year-old smile currently tucked up in the book by his side. "Happy birthday, Kara."

"Thanks," Kara said.

Lee waited until she had disappeared out the hatch. Then he rushed across the office to stick his head out into the corridor. For the rest of his life, he would always remember the image before him.

Kara Thrace walking down the corridors of Galactica with a red balloon floating at her side.


	80. Never

"_Never is a promise," Lee reminded Kara as he settled into his Viper, "and I like to keep my promises."_

The look of hurt in Lee's eyes mingled with the look of guilt on her face. Kara sighed and turned to face her locker. Her eyes slid shut as she remembered the conversation she had had with Dee before coming over to the Pegasus.

She had been sitting on the table in the middle of the CIC senior officers' bunkroom for well over an hour before Dee finally showed up.

"Starbuck," she squeaked in surprise but quickly recovered. "Lieutenant Thrace, what can I do for you?"

Kara watched her with narrowed eyes. She and Dee had never been on great terms, but the past few weeks they found it hard to be even amicable to one another. Both of them knew it had everything to do with Lee and his new relationship with the petty officer, but neither one was willing to admit it out loud. Dee saw Kara as some sort of competition for Lee's affections, and Kara saw Dee as a woman who had readily given up her chance at happiness after the world end's in order to have a little fun with the Admiral's son.

"I don't have time to play your games," Dee hissed, rolling her eyes as she passed Kara on her way to her duty locker.

Kara hopped off the table and strode over to Dee's side. "I came to talk about Lee."

Dee's hands faltered in their rattling through the locker, and she turned to stare at Kara. "Really?"

Kara crossed her arms in front of her and steeled her gaze. She reminded herself that she was only going through this bullshit because she loved Lee so much. "Lee's been slipping away ever since the Blackbird blew up. He'd never admit it, but he is."

Dee leaned against her locker. "Agreed."

"He's lost his sense of duty, his faith in both his father and in President Roslin, his ability to fly-"

"Because of you," Dee cut in.

Kara dug her nails into her arms to keep from lashing out. "I'm not pretending I don't have a part in this." Kara sighed. "Listen. I just want to fix this before it's too late."

"I'm not sure anything's really broken," Dee insisted.

"Then you're blind. Because from what I see, Lee's still floating out there in space, waiting for his friends and family to come rescue him, and he's losing his grip more and more each day." Kara shut her eyes for a moment to remember why she was doing this and then forged ahead. "You've got to give him something to live for, Dee. I don't know what that is or how you can do it, but if you feel anything for Lee, you'll figure it out." Kara held her gaze for a second to push her point across and then made her way to the open hatch. She hoped to the gods Dee checked her ego and listened to what she was trying to say. Lee's life depended on it.

Kara's eyes caught in the mirror on the temporary locker she was given on Pegasus, and she pulled herself back into the present. The look of complete defeat was right there on Lee's face. Dee had fraking blown it. Kara sighed. Well, the petty officer was just going to have deal with the consequences.

"You know I really tried to be like you in the beginning, Lee." She watched his face in the mirror as it lit up in confusion and summed up the bravery to face him. "As much as I teased you, you were a good CAG. I have no idea how you managed to watch your pilots slowly dwindle away and still stay strong enough to lead. It was like you turned yourself off, and I fraking admired that. I wish I could feel it a little less."

She watched the confusion fade from his face to be replaced by concern, and she felt her heart tighten. He wasn't quite that lost if she could still stir up worry in his heart. "Something shifted, though. Something pushed you over the edge when you almost died on the resurrection mission. You became cold. Both your father and I were too wrapped up in our own issues to noticed until it was too late."

Kara took a hesitant step toward him and when he didn't warn her to stay back, she kept moving. "Then you almost died on the Prometheus, and although I still don't know a lot about what happened those few weeks, I know that you were different when you came back."

"I don't know how you could notice something like that. If I remember correctly, you were pretty drunk most days."

Kara stopped a few feet away and nodded. She hadn't expected this to be easy. "It would take a lot more alcohol than what's left in the Fleet for me not to see that you were faltering just as much as I was."

"But for different reasons, right?"

"Yes and no," Kara admitted. "We're not talking about me, Lee, at least not at the moment. We're talking about you."

"_You're_ talking about me," Lee corrected.

Kara nodded. He was right. At this point she had been doing most of the talking, but that was normal. Whenever one of them confronted the other, it was more monologue, less conversation. "I guess now would be the time to apologize for what I did to you when we were hunting Scar."

"Scaring the frak out of me by going completely suicidal?"

Kara's eyes went wide. She hadn't expect that little admission, but she would take it. "Were you really scared?"

"You're my best pilot," Lee rattled off.

Kara nodded. He was back to the same old defenses, but she wasn't going to forget that he had slipped for just a second. She would simply have to save it for later. "I'll apologize for that, too, but I was talking about what I did to you in that bunkroom. I'm sorry for jerking you around until you didn't know which way was up. I knew what I was doing, and looking back I hate that I let myself do it."

The silence filled the air between them as Kara waited for him to respond. "All right. So we've been though the resurrection mission, my work with the black market, the way you fraked me up during the Scar fiasco. I guess that brings us to you shooting me."

Kara felt her face go pale with the memory of that day, but she wasn't going to let it get to her. "I know you won't believe me, but I came to check on you every day you were in sickbay. I didn't stay because I figured I was the last person you wanted to see."

"That was a good assumption."

Kara shook her head. "No, I really don't think it was. We haven't been the same for months, but I swear to the gods I could hear us fracture in two the day you got out of sickbay. In that moment when you looked at me and I saw no emotion at all in your eyes, I knew it was my fault. You weren't mad because I shot you. You didn't resent me for an accident that could have happened to any one of us. You resented me because I wasn't strong enough to face what we had become. I couldn't live up to my mistakes and deal with the one person in my life who I kept hurting over and over again."

"I don't think-"

Kara held up her hand, cutting him off. "No, Lee. Let me finish. The way you've been treating me since the Old Man sent you over here has been killing me. The man I knew, the one who ended up with this Fleet by some miracle of the gods, the man who stepped in to save my ass when I was standing in the middle of the pilots' break room stumbling over the names of all the pilots that have gone on to the next life… he lost himself somewhere along the way, and more than that, I lost you, Lee."

Figuring she had laid everything on the line already, Kara took the last step. She reached out her hand to cup his cheek and smiled. "I can save you if you'd just give me a chance."

"And I need saved?"

The question didn't have the bitter edge Kara had been expecting so it gave her the courage to nod. "We both do."

Lee stayed frozen as she leaned in to brush a kiss softly across his lips. Kara hadn't expected a reaction. She tightened her fingers in his hair and deepened the kiss.

His hand tightened on her forearms, and Kara felt her body being pushed back. "You need to stop this, Kara, before you do something you regret."

"I have already done a million things I regret," she whispered, keeping her hands firmly in place. "This is me deciding that I'm going to do something that I will _never_ regret."

"Why?"

His question was so raw and unguarded Kara felt the confident words she had been spouting this whole time catch in her throat. She had him where she wanted him. She just needed to prove she could go to that same vulnerable place. "Because as much as I want to save you, I need you to save me, too. Since this whole mess with the Cylons started, you have been the only thing that's kept me hanging on. So you see, if you're lost, so am I."

"Are you asking _me_ to save _you_?"

Kara couldn't help but smile at the teasing tone of his voice. It was so familiar and yet lately it had been so foreign that she almost couldn't believe it. "I'm hoping, Lee." Kara pushed up onto her tiptoes and gave Lee another kiss. This time, he responded just a little bit, and so she plunged forward, running her tongue along the edge of his lip until he opened his mouth to her. His arms tightened around her body for a brief second before he pulled back. Kara felt a secret pleasure at seeing him shake his head slightly as he tried to focus.

"What about Dee?"

Kara shook her head and pulled Lee out of the open hatchway. "I gave Dee her chance. She blew it. Now it's my turn."

Lee shot her a look and got a smile in return that he found extremely familiar. "I thought… well, you implied that you were focused on saving this Anders guy."

"I was. I am." Kara sat down on her temporary bunk and pulled Lee down with her. She shifted her body to straddle his waist and smiled. "Things are different, though. Anders isn't the one who needs me right now."

"And later?" Lee asked. "What if he needs you then?"

"Then I'll help him as much as I can." Kara let her hands roam Lee's chest before slowly unbuttoning his jacket. "I mean, I have a lot of connections in this place. The Old Man loves me, and I happen to be fraking his son."

Lee's eyebrows shot up. "Fraking?"

"Well, I will be if you ever shut up," she teased. She pushed the jacket off his shoulders. She had almost leaned down to start kissing him again when Lee's hands shot up to grip her wrists. His grip was firm, and it made her straighten up in the bunk. "Lee?"

"I want something to be clear here. You're still going to save Anders. From what Helo's told me, you made him a promise, and I'm not going to let you go back on that just because you feel some sort of responsibility to me."

"What I feel for you is so much more than responsibility," Kara whispered. She leaned down to kiss the small scar on his shoulder.

Lee moved his hands up to cup her face and smiled. "Okay."

"Okay?" Her voice was hesitant. She wasn't aware she had asked him a question.

"I'm pretty damn lost right now, Kara, and you're right. I do need help figuring out how to fix that."

Kara didn't try to fight the grin that spread across her face, and she moved down to kiss him with a vengeance.

"Major Adama, please report to Hangar Bay B. Major Adama, Hangar Bay B."

"Frak me," Lee hissed as Kara's kisses traveled down his neck. "Kara…"

"Ignore it. It's just fraking Garner trying to assert his authority."

Kara found that Lee was very easily persuaded in his current lost state, especially when she let her lips and hands do most of the persuading. His fingers were just starting to tease her tanks up over her head when the second page came through.

"I have to answer that, Kara," Lee whispered, slowly pushing her to the side of the bunk. As he got to his feet, he leaned down to pick up his jacket. He could feel Kara's eyes on him as he fixed the last few buttons and did his best to calm himself.

He made his way over to the comm set on the wall and dialed in the number to the hangar bay. It appeared like his father had a pressing matter for him to attend to back on Galactica, so pressing that he was being cleared to fly a Pegasus Viper over so that he didn't have to wait until the next Raptor shuttle. It seemed like his father was going to need his input even more now that he was a Major.

Lee suddenly remembered his father speaking of some breakthrough they were on the edge of. It was something to do with the identity of another Cylon model. That had to be it if the Old Man wanted to speak with him in person and it couldn't wait until his job on the Pegasus was complete.

"You're not going to pretend like this didn't happen when you get back, are you?"

The question was so quiet Lee barely heard her. When the words finally found their way to the heart of him, Lee turned to look at her. She had a familiar look of worry on her face, one that had he had seen too much of over the past few months. Only this time it was different. This time the worry was directed towards him and had nothing to do with how much ambrosia she'd been drinking.

Lee walked back to the bunk and, reaching inside, grabbed her hand. Kara let him yank her to her feet without protest. She knew better than to say anything until Lee answered her question. She allowed him to lead her through the corridors, ignoring the strange looks they received from the crew.

"I have to go back to Galactica for a few hours," he said softly as he pulled to a stop beside a Viper. He wondered if Kara even noticed that it was hers. "The Old Man wants to speak with me about something important."

Lee took the flight suit one of the deckhands was holding out to him and quickly stripped down his dress blues. He tried to ignore the stares he got and fought back a grin. It wasn't everyday that a Major of the Colonial Fleet found cause to get almost completely naked in the most public area in the ship. As soon as he was changed, Lee took the helmet the deckhand was offering him and started to climb the ladder.

"Lee?" Kara couldn't hide the fear in her voice. It trembled even in speaking the lone syllable of his name.

"I'm going to hold you to everything you said," he said softly, staring down at her from the top run of the ladder. "I will never let either one of us fall that far again."

Kara's eyes glistened with tears. She hadn't actually expected this to work, but she would thank the gods for it every day for the rest of her life. "Are you sure?"

"Never is a promise," Lee reminded Kara as he settled into his Viper, "and I like to keep my promises."


	81. Sojourn

_Kara and Lee promised to never tell anyone about the few days she spent living in Lee's apartment on Picon after the funeral._

Kara and Lee promised to never tell anyone about the few days she spent living in Lee's apartment on Picon after the funeral.

It wasn't the guilt or some misguided sense of having made a mistake that kept them silent.

Sometimes there were things simply too private to share.

The knock on his door came at two in the morning. Lee ignored it as he poured himself another glass of whiskey. The liquid burned his throat, but it didn't stop the pounding. Growling, he slammed down the glass and got to his feet. He staggered slightly on his way across the room and only cursed a few times before ripping the door open. The sight waiting for him on the other side made his heart drop out.

Kara looked a mess. She had a bag clutched tightly in her hand. Her dress blue jacket was completely unbuttoned, its fabric so wrinkled it was barely recognizable. Her hair was half in her face, and her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying.

"I…" Kara bit down on her lip as her voice cut out. She had no clue why she was here. She had been in the spaceport, prepared to go back to Delphi where she would hole up in her flat and drink away this latest heartache, and then she was on a shuttle to Picon. All she had was the sweatshirt and shorts she had changed out of that morning before the funeral. Her feet had taken her to his doorstep even before her mind realized that was her destination. "I don't know why I'm here."

Lee watched her for a moment before pushing the door open. "Come in."

Kara's head went down, and she stepped past him, pausing only to drop her bag. Lee shut the door and leaned against the wall, watching her attention slowly sweep across his home. Her eyes came to rest on him for only a few moments and then went back to staring at her surrounding. Lee knew he should probably feel self-conscious, standing here in only a pair of sweatpants with his brother's fiancee, but he was too drunk to care.

She felt Lee's eyes on her as she stepped up to the table in the middle of the room and rang a finger along the almost empty bottle of alcohol. For some reason, she didn't think this was how Lee would cope with his brother's death. Then again, he was always the best at closing off, and alcohol would only make it easier.

Reality hit him like a brick wall as he watched her brush her tears away with the back of her hand. He had only known Kara for a year and a half, but he was ready to do anything to keep her from ever looking this lost again. "You can stay as long as you want."

Kara's eyes flicked up to meet his. "The last shuttle for Caprica leaves in an hour."

Lee pushed off the wall and walked over to her side. "You can stay as long as you want."

Kara gave a small nod, and the next thing she knew she was reaching out for him and his arms were holding her up and she was finally losing it. That last little bit of strength was gone.

Lee wasn't sure what came over him. He and Kara had been friends since the first moment Zak introduced them, but never once had he let his heart factor into the way he treated her. He had known for a few months now that he was in love with his brother's girl. He hadn't let it show.

But there was something about having her chose to be with him when she was so broken and bruised. Lee had never been the kind of man who was insecure about the choices he made or the world he chose to live in. His resolve didn't break easily and he had enough pride for a dozen pilots, but there was something about Kara Thrace that made that null and void.

Which was why when she looked up at him, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, he knew he didn't have a prayer. The kiss was gentle at first. Then he felt her fingers thread themselves through his hair, tightening her hold on him.

He didn't have very far left to fall, but in that moment, he hit rock bottom. He was lost.

Nothing mattered. The rational thought that this was the woman who had desperately loved his brother only days earlier didn't penetrate his mind.

Kara was kissing him.

He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't do this. She wasn't ever supposed to find out what he felt for her. He made a decision, and he wasn't going to compromise.

Her lips were convincing him that he was wrong.

Right now, in this moment, Lee knew he would do anything and everything she asked him.

Kara was the one left confused when they finally broke apart, the desperate need for oxygen overruling everything else. Lee had an excuse for kissing her. He was drunk. What she couldn't figure out was why she had kissed him back. Sure, she could blame it on the guilt and the pain, but that was the easy way out. Because if an easy lay was what she was looking for to block out the ache, she could have had that with over five dozen men she passed on her way to this point.

Never in her life had Kara met something she couldn't resist. There wasn't a man she couldn't turn down if that's what she decided she wanted to do. It was that way with Zak. He was one of her students. She knew that the rules said she couldn't let him take her out for a drink, but she was infamous for breaking the rules. She could have said no to him in a second and not regret it one bit.

She said yes because she didn't see a reason to say no.

Kara knew that at any moment in their relationship, she could have walked away. If things got too heavy to fast, she could walk away. If Zak turned out to not care for her like he kept insisting, she could walk away. If the fire fizzled out or threatened to consume her completely, she could walk away. If her ability to fly was threatened, if they wanted to take away her lifeline, she could walk away.

It would hurt… but she could walk away. She _would _walk away.  
_  
_Yet she currently had Zak's brother leaning against her. She was effectively pinned against a wall, and his head was resting on her shoulder as he fought to get his breath back.

She had spent years of her life walking away from the things that scared her yet here, in this moment, she couldn't do it. She couldn't walk away from Lee.

She felt Lee shift a few inches and then he was kissing that familiar sweet spot on her neck, the one it took most guys weeks to figure out. She wanted to push him away, to tell him that they couldn't, but there wasn't one part of her body willing to cooperate.

Nothing had ever had this much control over her. She had worked too hard to let that happen. Being able to call her life her own was something she fought for since the moment she left her mother and her childhood behind. This world she lived in had worked so perfectly for years. Up until this moment, she had never realized how much she had been hiding, though. She had never had this much to lose, and she had never cared less about losing it.

Lee felt her tremble against the soft touch of his lips, and he knew he should pull back and apologize. They should not be doing this.

He knew what pulling back would mean. He was a strong man so he knew he could do it. He could apologize, admit that he was wrong, knowing what would come of it. He would lose her. He would sever the last ties he had to her, and she would walk straight out that door and out of his life.

He had lost many things that way over the years ranging from his relationship with his father, the Commander, to his own passion for flying. Nothing he had ever lost was missed, at least not before this moment. The answer why that was made him pause in his gentle caressing of her skin.

It would hurt to lose her because he had never in his life been this much in love. He had never wanted something as much as he wanted Kara.

She pulled his chin up so that she could kiss him again, and Lee let his thoughts fade away. It was out of his hands.

For the first time in years, he didn't want the control. Smiling, Lee let everything go.

Kara pushed off the wall and started backing their bodies towards the couch. She was a fool to be doing this, but she couldn't stop.

With one taste, she had become addicted.

For three days and three nights, they stayed in that bubble, not talking, just feeling. And then on the fourth morning, Lee woke up to feel the bed empty next to him.

It wasn't a surprise. He had known in the beginning that she was never going to stay. There was just too much pressure on their shoulders.

Lee let out a long sigh and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe someday when they were both stronger, more sure of what was going on inside of them, they would figure out what had just happened. Someday they would find the meaning behind the actions.

Until then, he was determined to feel no shame.


	82. Sordid

_Their affair had always had a hint of sordidness to it, but it was only when Lee whispered how much he loved her that Kara truly understood the sin they were committing._

Kara felt her thoughts drifting away from the flight schedules in front of her. The CAPs were just a formality these days so it wasn't like it mattered if they were balanced and fair.

A lot of things no longer mattered. Life had changed with the appearance of New Caprica. Kara found herself hesitating to follow the crowds down to the surface. There was a wariness to trusting the Cylons wouldn't find them, and that nagging feeling just wouldn't go away. So she continued on, doing the only thing she knew, here in the skies. The only shift was she began expanding her duties to include both Galactica and Pegasus. She took on the workload of CAG for both ships, and yet she still found herself with too much time on her hands. The skies became lonelier than ever.

Kara let out a deep sigh. She had never thought her life would come to something so exhaustingly boring.

"Is something wrong, Captain?"

Kara looked up from her report at the man sitting across from her. Lee looked just as bored as she did. "Nothing," she lied.

They both returned to their work for a few minutes, but Kara couldn't say she was surprised when Lee started talking again. Just recently she found herself realizing how much he hated silence.

"My father said that you asked for an off-shift tonight."

Kara nodded and kept her eyes firmly locked on the papers in front of her.

"Are you going down to the surface?"

Kara nodded again and tried to wait out the silence, hoping he would get uncomfortable and move on to another topic. She wasn't that lucky.

"How are things down on New Caprica?"

"Good. The construction of the city is coming along nicely," Kara offered.

Lee nodded and let his eyes hold hers until it was too much. His gaze shifted down to his papers, and Kara found herself openly staring at him for the first time in a long while. He looked exhausted and yet full of impatience. Kara couldn't help but notice that Lee looked like a soldier who had had his war taken away from him. He had no purpose these days, just like the rest of us.

Lee shifted to look at her again, and Kara felt her heart freeze at the notion that the topic of her off-shift had still not been dropped. "What are you going to do down on the surface?"

"I'm… I'm going to visit some of the retired pilots. Racetrack, Showboat, Duck. They miss their queen of triad." Kara hoped the teasing tone of her words hid the fact that they were a complete lie. Both she and Lee knew why she was going down to the surface, and it had nothing to do with her old friends.

Kara had no clue why she felt the need to hide her relationship with Anders from Lee. When she had first brought the ex-pyramid player to the Fleet, they did anything but hide how enamored they were of each other.

But the captivation wore off. The relationship stayed, yet Kara found herself flaunting it a little less. She was happy, but so were many others. With the discovery of New Caprica, everyone was making the push of settling down to a happy life. People were getting married at every turn, finding joy in places they had long given up.

"Say…" Lee cleared his throat as the words caught in his throat. "Say hello to them from me."

Kara lowered her eyes with a nod. He knew.

It wasn't like Lee was going to hate her for what she was trying to do. She had been searching for what was right for so long. Really, she figured it went back to when she was little, trying to survive under her mother's "watchful" eye. She wanted to find that niche were everything just clicked together.

It kept avoiding her.

She was happy with Anders to the point of knowing it was love. She was settled in her job even if it had shifted into something so different than what she thought it would be. She had family and friends to finally support her, people whose respect she had earned with blood and tears and a common bond of survival.

Yet there was a hint of wrong to the situation. Something wasn't right. She was hiding how often she was meeting Anders. Every time she had to sneak away for a night, she told Lee a lie.

More often, those lies were spreading to the Old Man, too, which was absurd. William Adama had never condemned her for wanting to be happy with Anders. He had even told her he approved. Granted, it was a reluctant approval and took a few months for him to give, but it _was _an approval in the end.

She knew neither the Old Man nor Lee would hate her for being with Anders, and yet she lied.

Kara looked up at the man sitting across from her, and for just a brief second, she felt the urge to apologize for being unfaithful. Lee's eyes met hers, and he nodded, completely oblivious to how dangerous her thoughts were right now. Kara felt the need to apologize sweep away. It was ridiculous. They weren't in a relationship like she and Anders were. She wasn't cheating on Lee by going to see her boyfriend.

She pushed the thoughts from her head and worked on the last few lines of the flight schedule. It was due to be signed by both Lee and his father before she could go on her trip to New Caprica. Anders would be mad if she fed him the same excuse about flight schedules that she always used when she was late. It was odd how mostly Sam understood her so well, but sometimes, usually when it had something to do with Lee or her job as CAG, he didn't understand her at all.

They were still working out the kinks in their relationship even after all this time. It was one of the things that told Kara she might be doing this right for once. Nothing that was good in her life came easy.

Kara shut the folder on the completed flight schedule and took a deep breath. She just might make it down to the city on time.

"You'll be back tomorrow, right?"

Lee's voice reminded her of when she was five and would ask her father if he was going to come home after his tour of shows were over. Every time, she had to say goodbye, she was afraid it would be the last time she saw her father. She was afraid he would wake up and realize she was a horrible little girl just like her mother always said. He wouldn't want to put up with her anymore, and he would leave her alone.

Lee's voice shook with that open fear, and Kara felt her heart clench with the knowledge that she had put that there.

"Yeah, I'll be back." Kara stood up and walked around the table. She let herself give into the urge to run her hand along Lee's back as she passed him. They barely touched these days.

Lee would run those words of promise through his head for weeks when he found himself creating flight schedules and fielding complaints of personality problems between pilots. He would remember how he believed she was telling the truth as his father tried to explain why it had happened. Those four words were all he had as one day stretched into seven which stretched into thirty which was when he lost count.

Kara never returned.

She got married.

Kara felt his arms reaching around to hold her body close. The sheets were warm beneath them. The stubble on his chin scratched her shoulder as he shifted in his sleep, and Kara shut her eyes.

This was more than love. It was her whole reason of being. It was what got her up in the morning after she remembered what her life had become.

Every morning, she got out of bed and had to look the man she loved in the face, knowing that she was happy and yet not. She was tired of doing this, tired of lying, of looking for reasons why this was neither right nor wrong. She was tired of searching for what was right and finding the answer when it was too late.

This was killing her.

Their affair had always had a hint of sordidness to it, but it was only when Lee whispered how much he loved her that Kara truly understood the sin they were committing.

This was both right and wrong, and it killed Kara a little more each day.

It had taken her so long to realize she had been mistaken all those years she was searching for love. Since she was little, all she wanted was to love and be loved in return. She had finally found it only to realize she needed more.

She needed something more than love.

And that was why she knew she was not going to give up the man whose arms she was currently curled up in, a man with a wedding ring similar to hers but different in the most important way.

Let the gods damn them for the pain this would cause one day. She was done trying to please anyone but herself.


	83. God

_God had a plan for Kara Thrace and Lee Adama, but there were only so many of his children he could sacrifice to give them what they wanted._

God had a plan for Kara Thrace and Lee Adama, but there were only so many of his children he could sacrifice to give them what they wanted.

The first sacrifice made was a small one. A lonely Raider for the opportunity to give the children of Zeus a taste of what it was like to fly alone. And it worked. He pushed himself harder than ever before, and she came up with a plan that was so out of the box that it had to work. God didn't help her pilot the Raider.

And so the Fleet regained its precious daughter at the expense of one small enemy ship. The sacrifice would come back to hurt them later.

The second mistake was made by simply letting the Fleet take one of their tylium mines. Humanity needed to keep running. God's plan was not in place yet. Letting him take the lead while she was so physically weak helped even the playing field. Artemis learned to have respect for her Apollo, but tragically, it didn't last.

God's plan almost came to fruition during humanity's silly memorial holiday. The work done during the loss of the tylium mine set events in motion that no one could stop.

Yet when it came down to it, the truth was staring God in the face. It was too much, too soon. He wasn't ready to admit his feelings, still finding them inappropriate and ill-timed. She wasn't ready to face the consequences of what was lurking inside of her.

The largest sacrifice was made when she left him behind with the taste of his blood on his lip and an apology ringing in his ears. God had sent one of his followers to punish her. She needed to learn that the will of God was not to be trifled with.

Kara Thrace proved tougher than at first glance. She killed the Six model without a second thought. For that action, she was punished. God did not like being proven a fool.

After reevalutation, it became evident that God was going to have to push a little harder. It was time to get just a bit more clever and a lot less subtle.

The virus wreaked havoc through the battlestar, and in the end, it took almost killing both of the children of Zeus to get them to face one another. Together they stayed alive, but the metaphor was lost in the fallout.

It was the renegade Cylon that kept the virus from following its true purpose. God decided that, baby or no baby, Sharon would pay.

Then, it was time to make the final sacrifice for one of the followers of God. Gina was a good disciple, taking the punishment of being unmasked weeks before she was needed simply to put herself into place. She managed to place the dormant FTL coordinates in the CIC's system before letting herself be taken. When the time came, Pegasus jumped right to its brother.

And the children learned what it was like to be taken from the father.

The next sacrifice was hard to make. So many innocent lives were lost to break down Apollo's ability to fly. His wings were taken right along with his pride.

The point was to drag him down so she could pick him up. It had happened perfectly when it was the daughter down on the planet and the son in the air, but for some reason, the opposite only pushed them apart. He struggled for a reason to keep fighting, and she let herself get caught up in inconsequential details.

God was not scared. His will would be done. To prove his lack of fear, he prepared to sacrifice one of his best.

Scar.

The situations spun out of control, too fast for even God to intervene. They were speaking, being honest for the first time in a long while, and then they were being more than honest. Victory was within reach, but she pushed him away. Humanity's drug mixed with the feelings inside her, and it exploded.

This time, when he almost died, it was no one's fault but her own.

God did the only thing he could, making sure the criminals' lives ended as soon as possible. Lee Adama was not supposed to die. Destinies would be clouded to the point of no return. He could not be lost, not yet.

The pain from his shoulder faded, but the pain in his heart did not. This time he did not drown in his thoughts. Instead, he simmered in his anger until he had the opportunity to take a chunk out of her heart as compensation.

A small glimmer of hope shining between them was all God needed. The truth was becoming painfully obvious. The children of Zeus could not be pushed into anything, but given time, they would naturally drift to their destiny.

You could not run from destiny.

The two children of Zeus needed to be with one another. They needed to have a child. They would show the Cylons the true way to create new life, and with that new life, the son of Zeus would never grow to take control from his father's aging hand. He would never feel the pain that would push him to the edge of sanity. With the daughter of Zeus by his side, the dying leader of humanity would never be.

Yes, God had a plan.

And all he needed was time.


	84. Horizon

_The horizon of New Picon lit up with explosions, and Lee turned to Kara, "I guess the third time isn't the charm."_

They had been fighting so long that it felt like second nature to wake up to the sound of explosions all around. Kara felt her husband stir beside her, and within seconds, they were scrambling for their clothes.

As soon as her pants were zipped, she dropped to her knees and started sweeping her arm under the bed. She hit a familiar metal box and yanked it out with all her strength. The dust caught in her throat, but she only gave herself the luxury of coughing once. There wasn't time.

Blinking her now stinging eyes, she recalled the dust that clogged up everything on New Kobol. It had been the Fleet's second attempt to make a new start sixteen months after the tragedy on New Caprica. That planet had torn them in two during the occupation and through all the damages when Pegasus and Galactica returned. The wounds had just healed when they came up on the desert planet.

The plan had been just to pick up any available supplies and move on. No one was stupid enough to suggest they stay, no matter how nice the planet looked. Burdens were meant to be carried; otherwise they wouldn't be burdens. It would have worked if it wasn't for the dust.

Pegasus's engines became clogged along with half the ships in the Fleet within seconds of entering the atmosphere. It was quickly apparent that they're weren't going anywhere until the Chief came up with a way to flush the engines and prevent re-clogging. They settled in and after a few months, people _did_ start wondering if maybe this was it. The Cylons didn't show up even though there was nothing keeping them away. They weren't masked by a nebula this time.

A lot of mistakes… stupid, foolish choices… had been made on New Kobol, and it took years to repair that damage. Kara knew that firsthand. Although she was one of loudest protesters settling down on the planet, she was also one of the ones who made the worst mistakes. The Fleet almost didn't make it out of this one alive because of her.

A large bang pulled her away from the memories. She wasn't on New Kobol anymore. Those mistakes had been long forgiven. She took the dogtags being held out to her and smiled as the familiar weight settled around her neck. It had been a long time.

Kara flipped the latch on the dusty box and almost giggled as it snapped off completely. She guessed they could have picked a less-used box for this, but it was too late to go back now. This one was sturdy, secure enough to last decades without harm. Its insides looked barely touched.

The weight of the gun in her hand was as familiar as the tags around her neck, and Kara bit back a smile. She slid the weapon into the waistband of her pants before reaching down to grab another to join it.

The final two guns in the case weren't loaded which meant they hadn't been when he handed them to her to be packed this box five months earlier. Her husband was a more trusting man than she was. Kara snapped in clips and then tossed them into his waiting hands.

"Reminds you of the old days, right?" she teased.

He gave her an annoyed look and shook his head. "Things were a lot different when it was you, me, and the resistance running from those Cylons." He paused before pointing out. "Every single one of these fraking 'lay down your burdens' planets is different."

"At least we were ready this time." Kara could already hear the sounds of the Fleet ships being powered up. The evacuation was in progress.

"Barolay, Sharon, and Helo are probably waiting for us in the square."

Kara nodded and grabbed her old jacket, the one she had worn for so many cold months on New Caprica. The weight felt familiar, though not quite as comforting as the guns. She was pretty sure that said something important about the way she chose to live her life, but she didn't have time to dwell on it.

Together they jogged across the tent and through the flaps. Outside was a surprisingly quiet chaos. Everyone knew the jobs that needed to be done by this point.

The horizon of New Picon lit up with explosions, and Lee turned to Kara, "I guess the third time _isn't_ the charm."

Kara rolled her eyes. If he honestly thought she believed the prospect of fighting the Cylons again didn't excite him, then he was an idiot. Lee was a man who needed a war, which in the end was why their marriage worked. He needed a handful like her in his life. "Let's go be heroes."


	85. Whiskey and Rum

_Kara could taste the whiskey on Lee's mouth as they celebrated the discovery of the thirteenth colony, and when his lips moved to tickle her neck, she wondered if he could taste the rum that had been sprayed on her in the chaos of their success._

Kara could taste the whiskey on Lee's mouth as they celebrated the discovery of the thirteenth colony, and when his lips moved to tickle her neck, she wondered if he could taste the rum that had been sprayed on her in the chaos of their success.

The celebration was pure chaos as years of tension finally faded away. The weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders, and Kara let herself breathe for the first time in so long.

Lee pulled away from her, and Kara let out a loud scream of joy at the familiar sight of his smile. She had missed this.

In the beginning, she didn't even realize it was fading. They still joked and laughed those first few months, but then the novelty of being alive wore off. In its place stood the knowledge that the responsibility of being alive was on their shoulders. No one else could save humanity. No one else could keep them worthy of saving.

She didn't see Lee smile a lot after the day she voiced that horrible thought.

Her eyes scanned the hangar bay as Lee pulled her into another hug. She knew she should be the one slapping everyone on the back and congratulating them. It was probably in the official job description of CAG somewhere between what to do in the event of a holocaust and how to handle being in love with your commanding officer's son.

How to act in the event that you found salvation from extinction. Kara would love to know what that entry would sound like.

Her eyes caught with Sam's. He was standing on the other end of the hangar, enjoying a drink with a few of the Marines and deckhands. His hand came up in a small wave, and Kara gave him a smile. It had taken a long time to repair things between herself and Samuel Anders.

She had once thought nothing could be more painful than when she lost Zak. She was wrong. Somehow she had ignored the blissful closure that the death of her fiance had given her. Dealing with Anders, knowing what they had once had and not knowing how it had gone wrong, was the most gut-wrenchingly painful act she had ever had to do.

That little wave was a product of years of hard work.

A spray of something wet hit her back, pulling her attentions away from Sam. She jumped away on instinct, out of the reach of Lee's arms. The stickiness of the alcohol was already causing her tanks to stick to her. A soft chuckle filled the air. She wasn't surprised to hear it. She knew it was Karl long before she turned around to face him.

Helo was braced for a vicious right hook, which was why he was caught by surprise when she flung herself into his arms. His shoulders relaxed as his arms tensed, and Kara felt her feet leave the ground as he crushed her against him. "I really didn't think we'd both make it," he admitted after a moment.

"Me, too. The Fleet frak-up and the toaster lover, that's an unlikely pair of survivors."

Helo set her down on the ground. He paused for a second before leaning in to sniff her hair. Kara tried not to laugh at the phony look of disgust plastered across his face. "Kara, you haven't smelled this drunk since Scar." He smirked. "It suits you."

Kara smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Karl, I haven't been this happy since… well… ever."

Another round of cheers rang through the hangar, and Kara felt a familiar pair of hands wrap around her waist. Before she could turn, she felt her feet leave the ground again, only this time she was being picked up completely. She let out a laugh as a few pilots nearby started catcalling and pulled Lee's lips down to hers.

The kiss was gentle but firm, his quiet way of telling her that everything was going to change now, no matter if she wanted it to or not. She couldn't help but sigh at the feeling of having him so close. He made her feel protected.

"We did it," Lee whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

She felt her smile widen. "Yes, we did."

What she had with Lee was nothing like what she had had with Sam. Sam gave her stability, something to look forward to. He was a potential future, a way to make her life better than what she always thought it could be. Sam was a desire, a need to fight. He had filled her thoughts from the second she left him on Caprica to the moment she returned to find him alive. She had learned to love him through the distance of space. He was the smart decision, the man who was ready to offer her anything she wanted. There was nothing he did that reminded her of Lee.

Samuel Anders and Lee Adama were the opposite in every way, and in the end, that was what the most painful decision of her life was based on.

Sam was a glimmer of hope in the back of her mind.

Lee… Lee was in her blood.

Kara smiled and pulled her XO into another kiss, this time making it worthy of the catcalls they were receiving.


	86. Lock

_Every now and then, Kara would find her eyes locking with Lee's from across the hanger bay, and she would wonder why something as simple as a small wink could make her heart stop._

Every now and then, Kara would find her eyes locking with Lee's from across the hanger bay, and she would wonder why something as simple as a small wink could make her heart stop.

She gave Lee a smile and went back to looking at the clipboard in her hand.

Helo had been the first person to make her aware of how their relationship looked to an outsider. She could still remember the day he crouched down by the head of her bunk and asked if she was planning on telling her best friend that she was in love with the Commander's son.

Kara had been half asleep at the time, but she still knew he wasn't talking about Zak. Helo knew about Zak, but he also knew that Kara had loved the youngest Adama. He wouldn't feel the need to have her confirm that which he already knew. That meant he was talking about Lee. That was a whole other problem in itself, but it added up to the same thing.

She liked to torture herself with these relationships that could never be.

She turned to Helo and smiled before explaining that history wasn't on her side when it came to Lee Adama. Helo promptly grinned back at her and asked when was Starbuck ever one to let a stupid thing like history get in her way.

Kara had chewed on that little comment for weeks.

Her attention drifted away from the clipboard again. Lee was doing his best to work with Seelix on the repair of her Viper. Kara had fraked up rather good during the last encounter she had with the Cylons, and until it was fixed, she was stuck sharing Lee's Mark VII. He had assured her he didn't mind, but she couldn't ignore the fact that he had spent his last couple off-shifts down in this maintenance bay with her bird.

Kara heard a large clunk and managed to turn in time to see something that looked suspiciously like her main engine fall from the bottom of the whole plane. By the time she processed what she was seeing, Lee had begun to start viciously kicking the bottom panels of the Mark II. Everyone stared in shock as the CAG finally lost it, and Kara couldn't help but laugh.

Her laughter must have through the rafters because Lee straightened up immediately and looked her way. He gave her a small shrug and started barking out orders to Seelix about the parts they would need.

Kara's attentions were called away from her new hobby of CAG watching by a little altercation between some deckhands who couldn't understand the concept of following their superior officer's orders without question. When she turned back, Lee was talking casually to Kat.

Kara's eyes narrowed.

Kat had been asking about Lee a lot lately. She wanted to know what the CAG's story was, who he was before the attacks and why he seemed so distant most of the time.

Kara had no urge to give Kat the answers she wanted. It had taken Kara years to finally understand Lee. She wasn't going to just hand that kind of information out on a whim. You had to earn it.

Her attention came back to the present as she heard Kat… was that actually a giggle? Kat was giggling. She was giggling and she was resting her hand on Lee's arm.

Kara watched Lee stiffen and knew she was probably the only one to notice the change. She focused back on the clipboard in her hand and did her best to hold back the laugh. Nothing was funnier than watching women flirt with Lee. It happened all the time, and regardless of how attractive he knew he was, it freaked Lee out.

She forced herself to finish the checklist in front of her before chancing another glance at Lee, but when Kat brushed past her workstation with a none-too-pleased look on her face, she couldn't help it. The look of relief on Lee's face was downright comical, and as their eyes locked, Kara got the feeling it was just for her that his lips turned up in a smile.

They held each other's gaze for a second before Lee motioned for her to come over.

Kara handed the clipboard to the nearest deckhand with the instructions of giving it to the Chief and slowly made her way to Lee's side. "Something you need, Captain?"

Lee nodded and pointed to the torn apart Viper. "Help."

"I'm sure Seelix and Kat could have offered you a hand."

"Seelix is working on three other birds in addition to this one."

"And Kat?"

Lee looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Is fraking annoying."

"I see," Kara said, giving a small nod. "Well then, I guess you have no other option but me."

"Obviously," Lee agreed.

Kara moved to lie underneath her Mark II, and it was only a few seconds before Lee joined her. Together, they spent the afternoon and their mutual off-shifts laughing and joking as they did the impossible and brought Starbuck's bird back from the dead.


	87. Cold

"_The cold of space can be extremely discomforting the first time you feel it, but you will find a creative way to warm up when your bird touches the ground, " Kara told the class of nuggets, and she did her best not to wink at the man in the back of the briefing room who knew firsthand of the creative way she had snuggled in next to him ten minutes after she landed a Viper for the first time._

Kara slammed her stack of papers down onto the front table and turned to smirk at the class in front of her. "Kellerman is out sick so I'm teaching her class today. Most people call me Starbuck, but you can call me God."

There were a few snickers which Kara killed with one particularly well-aimed look. "We are going to go over the basics unless someone wants to tell me that you've already mastered them."

"What if we have?"

Kara's eyes snapped up to look at the nugget sitting in the front row. He actually had the nerve to look relaxed. "Well then, I'll take you down to the simulators and prove you wrong." Kara pointed to the plaque on the wall behind her. Each classroom had one of these as all the nuggets knew. "See that? Those are the flight records for the Academy. If you look closely, there are only a handful of names on there. Mine is one of them. Until one of you frakers gets _your_ call sign up there, you shut up and listen. Got it?"

That little tirade earned her a roomful of nods, and Kara sighed in relief. She really didn't want to waste class time on pointless simulator runs, not that she didn't love the sims. Hell, she had even named her favorite machine.

Kara realized everyone was staring at her and started rifling through her notes. "Says here that you were about to cover the reality of flying in space. Does anyone have any stupid questions before we start?"

"What does it feel like?"

Kara's eyes scanned the room, but instead of landing on the person who asked the question, she settled on the man leaning in the doorway behind all the nuggets. She smiled and gave a small nod before turning her attentions back to her job. "Ah yes… a truly stupid question. It's space. Hopefully you will never have to experience its feel."

The young girl in the back turned bright red, but to her credit, she straightened up and tried again. "I meant what does being in the cockpit in space feel like?"

"The cold of space can be extremely discomforting the first time you feel it, but you will find a creative way to warm up when your bird touches the ground, " Kara told the class of nuggets, and she did her best not to wink at the man in the back of the briefing room who knew firsthand of the creative way she had snuggled in next to him ten minutes after she landed a Viper for the first time.

Lee nodded and motioned he would be out in the hall when she was done.

The rest of the lecture flew by once the nuggets got their stupid questions out of the way. Kara did her best to put the fear of the gods in them while also preparing them for their inevitable first launch. The class of nuggets left with two very distinct feelings. Half the class looked incredibly worried that they were going to die the second they left gravity behind. The other half looked like they were going to combust with excitement. That was the half that would make it in this program. That was the half that would know the joy of being weightless and in control.

The nuggets filtered out quickly, and Kara started gathering up her things. Kellerman hated when Kara left her classroom a mess.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Kara looked up to see the man who had asked her the question about what she would do if they had already mastered basic flight. He was still sitting in his seat. "What is it, nugget?"

"You're Kara, aren't you?"

Kara's hand froze in the air, and she turned to take a better look at this kid. No one called her Kara at the Academy. It undermined her authority as a mean son of a bitch. "What?"

"I knew it the second you made that joke about warming up after your first flight out."

"How?"

"I was worried about how it would feel like most of the class, so I asked my brother to tell me about it." The nugget could see Kara's mouth open to tell him to get to the fraking point, and he held his hand up. "Just humor me, sir."

"Your brother's a pilot?" Kara asked after a few seconds, agreeing to his plea to listen. She leaned back against the table and waited.

"He is. He told me a story, sir, about his closet friend in Academy and her first flight. She came knocking on his room, interrupting his studying, and pushed him onto his bed. Before he knew it, she had shed her flight suit, crawled in next to him, and pulled the covers up around their bodies. Lee told me that was the only time he ever let you pull him completely and totally away from his studies."

"Lee?" The other words she wanted to say caught in her throat. All she could managed was his name.

The nugget stood up and smiled at her. "I'm Zak Adama, sir, and I have to say I'm really sorry that I didn't get placed in your normal class. You're as good as Lee always said you were."

Kara was left gaping at the chair this cocky nugget had just vacated. Lee told her his little brother was going to start flight school soon, but she hadn't realized that soon meant this year. Gods damn Lee and his cryptic way of giving her information.

She slammed the rest of her papers into her bag and stomped out of the room. Lee pushed off the wall he was leaning on the second he saw her. He had barely adjusted to her presence before her fists started beating on his chest. "What the frak? Kara. Stop it. _Stop it_."

Kara threw one last punch that hit him squarely in the jaw, and she saw him recoil. She had really made contact on that one. "Fraking hell, Lee. You could have told me your little brother was a nugget before he threw an embarrassing story in my face and undermined the little amount of authority I may have had." She whacked him on the arm again. "Bastard."

Lee smiled and slung his now bruised arm across her shoulders, ignoring the pain. "Let's go get lunch, Kara, and then you can tell me which story Zak embarrassed you with."

Kara made it a few steps before his words sunk in. "Just how many stories did you tell your brother?"

Lee chuckled and tightened his hold on her, dropping a quick kiss on the top of her head.


	88. Forgotten

_The pain left over from a punch was a lot easier to forget than the lingering desire left over from a kiss._

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

Kara found herself wandering the corridors of Pegasus even though she should be in briefings by now. The Old Man would be pissed if he knew she was shrugging her duties as CAG, but right now she didn't care. Honestly, being yelled at by the Admiral sounded a lot better than subjecting herself to the stony silence of the Admiral's son.

She and Lee left their relationship on pretty bad terms when she moved down to New Caprica, and now that that little portion of their lives was over, nothing had changed. They hadn't fixed the tears yet.

Kara's mind flashed back to the day she told Lee she was leaving the military behind to start a life with Sam. Her hand ran along her jaw even though the bruises had long since faded. Her fingers shifted to her lips. The pain left over from a punch was a lot easier to forget than the lingering desire left over from a kiss.

She hated how they left things.  
_  
_Biting down on her lip, Kara decided that it was time to stop being stupid. It was time she and Lee started acting their age. Plus, with the way her marriage with Sam crumpled, she figured she might be the only person who could truly understand what Lee was going through right now. His divorce was turning out to be a lot messier than hers. At least that's the tune to which her pilots kept gossiping.

She was halfway to the conference room where her first meeting was being held when the floor shook underneath her. She had barely a second to understand what was happening when the whole corridor lurched.

Then the screams started.

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

Lee felt himself lurch back into the memory of the moment the Blackbird exploded around him. He was floating in space all over again. He felt like he was on his own.

"Commander Adama!"

Hoshi's voice made his eyes snap open, and Lee looked over at his newly re-appointed tactical officer. One look was all it took to let Lee know this was it. This was the end. "How bad is it?"

"Bad, sir."

Lee let the words wash over him and tried to push down the immediate need to scream in anguish. Pegasus was the only thing he had to live for these days.

The gods were cruel.

"Sir?"

Lee looked up and realized that most of the CIC was staring at him. He silently chided himself. He was their Commander. They needed him to keep it together. "Sit rep?"

"We have reports from some of the crew who were in the gym, " the comms officer said quickly. "They said the power is down and they're locked in."

Lee shook his head. Whatever was happening, it was worse than a power shortage and a small bout of claustrophobia. "Something happened on that level."

"Do you want me to send a unit of Marines down there?" Hoshi asked.

Someone cried out in surprise, cutting Lee's response off completely. He followed everyone's stares, and his eyes widened in horror. "Cross?" Lee stammered. He had never seen his top Viper pilot looking this disheveled. Showboat wiped the hair out of her face, and it was then that Lee saw the giant gash on the side of her head. "What's going on?"

"We've been boarded, sir." Showboat coughed, and it was only because Hoshi chose that moment to grab hold of her that she didn't fall to the ground. "Centurions, sir," she spit out, leaning on the tactical officer. "Everywhere."

Lee could feel the sense of horror wash over him as he remembered the only day these past few years where he really thought the Fleet wasn't going to make it to Earth. The fear started clogging his vision, and Lee had to hold onto the table in front of him to keep from losing it all together. He could hear them all calling his name, but it sounded like it was a million miles away.

_Oh gods. They were all going to die._

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

Kara ran through the corridors, following the screams. She ordered every person she passed to either get into a fighter or get into one of the evacuation pods. She had no clue what was happening, but she knew it was bad. She knew that she couldn't do this one on her own.

"Gunny!" Kara screamed, her eyes catching on her old friend as he ran past her. He had a few of his crew in tow and looked rather official.

"Thrace, what the frak are you doing here?"

"Following the trouble," Kara yelled. She skidded to a stop in front of him, pausing a moment, and then grabbed his collar. "Come with me."

The screams got closer. It only took a few more corridors to find the source, but it was enough time for Gunny to tell her that her gut instinct was correct. The Centurions were on board Pegasus. This was bad.

Kara ran through the hatch to the briefing room first, feeling the Marines close behind her. Her eyes immediately caught on the girl at the front of the room. She was crouched down in a ball, screaming her head off. It wasn't until Kara got closer that she realized the girl was covered in blood. "What the frak is wrong with her?" Kara screamed to the crowd of people hovering around her.

"She was in the hallway with the rest of our squad when the ship punched through the hull. The Centurions ripped apart her wingman right in front of her face. It was all I could do to grab her hand and start running. We weren't trained for this."

"What's your name?" Kara asked, trying to make her voice loud enough to drown out the commotion all around them.

"Wesley Stevenson, sir."

"Well, Stevenson, you've done good so far. Running was the right thing to do," Kara reassured him. She waited until she got a reluctant nod from him and then turned to the girl crouched on the floor.

To their credit, the group only flinched slightly as Kara punched the screaming girl in the face as hard as she could. The air was quiet for a few seconds as the girl collapsed onto the floor, unconscious. Then another explosion rocked the ship, and people started yelling out questions. Kara's eyes swept across the faces of those around her. She didn't recognize one of them. "What squad did you say you were on?"

"We're not on a squad," the girl next to Kara said. "We're nuggets."

Kara felt a little bit of confidence slip away. "How new are you?"

"We just started our training a week and a half ago."

Kara bit down on her lip as she felt the sudden urge to start crying. The screams started ringing in her ears, and she knew that this time it wasn't some nugget freaking out. There were people dying only yards away.

She jumped slightly as she felt a hand come around her arm and twisted to look at Gunny. "We need to move, Captain."

Kara's face steeled immediately. He was right.

She turned to one of the Marines. He was holding a radio and looked at least semi-competent. She hoped to the gods that little piece of technology was still working. "Let the CIC know we're stuck down here and what we plan to do." She twisted to look at the squad of nuggets but not before seeing Gunny lean over to the Marine she had just ordered to report in. She knew that Gunny was telling him to make sure he mentioned Starbuck was with them. Pushing her thoughts about why that would make a difference to the side, she straightened her back and tried to look official. "Listen up, nuggets. It's your lucky day because you are now in the capable hands of Galactica's CAG and some of the finest Marines the Fleet has to offer. We are going to exit the door on my right and keep running until we find an evacuation pod. Do not stop for any reason. Right now the only priority you have is getting your own ass off this ship." Kara let her eyes drift across every innocent face staring back at her. "Welcome to the real world, kids."

She took off at a sprint and didn't bother to check to see if the nuggets were falling her. She had given the necessary inspirational speech. Now it was up to them. What she told them was true. In situations like this, all you could do was look out for yourself and hope that the others would do the same.

A small voice in the back of her head reminded her that wasn't entirely true. Because as much as Kara knew it was a mistake and as much as she knew she was being hypocritical, she was not going to step onto that evacuation pod when they reached it.

No, Kara Thrace had one more person to look out for besides herself. It seemed like it had always been that way, and, gods be damned, she was not going to let Lee Adama die unless she was right there beside him.

They were halfway down the corridor outside the briefing room when Kara heard someone call her name. It sounded like that Stevenson kid. Going against her better judgment, she turned around to check, and that's when a third explosion rocked the ship. She could feel the metal twisting around her, falling down on her, and then the world went black.

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

"Where are we on that report from Gunny's team?" Lee screamed.

"The area they reported from a few minutes ago was cut off."

"What does that mean?"

"Honestly, sir?"

Lee glared at the comms officer and waited for a reply. He didn't have time to play this game. His people were dying.

"The explosions probably knocked out the comm they were using. The same thing happened on Level C near the mess hall. You had me send a few Marines down there to help with the evacuation."

"Do the same for the area by the briefing room."

"There's no time," Hoshi cut in. He walked over to Lee's side and pointed at the projection on the screen in front of him. "The Centurions are already here… here… and here. A Marine team would have to cross them at least five or six times on the way to the briefing room."

"So you're telling me that whomever's in that part of the ship is on their own?"

"Yes," Hoshi said, the regret thick in his voice. He knew how much his Commander didn't want to admit how dire these circumstances were. That was why it was his job to force the hard decisions.

Lee was about to argue when the comms officer interrupted. "Not necessarily. Sir," he added hastily.

"Explain," Lee demanded.

"Gunny was able to get off some of his report before the line went dead. He and four of his team were able to find that missing squad of nuggets."

A little weight fell off of Lee's shoulders. He had no clue he had even been worrying about those nuggets.

It only took a few seconds for his relief to fade away. "Why should the presence of five Marines reassure me that they're going to get to an evacuation pod?"

"Because they have more than five Marines on their side. They have Starbuck."

"Ka-" Lee caught himself. "Captain Thrace?"

"She'll get them to the evacuation pods, sir."

Lee nodded, but he could already feel his thoughts drifting. According to the schematics in front of him, there were over two dozen Centurions in Kara's way. He knew she was good, but he wasn't sure she was that good.

"Sir, what's our plan?"

Hoshi's words brought him back to reality for the hundredth time since this whole crisis started. Lee's mind switched to autopilot as he ran over the possible scenarios he could put into play. In the end, only one thing was clear. "We've lost."

"Sir?" Hoshi said quietly, not sure he had heard his commanding officer correctly.

Lee's face steeled, and he turned to look at the remnants of his CIC crew. "The fight is over, people. I want everyone to get to an evacuation pod now." He turned to Hoshi. "Put out a call through the shipwide comms. Hopefully some of the speakers are still working. Tell those listening to make their way to the nearest evacuation pod. Anyone capable of flying a Viper or a Raptor needs to get down to hangar bay. We need to save as many ships as we can."

"What about Pegasus?"

"Pegasus is gone." It broke his heart to say those words out loud, but Lee knew he needed to be strong here. "We can't dwell on that. I want you to put in a call to Galactica before you leave. Tell them that the evacuations will be complete in a little under an hour. They are to remain on guard."

"What about when the hour's up?"

"Tell them to open fire. My girl deserves to go down in a blaze of glory."

Hoshi nodded and, without hesitation, started placing the call.

Lee started ushering people out into the hall, ordering them to do something he had never thought he would. It was time to abandon their posts.

A minute of yelling was all he had to waste to get most of the CIC moving. It had taken well over a year, but the people who served under him had finally learned to respect his authority. If he said evacuate, he meant evacuate.

Lee sprinted out into the corridors, following the stream of people on their way to the evacuation pods. He only made it a few steps.

No sound rang through his ears. No heat blasted his body. No large flare of white and yellow and blue blinded him.

Lee simply found himself in a heap halfway down the corridor, his head ringing from what felt like the beginnings of a concussion. Shaking his head clear, he registered people running frantically all around him. No one offered to help him, which was the first clue that something was drastically wrong.

The second clue was when Lee fought back the pain enough to look down the corridor where he was standing.

The CIC was gone.

It was buried underneath a pile of rubble and flames. There were a few people frantically trying to dig through the clutter towards the people Lee knew were trapped inside. A couple of officers were arguing over what to do. Still, others were simply standing, staring at the chaos around them, just like Lee.

Lee felt a coolness on his head. His fingers pressed against his forehead and came back wet and cold, bathed in a red that should not be there. The pounding got louder around him.

A scream pierced through the haze. As the fact that he was the Commander of this ship finally came back to him, Lee sprang into motion. He shrugged out of his jacket, pausing only to wipe the blood away from his eyes. The jacket was torn in too many places to be of any other use. He shouted at those who weren't in shock to help dig out those they knew were still alive and began using his bare hands to move hunks of metal and plastic.

The effort only took a few minutes. Most of the people they found were too far gone to save.

Lee whispered a quick prayer to the gods for the crew he had just lost and then shouted at the survivors to follow him down to the evacuation pods. He slipped his hand underneath the shoulder of an injured strategic officer and started walking as quickly as he could. He hoped the others kept up.

All the way down to the hangar bay, Lee continued to yell at them to move. He told them they were almost there at every turn they made, and for some reason, no one pointed out that he was lying. He handed off the injured man he was supporting to the nearest deckhand and started making his way back through the hangar bay hatch.

"Commander Adama!"

Lee turned around to see the comms officer from before. The kid had made it. "Yes?"

"Sir, you need to get on an evacuation pod."

Lee watched the young boy's eyes hover on the wound that was still openly bleeding. "Don't worry about me, kid. Get yourself off this ship. I'll get on a ship when I know the rest of the crew is safe."

"Sir, excuse me, but that's stupid."

Lee narrowed his eyes and walked back to stand in front of the comms officer. "What's your name?"

"Petty Officer Grady Beck, sir."

"Well, Petty Officer Grady Beck, you seem like a rather smart young man, but there are things you don't understand. Now get on that evacuation pod before I make it an order."

"Yes, sir," Beck said, snapping off a salute.

Lee returned the gesture and started sprinting out into the corridor. He was glad that Beck was so young that he didn't know the right questions to ask. It was better off for no one to know what he was doing. Then, when they realized the Commander had not gotten off the ship, no one would have to carry the guilt of knowing why.

Lee paused for a moment and tried to remember what that comms officer had said when he was relaying reports. The briefing room was only a few levels away.

As he turned the first corridor, Lee felt his ship start to shake again. This time he knew what it meant. He had lost another part of Pegasus, and there was no way to know if that part was the one he was running towards. A sense of urgency sunk in, and in response, his feet picked up the pace.

A loud bang filled the air behind him, and Lee fought back the uneasy feeling that those evacuation pods weren't even going to make it far enough to launch. He had felt it the second the first Centurion dive bombed into the side of his ship. All would be lost.

His hands curled up into fists. If this was how it was supposed to be, he would kill every one of those metal mother frakers with his bare hands before he let them think they won… especially if they took her without giving him a chance to say goodbye.

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

Kara felt the light from the corridor beating against her head long before her eyes opened. After a second she realized the pounding was more likely due to the fact that she was moving. There was a strange pressure on her arms. Another second later, she realized she wasn't moving at all. She was being moved. Gathering up all her strength, she opened her eyes and tried to focus through the pain.

There was a figure standing over her. The pressure on her arms suddenly made sense. "Wha-" Kara only got the one syllable out of her mouth before her vision went white. She slammed her eyes shut and prayed to the gods her knees held out as the pain engulfed her.

"Shh. Don't talk, Kara."

"Lee?" She hadn't realized her voice was so raspy. Had it always been that way?

"I said don't talk."

She decided the voice sounded so pissed off it had to be Lee. His grip tightened around her. "We have to move right now," he whispered. "They're coming."

Kara tried to move her legs, but nothing happened. Another explosion rocked the ship, and she felt Lee being thrown away. The desperation and fear kicked in the second his hands left her arm. Kara lashed out, and her hands hit something immediately. She forced her eyes open to see the large piece of debris sitting on her lap. The next thing she noticed was the bodies. All those nuggets…

A groan tore her gaze away, and she twisted to see Lee slumped against what used to be a corridor wall. A soft clicking echoed through the devastated corridors. "Lee," she hissed, her hand coming to push on the chunk of debris. It moved an inch, and the throbbing in her legs multiplied by a hundred.

Lee's head was spinning for the second time in under an hour, but he managed to quiet it down enough to hear her voice. He had been doing something before. He hated that he couldn't remember what that was.

_They're coming_. Lee's words from before rang in her head, and Kara suddenly made the connection.

Centurions.

Instincts kicked in almost immediately. They needed to move. Kara bit down on her lip as hard as she could before shoving the debris with all her might. It slid completely off, and her vision went red.

There wasn't time to dwell on the pain. She moved her legs slightly and was grateful to feel them despite the pain.

Kara crawled the few feet it took to make it to Lee. "The Centurions are coming," she whispered.

Lee's eyes snapped open as memory after memory cut through the haze in his head. "Kara."

Thankfully, Kara knew that look so she had time to brace herself before Lee pulled her to her feet. "Frak!" she screamed as the blood rushed down to her legs. Her knee gave out completely, and she felt Lee's hands tighten around her. "I'm fine. I'm fine," she snarled.

Lee was about to tell her that she was definitely not fine when he heard the sound of moving metal. It was getting closer. "Hold on," he said.

Kara did her best to do what he said as Lee started yanking them down the war-torn corridor. "How bad is it?"

Lee continued to stare straight ahead. "The CIC's gone. I think that the port side hangar bay took, at the very least, a heavy hit. Worst case scenario, it's completely gone. Communications are down, and all evacuation pods that are still in intact were probably jettisoned over ten minutes ago. The Admiral's under orders to shoot us down within the next twenty minutes. I don't want Pegasus taken."

Kara nodded. She had figured it was that bad.

They almost made it to the stairs of the next level when she felt Lee stumble. Her body slammed into the wall, and her fingers reached out to find purchase. The sounds of the Centurions were even closer. "We're not going to make it," she said, her eyes locking with Lee's for the first time.

Lee's eyes scanned the area around him, and Kara watched his jaw square. Then he was yanking both of them through the only hatch in the corridor that was still on its hinges. She barely had time to register that they were in an equipment locker before he was letting go and she was sliding to the floor. He fell down next to her.

They stayed that way, side by side, both silently trying to regain their breath, for what felt like an eternity. The pain was fading in Kara's legs, but she was no longer sure that was a good thing.

She watched Lee's head dip silently and reality set back in. "You're hurt."

Lee raised his chin to look at her, and something familiar flashed in his eyes. Without a word, he got to his feet and walked to the other side of the equipment locker.

Kara watched him silently pace for a few minutes. She couldn't help but notice the slight limp he was now walking with. He _was_ hurt.

He stopped pacing and leaned against a counter, his eyes coming to rest on her. She knew he was waiting for her to ask him a question, but none came to mind. She already knew what he was doing here. After all, she had been preparing to do the same thing before that explosion took her out. She didn't want to ask him why the gods were doing this because she knew that he didn't the answer.

She took in the dirt and blood caked to his body, and suddenly everything they had done in the past came rushing back to her. Of all the mistakes they had made, she knew she had made the biggest one. She knew he loved her. He had been rather vocal with his feelings at least a few times, but she wouldn't hear anything of it.

Who the hell did she think she was to make him wait?

They had been so stupid for so long, and now it was too late to fix it.

"And your legs?"

Lee's voice cut through her thoughts, pulling her back into the situation. "I'm fine," she reassured him. "It hurt like a bitch at first, but it's getting better."

Concern flashed across his face before he could hide it. Kara was about to say something when a loud bang filled the corridor. The Centurions were here. She turned back to Lee and saw realization in his eyes. This was it. This was the end. In a few seconds, it would be over.

They only had one chance left.

_She _only had one chance.

"I'm sorry."

Lee watched her for a moment and then pushed off the counter he was leaning on. He limped his way over to where she sat and crouched down, holding his hand out to her. "Up for one last dance, Captain?"

She wasn't giving up this time. Kara nodded and let him help her to her feet.

Lee rattled through the cabinets and, after a minute, tossed two guns to her. He grabbed two of his own and checked the clips. The weight of the situation pressed down on them as they heard the sound of metal stop outside the hatch to the equipment locker.

The noises dropped out around her, and suddenly all Kara could hear was the sound of her breath mixing in with Lee's. Time slowed down as she held his gaze. There was a million things she needed to say right now.

Yet Lee was the one to speak first. "I forgive you, and even though it's not worth much, I'm sorry, too."

"It's worth a hell of a lot," Kara whispered. Shaking away the tears, she turned away from Lee and did her best to steel herself for what was ahead. She felt Lee settle in beside her as the pounding on the hatch began.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

The hatch exploded.

oooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooo

"And that's all you're getting for tonight," Kara insisted, getting to her feet.

"But Mommy!"

Kara smiled at the angry look on her daughter's face. "Don't 'but Mommy' me, Aliya. It's over twenty minutes past your bedtime."

"But I have to know," the little girl insisted, practically hopping out of the covers surrounding her body. "What happened to the Fleet's two best pilots? Did they kick the toasters' butts? How'd they get back to Galactica? What happened to the Pegasus?"

Kara shook her head. "Tomorrow night. Mommy's tired."

Aliya looked like she was going to protest but then stopped. "You do look tired."

"Mommys don't lie," Kara said, leaning in to kiss the top of her daughter's head. "Now go to bed."

Kara made it to the hatch before her daughter called out again. "Is Daddy going to come in and say goodnight?" She gave Aliya a small nod. Satisfied, her daughter burrowed herself into her covers again and shut her eyes. Kara let herself linger for just a second before shutting the hatch.

For some reason, she wasn't surprised to see Lee waiting for her in the middle of the room. She could feel him watching her and knew, despite the dim lighting, he could see the trail of tears on her cheeks. He crossed the room to stand in front of her, and Kara reached her hand out to cup his cheek. Her fingers traced the jagged scar that was there, marring a once perfect face, and she felt him lean into her touch.

Lee pulled his wife's hand away from his face and traced the faded lines on her palm, the only visible evidence of the dozen operations she went through to restore feeling after the Centurions ripped a line across one whole side of her body. He could still remember the feeling of watching her slowly bleed to death. He had never felt so helpless in his life.

To this day, he still had no idea how they managed to fight their way to the starboard side of the battlestar to find that abandoned Raptor in the hangar bay.

"She asked for her favorite bedtime story again, didn't she?" Lee whispered, moving his arms around Kara's body and pulling her close to him.

She nodded. "Do you think she'll ever put it together?"

Lee wished he could lie and say no, but he had made a vow a long time ago to stop lying when it came to Kara. "She will when she's old enough."

Kara tightened her hold on him, and Lee shifted to bury his face in her hair. He breathed her in and smiled. "She's waiting for me, isn't she?"

"You got it," Kara said, pulling back.

Lee gave her a quick kiss before letting go and turning towards their daughter's room. He was about to open the hatch when Kara's voice cut through the silence. "Lee?"

He turned to look back at his wife and saw something flash across her face. "What is it?"

She watched him for a second before shaking her head with a smile. "It's nothing."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Whatever had been on her mind a few seconds earlier disappeared completely as she watched her husband sit down on the edge of their daughter's bed. He whispered something and then leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Kara wiped the tears off her cheeks and turned to get herself ready for bed.


End file.
